Vulnerabilities
Chapter Eight
Apologies for the delay, I kept getting stuck on this chapter. Thank you so much for all the reviews though, they're really encouraging.
Disclaimer: I do not own Holby City.
Ric Griffin let out a long sigh as he stared down at the unconscious form of Henrik Hanssen. His shift had finished nearly an hour ago, but Ric had found that he was unable to leave without checking on the Swede's condition. To his dismay, there had been no change; Hanssen remained stable but unconscious, and the nurse had told him that there had he had not stirred during the afternoon either. Ric was not terribly surprised; the consultant had placed an incredible amount of stress on his body, but he could not help but feel increasingly concerned as time went on.
His unease was not helped by the knowledge that it was all his fault. Ever since Elliot had confronted him, Ric had been unable to supress his guilt over pushing Hanssen to undertake the operation. Sacha had spent most of the afternoon trying to convince him otherwise, but Ric could not deny the facts: if he had listened to Elliot, Hanssen would not now be in this situation. If the CT consultant had not also insisted on being present during the operation, there was a very real possibility that Hanssen could have died. That thought made him feel slightly sick.
Wearily, Ric got to his feet. There was nothing he could do for the Swede, and he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow. He was just turning to leave when the bleep of the heart monitor sped up. Ric spun in alarm. Hanssen's breathing had suddenly deepened, and as Ric watched, his eyes flickered open and let out a low moan. Hurriedly, Ric returned to his side.
"Henrik? Henrik, can you hear me?" The consultant seemed dazed as he met Ric's gaze, but after a moment, the confusion in his eyes faded. He drew in a breath to reply, but was suddenly overcome by a fit of hacking coughs. Automatically, he tried to sit up, but could not suppress a sharp gasp of pain as the chest drain prevented the movement. Gently, Ric pushed him back down.
"Easy, don't try to sit up," he said soothingly. He grabbed the oxygen mask and carefully positioned it over Hanssen's face. "Just breathe." Gradually, the coughing fit abated, and Hanssen had gathered enough control to be able to mask the worst of the pain. He glanced up at Ric and gave a grateful nod.
"Thank you, Mr. Griffin." The pain and exhaustion in his voice were all too easy to hear. Ric's brow furrowed with concern.
"How are you feeling?" he asked gently. Hanssen gave a wan smile.
"I have been better," he admitted. Ric's frown deepened. He had known Hanssen long enough to know that the Swede detested showing weakness. The pain must be immense for him to admit he was suffering. Wordlessly, he got up and adjusted the morphine drip. After a moment, Hanssen relaxed slightly, but his face was still drawn and haggard.
"Thank you," he murmured. Ric sighed.
"You should get some more rest," he said quietly. "You went into shock earlier you know." Hanssen's eyes widened slightly.
"I see." He frowned. "How long have I been here?"
"About six hours." An authoritative note entered his voice. "Now go to sleep. I'll be back with Elliot tomorrow." Hanssen nodded slowly.
"An excellent suggestion." His eyes were already drifting closed. "You might want to take it yourself too." Ric rolled his eyes.
"You're not supposed to be concerned about me," he began, but his words fell upon deaf ears. Hanssen was already sound asleep.
Ric shook his head and got to his feet again. He was relieved that the Swede would recover, but guilt still nagged at the back of his mind. Wearily, he left the room, but not to go home. Instead, he went to look for Elliot.
To his relief, Elliot was still in his office. The CT consultant glanced up in surprise as Ric appeared in the doorway.
"Ric, your shift finished ages ago. What are you still doing here?" Ric shrugged as he slumped into a seat.
"I went to check on Hanssen," he said. Elliot's gaze immediately sharpened.
"How was he?" he asked anxiously. Ric sighed.
"No change for the most part, but he did wake up just as I was leaving." Elliot glared at him.
"Why didn't you call me?" he demanded. Ric did not flinch.
"He was only conscious for a few minutes," he explained. "I gave him some more morphine and he fell asleep." Elliot's scowl faded.
"Oh." He sighed. "My apologies. How did he seem?" Ric shook his head.
"Awful," he said bluntly. "He was completely exhausted and in a lot of pain." Elliot nodded unhappily.
"I can't say I'm surprised. This recovery was always going to be much harder than the first one." Ric still looked troubled, and it was not difficult for Elliot to discern the cause. "Do you still feel responsible?" he asked carefully. Ric looked at him sharply, but said nothing. Elliot sighed. "Ric, you have to let this go. It was his decision to that op, and he was aware of all the possible risks. Worrying about it now won't help." Ric shook his head.
"I know," he said softly. "I've spent the whole afternoon trying to think of another solution and come up with nothing. We didn't have any other choice. But that doesn't make it any easier." Elliot smiled.
"If it did, I'd start to worry," he said lightly. His smile faded as he leaned forwards. "Ric, both of you did the only thing you could. Hanssen was aware of the risk, but he would have gone ahead with it even if he had known what would happen. All you're doing by second-guessing yourself is wasting energy." Ric gave him a small smile.
"You may be right." With an effort he stifled a yawn and got to his feet. "I should be getting back. Annalese will be wondering what's happened." Elliot nodded.
"You do look exhausted," he commented. "Go home and try and forget about this. I'll see you tomorrow." Reluctantly, Ric nodded.
"I'll try. Good night, Elliot."
"Good night."
Elliot sighed as Ric left the room. It was clear the other consultant was feeling guilty over his part in Hanssen's condition, and Elliot was beginning to regret losing his temper earlier. Ric had only been trying to help his patient after all; Elliot knew that he would probably have done the same in his place. Unfortunately, they now had to deal with the consequences. Elliot shook his head. With any luck, Hanssen would make a full recovery, but it would take time, and he would probably have to have another operation to prevent it from happening again. The Swede was in for a very uncomfortable few weeks.
It was not until late afternoon the next day that Elliot and Ric had the opportunity of talking to Hanssen. Elliot had checked with the ICU staff at regular intervals, and although the consultant had awoken very early, they had quickly realised that he was in no state to be having visitors. It had taken another ten hours sleep before Elliot judged that he was well enough for the conversation, and even then he knew that they would have to keep it brief.
Elliot was slightly surprised at just how nervous Ric looked as he pushed open the door. Personally, he thought that it was highly unlikely that the Swede would hold Ric to blame, but his friend was unconvinced. Elliot was more concerned that Hanssen would make too light of the situation and, by extension, his own injuries. He was going to have to keep a close eye on him.
Hanssen's eyes flickered open at their entrance.
"Mr. Hope, Mr. Griffin." His voice was tight with controlled pain, but he managed a slight smile. His gaze paused on Ric. "I trust the operation was a success?" Ric gaped at him as Elliot let out an exasperated sigh.
"Yes," Ric stammered. "It looks like she'll make a full recovery." Relief flashed across the Swede's face.
"That is a relief." Elliot coughed loudly.
"Can you please concentrate on your own heath for a few minutes?" he asked wearily. He sighed as Hanssen glanced back at him innocently. "How do you feel?" he asked. Hanssen shivered, his smile fading.
"Not at best," he murmured. There was a slight frown on his face. "What exactly happened? I find I cannot quite remember." He sounded almost embarrassed. Elliot nodded in understanding.
"I'm not surprised," he said sympathetically. "You developed a tension pneumothorax that caused you to go into cardiogenic shock. I relieved the immediate symptoms with needle decompression therapy, and then inserted a chest drain." He shook his head. "You were very lucky. Too much longer and the consequences could have been much worse." Hanssen nodded slowly.
"I do not feel lucky," he said quietly. "I underestimated the strain of the transplant." His gaze darted to Ric as the consultant flushed and dropped his gaze. "Is something wrong, Mr. Griffin?" Ric cleared his throat awkwardly.
"I'm afraid I also miscalculated." He took a deep breath and met Hanssen's gaze. "I shouldn't have asked for your help. Elliot told me that the risk was too high and I didn't listen. I'm sorry." Hanssen shook his head.
"Do not apologise, Mr. Griffin," he said sharply. "The risk was acceptable." Elliot snorted.
"Acceptable? Henrik, you nearly died! Another few minutes…"
"But I didn't, Mr. Hope," Hanssen interrupted firmly. "And the operation was a success, was it not?" Elliot gritted his teeth.
"If it had failed, you would probably be dead too." He shook his head angrily. "How did you even manage to hide a pneumothorax for six hours anyway?" The Swede shrugged carefully.
"A simple matter of discipline," he said shortly. "The point remains that Emily Hopkins now has a chance for a normal life." Ric stared at him in dismay.
"Henrik, the point remains that you were in almost as much danger as she was," he said. "How can you class that as an acceptable risk?"
"The possible benefits outweighed the possible risks by…"
"I didn't want a complete definition, Henrik!" Ric took a deep breath as he tried to calm down. "Are you even listening to us?" Hanssen looked mildly affronted.
"Of course." Elliot sighed.
"Why are you being so stubborn about this?" he asked. The confusion was clear in his voice. "Why did you feel it was necessary to go to such lengths for one child?" Hanssen met his gaze steadily.
"'I will apply, for the benefit of the sick, all measures that are required*'," he quoted softly. "I swore that oath just as you did, gentlemen. What else could I have done?" Ric and Elliot exchanged an uneasy glance.
"You still shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard," Elliot protested, but the conviction was gone from his voice. He would probably have done the same thing. Ric sighed.
"Without your help, Emily would not have survived," he admitted. "I don't agree with your reasoning, but I can't exactly condemn it." Hanssen nodded wearily.
"I thought not." Elliot's eyes narrowed at the fatigue in his voice, and he got to his feet.
"We'd better leave you to get some rest." His tone made it clear that he would brook no arguments. Ric stood up, but stayed where he was.
"One moment, Elliot." He turned to Hanssen. "I just want you to know how much we appreciate what you did," he said. "I doubt that Emily would be alive now without your help. On behalf of me, and Emily's parents, thank you." Hanssen shook his head.
"You are welcome." His jaw tightened as a flicker of pain flashed across his face, and Ric caught the warning glint in Elliot's eyes.
"We'll leave you in peace," he said quickly. "Try and sleep." The Swede smiled slightly as he closed his eyes, and Ric quietly followed Elliot from the room.
Once outside, Elliot shook his head in exasperation.
"I see he's as stubborn as ever," he muttered. Ric grinned. The knowledge that Hanssen did not blame him had lifted a considerable weight from his mind.
"Did you really expect him to change?" Elliot scowled at him.
"I was hoping this would at least make him a little more cautious," he complained. "He's going to be absolutely impossible." Ric glanced at his watch and sighed.
"I'd better get back to Keller," he said. "I promised Sacha I'd let him know what was happening." His smile widened. "Good luck." Elliot shook his head.
"Thank you." Ric nodded a farewell and left the ward.
"Elliot." Elliot turned to see Greg and Sahira approaching. Both wore expressions of deep concern. "How is he?" asked Sahira anxiously. Elliot gave her a reassuring smile.
"I think he's going to be fine." Sahira's frown turned to a beaming smile as Greg let out a sigh of relief. Elliot smiled at their reactions as he continued. "We're going to have to keep a close eye on him for the next couple of weeks, but he should make a full recovery." He glanced at Sahira. "He's resting again at the moment, but I'm sure you'll be able to visit later." Sahira smiled guiltily
"Am I that obvious?" Greg smirked.
"Pretty much." Sahira scowled at him, but the twinkle in her dark eyes rather ruined the effect. Elliot shook his head.
"It's a perfectly understandable reaction," he said. "And I believe you have patients to see to, Mr. Douglas." Greg nodded, winked at Sahira, and departed on his errand. Sahira watched him go.
"He's like a little kid," she said fondly. Her smile faded slightly as she glanced back to Elliot. "Mr. Hope, I need to thank you." Elliot looked at her quizzically.
"Whatever for, Sahira?" She smiled warmly.
"For taking care of Henrik," she explained. "I know he can be a difficult patient, but we really do appreciate everything you've done." Elliot shook his head.
"It's no trouble at all," he said gently. "A few more weeks and he'll be back to normal." He smiled. "Now, Mr. Douglas is not the only one with patients." Sahira grinned.
"I really should be getting back," she agreed. "Thank you again, Elliot."
"My pleasure."
Elliot could not suppress a smile as he returned to his office. The knowledge that Hanssen would make a full recovery was more of a relief than he had expected. Over the past week he had got to know the other consultant much better, and had been deeply impressed by his compassion and his courage, even if he did have the frustrating habit of taking both qualities to extremes at times. Elliot had known for a while that there were very few things Hanssen considered more important than his work, but he was only now beginning to realise that that concern extended to individual patients as well as the hospital in general. He would certainly have never expected the Swede to try completing a liver transplant in his previous condition. He shook his head in astonishment. It looked like Hanssen was going to continue to surprise them.
*A quote from the modern version of the Hippocratic Oath.
Just a quick warning; I have exams coming up, so it might take me a little longer to update for the next few weeks. Don't worry, I will finish this as soon as I can. Please keep reviewing.
