Chapter 8: Adventures in Sunagakure

As Naruto stepped through the arches, he felt as if some sort of invisible force was pulling him from all sides, and it was completely dark in there. Or maybe it was just so bright he had trouble seeing, because his eyes were stinging. All of a sudden, there was a sudden flash of bright light. Naruto blinked, his eyes watering. Okay, there was Temari, Gaara, Sakura, and Shikamaru, already there on the other side of the arch.

Ah, Vikki said to Naruto, eyeing the sand outside the window disdainfully. So this is the Sand. It's been a while...

Well of course it was the Sand! Would a village in the middle of the desert be called ocean? Of course not!

"Kazekage-sama, Temari-san," Baki said, one of the many people present in the room. "Welcome back from your mission."

"Don't think that I am staying," Gaara said. "This is a long term mission. I still have at least one more year."

"We understand," Baki said truthfully. "And things have been quite peaceful after you left, and saying this, I mean it in a not offending way. And, so long as you lay low, you should be safe from Akatsuki. Now, about your paperwork..."

"I understand. I'll finish it toni—"

"Ah, you misunderstand. Your assistant has been keeping your office clean. The only paperwork you have left are assigning missions to various shinobi that only you have the authority to rule over and...yes, that's all."

"...What assistant?"

"HI GAARA!" a voice said. Vikki jumped and fell out of Naruto's bag in surprise at the mere volume of a siren's voice. A very cheerful sounding siren.

Gaara twitched as he turned around. Fear slowed his movements. He knew who that voice belonged to...

"Gaara? Gaara-kun? Gaara-sama? Gaara-san? Gaara-kichi? Hellooooo?"

"Mikoto..." Gods no... It's her.

"So you did hear me! So do I have to call you 'Gaara-kichi' just to get your attention now...?"

"If you do, then I'll kill you."

"Ooh, that's not good for me then, is it? Aah, you're blushing from your nickname!"

"I am not."

"Well it would be funny if you were, Mr. I'm-too-cool-to-have-any-facial-expressions!"

Naruto gasped. Vikki grinned. He liked this girl. Naruto shook his head. Who on earth had the gall and the courage to stand up to Gaara? He turned around to look at the offender and—WHAT THE HELL?

There were TWO red heads in the room. Next to Gaara stood a girl with red hair of several different shades and dark marks around her eyes. Just...like...GAARA! Well, no wonder this person had enough courage to talk in such a friendly manner with Gaara. It practically WAS Gaara! Only her hair was a bit longer, but that was besides the point.

"Are you, like, Gaara's twin?" Naruto asked.

"Does Gaara have a fanclub?" Sakura wondered out loud. "Because even Sasuke's fanclub doesn't go around dressing up like him. Much." Gaara shuddered. All of hell would break loose the moment he had a fanclub.

"I'm Mikoto," the girl said cheerfully. "And no, I'm not dressing up like Gaara-kichi—"

"Don't call me that..."

"—I have nothing to do with sand—"

"Except you live in a sea, village, and country of it..."

"—and my sleeping and eating and talking patterns are perfectly normal!"

"If you call sleeping eighteen hours a day, eating four sugarloaded and, or, caffeinated meals during the six hours you're awake, and talking a hundred words a minute perfectly normal..."

"Mikoto is from a smaller village that is also in the desert," Temari said to them. "It's actually some sort of style there to wear thick eyeliner." (1)

"Really?" Naruto asked.

"Yup. It was so weird when 'Kuro, Gaara, and I went there," Temari said, shaking her head at the memory of it all. "It was like, a whole city of Gaara's. Minus the red hair of course. And darker skin. Most are blonds and brunettes."

"I'm abnormal!" Mikoto said cheerfully. "Even my mom and dad had black hair. But then, the twins before me were born with blond. And me red! Phenomenal, I know... It's cool." Right. This girl was not Gaara. Looked like him a bit. But not like him at all. Did that make sense?

"Don't you have a last name?" Shikamaru asked the girl.

She frowned, making some sort of twisted yet somewhat cheerful looking version of Gaara's angry scowl that wasn't really angry at all. Just annoyed. "No," she said stubbornly, crossing her arms in front of her in a very Gaara like style.

"Yes, she does," Temari said. "And it's Makoto."

"Really?" Shikamaru said, raising an eyebrow.

"Makoto?" Sakura repeated in disbelief.

"Makoto Mikoto!" Naruto exclaimed, laughing. Vikki seemed to be coughing up a furball. What was he, a cat?

"Yes, Mikoto's family has some sort of crazy affinity for 'M' names," Temari said, laughing.

"Temaaari! You told!" the girl said, debating whether to attempt to jump Temari or Naruto, who was laughing on the floor. Sakura giggled and Shikamaru just shook his head, wondering just what her parents were smoking when they had her. Mikoto decided on Naruto.

"Aaah!" Naruto cried as two sandaled feet met his face. "Midget!"

"Idiot!"

"Stupid girl-Gaara!"

"Dumb blond bastard!"

"I'll kill you!"

"I'll eat you!"

"..." No one said anything.

Mikoto frowned. "Did I just say that?"

Yes you did, Vikki replied, although Naruto was the only one who heard that.

Gaara sighed and shook his head. Turning to the other people in the room, he finally said something to them. "Have you anything to say?" he asked them. "If not, you're dismissed."

"Ah, Kazekage-sama," one of the people said as the others stood up from their bowing to leave. "We heard that you were killed by the Akatsuki."

"Ah, I see. Disappointed, Fuji?"

The man looked shocked. Perhaps at being discovered? "N-no, of course not, Kazekage-sama. I only wish for you and your safety."

"Well that's nice," Gaara said. "Is that all?"

"Y-yes, sir," the man said, bowing one more time and leaving.

"That wasn't very nice, Gaara," Sakura said as the last of them all left.

"When I was taken by Akatsuki, there was a discussion between the elders and elites. And the only reason I became the Kazekage was because they feared me, and they feared me because I am more powerful. Should the former Kazekage not have been killed, it would have been a unanimous vote against me because Temari and Kankurou are the only ones who would back me up."

"Hey, I like you too, Gaara-kichi!" Gaara's 'assistant' said. "I'd vote you for anything because I LOVE you sooooo much!" She waved her arms, as if trying to express her love for him in size. Not that big, actually.

"...Stop calling me that. And you don't matter because you aren't old or powerful."

"I could be old or powerful..." she said, pouting.

"Shikamaru, come on!" Temari said, pulling on his arm.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I told you to!" Temari said, dragging Shikamaru out of the room. His eye twitched.

"Mendokusei..."

Mikoto laughed. "Temari's showing off her boyfriend already!" she said. "And they just arrived!"

Like a puppy with her new toy. A really big, living, breathing toy that actually may enjoy being dragged around...

"Don't remind me," Gaara said, glaring at Shikamaru and Temari's rapidly shrinking figures as they left the office and passed by the window.

"Don't kill Shikamaru, Gaara," Naruto said nervously. "He's supposed to be a smart guy."

"I wouldn't kill him." No, of course not. He's stick him in a coffin of sand and 'bury' him alive in it. That would kill him. Gaara wouldn't.

"Where is Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked Gaara, changing the subject.

"How should I know?" Gaara replied. "I just got here."

"Hm, a report says that a Leaf lady with giant boobs is playing at the casino!" Mikoto said.

"Already?" Sakura gasped. "How long has she been here?"

"Hm...fifteen minutes. She went straight to the casino."

Sakura sighed and looked at Shikamaru.

"She's your kage," Gaara said.

"But it's your village. Don't you think you could just kick her out of the casino and send her straight here?"

"I could, but your Hokage may cause extensive damages to our buildings if we did so."

Naruto laughed. "Let's pick her up ourselves then!"

"Don't you need to register for the Chuunin exams?" Mikoto asked Naruto. "The deadline is in, like...thirty minutes."

"THIRTY MINUTES!"

"Sakura and I will get Tsunade," Gaara said. "Mikoto, you help Naruto register for the exams. And here." He gave her a slip of parchment from his gourd.

"Aye-aye, Kazekage-sama!" Mikoto said, saluting enthusiastically before running off with Naruto following behind.

"Where's the casino?" Sakura asked Gaara.

"Not to far. Sometimes at night I just go across the street and..." Why was he telling her this?

Sakura laughed. "I can see it under Sunagakure headlines: Underaged Kazekage Caught Gambling Illegally At Adult Casino," she said with a grin.

"Ah, the horrors of the paparazzi," Gaara muttered. "How I hate them oh so much."

"Yeah. There were always a whole bunch after Tsunade-sama, nagging her about her gambling problem and saying how her boobs weren't real, but it became old news after they realized that she didn't care, her boobs aren't that fake, and she's an old woman. And—"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOST?" someone inside the casino shouted.

"Oh no," Sakura said. She and Gaara ran towards the casino and saw Tsunade showing her ugly side (the one that wasn't an old woman, though).

"Tsunade-sama!" Sakura said as the fabled Rokudaime of Konoha flipped over a table. And threw it across the room. She turned around.

"Ah, Sakura," Tsunade said, as if nothing had happened.

"You shouldn't be gambling here!" Sakura chided. "You'll start having to borrow money from the Konoha treasury in a matter of days!"

"Are you saying I'm bad at gambling?" Tsunade asked her.

"Um...well..."

"I suppose that means yes," Gaara said.

"Ah, Kazekage!" Tsunade shouted as if she hadn't seen him. "Hi! It's good to see you in good condition. Or at least alive anyway. I see you're still the little freakish insomniac as before."

"I'll overlook that last comment," Gaara said stiffly. He kept on looking at Sakura, but not for any really specific reason. Other than to keep himself from looking at that Hokage's abnormally large breasts. Good god, were they really real?

"So, where is that blond idiot of a boy?" Tsunade asked them, looking around. "I thought he'd be here by now."

"My...that girl...I had a subordinate go with him to register."

"Hm, oh that Mikoto girl? She said she was your assistant."

"That's what she thinks. I don't have an assistant."

"Oh, well I heard other people saying she was your student," she said.

"She wouldn't stop interrupting my work until I accepted her as one," he replied.

"Your student?" Sakura repeated incredulously. She never knew Gaara had the patience for a girl like that. Sure, with her cheerful nature, it seemed that Mikoto could get along with anyone. But Gaara getting along with another person? Any other person? A person who acted like a girl Naruto, but looked like a girl Gaara? Odd.

"Yes... My...student," he said.

"What did she learn from you then?" Tsunade asked. "Surely she can't use sand the way you can."

"Not much," Gaara answered. "In fact, she better suited for Kankurou's kind of work."

"Puppets?"

"Not quite. Poison. Kankurou and I switched students, sort of. I got the older sister, god knows where she could be...and Temari's got the brother. Mariku has also been learning different types of poisons from things I've been sending them recently... The twin's will probably send back some merchandise. I give them equipment, they give me... free samples."

"Interesting," Tsunade said. "I wonder who's better, you're friends' poisoning or Sakura's healing."

"Let's not find out," Sakura said nervously. From all of the shinobi she had ever seen graduate from the Sand, she didn't want to pick a fight with any one of them, genin, chuunin, or anything.

"Right," Gaara said, "although we should keep a healthy amount of healers around here. Mikoto's going to be in the Chuunin Exams too."


"Hurry up, Naruto!" Mikoto said.

"Ah, but I'm hungry!" Naruto said. The first thing he had been planning on doing was to have a nice bowl of ramen once he got back. Instead, he was dragged across town by a girl in a rush to apply for the Chuunin Exams.

"Food can wait, we're here!"

"Mikoto?"

"Maruko?" Mikoto looked around and saw who was speaking. A girl with blond hair of different shades was sitting in a chair reading some magazine.

"Hi," the girl said. Maruko smiled, setting down some magazine. Daily Prophet? How did they get their hands on wizard magazines? Naruto grinned.

"Hey, what's with the fox?" the Maruko girl asked.


"Hm..." Jiraiya muttered, rubbing his head. The sand was still settling down. The wrecked walls of the bathhouse were in pieces on the ground, while a girl with a giant fan stood up straight, after decimating the bathhouse and several nearby buildings. "How to get out of this one...?"

That was the problem with women. They were like elephants. You look, but don't touch. You might like them as much as you want, but you don't want to have one. Nearby, a person coughed. A fellow peeping tom? Ah-ha! The solution to his problem! He grabbed the man and stuck him in his own place, effectively switching places.

"Y-you!" Temari said once the sand settled. A dazed looking blond man in loose clothing sat in front of the gates, looking around, as if wondering 'How on earth did I get here?' And he probably was.

"Temari?" the man said.

"Mariku?" Temari asked.

"Hi."

"...I thought you were straight!"

"I do like guys," this 'Mariku' said. Jiraiya frowned. That wasn't what 'straight' meant. Straight guys like girls.

"Then why were you peeking in the girls side?"

"I wasn't. Honestly," the young man said. "I had finished a mission and was sleeping with my eyes open on the benches to the side because Maruko's newest scent is a bit flammable so we have to stay out of the house until it airs out and then there was a lot of sand and somehow I am here. How did I get here?""

"Honestly, Mariku, are you clueless? That's outside the hotsprings, not inside. Come on. Shika-kun, this is Mariku, my student. Who's a bit older than me. But that's not what matters. What are we even doing, let's go inside."

"Temari." Jiraiya jumped as a wave of sand poured over the city and three people jumped down. The sand resettled itself back into the earth. "What's to go inside? You destroyed half of the bathhouse," a red haired boy said.

"Jiraiya..." Tsunade said in a scary voice. "Where aaaareee yooou?"

Jiraiya backed away.

"FOUND YOU, YOU PERVERTED IDIOT!" Tsunade screeched once she spotted him. She decked him and he flew forty feet away into another building, breaking yet another wall. Gaara sighed. The money! He was not going to pay for this.

"Hey, you!" a bystander shouted. "You destroyed the neighborhood!"

"Who's going to pay for the damages?"

"My house!"

Gaara groaned. Craaaaaap. He was going to kill someone. Preferably Temari.

"Ah...haha," Temari said nervously. "Sorry, 'bout this, Gaara."

"I'll forgive you if you pay for this."

"What? I don't have the money."

"Then too bad."

"But, you're the person who pays me! You have my money anyway! Why can't you pay?"

"You caused all the damages."

"No, that pervert did!"

"Then all is solved," Tsunade said. "The pervert pays."

"Is he still alive?" Sakura wondered, eyeing the body that was still in the building.

"Probably," Tsunade said, tying the unconscious Sannin. "Now let's run before they pin the blame on us kages. We're the ones with an actual name to uphold."

"Right," Gaara said as they left the scene of the crime.


Author's Note

Okay, this chapter is lacking any humor and point. This seriously irritates me, since I think I am starting to feel the effects of a writer's block. Gasp. Oh no! This can't be happening to me! Aaaaah! My god, this seriously sucks. It's just for this part of the fiction that i'm having the problems. I can't think of anything interesting to happen for the chuunin exams (yet. something will happen, but not at the beginning...) I think I'm just having problems going from leaving Hogwarts to first-day-back-in-the-Sand. Urgh...I just need a few ideas for throwaway characters. Kinda like the Sound nin. Useful only for giving others a fight, and then dying off or something. I am currently out of ideas for things to happen and it's barely a fourth of the length all of the other chapters. Also, I kinda had to add Jiraiya in here. Also for future use.


Later

"Sooo, Gaara-sama," Mariku said. "Finally back. I hadn't seen you since in the summer when you uh...died? And then you woke up. Of course, dead people often sit up straight, so I must ask you: are you alive?"

"Mariku...shut up."

"Sir, yes sir!" Mariku said with a salute.

"Sakura-san, Hokage-sama, this is Mariku, Kankurou's apprentice. She's a special jounin who specializes in poison. She and her brother, who is not a shinobi, both also supply me with equipment, which includes the basics, custom weapons, and specially-made clothes."

"The sticks and books Gaara-sama sent back to us were especially helpful," Mariku said to them cheerfully.

"Sticks and books?" Shikamaru repeated.

"Yes. He has sent us back sticks. At first, all they did was make sparks, and then he sent back an entire self-translated book for us to use and we started doing these strange 'jutsus'. Called spelling."

"Magic," Gaara correct. "Magic spells."

"Right," Mariku said sarcastically. "Then again... my brother and I did manage to pull a rabbit out of the hat...hm..."

"You translated an entire spell book?" Sakura asked Gaara.

"Several. I told you some time before, I have a lot of time on my hands," Gaara said.

Mariku grinned in excitement. With all of these new spells, their dreams were coming to life! She and her twin were getting closer.

"We already have new weapons of completely new caliber," she said ecstatically. 'Just wait 'til you see them! I have new metal gauntlets with strange protection on them. Completely impenetrable! But they also blow up on impact, but we're working on it... We also have something weird that we don't know what it does yet, but we do know it can change shape. Just not sure how it does though. And exploding shuriken and kunai! We also made another fan for Temari-san. A small gift. Not as durable, but much easier to control. And—"

"Mariku-san, if we let you finish listing your inventory, then we'll be stuck here all day long," Gaara said impatiently. "Naruto and Mikoto should be finished registering already if Mikoto hasn't gone off on yet another adventure. She's too much like you."

"I'd say, she's just enough, really," Mariku insisted, continuing forward with the others. "You can't ever be too much like me, you know!"

Temari laughed, shaking her head. "Ah, and I suppose that if all girls turned into guys, you'll be in heaven."

"Ah, yes, me and a city of men. That's the advantages of living in a shinobi village, you know?" Mariku said in a dazed, wistful voice. "That's why I moved here in the first place actually. Guys...really really really hot guys who aren't all out of shape... Mm..." Mariku's eyes went glazed over as she continued to daydream. Tsunade, Sakura, and Gaara sweatdropped and backed away.

"Mariku!" someone shouted.

"Ah, that would be Maruko," Mariku said, snapping out of her daydreams back to the present.

"Wow, that's your sister?" Sakura said as Naruto, Mikoto, and a girl with long blond hair approached them.

Shikamaru made a face. That girl... something was off. Not quite right. Not quite a girl. Wait, no, she was definitely probably a girl. Just a girl with 'essence of boy'.

"Mikoto? Yeah, how'd you know?" Mariku asked. "We look nothing alike. Her hair's all red. We have no idea where it came from though..."

"Um...no, I already know who she is. I was talking about the other girl."

"The blond one in orange?" Mariku shouted, looking shocked. "No! I don't know him! I'm sorry... her? Honestly, we're both blonds, but I am sooo not related to that guy. Girl. Whoa."

"No, that's my friend Naruto," Sakura said, sweatdropping. "I was talking about the girl with long hair, walking behind them... You know, the one without the hitai-ate?"

Neither of the two younger shinobi in front had long hair, and they were running ahead. Gaara didn't say anything. His head was bent forward, covered by his hand. He was either silently groaning with a headache from his companions' stupidity or hiding a small smirk. Mariku frowned.

"When you say...long hair...walking behind them...and no hitai-ate, you wouldn't be talking about Maruko, would you?"

"Um...yes, if that's her name," Sakura said.

"That... is my brother."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS PLACE?" Jiraiya cried.

"Where'd you come from?" Tsunade said, quite sure that she had tied him and left him for the crowds before leaving. Jiraiya ignored her, continuing to rant.

"MY GODS, A SHINOBI VILLAGE WHERE THE GUY TWIN LOOKS LIKE A GIRL AND THE GIRL LIKE A GUY!" he raved. "This—this is insane! It's crazy! It's abnormal! How come this 'Maruko' is sooo much hotter than his own sister? And I'm a man! I...I can't stand this...!"

Mariku scowled. "Who's hotter than who...?" she repeated, a glint in her eyes.

"You are very beautiful in a tomboyish way," Jiraiya whimpered.

Sakura sighed. Mariku wasn't too bad off. She could go both ways, just looking like a very feminine guy or a tomboy girl. "It's true," she laughed.

"So, sister," Maruko said, flipping HIS long, braided hair. "You're back."

"I'm hotter than you," the GIRL twin muttered.

"...Excuse me?"

"Naruto, what's wrong with you?"

"M-Maruko kissed me."

"Hey, you liked it."

"And then I found out you were a guy!"

"And you didn't notice before?"

"What were you kissing Maruko for Naruto!" Sakura demanded, grabbing her friend by the neck. Now, two years ago, this wouldn't have matter. Naruto might have choked, but he wouldn't die. Now, he saw spots. Pretty colors...

"I couldn't help it," Naruto protested. I finished registering, Maruko got this funny evil look in her—HIS! His eyes! And then he leaned forward and kissed me!"

Maruko, Mikoto, and Mariku laughed. Everyone else turned their attention to Maruko, obviously awaiting his explanation.

"The cameras. I take pictures of people's reaction when they find out I'm a guy," Maruko shrugged with a smirk growing on his face. It got bigger...and bigger...and bigger, until it finally turned into a big grin and a laugh.

"Maruko keeps a scrapbook of how new people react to him," Mikoto explained. "Mariku does the same. They started it just a few months ago and are trying to find out whose victims get more freaked out. Maruko's winning by, like, forty people."

"Forty?" Gaara repeated. "I am glad you did not start when I had first met you."

"Oh believe me," Mariku said. "We were definitely thinking about it, when you had first came to the village."

"And then we heard about all the people you killed before, and decided 'Nah, better not risk it'," Maruko added.

"You guys are...so weird..." Naruto groaned. He shuddered at the memory. Two consecutive kisses with GUYS! Oh no! That was it. Naruto was just cursed. Well, at least this guy looks like a girl... But...that made it even weirder!

"That's alright, Naruto," Sakura joked, patting the poor, despondent boy on the back. "You might be scarred for life, but we'll still laugh at you like always!"

"You're so mean, Sakura..." Naruto whined.

Gaara sighed. "Alright, now that the deadline's up, I have to go through all of the applications by tomorrow morning."

"Oh come on," Mikoto complained. "You just got here!"

"Yeah, and Ino gave me a mission!" Naruto said.

"I could care less, I suppose."

"Please, Gaara?" Sakura said. "Last time we came here, it wasn't very fun..."

"Let's go," Gaara said.

"Yay! The Kazekage himself is taking us shopping!" Mikoto said, jumping up and down.

"And people say I'm irresponsible," Tsunade said.

"Well, you did almost completely use up the Konoha treasury," Sakura said.

"There was still some money left," Tsunade protested. "Anyway, I suppose the kage's meeting can wait. This is a once in a lifetime chance, after all."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not everyday a scary guy like you gets escorted by three and a half young ladies," she said with a wink. Half? Oh, she meant Maruko... He'd rather spend the day without anyone. Except maybe Sakura.

Gaara shook his head free of the thoughts. Well, this was the perfect time to...how did Temari put it again? To make amends. Yup. Temari always told him, he never really 'properly apologized' to them for nearly destroying Konoha. But then again, he did save their sorry selves when they fought the Sound Four and Kimimaro. Wasn't that 'sorry' enough? Honestly, Temari just didn't get it. He practically already said it!

"Whatever," he said.

"Alright!" Naruto grinned. "Ino said if we got good enough kimonos for everyone, she'll fix Lee!"

"Fix him...?" Gaara asked.

"As in pretty him up!" Sakura said gleefully. "I really wonder what she could actually do with him though..."

Gaara shuddered at the thought of a mix of Lee and Sasuke. Gods no... Even if she could possibly fix his face, his attitude was irreparable. Too much exposure to Gai, probably.

He shrugged. "I also have a list from Kankurou. He's running out of makeup," Gaara said. "And he also needs a few pieces from your shop," he said to Maruko.

"Puppet parts? I thought Kuroari and the others were fine," Maruko said.

"They broke?" Naruto asked.

"When he went after Sasori and Deidara and me, he got beat up and his puppets broke," Gaara explained. "So once I got back, Kankurou and I put them back together. Actually, I did it. But we still ended up with extra pieces that we didn't know what to do with." (2)

"Oh, cool," Sakura said. "You actually assembled it without a manual or anything?"

"They don't come with manuals."

"Wow, you're pretty good with your hands then."

"Sand."

"Same difference," Sakura laughed, flipping her hair. It seemed she was keeping it short. Personally, he liked it longer. And then she could tie it back and look a bit more mature and... whatever.

"Where to first?" Naruto asked.

"Cosmetics store," Gaara said.

"Kankurou goes to a cosmetics store and he still says it's not makeup?" Shikamaru asked.

"Yes..."

"He's in denial," Temari said, shaking her head sadly.

Naruto gasped when he entered the first stop. This...this wasn't just any cosmetics store. This was some sort of merchant-gone-mad designed store! Half of it was filled with light, bright, neon pink colors. The other half was dark and...just plain weird. "What is this junk?" Naruto asked them, leaning close to a row of black shades.

Shikamaru looked at the labels Naruto was reading. "Hm...there's black, dark black, cosmic black, dark hole black, coal black...hell, this place is crazy. They're all the same!" he said. The owner of the shop raised an eyebrow.

"Ignore them, sir," Gaara ordered. The man's eyes widened. Kazekage!

"Ah, Kazekage-sama, to what do I owe the pleasure of having you today? You must be wanting to hide the circles around your eyes," he said, excited by the thought that the Kazekage himself had chosen this very store to shop for makeup.

"No, not really," Gaara said expressionlessly. Mikoto, Temari, and Sakura were cracking up behind the counter. "My brother Kankurou. You know him."

"Ah yes, my biggest customer," the man said.

"He made an order a week or two ago. Has it come in?" Gaara asked.

"Ah, yes, the Kabuki Face Paint Set Version 9.0! Complete with eight shades of black, four shades of white, two shades of purple, the primary and basic colors, all of the colors of the rainbow, and everything in between!" the man said cheerfully.

"Rainbow...?" Sakura repeated. Temari snorted.

"How much?" Gaara asked.

"Hey!" Naruto said. "I want this one!" He pointed at two colors. Pasty White and Coal Black.

"Don't tell me you're getting into this business too, Naruto," Sakura moaned.

He grinned. "Hehehe...this is going to be awesome..." he said deviously. It seemed Naruto didn't hear her. She hit him in the head, knocking in into the ground and causing a crack.

"Sixty percent off if you wear this," the owner of the store said, holding up a flyer. SABURO'S FACEPAINT AND COSMETICS STORE.

"On what?" Gaara asked him, looking a bit confused. What, did the man just expect him to staple a flyer onto his forehead or something?

"I don't know, your gourd or something."

"My gourd is made of sand."

"Um...I know that, sir."

"Do I look like a walking advertisement to you?"

"No...but you could."

"I'll do it!" Naruto said, jumping up and down. Sakura laughed. Gaara shook his head and took the paper, pinning it onto his gourd. Why the hell was he doing this anyway? Because with all of the bills that the Makotos had sent to him, he was down to only half of what he had before? Yes. Probably yes. Not because of Sakura or anything. He just didn't like being second richest in the Wind Country. Naruto bought his own kabuki makeup and left with the others.

"Our place next!" Maruko said enthusiastically as his sister pumped her fists in the air. They ran through a door (literally), jumped behind the cash register, and put on their best merchant face. "Welcome!"

Gaara frowned. "You guys are idiots."

"What would you like to purchase today?" Mariku asked enthusiastically, overlooking Gaara's previous comment. "Puppet parts, poison, or other equipment?"

"Daft. That's what you guys are. Daft," he said, shaking his head. Temari grinned. "Kankurou wants the things listed here."

Mariku took the paper. "...Ah, a bird type puppet, eh? These parts he is requesting aren't very specific. What type is puppet does he want? There are several types of bird puppet parts that he could have. There's the fighter, an information gatherer, a defender, capture, and stealth. Of course, none manually made are exactly alike, but they often share similar properties. There are seven types of talons, three main bodies, five kinds of wings, an assortment of 'skin', sometimes eyes, and a whole bunch of other stuff. Do you know what this means, Kazekage-sama?" Mariku asked him.

"No."

"You're going to make us filthy rich!" Maruko crowed.

Sabaku Kyuu! Sand wrapped itself around the twins.

"Yikes!" Mariku yelped. "A joke, a joke! We know you helped pay the bills for damage, Kazekage-sama! I wasn't going to charge you! Much. Advertise for our store and it's free!" Sakura laughed. She held up a hand-drawn sign of a two puppets fighting each other, one emitting smog from its mouth and another wielding strange weapons.

"Stick figures," Gaara muttered, looking at the crayon-colored images.

"Well what do you expect, I drew it in five seconds. That makes it quite the masterpiece if you ask me. Or some sort of record," she grinned. "Okay, you leave on the nineth, right? I'll have everything assembled by then. Kankurou probably wants to try putting it together himself, but we all know how badly that would go. Now, let's go to the next stop!"

"Whatever, I'm staying!" Maruko announced, his eyes bright with glee. He clapped his hands together. Another masterpiece in making! He was a truly devoted salesmen. After all, devoted and obsessed... they're almost the same thing, right? "Out, out, out," he said. "I can't work with distractions. Yes, you too, sisters. Out!"

And the Kazekage was shoved out of the shop. Recovering his dignity, he stood up, but didn't bother to brush the sand of his clothes, as they were already getting rid of themselves.

"Your brother is mad," Gaara said.

"I know," Maruko said. "Sometimes, he switches personalities like that. What next?"

"Oh, Ino and the others want kimonos!" Naruto said.

"Oooh, shopping for kimono! I want to too!" Mikoto said.

Gaara groaned inside. It seemed that today, he wasn't a Kazekage. He was a freaking escort and a living, breathing wallet! "I don't want to," he said in a low voice. No one heard him, as he wasn't speaking very loudly.

"Let's go!" Sakura said. Gaara sighed and followed after her.

"What time is it, anyway?" he asked Mikoto.

"Um...six or seven," she answered. "Why?"

"I have Kages-only meeting at nine," Gaara said. Mikoto opened her mouth. "You're not invited," he said sternly. "Find something to amuse yourselves and keep Sakura company. And Naruto. And Temari. And her boyfriend. And...anyone else who is not a kage but is tempted to latch on to me and follow me into the meeting."

"Aw..."


Author's Note

(bows on the ground) Please forgive my lowly soul for this junk! I've been working on this for days in almost all of my spare time! ANd it was horrible! A nightmare! I couldn't think of anything fo rhtem to do and when i did finally think up of something, it was hard transitioning it from one situation to another. Sooo... Gaara is now half butler half human wallet. Odd, yes? But I suppose that you may notice that whenever Gaara wants to refuse them, Sakura will say something and he'll miraculously change his mind and agree with them.

Alright, finally done. I need an idea for weapons. Please no swords. And if you are going to suggest a sword, maybe one that changes length or something. Something kinda unique, you know? Anyway, I'm trying to think up of something new as weapons the shinobi can fight with. I already have a basic idea of what kind of weapons they could use and best suits them, but for some characters, I am lacking clear thoughts. Suggestions will help. I might not use them all or at all, but it'll help me think. Pleeeaaaasse?

Mariku: Japanese version of the name "Malik", which is probably a name for a guy...but oh well. Means either king or queen (in this case, King, since it ends in a U and not an A.)
Maruko: Japanese version of the name "Marco", definitely a name for a guy, but a bit plain compared to Malik. Means warrior, the opposite of what he is.

Mariku is actually the girl twin. She dresses like the guy. A feminine guy. Likes experimenting techniques, even if it is in the middle of battle. As I am typing this, it reminds me of Naruto. Maruko is her boy counterpart. A guy who looks like a girl. Like Naruto in Sexy no Jutsu form. He's lazy, always sleepy, and likes to sleep. And he also likes to sunbathe. While he sleeps. I wanted to make them in their early twenties, but then I realized it would badly match them, since Kankurou and Temari were only supposed to be a little younger. Making them twenty would be like a five year difference. No. So now, they must be seventeen. Like all other characters... Mariku is a special jounin. What's so special about her? Uh...you'll find out. Maruko is not even a ninja. He's more like a merchant. Whom Gaara often finds himself giving death threats to help out on missions, since he has no life, attracts no customers, and makes no effort to do things. He's kinda like Shikamaru. Only not smart. A lazy bum.
Mariku and Maruko sell things... mostly shinobi equipment, and a few custom items. They also supply Kankurou with the poison for his puppets, but they're working on a new product that's easier to make. Because, first of all, it has to take a lot of effort to make some kind of poisonous smoke. Something Maruko does not have. So, what's small, possible poisonous, and easy to bottle up? You'll see. In the chuunin exams.

Mikoto is the youngest. She basically gets things from her older brother and sister. She's unoriginal.

Anyway, the two twins are actually sort of a inner joke between me and... another person who might not even be reading these, but what the hey, who cares? When I was thinking those bishounen characters. No, Maruko and Mariku are not homosexual, although I have nothing personal against gay people (correction: yes, I do. WHAT IS IT THAT HOMOSEXUALS HAVE THAT I DON'T! j/k, haha) Just being random. Anyway. there is always a character in an anime that looks the opposite sex. Haku (Naruto!), Amano Makoto (W Juliet), Violet (Mars), etc. I'm just having fun confusing people, and so are the Makoto Twins! They switch places randomly when Mariku uses genjutsu and stuff.


(1) I know, I know, Mikoto sounds like a Gaara wannabe, but that's how I thought up her character. I was just thinking all Egyptian style like, but only no gold. More like cotton. The thing is, the Egyptians wore thick eyeliner to help block the sun. I'm not sure how it would really work unless you stick it in your eye, but yeah... Anyway, I was thinking about this character, but once I started typing it and reading it over, I'm like, what the hooter? She's a Gaara! Weird, I know...

(2) Yeah, that happens to me a lot. Like when I put my desk together... I had something that must have been an extra piece of drawer. And when I was playing with Legos... Half the pieces weren't used. My puzzles... Odd. Then again, I force the pieces together so the pictures wrong anyway... Kinda sad.