A/N: The Warblers Go Camping. SMH. Hope you guys like this chapter :) I'm working as dedicatedly as possible on The Warblers On Crack, but I'm also working on a multi-chapter that I'll post in a few weeks, so sorry if the updates are coming less frequently. I already have an idea for the next chapter, though, so I'll I've got to do is start it...haha. Please, please, please review! Love you guys (:


"Are we almost there yet?"

"Quit whining, Wesley," Thad snapped. "We'll be there soon enough."

Wes looked around at his surroundings. He imagined there would've been a lot of pretty, colorful things in the woods that smelled really good too. But it was just trees. And it smelled like animal poop.

Thad stopped and looked at his map, and then at the 3 different paths that were ahead of them. His brow wrinkled in confusion as he looked at the map more closely.

"Thad, do you actually know where you're going?" David asked, wiping sweat from his forehead.

"Of course!"

Jeff rolled his eyes and plopped down on a boulder that was beside the path. He pulled off his backpack and groaned. "I'm so tired! You said it wasn't that far from the main road, Thad."

"I thought…the map clearly says…" Thad trailed off, trying to decipher the map.

"I'm pretty sure that map if from like 1945, Thad," Blaine said. "It's probably not going to get us anywhere."

"Where's Kurt?" Nick asked.

Blaine sighed. "KURT!"

Just then, a dirty and tired looking Kurt trudged up the path, moaning and groaning. "I cannot believe you convinced me to come on this stupid camping trip, Blaine. I don't know if I'll EVER be able to get out all the dirt from under my nails."

"Aww, poor baby," Wes said sarcastically.

Kurt stuck his tongue out at Wes, and then turned to their trail guide. "Thad, you're paying for my mani when we get home."

Ignoring him, Thad pointed to the middle path. "I'm pretty sure this is the one. Wait…bomb shelter…maybe not." He turned over the map to look at the other side.

"Nick, what the hell are you wearing?" David asked, smirking.

"This is the only thing I could find adequate for camping, David."

"A boy scouts uniform from like 6 years ago? I'd hardly call that adequate."

"It still fits perfectly fine!" Nick protested, looking down at his once-pants that now went down only to his knees. "Don't you think, Jeffy?"

"Sure, babe."

Kurt let out another groan. "My feet kill. What ever happened to 'it's about a 10 minute walk from town', Thad?"

"If you guys would quit complaining, maybe I'd be able to find our camp sight!" Thad barked.

Blaine sunk to the ground and pulled out his cell phone. "I'm calling Trent to come pick us up. Who's coming?"

All of the other boys murmured in agreement, except for Thad who quickly snatched Blaine's phone away from him. "No! This is supposed to be Warbler bonding time!"

"I'm not really feeling the connection," Jeff commented.

"Yeah, I just want to go home," Wes agreed.

Blaine snatched back his phone, and started dialing Trent's number. "Wait a minute, guys. I don't have signal here." Everyone pulled out their phones to check for signal bars, but nobody had any, which earned a satisfied grin from Thad.

"We're going to die!" Nick said dramatically.

"We'll be fine," Thad reassured. "Let's take this path." He pointed to the one that was on the far left side.

David shrugged and followed him. The other Warblers copied grudgingly. The path turned out to be quit curvy, and it contained haphazard logs and bushes, which were hard to maneuver around. After they had been walking about 20 minutes, Kurt suddenly tripped over a large log, knocking down himself, Wes, and Jeff.

"Are you okay?" Blaine asked, rushing over to Kurt's side.

"I'm fine, thanks," Wes grumbled as he got back to his feet and brushed dirt off of his pants.

"I'm fine, Blaine," Kurt said angrily as he tried to rub out a grass stain on his shirt.

Jeff had fallen on a pile of sticks, so he had several minor cuts in his arm. Nick treated them with the first-aid kit Kurt had brought, while Wes tried to keep David from fainting at the sight of blood. Once everyone was put back together as best as could be, they continued down the path. It wasn't too much longer until they reached their campground, though it seemed like hours.

Thad grinned proudly. "This is it! Home sweet home!"

The other boys looked around, unimpressed. It appeared to be just another section of dirt and leaves. "Are you kidding me?" Kurt asked. "We came all this way just for more trees?"

Thad glared at him. "Yes. Now I'd appreciate it if you'd try to have a better attitude, Kurt."

Jeff faked a smile. "It's really…nice." He turned in a complete circle, taking in the dull atmosphere. "Nice."

"Anyway, let's get our tents set up!" Thad said excitedly. "And then we can build a campfire!"

"Good, I'm starving!" Nick exclaimed.

"Me too," Blaine agreed. "Did you remember the food Wes?"

"Wes?"

"WES?"

"NO! No, I didn't remember the food, okay? I'm sorry. I had a lot on my mind, and David kept pestering me to marry him on Facebook, so I forgot to put the food in my backpack, and I promise when we start eating each other out here from starvation I can be first. After Thad."

"We are literally going to die! We have no food!" Nick whined.

"Well, we'll just have to find something in the woods. I hope you remember all you learned in boy scouts, Nick. It'll be coming in handy," Thad said cheerfully.

The boys groaned. "Can we please just go home?" Jeff asked.

"No. It'll be fun! I'm sure there's lots of edible fruits and vegetables in these parts."

"I think I'll starve, thanks," Kurt muttered.

David and Jeff started pitching the tents, while Nick and Blaine started searching the surrounding woods for food. Wes and Thad just argued about who knows what, and Kurt sat on a rock, pouting.

"Jeff-no, Jeff, you're going to get trapped inside if we do it that way. Jeff!"

"Too late."

Kurt sighed. "You guys really are no use! Even I know how to properly set up a tent, and I'm the gay one!"

"I'm gay too," Jeff protested.

"I'm still not certain," Kurt objected.

David snorted. "You couldn't set up a tent if your life depended on it, Kurt."

"Oh yeah? Watch me." It took about 10 minutes, but sure enough, Kurt successfully put up the tiny tent, surprising the other Warblers thoroughly.

"Where did you learn to do that, Kurt?" Wes asked.

"I taught myself," Kurt said haughtily.

"Who brought the tent?"

"I did," Jeff responded.

"You do realize it's a tent for like, 2 people right?" David smirked.

"I thought we could have Warbler cuddle time!" Jeff said enthusiastically.

"Never mind, you're totally gay." Kurt concluded.

A few minutes later, Nick returned from the woods, looking tired and dirty and empty-handed.

"All that's out there is poison ivy and pine cones, Thad," Nick informed him.

"Where's Blaine?" Jeff asked.

"I don't know," Nick replied nonchalantly.

"You don't know? You lost my boyfriend?" Kurt shrieked.

Nick shrugged. "He told me to go on back without him. The woods is not that big, Kurt. He'll be fine."

"There are probably wild animals out there, Nicholas! Lions, and tigers, and bears-"

"Oh my," David couldn't help but mutter.

"-And you left him all by himself? Defenseless?"

"He'll be fine!" Nick repeated. "There aren't any tigers or bears within miles of here. Right, Thad?"

"Actually I have no idea."

Kurt let out a frightened yelp and Nick shook his head. "You're the worst trail guide EVER."

A few more minutes passed, which were spent pacing the campground nervously by Kurt, while everyone else tried to calm him down. Finally, Blaine showed up covered in dirt from head to toe, and holding a few blueberries. "This was all I could-" Before he could finish, Kurt kissed him soundly on the mouth. "BLAINE!"

Blaine laughed. "What was that for?"

"I thought you had died!" Kurt replied before kissing Blaine again.

"Why would you think that?" Blaine chuckled.

"Nick said there were lots of lions and tigers in the woods!"

Nick mouth dropped open. "I never said that!" Jeff patted him on the back to calm him down, knowing neither Blaine nor Kurt was paying attention.

"Alright guys," Thad started. "Let's dig in." They all stared at 7 blueberries in Blaine's hand, and then back up at Thad.

"There's one for each of us!" Thad encouraged weakly.

The other Warblers just shook their heads in despair and trudged over to the tent, ready to call it a night.

"Blaine, I set up the tent all by myself," Kurt announced proudly.

"Good job, Kurt! Looks like you finally got it." Blaine smiled and turned to the other boys. "It took me a whole day to teach him how to do it," he explained.

"You taught yourself, huh, Kurt?" David snickered.

The pale boy glared at him and climbed into the tent after Blaine. Once they were all in the tent, practically lying on top of each other, Wes let out a yelp. "Ow! Nick, get off my lap!"

"You can sit on my lap, Nick," Jeff said suggestively.

"I would if I could find you! Anybody remember a flashlight?"

No one had.

"Kurt? Is that you?" Blaine asked, feeling around in the darkness.

"NO! That's not Kurt, so please stop feeling me up!" David yelled.

Once they were all comfortable, (or as comfortable as possible), Thad let out a forced contented sigh. "This has been fun, guys."

"Don't you think?"

"Guys?"