Bill and I had moved from our shower and its delicious aftermath to his big bed. I had been the first to lie in that bed with him (and while there had been another human woman in the bed since me, Bill had told me she had mattered to him very little, and that she had been a sad substitute for me—poor thing, she had mostly been there to make me jealous---which had worked despite my best efforts). I loved Bill's flowered wallpaper and flowered sheets; since we only saw flowers at night, it was nice to have them everywhere.
We were both barefoot, and wrapped up in velvet robes that Bill had kept for us from the time of our first few months together. That was both a blissful and anxious time for me, and in some ways, I wasn't surprised when it all went south. Hurt beyond bearing, yes, but surprised? Not all that much.
Bill had microwaved each of us a bottle of TrueBlood—O Negative, his favorite because that had been my human blood type. He flipped the caps off the warmed bottles, covered each opening with a thumb and gave them a vigorous shake to eliminate hot spots, then held one out to me. I took it tentatively, it being my first bottled blood ever. I drank a sip. It tasted better than I'd thought; actually, it was pretty darned close to the real thing—well, not as good as Bill. Since he was a vamp, he tasted terrific. I clasped my hands around the bottle, frowning down at the contents.
"What is bothering you, sweetheart?" Bill asked as he sat next to me on the bed.
"Hmmm? Oh. It's just that I don't find it all that strange to be sitting here in our bathrobes, drinking synthetic blood from a bottle, like a couple of old married vamps. It should feel a whole lot weirder, shouldn't it?"
"Well," Bill mused thoughtfully, "I certainly dreamed of this, but I never let myself hope you would be mine forever." There was a long, ever so slightly tense pause, and Bill asked in a very quiet voice, "Why ARE we sitting here 'like old married vamps'?"
Here it comes, I thought, forgetting Bill could feel all my feelings, too. But instead of speaking, he pulled me over against him and pressed his mouth to the top of my head.
I chugged my bottle of blood—I might need the energy—and leaned back into the circle of Bill's arms. His closeness filled me with calm and a deep sense of being cherished beyond measure.
"Bill, " I began, "do you remember at the Bellefleur's wedding (I could feel Bill remembering how lovely I'd looked in my bridesmaid dress), there was a man outside Belle Rive? A very elegant, very old, very beautiful man? All the vamps seemed to pay him tribute?"
"Yes," Bill said quietly. "A fairy." Not a question, but a matter of fact.
I nodded against his chest. Whoo boy, this was going to be even harder than I'd thought. "Have you ever wondered about Andre tasting my blood and finding fae influence there?" I was referring to the Queen of Louisiana's second, who had recognized in me something other than human, and had proven his suspicion by tasting me without my permission.
"You certainly felt different to me than any human I have encountered in all my years on earth." Bill reminded me, "I told you the first night I met you that I thought you were something more than human."
"So you did," I was flooded with memories of that first meeting with Bill and all the astonishing things that had happened since—perhaps the most astonishing thing of all was about to pop out of my mouth.
"Well. That man at the wedding, that fairy, is one of the oldest fairies still alive. He is a prince. And I…" I gulped a bit like I actually needed air, "…am his great granddaughter."
I felt Bill go completely still. All vampires had the ability to do this when nothing was happening around them and they needed a little down time. But Bill was wide awake, just… poised. Even though I'd had the fact of my fairy nature forced on me, I myself still found it hard to believe. I could actually feel Bill waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Suddenly, I was in a mad rush to get it all out, and my words tumbled from my mouth with increasing speed.
"His name is Niall. He actually came to the wedding to see me. But he didn't speak to me there.
"Niall contacted me later and we met at a restaurant. He told me about his son Fintan who fell in love with Gran and got her pregnant—apparently human/fae matings don't typically result in children—it seems Fintan loved my grandmother, and she loved him, so much that their love allowed a baby to happen. That baby was my dad—he was half fae, but any talents he might have had were dormant. Although I've learned that my mother's crazy love for him, and even crazier possessiveness" —here I felt Bill's arms around me tighten just a bit; vampires wrote the book on possessiveness—"was a direct effect of his very own form of fae glamour.
"You know how vamps find fairies irresistible?" I felt Bill nod slightly. "Well, my mom found my dad that same irresistible. To the point she actually overlooked me and Jason and the needs we had, in order to devote all her energy and vigilance to my dad. Remember I told you that she tried to protect me when it came to my gift? Well, she didn't really know what to do with me, so she just let me figure it all out on my own. I might not have felt so crazy if I could have confided in her more. But she just wasn't there for us.
"When Mom and Dad died, and Gran took us in, she was so understanding and supportive of my gift—I could talk to her about it and she never acted like I was a freak. Of course, I didn't know she'd had a fae lover, and knew a little something about supes. She might have told me eventually, if she hadn't been… if she hadn't died."
I stopped to catch my breath, not that I actually needed to, but I did need to slow my thoughts. I wished I could see Bill's face and I was glad I couldn't. "Bill. I'm about to tell you something that is going to hurt you. I don't want to hurt you, not any longer, but you need to know this, maybe even for your own protection."
I could feel Bill's surprise in his body and inside my head. To his credit, he merely said. "Sweetheart, you can always tell me anything. I love you."
I turned to him then. His face was tight, but I could feel his tenderness through our blood connection. "Oh Bill, do you remember all those times you told me you loved me and I just didn't get it?"
"Sookie, I remember every minute of being with you. And I remember every minute of being without you."
"I can't quite believe that I thought your love didn't matter. I thought you were dismissing my hurt and anger, like it wasn't important—like I wasn't important—and that your love took precedence over my own feelings. I actually thought you were being selfish when you told me you still loved me."
"I know," Bill said. Now THIS was getting to be a maddening habit of his!
I flared at him, "Well, here is something you don't know: last Christmas, while you were off researching in Russia, a fae man made me pregnant."
Bill didn't move. His white face visibly paled, but I felt no change in his mind. For the first time since he'd turned me, he was a closed book to me. (Note to self: learn how to close off my own mind if I need to… ) Bill's eyes, then his hand, moved to my stomach; his eyes returned to mine, his question absolutely clear.
Here came the waterworks—although I now cried tears of blood. " No. Not anymore. Niall took the baby."
If Bill was surprised before, he was shocked by these words. "But… it hasn't… it's not nine months!" Bill actually wiggled his hand inside my robe to press on my flat tummy.
"Nine months isn't necessary for the fae. Seven is actually more normal."
Bill looked more puzzled. "It couldn't have even been seven months."
I looked at him steadily. Bill reached over to wipe off the pink tears rolling down my face. "Sookie, we are barely seven months past Christmas now. I have been intimately reacquainted with you in the past few nights. Your body is not that of a recently pregnant woman."
"True," I sighed. "Niall took her at five months."
"You said… 'her'?"
I started crying again. "Yes. A girl." I took a deep breath to knock back the tears. "Niall was especially pleased by that. These days, there are many more boys born than girls. And some of the males—like my 'cousin' Claude—don't go with females, so babies are few and far between."
Bill looked sad, then thoughtful. "Why? Why would your great-grandfather do this to you? Surely he would want to protect you and make you happy?"
"I think he did, at first. But then he saw that I wasn't proud of my fae heritage—or maybe I was too proud of my human heritage—he sent me a Christmas gift. A beautiful, fae man called Preston who would not take no for an answer."
I had certainly never seen a vampire goggle before, but Bill's eyes popped. Then narrowed.
Before Bill had a chance to play the jealousy card, I said, "I think Niall wanted me pregnant with a fae baby; I think he thought I would see how silly I was being about my own fae connection. Niall must have thought I would raise a baby to know her own people and become a part of their society—the fae are dying out, and without babies, the race will disappear… I didn't really want to have sex with Preston, but I think I was magicked into it somehow."
"So he… took your baby? He took her at five months? How did he… what exactly happened, Sookie?"
"Niall came to my house—he had been checking on my progress often—I actually thought he cared about ME. Anyway, about two months ago, he came to see me in the late evening. I'd already gone to bed, but I invited him in and asked if he'd come into the bedroom so I could lie down again. I was so tired all the time by then, even though I was barely showing. He sat in the chair by the bed and started asking me questions. He'd asked me a lot of these questions before: how I would care for the baby since I had to work, how would I raise the baby, how would I school the baby, what would I tell people about the baby's origin?
"I had told him before that I didn't know all the answers yet, but that I would figure it all out. I would love this baby and make sure she had a good life. Niall had always seemed a bit dismissive of my answers, but he had never offered any specific advice. This time, he kept after me: would I tell people the baby was fae? I told him I was tired and I couldn't think, but he kept pressing. So finally, to make him go away, I told him that he must be crazy to think I'd set my own child up for failure like that; I knew how terrible it was to grow up so different from everyone around me and that my baby would have a regular life with a mother who loved her. I told him if that answer wasn't good enough, he could just get the hell out of my life."
Bill blew air through his lips—I'd rarely seen him look so flummoxed. He knew before I'd finished speaking that I'd told the Prince of the Fairies to fuck off, and that this was not going to earn me any Brownie points (GAAAA! Those damn puns!!). "I know, Bill, I know I said the wrong thing. You have no idea… how wrong it was. You weren't there."
To his credit, Bill had the grace to look chagrined. I forged on: "Niall's anger toward me was a cosmic force. I thought my house would blow up or implode or vaporize. He raged at me. How dare I deny my fae heritage? How dare I raise this baby as a human? How could I be such a disappointment to him? He did… something. I began to cramp and bleed, and I felt like someone had stuck the most powerful vacuum cleaner in the world up inside of me. I passed out.
"When I came to, Niall was gone and I was no longer pregnant.
"The bed was soaked in blood and amniotic fluid and placenta. I called Jason and he took me to the hospital. I'd lost a lot of blood" —Bill visibly flinched—"but they fixed me up, and I was back at work in a few weeks."
"But I didn't feel any of this happen to you. I felt nothing."
"That was Niall's doing," I said bitterly. "I learned the night Eric took me to meet Niall for the first time that very old, very powerful fairies can block themselves off from being seen, being smelled, being felt; even vampires won't take much notice of Niall unless he wants it."
Bill lowered his head and swung it slowly side to side. With his face tucked in his chest, he whispered, "You said… Eric?"
"That was Niall's doing also—he knows Eric is in charge and has power—Niall would not deal with someone he perceived as an underling. So he had Eric bring me to meet him."
"And where was Eric when you were attacked? Eric didn't do anything? He didn't protect you? Doesn't the King have you under his protection?"
"Eric didn't know this was happening either, Bill. Afterwards, he sent Pam to take care of me." Bill snorted at this idea. "Well, she did try—and she makes me laugh. Plus Eric's blood—and probably yours too—helped me heal faster."
"Sweetheart, I'm finding this all hard to take in."
"Believe me, I know. Just when I thought I'd got this vampire thing down, and then the were thing too, along comes a fairy and blows the whole world open all over again."
"Where is your baby now?"
"Claudine told me once that there was a place the fae can go, but no one else; I assume Niall took her there to be raised as fae."
"Sookie, you have not spoken about how you feel about all this happening."
"Well, Bill," I said heavily. "I'm here with you, aren't I? After Niall's deception and betrayal, you are my only safe place. You are my only chance at happiness."
"I betrayed you, too."
"Mmm. Well. Yes. I suppose. But I understand now that you truly had no choice. And that you didn't know you would fall in love with me."
Bill smiled at those words, then his face grew serious again. "I've made you vampire…"
"I asked you to. I wanted you to. I don't regret…" Bill interrupted me: "Sookie, we must go to see Eric."
"What for?"
"You were attacked and harmed while under his protection and the protection of the King; we won't tolerate this! Even the weres should know."
"Actually, they do." I was thinking about Sam. But I could feel the sun coming and I was worn out with re-living my ordeal. "Bill, to attack the fae would be crazy. It would start a war of such proportions, it could destroy all of us." Bill nodded.
"But I must tell Eric I have turned you. He will be furious." I actually smiled at that idea—Eric and I always seemed to set each other off.
"Oh Bill, this is all happening so fast. Can't we wait?"
"He will be even angrier if he finds out from someone other than me. He may know already."
I started to protest, and bit my lip to stop the words. I'd have to be careful about that—I drew my own blood. Bill leaned in to lick off my lip and smiled into my eyes. "My darling, together we can get through anything. But for tonight," he said in his sweet, dark voice, "let me hold you in my arms while we sleep."
And that sounded like the best idea I'd ever heard.
