You know what I would find hilarious? If Jenny realises it was Halt or Crowley or someone smiling at her...
...too bad, we all know its Gilan.
At least it's good to know both characters have their thoughts in this chapter! :)
By the way, I love writing fluffy chapters.
Chapter 8:
|| Harmony ||
xxx
After her immediate shock, Jenny quickly composed herself. She walked purposefully back to her place, a small smile on her face to mask her emotions, while she levelled her gaze so she couldn't meet his.
As she passed him, Gilan's smile faltered at her indifference to him.
He was sure she had seen him and recognised him.
Did she really not care?
Gilan turned, pretending to listen to what the Baron was suggesting to his wife and the rest of their table end, but at the same time he kept glancing down the table while not making it obvious.
Jenny avoided looking to her right, concentrating fiercely on her parchment while the other apprentices around her appreciated it more than she.
She was very glad for the distraction, as Chubb returned to his seat beside her, enthusing about her win and her possible future at Redmont.
She decided to enjoy her victory for now, putting all her thoughts into cooking and Chubb's praise.
It was short lived, because Gilan stood and excused himself, letting his voice be loud enough to carry to her.
She, alongside the rest of the apprentices, couldn't help but acknowledge him.
Jenny felt as if a cold hand clutched her heart when she finally met his expression that was filled with sadness and confusion.
Looking down quickly, her face flushed from frustration or anger, she couldn't tell.
She was annoyed at herself for forgetting that Gilan was the Meric Fief Ranger. Of course Redmont had heard of the success of rescuing the Skandian leader, as well as from Alyss and Will.
Jenny felt like a fool, letting her work and apprenticeship as a chef overpower her feelings for Gilan, so she had completely forgotten about him. She had been so absorbed in her work at Redmont that she had thought little of anything but cooking for the past month.
Although she had promised to stay now at Redmont with Chubb for a bit longer, Jenny had been planning on opening up her own restaurant since she knew she was approaching graduation. Her savings were enough and her reputation and flair for cooking would be a great starter to get customers.
But all this thought had left little to no room for anything else. Alyss, confined to the castle for the past month with not much to do in her field of work, had barely seen Jenny no matter how bored she had been. Least of all, Gilan had not been a part of her thoughts at any point.
Jenny cleared her mind, refusing the tears that threatened to spill out.
Gilan must have felt betrayed as she had walked past him without a flicker of recognition.
She placed her hands in her lap, hiding the fact that she kept clenching and unclenching them.
Jenny thought about leaving and finding him. She wouldn't know where to start though, the only places she could find here were the kitchens and her sleeping quarters.
Besides, as the winner, it would be terribly rude to leave while the night was still young. There would be one more course of supper with tea and coffee before everyone headed off.
Jenny inwardly huffed in frustration.
It seemed that after an eternity of compressed impatience, the Baron finally announced the end to the day's festivities and the competition.
There were many thanks to Chef Bartleby who took the praise in good measure, bowing modestly, as well as the contestants; another round of applause for Jenny, and Meric's own apprentices, who served the contestants their food.
It would be long before the entire castle fell to sleep, due to the villagers outside.
Everyone at the table was dismissed and could leave at their free will to retire to bed.
Jenny felt a rush of relief run through her, as Paul and the Whitby girl stood and stretched.
She felt a tug at her right sleeve and glanced down to see Chubb's face clearly displeased with the idea of her leaving.
'The Baron wishes to speak to you.' He told her quietly.
Jenny shrugged and resigned herself to her fate. She couldn't tell the Baron otherwise.
Chubb lead her to the head of the table where the Battlemaster was preparing to leave. Chubb and Jenny gave a respectful nod as they took their seats.
It took her a moment to register that she was sitting in Gilan's spot.
A shiver of fear and guilt washed over her.
'Miss Jennifer, that was some fine food you served us this evening...' began the Baron. But Jenny was already tuning out, groaning silently at the thought of Gilan, betrayed and hurting.
It came to a point where Jenny was feeling herself lose consciousness with her thoughts and troubles that she had to shake herself awake. She followed this with a yawn, then realising that the Baron was waiting for a response.
'Oh... I'm sorry my Lord...' Chubb gave her a curious glance as she winced at her disrespect.
But the Baron was a kind man and gave a hearty chuckle.
'No, I believe it's my fault. I didn't think how tired you would be after today. You may leave, sorry to keep you waiting. But I would appreciate it if you would see me in the morning.'
Jenny stood and bowed politely to the Baron and Chubb.
As she made her way to the Hall's great doors, she heard Chubb enthusing about her talent while he and the Baron shared a drink.
She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face.
Free from the table and able to let her thoughts and emotions wander, Jenny felt much better.
She thought joyfully at the consequences of winning and the boost to her reputation it would give. Everyone here now knew of her cooking prowess, and when she opened her restaurant they would be able to give legitimate praise of her skills.
Jenny couldn't help adding a skip to her step as she made her way back to her room.
The room she was assigned to sleep in was much smaller than her room at Redmont, but she at least didn't have a roommate. Even being naturally charismatic, Jenny would have found sleeping in the same room as a rival contestant stressful and full of unwanted tension.
She had only a small desk with a mirror for herself, while her luggage lay on in their bags on the floor. She hadn't bothered unpacking her meagre amount of clothing for a small trip like this.
A familiar light blue dress was peaking though the gap in her bag. Jenny grinned and pulled it out, changing into it and feeling the relief of being in a less formal dress.
Jenny let down her hair and brushed it rhythmically. Usually she kept her hair mid-length so the curls were more prominent. But now her hair glowed with its gold hue and she admired the length, deciding not to cut it when she returned to Redmont. The curls were weak so they added a nice wave to her hair.
Her thoughts wandered to where she would place her parchment when she returned.
Jenny winced when she tore the brush from her hair.
She had left her parchment in the Hall!
She growled, placing the brush back on the desk and glad she had changed into something comfortable, not inappropriate.
Chubb would probably still be in the Hall, but if he was, he would still be enjoying the wine and be unreliable.
Deciding she would have to take matters into her own hands, Jenny sighed and pulled open her door.
And before it stood Gilan, with her parchment safe and secure within his grasp.
'You...' she breathed. 'How did you find my room?'
Immediately she mentally slapped herself.
The first thing she had said to him in over a month and she sounded so rude!
Gilan looked taken aback by her question as well. But he recovered quickly and answered in a levelled voice, 'I know this castle from the inside out. I found this-,' he waved her certificate around to show her, '-when I went back to speak to the Baron. Chubb told me your room number.'
He handed over the parchment, allowing a small, familiar smile creep onto his face.
Jenny took it gingerly, unable to meet his gaze.
His fingers grasped her chin gently and tilted her head so she could see his expression. None of the hurt was displayed, only the same smile she was used to. 'Do you want to go for a walk?' Gilan asked her.
She thought about saying she was too tired, which she was, but then realised it was his way of asking for a conversation, since they couldn't stay outside her dorm and talk all night.
Jenny nodded, feeling exactly as she had more than a month ago, when Gilan had told her he had to leave.
'Outside?' She asked quietly, not trusting her voice at that moment.
'The villagers are celebrating a day off; it will be light and warm out there. But take a cloak I think, in case.'
Jenny allowed him into her room, putting her parchment away, and rummaging around until she found a brown cloak, suitable for cold winter nights.
'Can we pass by my cabin first? I would rather get a cloak myself.' Gilan admitted, shifting uncomfortably.
Jenny eyed him curiously; she knew from Will that the Ranger's cloak was warm and insulated for the cold, as well as camouflage.
'The villagers don't trust me if I turn up looking like a Ranger in the middle of the night. They'll accept me better if I look...' he struggled to find the word, '...normal.'
Tilting her head to the side in a clear questioning glance, Gilan sighed and waved his hand in her direction.
'Yeah I know, Will doesn't have to. But Will's a hero and younger than I am. It's easier to trust him. He's also only an apprentice, for now.'
Jenny mouthed a small, 'oh' and shuffled to the doorway, indicating she was ready to leave.
The two made their way to the caste courtyard. Jenny was surprised that everything was still lit outside, while the guards made their rounds quietly.
A roaring noise could begin to be heard, of cheering and laughter, coming from the grounds in front of the castle, close to the village homes where the people of Meric lived if they didn't reside in the castle.
Gilan took a different turn, making his way away from the noise. He took a torch before they left the castle completely and lit it on one of the large braziers. He handed it to Jenny, while he lit one for himself.
Jenny looked unenthusiastically at the looming forest before her.
'Don't worry; it's a clear path to my home. It's cut that way to confuse strangers or bandits.' He explained, casually reaching back to grasp her hand and lead her along behind him.
She concentrated on watching where she stepped, but it was hard with the warmth of his hand in hers, distracting her so she almost tripped on a very obvious log.
Jenny contemplated the appropriateness of following him to his cabin, but then put the thought aside. Alyss visited Will all the time while Halt was off doing something without him. Besides, she trusted Gilan.
She almost lost her nerve as they approached the cabin and a loud noise pierced through the silence.
Gilan grinned at her. 'It's just my horse, Blaze.' He explained, trying not to laugh as she glared daggers at him.
He let his laugh reduce to a subtle chuckle as he opened the door and allowed her in first.
A small fire that was almost just embers burned away in the hearth. Jenny appreciated it and moved over to warm herself.
Gilan stepped through and made his way to what she assumed was his bedroom.
Jenny took the time to study her surroundings, liking the neat and immaculate little cabin.
She knew from much groaning and complaints from Will, that Halt was a tough master and drilled into his apprentices that cleaning was essential.
Gilan finally emerged, wearing a similar outfit to the night he and Jenny went dancing. In his hand was a plain black cloak, nothing that gave the slightest indication he was a Ranger.
'Won't some of the people know you anyway?' Jenny asked idly as they made their way to the celebration that wasn't showing any signs of slowing down.
'Very few, plus I only just returned from being away for a month.' Gilan answered. 'Besides, I have you to distract them.'
Jenny didn't know if it was a compliment or not. She figured people didn't expect their Ranger to have a girlfriend, or whatever Jenny was to Gilan at that moment.
Feeling her thoughts turn sour, she was thrown by the amount of reassurance that flowed into her when Gilan gently squeezed her hand.
The villagers noticed their arrival, but didn't recognise Gilan at all.
Both were offered ale to drink and both refused. Gilan knew it would be irresponsible to drink when he should be at home finishing reports, while Jenny didn't want anything to loosen her tongue when she still hadn't figured out what to say to Gilan.
It was comfortable although noisy as Jenny sat next to Gilan, admiring the villagers. She saw empty trays of food from the competition she had competed in and was glad the dishes hadn't gone to waste.
Since she was an orphan but had been lucky enough to have picked her path in life, she respected the Baron for having days like these where the poorer folk could go all out and enjoy themselves.
There was music, rough and course with a simple lute player as well as makeshift drums and hearty vocals from the women.
The men danced and talked, while a lot of the village women sat with exhausted children who slept on them.
Jenny thought about asking Gilan to dance and then rejected the thought. She still didn't know how he felt or even how she would begin to ask him.
'Gil, is it hard sometimes, knowing you can't be like them?' Jenny asked, indicating with a nod of her head in the direction of the people.
He looked really thrown by her question.
Jenny wondered if she had pressed on a sensitive area.
'Why do you ask?'
'I know the way people look at Ranger's when they pass, as if they're sorcerers, evil or strange; I used to be the same.' She admitted. 'And you're such a fun, optimistic person...' Her voice trailed off as she frowned and looked down at her hands. 'For someone like you...'
'Yeah, it is hard.' Gilan's voice was quiet he didn't sound upset at her, which Jenny thought was a good thing. 'But I chose this path, and I love being a Ranger. You can't have your cake and eat it too.' He gave his familiar smile, pain and love reflected in his eyes.
Jenny for once understood the downside to being a Ranger. She tended to glorify it because of Will's adventures and accomplishments. She had never thought of the simplicity of being isolated from society and the consequences.
Gilan ran a hand through her hair, catching a lose wave and twirling it around his finger.
Jenny felt all her confidence drain, the helpless sensation that usually came whenever Gilan was being irresistible took hold of her.
'I like your hair long like this.' He told her quietly.
She felt her legs turn to jelly and wished she wasn't so weak at times like these. She wanted to kiss him so much, but a man's laughter broke her trance.
Reminded that they weren't in private, Jenny turned her head away from him, blushing furiously.
Gilan seemed to have understood, because he took her hand and pulled her up from her seat.
He nodded and waved to whoever was curious enough to watch before leading her away.
Without the fire and being unused to the breeze, Jenny shivered violently against the cold night air.
Gilan wrapped a reassuring arm around her, keeping her close as they made their way back to the castle.
Jenny insisted that she could make her way back to her dorm, but Gilan pushed her along, ignorant of her protests.
She gave a squeal of laughter as she tried her hardest to push against him, but he was much, much stronger.
'You'll wake the whole castle.' He warned her quietly.
'As if I'm any worse than the people outside.' She giggled. 'Gil, it's late. You should go back to your cabin.'
'Not until I make sure you're safe.' He stated, still ignoring her weak efforts. 'Besides, I want to say goodnight as well.'
Jenny practically melted at his words, stopping in the hallway to try and regain her composure.
'Now you aren't moving at all?' Gilan's voice sounded amused, but was considerate enough to keep his voice down.
He picked her up with a grin, while she laughed in frustration and struggled vainly for him to put her down.
Guards on duty around various points of the castle gave long, curious glances at Gilan as he passed them. He responded good naturedly with a grin and a nod.
Jenny had finally given up, still giggling from time to time at anyone's reaction as they passed by.
She felt her throat go dry with nerves when he finally set her down outside her dorm.
'Well, um, thanks for that, although it wasn't necessary.' Jenny told him, trying to scold him for his behaviour.
'You're welcome. But it was very necessary.' Gilan's easy grin told her that he wasn't going to apologise any time soon.
His smile disappeared as his expression grew serious. 'Are you leaving tomorrow?'
Jenny sighed and nodded, wrapping her arms around herself.
'I meet with the Baron in the morning, and then I head back to Redmont.'
'You'll be at Will's ceremony in a few weeks?'
'Ceremony?' Jenny gave a confused look.
Gilan realised she wouldn't be asked to join the ceremony until a few days beforehand, to reduce the chance that Will could guess what was happening.
'He graduates soon. All his friends, family and superiors will be there. I guess I'm just telling you this early.'
'I should be.' Jenny answered after a moment of thought.
'Good, I can't always spend time away from here. It will be hard not seeing you.' Gilan murmured, tracing her cheek with a feather-soft finger.
He leaned forward to kiss her and Jenny wanted to return the gesture, but she stopped him, leaving her hands forcefully on his chest.
Gilan raised his eyebrow at her. Jenny figured, through unspoken words, that their inability to explain their faults and the brief gap in their relationship was over. It seemed very much that Gilan was back to the way he had been before he left for Arrida.
But even so, she had to ask, 'Is this ok? Me... Us... Being with you?' Her voice dropped to a whisper, unsure whether she was about to be rejected or not.
'Is that what you're worried about?' Gilan asked. His confused expression replaced itself with a relieved smile.
'Well everything about you is a secret. Am I going to be a secret as well?' She timidly asked.
'It's safer if you are.' Gilan told her softly, pulling her into a warm embrace. 'But I don't want to be with anyone else.'
Jenny was going to reply, but Gilan put his fingers to her lips, silencing her. 'I haven't liked someone as much as I like you, ever. My life so far hasn't given me that privilege. So I'm new to this too.'
He thought briefly to what Halt would think, and he realised he was making a big decision, but it was for himself, not anyone else.
She nodded slowly.
'Can we just try it out? You can't say it won't work if it has never been attempted before.'
'I guess so.' Jenny admitted reluctantly, wondering what this would mean for the future of both of them.
'I mean we might not see each other often, and sometimes I might be in another country all together...'
'Gil, stop. You're not making this seem more appealing.' Jenny giggled.
Gilan shrugged. 'It's the truth.'
'Well maybe I should say no after all.'
'But there are positives.' He enthused, brushing long golden strands from her face.
Jenny felt her heartbeats quicken as she held her breath in anticipation and whispered, 'What might they be?'
'We can do this...'
He leaned down and kissed her.
His lips were warm and she felt more at peace with herself than she had in the past month.
Gilan held her securely which she was grateful for, because at that moment Jenny didn't trust her legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck, curling her fingers into his soft hair.
Jenny completely forgot where she was and gave herself into his embrace, giving a happy sigh when he released her.
A small noise of protest escaped her when he pulled her away from him.
Gilan took her hands, giving them a small squeeze while his smile reduced whatever part of her still functioned to a puddle.
'Goodnight.' He said cheerfully, steering her into her room.
'Wait, you will see me tomorrow won't you?' She asked desperately although giggling as he guided her to her bed.
'Of course, I'll be there after you speak to the Baron.'
'Okay,' Jenny murmured as she sat up on her bed.
He leant down and gave her one final kiss, lingering teasingly before he pulled away and headed out.
Gilan gave a small wave, closing the door behind him.
Jenny sighed and flopped back onto the pillow, her mind buzzing with excitement.
Her lips tingled from the feel of his and she reached up and pressed her fingers to them, sighing in contentment.
In her mind, life was finally turning out the way she wanted it to.
Author's Note:
Sorry that my chapters vary greatly in length, (and that this one is massive). Sometimes I write a chapter that is huge so I break it up, but I can't just split it in half because I might break up a conversation or something. What I try to do consistently is have meaningful, relative and good information in the shorter chapters so they are still worth reading, while the longer ones have more emotions and descriptions about them.
I picked the chapter title to describe their relationship forming a balance.
Thanks so much for all the added favourites I'm getting! :)
I love reviewers! :D
- Mae.
