A/N: Adfgjsklhjsdkflgh author's note! I was so exhausted that I came home after school and promptly fell asleep for four hours, no lie. Which is why this chapter isn't up earlier. Sorry guys.
Anyway, REALLY BIG ANNOUNCEMENT: this is the second-to-last chapter. How can I say that with such certainty? Because the last chapter is already written. So make sure to be here Sunday night to catch it. This is not a drill.
Reviews! Thank you so much to NothingFromNowhereImNoOneAtAll, Twisted Artistic Genius, Matt'sUke, MidnightInDecember, Noxie, MiaoShou, agent m, flamablechoklit, Bluemoon4Sphinx, recipe for insanity, Nikki, Le'letha, dull spork, Aisu Isme, and WithABunny for your reviews.
WithABunny won the chapter challenge, again! You should never use the word pwned. Ever. Ever. Unless you're cool like Matt (flamablechoklit and NothingFromNowhere, as well as the rest of you readers who use the word are the only ones who are cool like Matt). And I hang out with robotics boys, so they use it a lot. For the record, MiaoShou, it's pronounced like "owned" with a "p" at the front. Don't ask me how that works. :)
This time's challenge: A cop-out. What is the actual occupation of Kira's "Secretary of Information" canonically?
WARNING: Mello uses an awful word in this chapter. He's angry. I really don't condone his language. DON'T USE THIS WORD. Also, he gets major irony points for it.
Questions are actually answered in this chapter! Enjoy it! I love you all!
D
8 – Impractical Heels
Inside the room, Mello felt that this was one of his all-time lows.
Yagami had left, but he would be back soon. Although Mello had managed to step on his feet (in spike heels, no less) several times while being dragged down the hallways, he hadn't managed to break free, and was, instead, sitting in a rather small room with bleak white walls, his hands still handcuffed in his lap and the rest of him tied to an uncomfortable wooden chair. His legs were free, but he couldn't really do much with them, and he'd been gagged, but, given the fact that he was still very much alive, that would probably change. After all, Yagami was bound to want him to answer some questions.
Mello wasn't sure who would have more questions, him or Yagami. Dammit, this wasn't supposed to have ended up like this! The plan was so farfetched but so, so, foolproof, and it had almost worked. How had Yagami known that it was him? And where was Matt? And what were they going to do?
Well, Mello was probably going to die. That much was certain. He was somehow prepared to face that. He hoped that Matt had gotten away, at least, but knowing him, he was still hanging around somewhere, trying to think of some way to get Mello out. Mello felt ironic laughter bubble up in his throat. The damn fool, he would die for Mello any day without batting an eye. And Mello…well, right now, Mello would give anything to have Matt just leave him and go somewhere safe. Damn fool. Being so selfless. He probably didn't know that Mello very nearly loved him.
And he wouldn't know. Because Mello was going to get killed, and he was ready for it. Even if he was wearing a dress and impractical heels.
If you have to go, go with style, he thought bitterly, and then the door opened.
"Sorry," said Yagami, with a wicked grin. "I'm not being a very good date, am I? Leaving you alone in a room by yourself. Not very polite of me."
Mello rolled his eyes. This guy was going to be the death of him in more ways than one.
"Oh, but I hate it when I do all the talking." Yagami walked over to Mello, crouched down, and untied his gag. "That any better?"
Mello spat right in his face.
Yagami wiped his face with the back of his hand and stood. "I liked you better as a girl," he said. "You had manners. Decency."
"Spare me the bullshit, Yagami," Mello snapped. "How the hell did you know it was me in that dress?"
"I thought I was the one asking the questions."
"Too bad. I want an explanation."
Yagami loosened his tie, then put his hands in his pockets and smiled. "Well, since you asked so politely…" He shrugged. "The guest list. Your friend hacked it to add your aliases. I had gone over that list the day before with Mikami, and he was double-checking it when he noticed your names." Yagami paused, and Mello vaguely remembered Mikami having mentioned seeing their names on the guest list. Damn. "It's a good thing he's always so thorough. Naturally, he notified me that we mysteriously had two extra guests, and I knew it had to be you."
"Why us? Why not the rebellion?"
"The rebellion?" Yagami repeated incredulously. "That group of fools, who sit around with their theories and statistics and never do anything? You know L and N, and that's not their style. You, however…you'd love to take me on one-on-one, you would masquerade as someone else and go to my party, Melanie." He laughed, a clear laugh with a maniacal edge. "I was so looking forward to meeting you, after what you did to poor Demegawa last week."
"Hitoshi Demegawa was a crook," Mello said. "He abused his power like you abuse yours."
"I'm not sure my Secretary of Information—"
"Secretary of Propaganda," Mello interjected fiercely.
"It's all the same," Yagami continued, waving off Mello's comment. "The wording is unimportant. You're either a resistance fighter or a terrorist, and I'm a great political leader…" He smiled. "Or a crook. Demegawa wouldn't have enjoyed being called a crook, and I don't enjoy it much, either." Yagami stopped and looked at Mello properly. "I must say, that dress is very flattering on you."
"Shut up," Mello said, turning his head away.
Yagami sat in a chair across from Mello and crossed his legs. His mouth twisted into a sneer. "We're very much alike, you know," he said. "Both so willing to go to extreme lengths to get what we want. You just happen to be prettier than me."
"Shut up, Yagami," Mello growled again, glaring, straining against his bindings. "I am nothing like you."
"I admire your stubbornness," Yagami said. "But you are wrong. We are very much alike. I just happen to have a little more restraint." He blinked. "Why do you oppose me so strongly?" he asked suddenly. "What could possibly have motivated you to go this far?"
"I don't think its right for one man to have so much power," Mello grunted, still locked in a losing battle with the ropes. "You think you own the world, but you're nothing better than a tyrant, Yagami. And you know that."
Yagami laughed lightly. "A tyrant? It's been awhile since I've last heard that." He stood, and began to pace. "How can you honestly say that? What I've done to the world has been for its own good. Under my rule, crime has dropped 70 percent worldwide. Global wars have ceased. There's no reason for them anymore, Mello. When a country—no, not country—when a region of this new world has an issue, it approaches me, and we solve it. For…everyone's benefit. I guarantee that the all parties involved walk away satisfied without a single shot being fired. This world, my world, is a better place. Now, you might say that I'm a tyrant because I was not elected to my position, but you have to understand that…"
Mello began to tune him out. Yagami was clearly just talking to hear his own voice now. He stared at a scintillating patch of wall behind Yagami's head. At least he knew that Yagami didn't have Matt. If he did, he would have mentioned it already. He liked bragging, evidently, since he was still talking, and that would have been one more thing to hang over Mello's head.
"And as for the global economy…" Yagami continued, and Mello knew he had awhile yet to go.
"Psst, Mel!" said a tiny voice in Mello's left ear, and he started. Of course. He still had his left earring. Matt could still talk to him. Matt was safe. Thank God.
"Don't answer too loudly. Are you okay? Is Yagami evil monologue-ing at you right now?"
"Mhm." Mello nodded as he said this, as if he were remotely following what Yagami was saying.
"Okay, good. In a few minutes we're going out bust in there and get you out, and capture Yagami in the process."
We? Who's 'we?' Mello wondered, but he could only say "Mmm."
"Look, I know you'll be tempted, but you won't be able to shoot him. It's one of the conditions. You have to promise me."
What fucking conditions?! "Hmm," Mello said noncommittally.
"I'll take that as a yes." The connection crackled with static, and then Matt said, "Hey, Mels?"
"Mmn?"
A pause, then he heard, "Be careful. Stall Yagami for a few minutes. Just a few. Can you do that?"
"Mhm."
"Good. I l—" Matt stopped, as if he'd been about to say something else. "Good. Be careful."
Mello heard a click as Matt disconnected, and that was when he remembered the ring.
Of course! Hadn't Matt given him that golden ring just for this sort of emergency? A switch on the bottom that would activate a laser…the man was a genius. Mello glanced up at Yagami—going on about he had helped save the dolphins or some such thing—and then back down, trying to maneuver his hands so he could reach the switch without accidentally hurting himself. Just…a little…closer…got it! The tiny red beam shone out of the front of the ring and burned through a few of the ropes binding Mello to the chair. Yes! He was free! Well, practically. He still had the handcuffs, but that would be easy to cut with—
"What was that?" Yagami asked suddenly, eyeing Mello suspiciously.
Shit. Mello switched off the laser. He'd have to act normally; otherwise, the guards would come in and it would be over for all of them. Just a few minutes. "Nothing," he said innocently. "Please, go on."
"No, no, I was just about finished," Yagami said. "Do you see now?"
"Mmm."
Yagami ran a hand through his hair. "That's a pity. It's a shame that things turned out the way they did. I was actually enjoying my time with you tonight." He flashed Mello a brilliant smile. "But, in the end, it all comes down to type. And you're not really my type."
"What?" Mello asked, almost sarcastically. "You mean, 'male?'"
"Actually," Yagami said smoothly, "I meant, 'blond.' I like brunettes."
"Oh, I guess when you're as high ranking as you are, Kira, you don't have to be picky about gender." Mello paused. "Ah, wait. Dark hair…is that what the deal is with Mikami? I thought he seemed a little weird around you."
"Well, since I'm going to be killing you off anyway…" Yagami smiled. "I don't really need to deny anything. Mikami is useful, that's all I will say."
"I should have known you were a faggot," Mello shot. "You did kiss me knowing exactly who I was."
"Oh, Mello." Yagami shook his head. "That was perhaps one of the most ironic statements I have ever heard. Don't forget which one of us is wearing the dress, and which one is wearing the pants." Mello glared. "And as for kissing you…well, I'm a decent actor. I can manage. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a party to attend to, and I believe you're late for your execution."
Yagami began to turn away, and Mello felt a sudden jolt of alarm race through him. No. Matt said he'd be coming. This was too soon. "No, wait!" he called suddenly, and when Yagami turned back around, he wondered what the hell he was going to say.
"Yes?"
"Um, well…" Mello began, unsure of how he was going to finish. "I wanted…to say something before, when you were giving your speech, but…I thought you wouldn't believe me."
Yagami took a step back towards Mello and crossed his arms. "Try me."
"Well, you know…" Mello faked a smile. "I thought you were absolutely gorgeous when you were trying to convince me that you were in the right, and…" He tossed his hair over his shoulder with a shake of his head. "I really don't have the right to be calling anyone a faggot."
Yagami took another step forward. He was curious. This was working. "You're just trying to get me to spare you," he said.
"No, that's not it…that's not it at all." Mello's voice was almost a whisper now, and Yagami had to practically lean over him to hear him speak. Okay, so this was one way of doing things. Not exactly the way he usually would have chosen, but now that he knew Yagami wasn't exactly as straight as a line, all of the rules were out the window. "I think that you're one of…one of the sexiest men I've ever met. And, I'd hoped…you weren't acting when you kissed me."
Lying. Lying through his teeth. Yagami was eating it up, though. Who was the actor now? "Really?"
"Yes," Mello said, thinking, hell no, hell no. He heard something outside the doorway that sounded like a struggle, but he ignored it. He had to concentrate. "And…"
"And…?"
"And…even if you're going to kill me…I want you…"
"Tell me," Yagami whispered. "Tell me just what you want me to do." He was so close to Mello now, and Mello heard a clang and a grunt outside the door. That sounded good. But. Concentrate.
"I want you…to…"
"Want me to what?"
BANG. The door crashed open. Yagami whipped his head around, and that was when Mello kneed him right between the legs.
As he collapsed, Mello stood, shrugged off the ropes, and, still handcuffed, withdrew his pistol from where he had been hiding it all night, and pointed it right at Light Yagami's head.
"I want you to die, Kira," Mello said, loudly and clearly. "I want you to die a slow and painful death." He smiled.
Praise the Lord, and pass the ammunition.
BAM. YES. FINALLY.
Also, I don't actually ship Light/everyone. Mikami's in there because, in this fic, Light happens to be a manwhore. Just a leetle. Also, Light likes dark hair. What is being hinted at? It is a mystery.
Say...to make sense of something, I'll also add down here that if L and Near did show up, they'd have, like, their little rebellion with them. So they'd be a help. If B showed up, everyone would get killed! Yay!
Tune in SUNDAY for the next installment!
