A/N: Hey guys! So I was trying to get this chapter done so that I could post it in the early hours of the morning again but that clearly ended up not working. I'm a bit conflicted about this chapter, there are definitely some parts that I like more than others but what can you do? There are some parts in here that I took from CoHF so just know that I am definitely not Cassie Clare and I don't own the Mortal Instruments.

This chapter is also told from Alec's pov because that was the only way I could get this to work.


Dear Alec,

It's been a while since the last time I've seen you. I thought that I would be able to move on by now but the truth is, it actually hurts more. I miss you so much. I miss your beautiful blue eyes and raven black hair, I miss the feel of your skin, I miss the sound of your voice. I grow more miserable with everyday that passes me by but I'm not strong enough to admit to you just how much I want you, how much I need you. At least not in person.

You call and text me everyday and I never respond, not because I'm still angry but because I am afraid. Afraid that if I do pick up that phone, there will be nothing to stop me from telling you the real reason behind why I broke up with you. Yes, I was upset by you going to Camille but I got over it fairly quickly. The real reason why I broke up with you is because I love you. I love you with every fiber of my body, with every beat of my heart, in both the light and dark recesses of my soul, I love you. And it was this love that made it impossible to bear even the thought of you being torn away from me.

You are a Shadowhunter and it is no secret that most of you die young, brutally cut down before your prime. You could be taken away from me at any moment. And even if the blood of the Nephilim didn't run through your veins and you were just an ordinary human, our time would still be limited. I would still have to deal with you growing old and dying while I remained untouched by time and broken without my other half. I have a warlock friend who was married to a mortal man. The way that they were together- he looked at her as if she had strung the stars up in the sky one by one. It took just one glance in their direction to know that they were in love. But of course like all mortals, he died. They had been married for decades, they had kids and even grand kids but he still died just the same. I saw how it broke her. She came to me, asking how I did it, how I managed to not feel the pain but the hard truth is that immortality doesn't make you indifferent to death. Each one hurts just as much as the last but since we are immortal we are forced to look the unbearable in the face and bear it. But, for some reason, I couldn't bear this. I told you one day how I had thought about the idea of losing you and how I would never be okay with it and that still proves to be true.

As we grow older warlocks start to calcify. We stop being able to feel even the most basic emotions that make living worthwhile. I had thought that would never happen to me. That I would always fall in love, be surprised, be open to hurt as much as I was open to being happy. But it's been creeping up on me for the last twenty years or so and I didn't even realize until you came along. Before you, there has been no one that I loved for a very long time. Until the day you walked into my party, I had begun to think that I would never be able to feel the way you make me feel everyday. That no one would ever be able to surprise me or take my breath away. You showed me the path that I would end up on if I continued the way that I was and you showed me that I don't want that. You showed me that even if this does end badly there is no one that I would rather have my heart broken by than you. Which is why I am doing this right now. Why I am doing something that I have never done before in all the years I have been alive: I am telling you the story of my life.

You were right when you said our pasts are what make us who we are now. If you never tell anyone the truth about yourself, eventually you start to forget. The love, the heartbreak, the joy, the despair, the things I did that were good and the things I did that were shameful-if I kept all of them inside, my memories of them would start to disappear. And then I would disappear.

This isn't everything yet but it is some of the incidents that have shaped me into the person I am today. Consider this the first installment of everything I want to tell you. I had hoped while writing them down that you would take them as evidence that I want to share my life with you. That means today, the future, and all of my past, if you want it.

If you want me.

By the time Alec reached the end of the letter he could barely see beyond the blurriness of his unshed tears. Magnus wanted him? Magnus needed him? Magnus still wanted to be together? He had finally worked past his fears and was going to tell Alec about his past?

Mere minutes ago it had looked like Magnus was preparing to break Alec's heart again but now he was fulfilling the young Shadowhunter's every daydream and every wish.

He folded the papers back up, placed them into his pocket and stood up. He looked up at the staircase. Magnus was somewhere up there, waiting for his reaction. And with that thought he started up the stairs, ready to tell the warlock exactly what was in his mind.


When the door swung open, Magnus looked surprised at seeing him again so soon.

"Alec-" He started but let trail off, not knowing what to say.

Alec suddenly didn't feel so confident anymore-if you could say he was confident in the first place. He didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to say. With Magnus standing in front of him, very much real, the words that were buzzing around in his head left him. He was left speechless. It had been so easy for the words to spill out of him before Magnus had bared his soul but now...he had nothing.

Instead of his previous happiness and feelings of relief it almost felt like he were perched on the edge of a cliff and what happened next would determine whether they would stand or fall together. Alec was now terrified. Standing in front of him was everything that he wanted but it almost felt too good to be true. Here was Magnus, looking more open and vulnerable than Alec had ever seen him before, professing his love for him and promising to finally tell him about his past. But a little voice in the back of his head wouldn't let him forget that there was a part of Magnus that was capable of ripping out his heart and breaking it into a million pieces without even looking back.

He could walk away from this, meet someone else, live a safe and predictable life, everyday planned out with no variation for however many years he had left. Or he could go down this wild and crazy path where everyday was a different adventure and there were no real guarantees...it was hardly a choice at all.

He took the plunge, moving forward until he was toe to toe and chest to chest and nose to nose with Magnus. Their lips touched and he suddenly felt whole again. All the little pieces that were broken and swept away with the wind after the event coming back together and turning his world right side up again.

"All right." Alec said when they finally broke away.

Magnus caught his chin with a long fingered hand and looked into Alec's eyes, barely guarded hope shining in his own golden-green ones.

"Really?"

There was no turning back now and Alec was completely fine with that. He nodded his head and said, "Really."

Magnus leaned forward again, smashing their lips together in a passionate kiss that Alec never wanted to end. After being away from this man for so long, he wanted to spend his whole life making up for lost time. They kissed again and again and again until it felt like he was going to collapse into a puddle at the warlock's feet.

They were gasping and panting and so close yet not close enough and before he even knew what was happening, he was being pinned against canary yellow sheets and neither of them were wearing a shirt and he couldn't think about anything but Magnus. Everything was Magnus.

"Alexander-" Magnus breathed out, his breath hot against the skin of the boys neck, "Tell me if you want me to stop."

Alec wrapped his arms tighter around the warlock's back, bringing him even closer, "I never want you to stop."


A few hours later, they were lying under the covers, skin completely bare, and wrapped up in each others embrace. Alec couldn't tell where he ended from where Magnus began and he didn't mind. Nothing could bother him as he lay there with Magnus' head in the crook of his neck, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into his skin and lulling him to sleep.

The thing that startled him out of his stupor was the sound of a cat meowing. He looked down over the side of the bed and found the Chairman looking up at him, almost expectantly.

Alec reached down and picked up the small cat, bringing him up into the bed with them. The small creature immediately started to purr and curled up onto the boys' chest. Alec couldn't help but think about how different this cat was from Church, who liked to claw and hiss more than snuggle.

"The Chairman missed you." Magnus informed him, murmuring against his skin.

"I missed him too." He smiled down fondly at the cat before turning his gaze back to Magnus, "I missed both of you."

Magnus smiled sleepily, white teeth gleaming in the dark room, before leaning over and pressing his lips to Alec's.


A/N: Awww Malec is canon again. This was originally supposed to be a lemon but I figured it would ruin the moment so it got brushed over. And I realized that I completely forgot about the Chairman in the last chapter so I snuck him in at the end.

I hope you guys liked this and as always feel free to follow, favorite and review! ;)