Chapter 8
They had been travelling for a few days now. They walked mostly through the woods, spending the nights camping or, if they were lucky, in an empty cabin or house they found along the way.
They were heading in the direction of the camp Emma and Noah came from. They didn't know exactly where they were, but they couldn't be far off.
Maura felt their losses weighing heavy on them. They felt the pain of the empty space left by Frost. Along with Emma, they carried the loss of Noah. The insecurities made Maura tired. Wondering what happened to her parents in Paris, her sister Cailin, Jane's family and their friends at BPD… She tried not to think about it. But she felt the losses; she felt the grief.
Maura held on to the newfound hope in Jane's eyes. They had a new purpose; finding Jane's family. Finding their family. She held on to the never-ending love she felt for her girlfriend. She held on to the new love she had developed for Emma.
She saw that Emma was having a hard time. Maura was used to Jane's quick pace, but the 15-year old girl wasn't. She was exhausted, still pained by everything she's been through. They both became very fond of the girl, she felt like family.
But she was getting tired; she couldn't take this much longer.
Jane was walking a few steps ahead of Maura and Emma, making her way through the woods. They were sweaty and tired. The trees gave them shelter and shadow, but the sun was still burning. She saw the bones sticking out of Jane's back, she saw Emma's sunken cheeks, and she noticed her own curves disappearing. It was getting tough.
Maura ran a few steps, getting next to Jane while Emma stayed a few steps behind.
"Jane, we have to rest for a while. You're going too fast for her." Maura said softly.
Jane looked back, seeing the girl panting, looking exhausted. She looked around. "We'll stop over there, by those trees."
Maura looked at Jane and saw the focused look in her beautiful dark eyes. "I know you want to find your family as fast as possible, Jane. We're doing everything we can."
"I know you do." Jane answered.
Maura stood still, catching up with Emma. She put her hand on the girl's back. "We'll take a break soon."
"It's okay" Emma answered, "I can keep going. Jane doesn't want to stop."
"No, but I do." Maura said, smiling at Emma.
When they reached the group of trees, Maura guided Emma to sit down against a big tree while Jane made sure the area was safe.
As soon as Emma sat down, Maura heard the snarling sound of a walker.
"I'll get him." Jane said, running towards the monster. She kicked the walker on the ground, stabbing her knife in its head. When she pulled her knife out of the monster's brain, she walked around the area, carefully listening for more. It was quiet.
But the quietness didn't take long. Walkers aren't usually by themselves. They travel in herds, looking for fresh meat. And there it was. There must have been at least 30 of them. Awful, gross looking monsters heading towards them.
Maura grabbed Jane's wrist and pointed in the direction of the herd. Jane turned around. "Shit." She said. "We have to go. Now!"
"Emma!" Jane called the girl sitting against the tree. Maura helped her up and they started running, the herd of monsters following them.
Walkers aren't fast, but in a group like that it's impossible to kill them. There were simply too many of them. They had no choice but to run for their lives.
They ran through the forest as fast as they could. Walkers came from everywhere. They stabbed the ones that were getting too close and ran.
Maura didn't know for how long they were running. They had to get out of that forest but it seemed to go on forever. She felt the air burning in her lungs, her legs hurt and her heart raced.
"This way!" Jane panted. "I see something, I think it's the edge of the forest."
Maura followed, but when she looked around to see if Emma was keeping up with them, she heard the girl scream. "NO!"
A walker had caught up to her and had slammed her to the ground. In a flash Jane was next to her, kicking the walker off of her and stabbing the monster in the brain.
"It hurts" Emma whimpered.
Maura kneeled next to the girl. "Did it bite you?"
"No, no, I-I twisted my foot or something. I don't know, it hurts."
"We have to go!" Jane said.
Maura saw the herd approaching fast. "Emma, can you walk?"
The girl tried to stand up but flinched as soon as she put weight on her left leg. She started crying. "No-no, it hurts!"
"Come on, jump on my back!" Jane took Emma on her back, carrying her, running as fast as she could with the extra weight.
Maura ran in front of them, kicking and stabbing walkers that were getting too close. She felt the exhaustion; her body was starting to give up. With every step it was getting more difficult to lift her legs. But she had to. She had to make it. She had to be around to see this nightmare ending.
Suddenly she felt solid ground beneath her feet. They had reached a highway. She looked at her girlfriend, panting and sweating while she carried the still crying girl. Emma was holding on to Jane for dear life.
"Come on sweetie, just a little more." Maura panted.
She looked around and saw that they had created a good head start on the herd.
"Look!" Emma said suddenly. "A car! Over there!"
Maura looked in the direction she was pointing and saw a green pickup truck in the middle of the road. "Oh thank god," she whispered. "Please let it work."
When they reached the truck, Jane put Emma down in the backseat. Maura saw a key in the ignition; the owners must have been forced to get out of it quickly. She tried to start the engine. The truck sputtered but didn't start. "Shit." In a flash Jane had opened the hood and starting checking wires.
Maura looked at Emma in the backseat and saw the herd of walkers approaching. It was unlikely that the herd could take down this truck, but it was still vital that they got the car going.
"Maura, try again!" She heard Jane say from under the hood.
She turned the key and after a small sputter, she heard the engine start.
Jane closed the hood and jumped behind the wheel while Maura ran around to sit next to her.
Jane took off with immense speed, increasing the distance between them and the herd.
They drove in silence for a long time, still panting and trying to regulate their breathing.
"I think we shook them off." Maura said. "Do you think it's safe to stop here? I need to check out Emma's foot."
"Just a little further." Jane kept focusing on the road.
Maura turned around in her seat to look at Emma. "How's the pain?"
Emma looked at Maura. Her skin looked pale, her eyes were read from crying and she was soaked with sweat. "It's alright as long as I don't move." She said quietly.
"It's going to be okay sweetie." Maura said in a soothing voice.
"I can't walk Maura. It doesn't make any sense for you to drag around a random girl who can't even walk. I'm slowing you down." Emma said, looking out of the window.
"First of all, you're not just a random girl." Jane said. "And secondly: yeah it does make sense. We said we'd take care of you didn't we? I don't like to break promises."
Maura saw tears forming in Emma's eyes.
It surprised Maura how much you can start to care about someone in just a few weeks.
Emma had confided in Jane and Maura, trusting them with her stories and her life. She was raised by her single father, he got attacked by walkers a few months ago. She had an older brother who lived in New York. She had no idea what happened to him. She ran off with Noah. When she lost Noah, she lost everything. And here she was, sitting in the backseat with Jane and Maura, on the road to find a family she didn't even know. Maura admired the girl. She kept going, no matter what. For a 15-year old, she was extremely strong.
When Maura saw Emma's face she climbed out of her seat to sit next to her, brushing her sweaty hair back.
"Jane is right. You're not some random girl." Maura smiled sweetly at Emma. "Honey, look at me." She met with clear blue eyes. "You're helping us find our family."
She wiped the tears off the Emma's cheeks. "Talk to me Emma."
Emma looked at her hands in her lap, breaking eye contact. "I'm scared."
"Why?" Maura asked gently.
Emma spoke softly, almost a whisper. "You'd be so moving much faster without me. But I don't stand a chance out here on my own. I trust you, I really do. It's just… I'm only 15. I'm not strong enough to kill walkers and I'm not as fast as you are. I'm…" her voice broke, tears falling from her eyes. "I'm afraid you'll leave me."
Maura felt tears coming up, her throat tightening. "Oh honey." She said while she wiped her own tears away. "I'm so sorry we ever gave you that feeling, Emma."
"You didn't, it's not your fault. It's just something I make up in my head." Emma said.
"Things you make up in your head aren't real, Emma." Jane said. She had slowed down the car a little, trying to find a safe place to stop.
"Sweetheart, I want you to listen to me very carefully." Maura looked deep into the girl's eyes. "We're not leaving you. I promise."
"Yeah, you're stuck with us now, baby." Jane said, smiling.
Emma showed a slight smile.
"You're not just some girl we met a few weeks ago." Maura brushed Emma's hair back and kissed her forehead. "You're my girl. Our girl. I'm not letting you go anywhere."
"Unless you want to go of course, I don't want you to think we're keeping you hostage or anything." Jane joked, trying to defuse the tension. She had moved off the highroad, driving on a small bumpy road.
Emma smiled but the tears kept falling down her cheeks. The girl looked at them, her eyes showing disbelief. She wasn't used to the kind of motherly love Jane and Maura offered her. "I want to stay with you."
"Good. Because I don't really want you to go anywhere." Maura responded. "You're with us now."
Emma laughed, wiping her tears away.
Maura felt tiny arms wrap around her neck. She squeezed the girl tight, kissing the top of her head. "It's okay, my girl." She said quietly. They held each other for a moment, getting lost in their thoughts. As Maura broke the embrace she said: "I really have to take a look at your foot now. Jane, can we stop?"
"Yeah, this is a good place." Jane drove into a small lane and turned off the engine.
Maura made Emma lay down in the backseat while she examined the girl's ankle. She mumbled a lot of medical terms, explaining what she saw. The ankle was extremely swollen and bruised. Emma flinched with every small touch.
"Is she okay?" Jane asked, placing a hand on Maura's lower back.
"She will be. It's a distortion in the anterior inferior tibiofobular ligament. It looks bad now, but it'll heal."
Jane looked at her girlfriend with a blank face, making clear that 'anterior inferior tibiofobular ligament' was not part of her vocabulary.
"A sprained ankle." Maura cleared up. "She'll be okay, but she needs rest."
She turned to Emma. "You can't put weight on it and try not to move too much. Your muscles need rest to heal."
"We have to go on by car." Jane said, looking out on the lane they were parked.
Maura got up and looked at her girlfriend. "It'll be okay Jane. We'll avoid the biggest main roads, we can do it."
She looked at Emma, who was laying down in the backseat, clearly exhausted. She had a hard time keeping her eyes open.
"Get some rest, honey. Try to keep your foot lifted." Maura said. She smiled at Emma. "It's okay."
She softly squeezed Emma's leg as the girl closed her eyes, too tired to respond.
Maura looked at her girlfriend who was leaning against the front of the car. She walked over and put her hand on Jane's arm.
Jane wrapped her arms around Maura, hugging her close to her chest. Maura leaned eagerly into the embrace, enjoying the familiar feel of her girlfriend.
They let silence fall in. They couldn't find words. They didn't need them. They almost lost each other today, again. It was exhausting to fight for your own life. It was even more exhausting to fight for the lives of the people you love.
"I don't know where we are." Jane whispered, still hugging the doctor.
Maura immediately knew what Jane meant. She had noticed the problem herself. They ran for a long time without knowing in which direction they were going. They had driven for almost an hour, also not knowing where they were going. They were completely off track. Maybe even too far to find it again.
"What if we never find them?" Maura heard tears in Jane's voice.
She tenderly kissed Jane's lips. "We'll find them Jane."
Maura felt Jane letting her go, moving her hands into her own lap. "What if we don't, Maur?" Jane looked at her, tears filling her eyes. "What if we never find them?"
Maura tried to find words to soothe her girlfriend; she tried to tell her it was all going to be okay. But she couldn't. She rested her hand against Jane's cheek. "We're still together, Jane." Maura said softly. "That's all I have." She wiped Jane's tears away with her thumb. "I'm not going anywhere."
Jane buried her head in the crook of Maura's neck while Maura hugged her close. "I love you Maur." Jane mumbled.
"I love you too." Maura answered softly, stroking Jane's back. "My love."
They stayed like that for a long time, at loss for words. They had no idea how to continue the search. They were inescapably lost.
A/N Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm very excited about this story, so I'd love to hear what you think. Where would you like to see this story going? Feedback is greatly appreciated! (Also, English is not my native language so I apologize for any mistakes.)
