"Never open the door to a lesser evil, for other and greater ones invariably slink in after it."
― Baltasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom
"I never wanted children with Lori."
"How about the other woman?"
"Lori was a few weeks pregnant already when we first got married. Before marriage, we discussed where we stood, and I made it clear I wasn't ready to have children. She agreed. Then come to find out she was pregnant..."
"How about the other woman?"
"I had met her in Spain. A week before my wedding. She had come with a friend who was dating a friend of mine who is also a friend of Lori's. I had met HER there. It was one night that turned into another, and so on. I was captivated by her. To me, she was the most amazing woman I would ever have the privilege to encounter. By morning she was gone."
"Unprotected sex is dangerous."
"I know. Tell me about it. She gave birth to a set of twins a month after my wife had our son."
"How did you find out she was pregnant, Rick?"
"I sought her out. I was angry at Lori. I felt duped. I used the excuse of her mood swings, sickness and constant need to sleep a reason to seek the other person. I still had her business card."
"You created a narrative to justify your actions." Dr. Deanna noted the nod he gave to her description of what men tend to do to rationalize cheating.
"I made an impromptu visit to her office. She's actually an attorney. She wasn't expecting me. We hadn't kept in contact since Spain. When she came from around her desk, I could tell that she was pregnant too."
"What did she tell you?"
"I mean, I was speechless. I got around to asking her and she nodded..."
Dr. Deanna hesitated in probing since he had his face concealed by his hands. By him doing this she noticed that his ring was missing from where it once was just a week ago.
"I never imagined this happening to me. It has been a screaming announcement to the world that I had unprotected sex outside my marriage. I have to accept for the next 18 years I will have to compete for attention and be thankful for any bit of affection spared. I didn't want that for my life. Not at first. Not going into a marriage. I wanted time to enjoy my wife and if in time my mind changed, our mind, then it was on the table. It didn't happen that way for me. I started drinking more than usual. Eventually, I ended up back in her office two months before she was due to offer any support she needed. Lori had given birth a few weeks later to our son Carl, and I was on standby for the birth of twins. I was there. I was there to provide for them and try to be in their lives as much as possible. There was nothing more going on between their mother and me at the time until something was going on between their mother and me."
"There is more than a parenting relationship?"
"More than I bargained for and more than I am willing to give up. I struggled with what I continued to do on the side and it became more frequent when Lori was pregnant again a few months after having our first child."
"This second pregnancy was unplanned as well?"
"For Lori, no. To Lori there is no such thing as unplanned pregnancy in a marriage. In Lori's mind, the only unplanned pregnancy was the birth of the twins."
