Ah yes, look at my original title. You know, you'd think that I'd have this in the bag because I've got Alice in Wonderland, but Idk wtf I'm doing here. Also, I'm very tired because of this thing called band camp (shout out to all you marchers).

Prompts:
-Clumsy
-Gamble
-"If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it." -Andy Rooney

Disclaimer: I don't own a thing


Pansy in Wonderland

Pansy was wandering around on the green meadow next to the Great Lake at Hogwarts. She wasn't really paying attention to where she was going, so she was quite surprised when her foot got caught in a rabbit hole and she fell.

"Clumsy me," she muttered. Her head hurt, and she couldn't focus because little black ants were crawling all over her and covering her eyes. All she could see was black.

When colors became something for her to see again, she realized she wasn't on the meadow at Hogwarts anymore.

Shit.

How the hell was she going to get back?

She stood up, a little wobbly on her feet, and took in her surroundings. To her left, there were flowers tittering and gossiping. To her right, a group of birds appeared to be… gambling? Birds didn't gamble. Flowers didn't giggle over nonsense gossip. She scowled and pinched herself.

Nothing.

Well, she wasn't dreaming.

"Pansy Parkinson?" came a voice. Pansy whirled around.

"Loony... um, Luna Lovegood?"

"Hello, Pansy," Lovegood said, her eyes glazing over slightly. "How'd you get here?"

"I hit my head… Um, where exactly is here?"

"Well, it's not there," Lovegood said, pointing to the area next to her. She smiled and started singing.

I'm always here,

I'm never there,

I'm never, ever anywhere,

Excepting here, 'cause here is where I'm in.

But when I go from here to there,

My here comes with me everywhere,

'Till there is here, and here is where I've been.

Pansy stared, entranced by the lovely girl's voice. She shook her head, snapping out of it.

"Pretty song, Lovegood, but that doesn't exactly answer the question," Pansy snapped.

"What question?"

Pansy huffed, and repeated her question. "And don't start singing again," she warned.

"Oh, we're in Wonderland," Luna answered as if it was no big deal.

"Wonderland?"

"Oh, yes, I'm a descendant of Alice."

"Alice?"

"Oh, yes," Luna said before she began to sing.

Alice in Wonderland,

How do you get to Wonderland?

Over the hill or under land,

Or just behind the tree?

"That's nice and all," Pansy interrupted, "but how do we get back to Hogwarts?"

"Oh, we just have to wait for Cheshire to come around. He always has the answers. He's always smiling too, even when no one is around. You know, if you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it. Which is good for him because he'll live longer. You should smile more often."

Pansy blinked, not really sure what to say. Luckily, she didn't have to think of anything because a white rabbit hopped right between the two girls, nearly knocking Pansy over.

I'm late, I'm late,

For a very important date,

No time to say hello, goodbye!

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

As he sang this, he hopped around the girls in circles.

"Oh, I haven't met you before," Luna said cheerily. "How far along are you?"

The white rabbit stumbled over his feet as he came to a stop. "What?"

"When is the baby due?"

"What baby?"

"The one that you're having."

The rabbit puffed out his chest. "I'll have you know," he said, standing up tall and puffing out his chest, "that I am a male rabbit."

"So?" Pansy asked. "Men can have babies."

The white rabbit rolled his eyes. "Oh, how liberal of you." He huffed and thumped his foot. "But I'm not pregnant."

"Well, then what are you?" Luna asked.

"I'm late!" the rabbit said, holding up his watch. He dashed off, leaving the two girls alone.

"Come along, then," Luna said. She beamed, and, taking Pansy's hand, she pulled her towards a path that seemed to have appeared from nowhere.

"Are we going to see Cheshire?" Pansy asked.

"Oh, no, we're going to talk to him after tea."

"Tea?" Pansy asked, her brows furrowed together like a little caterpillar. "What about going back to Hogwarts?"

"Oh, yes, but I promised Hatter, Hare, and Dormouse that I'd stop by for tea the next time I was here, and, well, here I am again. I don't break promises." Luna's light-hearted tone had turned serious, and Pansy was taken aback.

In no time, they reached a clearing in the forest, where a large table was set up. On the table were dozens of teapots, teacups, and tea cakes. A brown rabbit—a hare—was avidly listening to a teapot while a man in a tall, green hat buttered a tea saucer. As soon as the two girls stepped into the clearing, the man and the hare looked up.

"Luna!" they cried, and a tiny mouse head peeped out of the tea pot.

"Luna!" cried the tiny voice of the tiny mouse.

"Hello, Hatter, Hare, Dormouse! I brought a friend. This is Pansy."

Pansy gave a tentative wave, but she couldn't stop thinking about how Lovegood had called her a friend. Were they friends?

Luna guided Pansy to a seat and sat in the one next to her.

"How's Wonderland been doing since I've last been here?"

"Oh, well, the queen, she actually likes white roses now, so she's having all of her card guards replanting her rose bushes. Of course, they're painting the roses white, but you didn't hear it from me," the Hatter said.

"My lips are sealed," Luna said, pouring herself a cup of tea before she offered the teapot to Pansy.

"Thanks," Pansy said quietly. She poured herself a cup of tea, took a sip, and turned her attention to the conversation the Hare was having with the Dormouse.

"It's not like I can do anything about it," the Dormouse said. "You shouldn't keep me from having tea because it's not my unbirthday."

"Yes, we should. This tea is for those celebrating their unbirthday, and since today is your birthday, you can't have any." The Hare turned his attention to Pansy. "It is your unbirthday, right?"

"Yes," Pansy replied, not exactly sure of what an unbirthday was, but she thought she had a pretty good idea.

The conversation carried on for a bit, and Pansy found that she was enjoying herself. Tea time was over the moment she finished her tea. Luna grabbed her hand again, which caused Pansy to blush, and pulled her away from the table.

"Now, where are we going?" Pansy asked when they were on another path in the woods.

"Oh, we're just going to wander around, enjoy the scenery. Stay away from any flowers, though."

"Why?"

"They're quite rude," Luna explained.

"No, I mean, why are we just wandering around?"

"Oh, well, Cheshire just appears, you can't really go looking for him."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when he wants to find you, he'll find you."

"So, we're trapped here until Cheshire just decides to appear?"

"Oh, yes."

They walked for a little while in silence before Pansy asked: "How many times have you been here?"

"Oh, dozens of times."

"Then why don't you know how to get home? I mean, you've visited so often, shouldn't you know the way by now?"

"Oh, no, see, it changes every time."

"That's annoying," Pansy muttered. She wasn't sure if Luna heard her, because a musical laugh sounded from the tree next to them.

"Cheshire!" Luna exclaimed.

"Hello, Luna," said a smiling set of teeth.

"I see what you mean about the smiling thing," Pansy muttered.

"I see you've brought a friend this time," Cheshire said, and Pansy scratched the back of her head.

"Oh, yes," said Luna, "and we're rather eager to get home."

"Well," said the smiling teeth. A set of eyes appeared above the teeth. "It's very simple." A head. A cat's head. Huh. "You see," the cat said as the rest of it's body appeared, "You've just got to tell each other a secret."

"Sounds simple," Pansy said.

"One," the cat continued, "that no one else knows."

Pansy frowned, and turned to look at Luna. The blonde girl was just smiling.

"Well," Cheshire said, "I"ll just leave you alone."

He disappeared, all but his smile, and the smile floated away.

"Well," said Pansy, turning to face Luna. "You can go first."

"Hmmm," the girl hummed. She appeared to be thinking hard. Pansy liked how she could tell when Luna had thought of her secret to share. Her entire face lit up and she smiled, much like Cheshire Cat had. "I've always wanted to dye my hair purple," she said. Her feet were no longer touching the ground and Pansy found she was able to look in her eyes.

"Shit," Pansy said under her breath, because those were a pair of eyes that had been haunting her dreams. She gathered her courage. "I've always wondered…" she took a breath, "I've always wondered what it would be like to kiss you."

A gust of wind blew the two girls upwards, and Pansy closed her eyes. When she felt her feet on solid ground again, she was surprised to also feel a pair of soft lips on hers. Her eyes flew open, but quickly fell shut again because she realized that Luna was kissing her.

Kissing Luna quickly became her new favorite activity, and Wonderland soon became her new favorite place.


Thanks to my teammates as always. Also, the two songs, the first one I stole from Fraggle Rock (but one of my teammates (hi Frida) says that she knows it as well in Swedish, so I don't know if Jim Henson stole it from somewhere or what and I'm too lazy to look it up). The second song is actually from Alice in Wonderland. As well as the third song (I totally forgot that was there until I looked it over and the backspace is too far away)

You guys should leave me a review (please)

~Al (littlebluespacemoth)