Barnaby was in much better spirits when Kotetsu returned. He couldn't resist the urge to greet him with a kiss, and the kiss turned a bit heated, thanks to the paths of his thoughts just before his return. The old man seemed rather pleased at this welcome, and they lingered there by the door for a few more kisses, soft and warm. It was Barnaby who broke off, a hint of a blush in his cheeks, as he realized Kotetsu's arms were full with his overnight bag and the Chinese takeout. He took the food, suggesting that Kotetsu could go ahead and put his bag in the bedroom, and allowing himself to smile at the smirk on the old man's face.
It was by no means the first time Kotetsu had been at his apartment for dinner. In fact, they'd often perched on the couch eating takeout just like this, while watching Hero TV for the latest recaps and arguing over who had gotten the most camera time. They wouldn't be on these latest episodes, of course. But out of the familiar routine, Barnaby turned on the TV anyway, and they divvied up the food while the latest hero exploits played out.
An art thief was stopped from escaping with priceless originals from the museum by the combined efforts of Sky High and Fire Emblem. Blue Rose stopped a house fire from raging out of control while Dragon Kid ensured that all the occupants escaped safely. As they watched the highlights, Barnaby caught the look of melancholy on Kotetsu's face. "You miss it, don't you?"
"Hmm?"
"Being a hero. You miss it."
Kotetsu gave him a weak half-smile. "Yeah, I guess I do. For so long, it was all I wanted to be. I'm not sure how to start being something else."
The words were such a clear echo of Barnaby's own fears about the future that he had to pause and think over his words carefully. They really were alike in some very important ways. "I'll miss it too. But it's not worth doing if you're not there."
"I'm sure you'd still get plenty of points."
"You know that's not what I mean."
"Why, Bunny," Kotetsu said in mock surprise, but Barnaby could see the softening in his gaze that meant his words had struck a chord with the old man.
"And I'm not really sure what I want to do from here, either," he admitted, feeling a flutter of nervousness at his honest words.
"Ahh, you'll figure it out. You're good at that. Me, I'll have to learn how to be a good father."
"You already are," Barnaby insisted.
Kotetsu waved a hand. "I've done a lot of things wrong, remember? I'm probably going to make a lot more mistakes. I just hope Kaede keeps thinking I'm cool."
He smiled softly. "She will. I think the important thing is that she knows how much you love her. That's the strong foundation you can build on."
The old man dropped his empty food carton at his feet and leaned back against the couch. "See? You're good at figuring this out."
"Well, I'm not sure I'm the best authority when it comes to familial relationships," he objected awkwardly, suddenly feeling that he had overstepped in offering advice about something had so little experience with.
"Ah, Bunny," and Kotetsu had taken his hand, his brown eyes sincere. "Don't be so hard on yourself. It's good advice."
"All the same," he murmured, looking down. "Take it with a grain of salt, old man. Even my memories of family aren't to be trusted."
There were few moments of silence between them with only the drone of the TV to fill it. Then Kotetsu moved down the couch, taking the food carton from his unresisting hands to set at his feet, taking the remote to turn off the TV, then putting an arm over his shoulder to draw him into an awkward half-embrace. His eyes were still soft, but there was steel beneath it. Barnaby wanted to flinch away from his intent gaze. It was the gaze of the Tiger on the hunt, the Tiger who wasn't going to be deterred from his goal.
"Come here, Bunny-chan," he said in a murmur, and with only a moment of stiffened resistance, Barnaby gave in, moving closer and allowing Kotetsu to once again pull his legs onto his lap. It quietly registered in the back of his mind that the old man must like holding him this way, or else thought it the most comforting way to hold him. Perhaps both. He curled against Kotetsu, pressing against his shoulder, trying to calm the trembling he was starting to feel.
"Bunny..." The voice was soft, barely more than a whisper, and yet it had the strength to keep him anchored as his emotions again started to roil into turbulence. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing, deep and steady breaths, knowing that it would help keep everything else from spinning out of control if he could at least maintain his breathing. He felt Kotetsu's arms wrapped around his back, a gentle caress, and that murmured repetition of his name. It took some time before his heart stopped its odd shuddering and returned to normal, and when it did, he felt a flush of shame creep into his cheeks. Losing himself again? What was wrong with him? A lot, that voice in the back of his mind informed him. Could he really have expected to endure all he'd been through, finding out how much of his life had been a fabrication, and not have some problems as a result? Well yes, he did expect that of himself, because he held himself to certain standards of behavior, and this behavior was inexcusable.
"I'm sorry, Kotetsu," he said, trying to keep his voice even. "It won't happen again."
"Idiot," he replied, and only the fond tone kept Barnaby from flinching. "Don't make promises you can't keep. At least learn that much from me."
He frowned, straightening up and drawing back from the embrace. "What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. Remember what I told you earlier? You've been through a lot. You don't get to tell yourself that you should be doing better than you are. So stop it. And stop feeling like it makes you weak to feel that way."
He looked away. "How come I can't be the one to decide that? It's me we're talking about."
"Because you don't give yourself enough credit. Bunny, please, listen to an old man. If you keep pushing and pushing yourself, you'll end up collapsing. And I don't want that. So I'm telling you that you need to be easier on yourself."
Once again, it was the old man's admission of selfish motivations that convinced Barnaby to consider what he had to say. "Maybe you have a point," he muttered.
"You know I do," and Kotetsu kissed his forehead. He glared over his glasses, but the old man only smiled back at him. "If you are going to promise me something, promise that you'll go easy on yourself."
"We'll see," he replied, reluctant to make that promise because he wasn't sure he'd keep it. And that was one piece of advice that he did want to follow. Kotetsu ruffled his hair, and Barnaby glared back at him, reaching up to fix what the old man had mussed. This earned him a laugh, and then he was being pulled close into another embrace. He resisted this one to spite him, which only made him try harder, until suddenly he'd lost his balance and Kotetsu was laying across the couch with Barnaby sprawled over him. He strengthened his glare. "Stop that," he scowled. "Remember, you're injured!"
"Hah, you think I didn't remember that? Bit to the side, Bunny, please," and Kotetsu's face revealed a twinge of pain.
Immediately concerned, Barnaby moved as directed, resting more of his weight against the back of the couch to ease the pressure on those still-tender burns. He saw the pain in his expression ease, much to his relief. "I thought I told you to take it easy, " he chided softly. And then he blinked, as he realized the echo of those words.
Kotetsu hadn't missed it either, it was obvious from his sly smirk. "You did. I told you I wouldn't push myself. But what I just did was pulling."
"Don't argue semantics with me, old man."
He grinned. "Then agree that we should both be easier on ourselves."
Of course the old man played dirty. He sighed. "Fine. I'll try."
"That's all you really have to do, Bunny," and Kotetsu had wrapped his arms around him again. "Just try. Because sometimes we all make mistakes, and we can't be too hard on ourselves when we do. Just try. The nice thing is that it's good practice, and you'll get better and better at it."
"Practice, hmm? Interesting words from the man who kept skipping weight training." He was starting to feel a bit more at ease now. Odd how that tended to happen when he was being held by Kotetsu.
"Bah, and you refused to let Lloyds-san reschedule that interview to make up for it."
"Because if given the choice, you would have preferred weight training to interviews, and I knew it." Barnaby kissed his cheek. "It's a good thing you had me to keep things running smoothly for you."
His expression softened. "Yeah. It's a good thing I have you."
The fluttering of his heart reawakened, and Barnaby felt himself drawn back down. He sought Kotetsu's lips, overwhelmed by the urge to get lost in his kiss, and was met with equal desire from his partner. His throat tightened as he felt gentle caresses against his back, and he had to break from the kiss to gasp softly. Tears were stinging in his eyes again. "Kotetsu..."
"Shh, Bunny. It's okay," and Kotetsu was kissing him softly again, snaking one hand into his hair, keeping him close. "It's okay."
He believed him. He wanted to believe him. Doubt still buzzed in the back of his mind, but it was far easier now to ignore it, when there were these beautiful kisses to distract him. Kisses from Kotetsu. His partner. His love. Kotetsu loved him, had said so, had proved it by showing him, and was continuing to prove it right now. Barnaby was determined to return the favor, to show the old man just how much it meant to him. How much he meant to him. The kiss was becoming heated, he was starting to very gently grind atop him, still mindful of his injuries. Kotetsu was making those soft sounds of pleasure again, the sounds that Barnaby loved to hear. He broke the kiss to move his lips down his jawline, to his neck, where he started to kiss and suck greedily at the sensitive skin. He heard a throaty growl, felt the hand in his hair tighten into a fist, and he responded by using his teeth. Now Kotetsu gasped and started to move, carrying Barnaby with him, and their positions reversed, with Barnaby now beneath and straddled.
"Nippy Bunny," he growled, eyes flashing, before he lunged down with a deep kiss, his hand seizing Barnaby's and pinning it against the arm of the couch, fingers threaded together. The sensation of being held down did a startling thing to Barnaby's heart, making it skip beats and flutter like a bird trapped in a cage. He arched his back, testing the old man's hold for any weaknesses, and at the same time letting him know just what this was doing to him. "Oh, you like that?" was the purred response, and his legs were now pinned in place by his partner's, drawing a shuddering moan from his lips before he could even think to hold it back. He was trapped under Kotetsu, his heart was racing, his throat was tight, and he could only manage to make a tiny mewling noise of desire. "You do," the old man crooned. "I didn't expect that, Bunny-chan...but I can work with that..."
Now Kotetsu was kissing him again, and he was helpless to resist. It was driving him absolutely wild. Oh, but he knew, he knew, that he could resist, that the slightest display of actual discomfort would cause Kotetsu to release him, but denying that to himself was heightening the unexpected pleasure of being at his mercy. Whenever Kotetsu's lips freed his, he let out a moan, his breathing ragged and racing, but it was only a brief respite, because Kotetsu kept returning to crush his lips, his tongue invading his mouth, and then pulling back just when it was getting good. The moans were turning into strained whimpers, which seemed to please Kotetsu very much, because he kept doing the things that drew out those cries, clenching the hand that pinned his in place, shifting his hips so that Barnaby could feel the bulge of his cock. So the old man really did get off on pushing him around, he realized in a dizzy daze, remembering his snarled accusation from that afternoon. And he realized to his utter surprise that he completely fucking loved this.
"Good Bunny," Kotetsu murmured, and he realized he had stopped testing and resisting, had gone passive beneath him. The praise elicited another moan from him, another shiver of hot desire silvering through the reddish haze. What was going on? Why was he feeling this needy anticipation? It was painful, it felt like his skin was on fire every time Kotetsu touched him, and he only wanted more, more, more.
"Please..."
Kotetsu fell still, drew back oh-so-slightly, and he felt the Tiger's intense stare. "What was that, Bunny-chan?"
He trembled, he couldn't help it, Kotetsu's voice was making him shiver like it never had before. "Please..." he whispered, unsure what exactly he was asking for, hoping that Kotetsu would understand.
The Tiger was still studying him, and he waited, his breathing shallow and uneven, his eyes fixed, his entire body aching with that nebulous need. Please, he repeated only in his mind. Please understand what I mean even though I don't. He was hot all over, his heart was pounding, he was shivering with an anticipation he couldn't even name, and he could not tear his eyes away from his partner's.
Kotetsu must have found what he was searching for in Barnaby's eyes, for now he lowered his head to give him the softest of kisses, a bare brush of his lips that was the purest, sweetest affection. Then he spoke, his voice a rough whisper in his ear. "Back to the bedroom, Bunny-chan. It's more comfortable there."
