Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
Beta'd by HollettLA
Summary: Young mother Kylie just gave birth to her second child, who just can't stop crying. Dumbfounded and clueless, she tries to no avail to stop his tears while also trying to care for her four-year-old son and her husband, who just doesn't understand…How will she cope?
"Clueless"
Chapter Two
Kylie POV
When I woke up, it was close to seven. Damion sat across from me eating. I guessed I'd only been out like twenty minutes. "He ate five, almost six ounces—burped good. Now, he's chillin'." Dame chewed. "I bet it was the formula. A lot of babies have digestion problems…are allergic. See how it goes, you know?"
"Yeah…five ounces. He usually only drinks four at a time," I whispered, taking the last sip of my cold coffee.
"This formula is lighter on the stomach…" He forked some food into his mouth. "Madonn' . . . fuckin' delicious . . . I love this. King of the castle, my woman serving me." Dame sounded just like Dad.
I giggled only to start crying again.
I missed my dad.
I missed my mom.
I missed the simplicity that everything used to be—
"I'm a horrible mother," I cried. "Who thinks this stuff?" I pointed to my temple.
Dame widened his arms. "Whatta you thinkin'?"
I shook my head. "I love my children. I love them so much. I just miss…I don't know." I covered my face.
"Hey…" Dame came over to hold me. "Stop that. Okay? You're great. A fantastic mom. Having an infant who cries all the time, that's stressful. Plus, your hormones are still all outta whack. Your body's adjusting…You're sleep deprived. Kylie—" he picked my chin up "—you're a great mother. I've never seen you adapt, fall into a role like that. The way you are with Peto, with Izzy…You're amazing, Kylie-Cat." He squashed me to his side.
"I love you, Dame-y Bear." I tried not to sob, holding it back.
"I love you, too." He gave me another squeeze, quick to get back to his plate. "Gio's gonna be gone all night. All of youse stay here, or…go to Sonny's, Mom and Dad's. It doesn't matter. You need a break before you get sick." He pointed his fork at me.
I declined, as everything I'd need for both kids were still at my house.
Lala was quiet for a whole half-hour, and I felt relieved, hoping we'd both get some sleep tonight.
Plus, if I could finally get some rest, I wanted my own bed.
I needed Gio to hold me, gather me into his arms when he came home. I needed him, even if it'd only be a glimpse—a short while—and I couldn't stay anywhere.
Damion said he'd give us a ride home, which was kind of dumb. Again, it'd take longer to load the kids in and out, and Saturday's almost his only day off.
I still felt incredibly guilty for barging in on them.
But Damion saved my bacon.
He really did.
He'd bought enough formula to last until Monday.
My brother refused my giving him money. Well, I left without my purse, so I didn't have any dough to give him at the moment, but I know how expensive formula can be.
He'd also insisted on giving us a lift, but then Sonny came by.
My biggest bro was concerned for me, too.
And because he reminds me so much of Dad, because he's always been a pseudo father in a way, I felt totally juvenile when I hugged him and didn't wanna let go. He smelled good, had cologne on, and he was in a suit, ready to go out—for work.
"Midnight Sun?" I asked, wiping my eyes again.
He frowned, staring down at me. "No, I have a meeting at La Bella Italia…I'll call or stop by Midnight Sun, send Gio home. I'll tell Ant to close—"
"No," I whispered. "Just…" If Lala was calming down, I'd be okay. "I just need my bed. Can you drive us home?"
"Ugh!" Damion threw his hands up. "It's okay for him to—? I don't understand."
"Sonny's on his way out; he's leaving already, goober." I furrowed my brow. "He's going my way."
Dame nodded. "Let Peto sleep over."
I thought about it.
"He could stay with us, too." Sonny pinched my cheek.
I didn't want to say no to Damion, but Peto spends a whole lot more time with Maggie.
Damion and Jordan are busy people, and I don't think they've ever watched Peto.
My son also spends a lot of time with my nephews—they're his best friends, more like his brothers than cousins.
Plus, he has bad dreams, and I know he won't hesitate to wake Sonny or Maggie up. He's most comfortable with them—around them more.
"Um…I think he'd probably—rather stay with Li'l Sonny and Eddie. I'm just being honest." I put my hands up. "I'll ask him, let him decide."
At the end of the day, I knew neither Jordan nor Maggie would forget to feed him. He'd be well taken care of no matter where he stayed.
"What?" Dame was offended, I could tell. "His place is a madhouse." He pointed to our brother.
Sonny chuckled. "Yeah, but Mags has a lot of patience—lets them run around and shit 'til they pass out." He shrugged. "I think they're making sugar cookies or something tonight."
"I have an idea," Jordan spoke up. "I think it'd be a lot of fun." She was excited about something, her face lighting up. "Izzy and I can stay over, too—we can camp in the living room, all the kids could play."
"Yo…" Dame stared at her.
"It was just an idea, and I'd get to chill with Maggie. Or, we can stay late—decorate cookies, and then come home." She shrugged.
"I won't be out long at all." Sonny looked to his watch. "Either way, all of youse know youse don't need an invite." He turned to Jordan. "That'd probably make Maggie's night. She's been having some nausea, but she's good." I still couldn't believe they kept her pregnancy a secret all this time. Or, I bet everyone knows but me; I've had my hands full, and Sonny just told Damion.
"Still?" Jordan is Maggie's doctor. Regardless, I couldn't believe Jordan kept that from her husband.
"You knew?" Dame asked.
"Uh, yeah, but she's also my patient," Jordan explained. There's some rule or something. And Maggie sees my doctor toward the ends of her pregnancies. But she's loyal, so…Jordan sees her before referring her elsewhere. It's something about family, and Jordan can't actually birth the babies…? I don't know. "Did the ginger ale help at all? Those home remedies I suggested?"
"No." Sonny snorted, and the idle chatter helped me relax even more. "But you know what I figured out?" He didn't wait for her to inquire. "I remember. She threw up a lot while pregnant with Sonny and then Eddie. She didn't puke once with Beth. I'm thinking this is another boy."
"It's possible." Jordan nodded. "We'll see how she carries. With Beth she gained weight everywhere, but with the boys it was like she'd swallowed a basketball."
"All right…Can someone tell me what we're doin'?" Damion was pissy, or jealous—of Sonny occupying Jordan's time. He is a goober sometimes, a wonderful weirdo. "Am I taking Ky home? Is Peto staying here or at Sonny's…?" He showed us his palms. "I'd just like to know what's up."
"You're such a grouch sometimes." Jordan grinned, hitting him with her butt.
Dame was fast to paw at it. "Look, go home and get some rest. Peto'll either be here or next door." He wrapped his arms around his wife. "We'll probably head over for a bit . . . Maggie's making cookies and all."
Jordan giggled, sucking her teeth. "Always thinking about your stomach," she teased.
Now, I was jealous—wanting to share carefree, witty, and silly banter with my husband.
"Okay…" I walked around them to go up a few steps. "Peto!"
Little feet ran down the hall until both Izzy and Peto came into view. "Yeah, Momma?"
I smiled because I love that he calls me "Momma," when all the other kids call their mothers, "Mommy." He sometimes sounds like an Italian immigrant. Don't ask me why, and when something's wrong, he goes, "Momma, Momma, Momma!" trying to call for me.
"Do you wanna have a sleepover with Izzy?" I asked, grabbing a booger out of his nose.
"Eh…" He leaned away. "Out my nose."
I'd gotten it and wiped it off on my shirt. "I'm gonna go home with Lala…" I turned to my brothers. "Regardless, he needs PJs from one of the boys."
"We have tees," Dame said.
"My Peto's staying." Izzy hugged his neck. "You can sleep wiff me."
"Okay." Peto shrugged. "Can Eddie and Sonny come over, too?"
"See?" I looked to Dame, but my attention went back to Peto. "That's up to your uncle. You sure you wanna stay?"
He nodded, his eyes bright. "I'mma miss you. You come and'a get me in da mornin'. Okay, Momma?" He hugged me.
I squeezed him tight, bending low to kiss his hair and then his lips. "I love you. Be good and listen to your aunt and uncle."
"I will." He nodded.
"Come on." Izzy pulled on his sleeve. "We gotta jump on da bed wiffout dem." I'm guessing it was supposed to be a secret.
"No jumping." Dame's tone was stern. "One of youse falls, and I don't wanna hear it. Why don't you come hang out down here? Play with toys in the living room."
"No fun, Daddy." Izzy pouted, walking down with Peto on her heels.
"Sometimes, it's not my job to be fun. I'm your dad." He tickled her side, while she winced away. "Get over here." Then he grabbed Peto to tickle him crazy.
I giggled, watching them as they disappeared. "Thank you," I told Jordan.
She kissed my forehead. "Call…I don't know why you won't call your mother. Bella wonders if you're mad at her."
That threatened to make me cry again. I'd been so busy, so wrapped up in things, I hadn't called her—talked to her since she was over days ago. "I'm not. I'll call when I get home." I needed my mother like I needed air to breathe.
Knowing I'd be talking to her soon was like a light at the end of the tunnel.
"Thanks so much again." I hugged her, and then I turned to get Lala. Sonny had him already—my bathrobe wrapped around the baby.
My uncle was actually outside, idling at the curb, and I had no idea why he didn't come inside. Well, I know why. Again, I have no idea what happened…whenever, but I know neither Dame nor Uncle Carlisle go out of their way to hang out with each other. They're cordial. They even joke and laugh, and they do talk, but there's still tension.
Sonny rode in the back with me, still holding Lala close since there was no car seat. We got to my house in less than a minute.
"You want me to send Alex over?" My uncle wore a frown. "She won't mind, not at all. A little help from whoever, whenever…" He trailed off.
"It's okay." I took the baby from my brother since Sonny insisted on opening my front door—checking the house before I entered. He's paranoid. "Thanks, though. He seems cool," I whispered; Lala was still quiet. He was awake, his brown eyes wide, and I decided the new formula was magic.
Fucking magic.
"You look terrible, my niece-y-poo." Uncle Carlisle palmed my cheek.
"Thanks," I grumbled.
"I'm just concerned. I'll talk to Peto—"
"No!" I exclaimed. "Just leave it. Okay? Please?" Before he could respond, I added, "Don't tell my dad or Aro either. They'll make it all a bigger deal. I don't know."
Uncle Carlisle nodded, agreeing with me, but I knew he was lying.
I sighed, seeing Sonny on my stoop. "Thanks for the ride."
My brother ushered us inside, and I breathed in relief—the comfort of home, having Lala quiet.
"Don't fight me. I'm sending Peto home." Sonny kissed my forehead. "You need help, Ky, and I don't give a fuck. Let him sit with the baby for a while. It doesn't matter—if you stay home and he works—you're both parents. I used to get up with the kids all the time. Hell, I still do when I'm home." He shrugged. "It's hard to do it alone, but you shouldn't have to . . . you have a husband."
I didn't say anything, knowing that no matter what I said, he'd be sending Gio home.
"Actually…" He held up a finger, placing his cell to his ear.
I left him to his call to unbundle my son.
Now, he was asleep, and after I put him down . . .
I said another silent prayer, thanking God, Damion, Jordan, Sonny…most of all the makers of Alimentum formula.
Sonny was smiling when he ended his call. "I didn't have to say anything. Gio's already on his way home."
"Who do you think talked to him?" I asked.
"I didn't say anything. I called and he said—he was on his way home to surprise you. I don't think anyone did." He kissed my forehead. "Have a good night and get some rest." Sonny closed the door after himself, and I locked it up.
Once again, as soon as my mother picked up the phone, I wanted to cry—this time in relief. She was out to dinner with my aunt, but she let me ramble on, tell her about what's been happening. Mom was relieved to hear how Damion helped, how the new formula was like a miracle. She still offered to come over, ditch her supper, but I told her I was okay—not wanting to disturb her night. Then she said she'd tell Dad to stop by, keep me company, listen for the baby while I slept, that she'd be over too when she was done . . .
I declined, letting her know Gio was on his way home.
Then she yelled at me…
Apparently, I'm stubborn, blah, blah…
I was told to call if anything, that she could be here in ten minutes—five if she was home.
"I love you," I cried, although I tried not to.
"Baby…I hate this. You need me, I'm there. Just tell me." Mom sounded emo now, too.
I sniffled as I heard Gio's keys; he was at the door. "I'll call." I wiped my eyes and then waved at my face, hoping it wasn't red. "Gio's home now."
"I love, love you, my Kylie. Mwah!" She sent me a kiss through the phone before ending the call.
Drying my face with my shirt, I tried to cheer up.
Gio wore a smile as he walked in. "Why you cryin'?" He kinda sounded like Little Peto.
It made me giggle. "I was just talking to my mom…"
Gio grabbed my chin and kissed me deep, a heart-searing lip-lock. He groaned, leaning away but wrapping his arms around me. "It's quiet."
I rested my head to his chest, exhausted. "I had to change formula…It was stomachaches, but he's still whinging and whining, crying. He's just quiet now."
"Should make him a doctor's appointment." He palmed my ass and kissed down my neck. "Where's Peto?"
Nothing he was doing was turning me on—I was numb but happy he was home, and yet I was too tired to show it, exasperated.
I tried to smile for my husband, knowing how hard he works, how stressed he might be with work. "He's at my brother's," I said. "Damion's…Why are you home?" I wondered who'd spoken to him, told him I was losing it.
"Why's he at Damion's?" He had a bit of an attitude. "Come on, Ky. You can't just pawn him off—"
"When do I ever, ever, pawn him off?" I got defensive. "Pawn? Only a couple of times when we had a date—the two times you took me out in the past four years—has he ever stayed over Sonny's. Get your facts straight. I don't pawn my kid off on anyone!"
He brushed his hair back with his hand. "I don't have all the time in the world. Sorry if I hoped to see my kid…"
I didn't say anything, not wanting to fight.
He let out a breath, taking off his coat. "I came home to have dinner with my wife, see my sons." He shrugged. "Did you make those steaks I marinated?"
I palmed my forehead. "I…no," I said. "I didn't cook at all—"
Gio was upset, staring to the floor.
"Um…I can make them now?" I asked.
"Don't bother. I just came home for a bit, so we could have dinner. I still gotta go back."
"No one told you—"
"Told me, what?" He had fight in his voice. "I'm really . . ." He paused. "Kylie, you're home all day. You can't cook? You can't clean this place up a bit?" He showed me a dirty burp cloth.
I thought I was going to vomit. "You have no idea—"
"You can't spare a measly twenty minutes to throw something together?" he asked. "How fucking lazy are you?"
I cried into my hands, and I had no rebuttal, as I wondered what the point was.
"I get it. You got Little Aro and Peto, but Peto's fine. He doesn't need as much care, can occupy himself." He shook his head. "I just don't understand. Then…you got our whole family here to help. I bet your moms came over after I left, was here all day, and she took care of the kids!" His voice rose. "But you couldn't cook?"
My lip quivered. "You have no idea what my day is like. You don't even give a fuck to ask. All…where's my dinner?" I picked up that same cloth and chucked it at him. "Fuck you! You don't know about my day, or all the shit I do—how Lala cries all day long. All day!"
Gio reached for my hand.
I backed away. "Thank God for my family. Because I sure as fuck don't get any help from you!"
"Kylie…" He wouldn't let me get away, and pulled me to him. "Stop—"
"No!" I sobbed. "You don't know. You don't even care to ask. You have no idea—" Lala started screaming again, and my knees felt weak—the sound threatening to kill me. Like I was literally going insane. "Leave," I said.
"What?" He leaned away to stare at me.
I beat against his chest. "Get the fuck out! I can't deal with you, too!"
"Kylie…stop." He grabbed my hands.
"No!" I pulled away from him. "He's a baby. He can't help it, but I won't listen to you. I can't. Get out!" I pointed. "Get outta my house!" Hollering, I ran upstairs to the nursery. "Go find some perfect bitch who'll cook you dinner!" I threw one of Peto's toys at him.
He barely dodged it and ran up the stairs—chasing me.
Once inside the nursery, I locked the door and leaned against it.
"Open this fuckin' door!" He banged it. "I'm not fuckin' around, Ky."
"Leave!" I cried.
"You don't mean that," he said. "Come out, and…Fuckin' talk to me!" Gio hit the door again, which made me jump.
I ignored him, leaning over the crib to pick up my son. "Shhhh," I sobbed, breaking down as I rocked him. "You're okay. We're okay…"
"I'm sorry. All right? Open the door, Ky!"
"Daddy's an asshole." I knew he'd hear me.
"Nice . . . You know what?" he asked. "You want me gone…I'm out."
I heard him tramping down the steps, and then I cried harder when he slammed the front door. "I didn't—I didn't think he'd actually leave," I told Lala. "Mommy sucks. I'm stupid."
Lala settled down a little.
"You think that's funny?" I sniffled, calming when he did. "Mommy's a dummy?"
He didn't have a reaction, but he'd stopped crying.
Our voices must have disturbed him, of course. He seemed to be doing a little better. His cry wasn't the same painful wail, but it was close.
After changing him and swaying him for an immeasurable amount of time, he fell back to sleep.
Worse for wear, still crying and exhausted, I let myself out of the nursery.
That was when it hit me, and I cried even harder.
I mean, I knew he'd come back.
But when…?
He didn't even beg to stay. He didn't even try that hard to talk to me, giving me that bullshit apology. Gio wasn't sorry at all.
I bet he wanted an excuse to leave.
About to curl up with my phone and the baby monitor, there was a soft knock at the door.
I smiled to myself, thinking maybe it was Gio, but it was my dad.
"Did-did you see Gio?" I asked.
Dad furrowed his brow, locking the door. "No…I just spoke to your mom."
I covered my face and Dad pulled me into his arms. "I screwed up, Skip."
"Oh…" He rubbed my back. "Talk to me."
I wiped my eyes, and Dad wiped my nose, getting my boogies, which made me giggle.
My father ushered me over toward the couch, and I tried to keep it together while I told him about my whole day. He wouldn't stop asking until I did, and it felt good to talk it out.
Talking actually kept me awake.
"He doesn't care—just worrying about his dinner," I cried. "I told him to leave, which was dumb…" I shook my head. "But…I didn't wanna fight. He called me lazy, and I am lazy…I suck. I can't even keep my kid quiet enough to throw a meal together." The guilt was threatening to kill me. "I forgot to feed Peto earlier." I wailed, muffling my cries with a pillow. "I'm horrible."
"Oh, baby." Dad squashed me to him. "You're none of those things. You hear me? You're amazing. And Peto's four. I bet he told you when he was hungry."
I tried to compose myself. "He told me, I think…I don't even know. Once I remembered…" The scene with the cereal broke my heart even more. "Daddy…" I hugged my father tight.
"You're okay. Come here." He pulled me onto his lap, like I was four or something. But I didn't care. "Peto's gonna come home."
"You-you can't hurt him. This is my-my fault," I said.
He wiped my tears away. "Youse were both talkin' shit." He shrugged. "You're a married couple. I'm not gonna interfere."
I sighed. "Okay."
It got quiet for a few minutes, and I settled down.
"Do you even want Gio to come home?" he asked, grimacing. "Hey, if shit has run its course—it's run its course." He clapped once. "You feel me, baby girl? You and the kids can come live with Mom and me. Fuck Gio—"
"No." I rushed out. "I still love him. He's my husband. We just…I can't believe I kicked him out."
"Good for you." Dad looked proud. "Fuck him."
"Don't say that." I shook my head. "What if—"
"You want him back?" Dad made me look at him.
"Yeah...of course I do," I whispered, trying my hardest not to cry again.
Dad pursed his lips, shrugging. "Then he'll be back."
I blew out a large breath. "I'm so tired."
Dad made me rest my head on his shoulder. "Sleep." He started to rock me.
I giggled. "Tell me everything'll be okay."
"Everything will be okay," he said and kissed my hair. "Go to sleep. Daddy's here."
"Thanks." I closed my eyes, trying to breathe deep, relax.
"I told you—you'll always be my baby. Same with Dame and Sonny. Doesn't matter how old youse get." He rubbed my back.
"You are the world's greatest dad. You should wear those shirts."
He chuckled. "Close your eyes. With some sleep, shit won't seem as bad. I promise. And Gio will be home."
"Okay." I rested my head to the crook of his neck, straightening my legs as I was sitting on him sideways. "I love you…"
"I love you." He kissed my forehead.
"How'd you know to come over?" I asked.
"Mom told me, like she tells me everything," he laughed. "I'd be one dense, lonely—miserable motherfucka without your mother."
I smiled, always a fan of how deeply he's loved Mom—their relationship had always been like a fairy tale to me. "Is Mom gonna come over?"
"We didn't wanna crowd ya…She wanted me to remind you that she's a phone call away, though. You call—you know she'll come running." He pushed my hair behind my ear. "We can call her now…"
"I'm cool." I felt myself dozing off.
Thank you for reading.
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