When the Past and Present Collide

"Are you going to let me in?"

She stared back at him as he leaned against her doorway; a smile of arrogance on his face, so confident he was of himself and his appeal. She pondered the question for several minutes; wondering why she hadn't already closed the door in his face.

"It's late," she responded easily, pulling the collar of her robe closer together.

He smirked at her attempt at modesty, as if he hadn't already seen everything she had. "I know but I just got in and I always come to see you when I get in."

"Yeah well that pattern needs to stop; I told you that last time," she countered firmly. The last time he was here, almost a year ago, she made a mistake; a big one and she hated herself for the moment of weakness where she took him to her bed. It was stupid; she was lonely and she felt weak. Immediately regretting her decision, she reaffirmed that they were over and that a momentary lapse in judgment did not change that fact.

"I know, I know…but I have something I need to tell you and I'd prefer not to do it on your porch. So please Via, can I come in…just to talk?"

She flinched at his use of the nickname. She hated that name and every memory associated with it. She felt nothing for him now. Their relationship was over completely and she was not pining over lost love. And it was the strength of that conviction which made her comfortable enough to invite him into her home.

"You've changed things around a bit," Matthias Hunter said as he took in his surroundings. He sat without being asked to and patted the spot next to him for her to join him. She stood instead. His arrogance had really gotten out of control; intolerable really and it wasn't attractive; she found it quite repulsive.

"Can you please tell me you would like to say…I was getting ready to go to bed." He arched an eyebrow at the double entendre but she frowned and crossed her arms over her chest; she wasn't going to indulge his fantasy, not even a bit.

"I've always regretted how things went down with us…I'm sorry Via. I really did…do love you and I'm sorry. I know I've said it before and I know you don't believe me but it's true." There was nothing in her expression that gave him any indication as to what she was thinking. He continued, "You're with someone now?"

She didn't respond. He knew damn well she was seeing someone. She had no doubt that the rumor of her relationship with Fitz had reached his ears well before he came back to Catalina. Despite this knowledge, he still came to her home trying to rekindle an emotional attachment. He was testing the waters; trying to gauge whether he still had a hold on her.

"Everybody's talking about him…can't go anywhere without hearing his name," he chuckled humorlessly and Olivia knew he was jealous. "Anyway you look good, beautiful, like you always did. I miss you Via. I really do. You'll always be the one...If only things were different."

She still said nothing.

He exhaled sharply. "You can let your guard down. I didn't come here to sleep with you or anything like that. I came to congratulate you for moving on and to tell you that I'm engaged. I'm getting married. We're getting married here…in Catalina…next year."

Olivia thought she would be devastated to hear that type of news; not for losing him but for the fact that he had moved on quicker than she had. He had found someone to spend the rest of his life with; she had not. But oddly, Olivia felt nothing at all – no pain, no grief, no heartache. She felt nothing. It was as if someone had just updated her on the evening weather; it was that inconsequential.

He hadn't changed; selfish, greedy and inconsiderate. Only Matthias would come here to tell her how much he loved and missed her and in the same breath tell her he was engaged to be married to someone else. He had too much confidence in his good looks and charming ways; always assuming that it gave him license to act any way he pleased. Admittedly, he was attractive; his Hispanic and African-American descent gave him features that made more than a few women turn their heads and stare. But as Olivia studied him, she realized how he paled in comparison to Fitz. He wasn't as tall; he wasn't as attractive; he wasn't as kind and giving and he wasn't as mature. To top it off, his voice grated in her ears and it was an irritant. Had she not paid attention to that before? The deep, richness of Fitz's voice made her tingle all over, while Matthias' voice made her want to put her hands over her ears to block out the sound.

"I'm happy for you. I can't wait to meet her," Olivia said sincerely and Matthias frowned. He expected a different reaction; something that demonstrated how sorry she was that she could never have him; something to boost his ego but it wasn't there and he was left entirely unsatisfied.

"She'll be here in a few weeks. I'll be sure to introduce you then. Who knows, maybe we can double date." He chuckled at the suggestion.

The silence set in and Olivia figured that was all he needed to say so she moved towards the door and opened it for him to leave. "Goodnight Matthias."

"Goodnight Via," he said, hesitant as he dragged himself to the door. He went to kiss her on the cheek but she moved her head and took a step back, rejecting his advances. The shocked look on his face was priceless. He had no claim to her heart; the link was completely broken and nothing he could do would make her feel anything for him again.

When Olivia closed the door behind him, her smiled beamed. That chapter of her life was closed completely. And she would never wish for anything different.

XXXXXX

To Fitz, the past few weeks, since they returned from LA, things with Olivia felt different; not bad, just different. He couldn't say for certainty what it was; outwardly everything was as it always had been. She was just as caring and passionate but something was still off. She seemed more intense; almost desperate to make the most of their time together. It was as if she was soaking in every minute like they were running out of time. As if any moment could be their last because she expected their relationship to end. As far as Fitz was concerned, this was ridiculous and nothing could be farther from the truth. He thought back to their conversation the night of the party, replaying the words in his mind. He was confident that he had assured her of his affections.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have listened in your conversation, it's none of my business what you do with your ex-wife," she said breathlessly when he finally cornered her in a secluded hallway.

"You really believe that! After everything…how could you believe that!" he was outraged. His voice was harsh. He knew she was trying to pull back and if he let her she would run away from him.

His outrage fueled her anger. To Olivia, he had no right to be angry; he had nothing to be angry about.

In her frustration, she yelled back, "What the hell else am I supposed to believe!...You didn't tell me about the film offer…You didn't tell me you would be gone for 9 months…You didn't tell me that your ex-wife would be the lead actress on the film; that you would be on location in another country with her…The ex-wife who just asked you to father a child for her!..I'm the only one standing here looking like a damn idiot Fitzgerald…I'm the only one in the dark so yeah the only thing I can think is that it's none of my business because otherwise you would have told me!"

Her chest was heaving and she was panting. She tried to catch her breath and calm down. She didn't like this; she didn't want to feel this way. It was better to just walk away now before her feelings got too invested in him.

The hurt in her eyes instantly softened him. "Liv…" he moved to touch her but she stepped away. He wouldn't let her retreat; he pulled her into his arms. She was stiff at first but he held her until he felt her body relax and respond to him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry Liv. I should've told you but I wasn't 100% certain I was going to take the offer. I was still considering it. I don't want to be away from you that long. But I should have included you in the decision. It affects you as much as it affects me…But I'm not taking the job."

Olivia pulled out of his embrace. "You're taking the job Fitz."

"Liv, I'm not…" He tried to approach again but she held her hand up to stall him.

"Yes you are…you are not going to refuse a film because of me. You're taking it. Don't worry about me. I'm here; I'm not going anywhere. But you're taking the job." Her sincerity was evident. There was no way she was going to make him miss an opportunity to do his job because of her. She would never force him to stay by her side knowing that there would be a possibility that he could later resent her for it.

She finally let him approach her; she wasn't resisting anymore. He caressed her face; marveled by the feel of her soft skin. "Liv we are going to be together. It's not an ideal situation but I want to be with you; nothing's going to change that. No one is going to come between that." He was so sure; so confident that it would all work out and it warmed her heart. She could give him a small smile to acknowledge his statement; even if she didn't quite believe it to be possible.

"Don't move…you promised you wouldn't move."

"Liv, baby, I can't help but move."

"Do you want me to stop?" she teased.

"God no!"

"Good, cause I couldn't even if I tried," she jokingly whispered in his ear. She loved touching his body and now as he lay naked on his stomach; it was hers for the taking. She wanted to give him a massage. He had been tense and irritable; fighting with Alex for several days over some boy she wanted to go hang out with. When Olivia invited him over, she already had the mood set. The room was dimly lit, lightly scented candles were everywhere and music on low in the background.

"I've wanted to touch you like this since I met you," she said as she applied gentle pressure with her fingertips; tracing slow circular patterns up and down the sides of his spine. She moved from the muscles around the spine to the shoulders, in between the shoulder blades and up to the back of the neck. She ran her fingers through the curls she loved so much before repeating the pattern up and down his body.

"You didn't like me when we first met," he recalled.

"I liked you…I just liked you too much."

She reached for a small amount of massage oil and warmed it in her hands. Her bare breasts grazing against his back caused him to moan at the feeling and he moved to turn around. She laughed and pushed him back down, "You promised remember."

"Liv you're practically naked on top of me and I can't touch you; this should have been explained to me in the beginning because I never would have agreed to it."

"I know that's why I didn't tell you."

She began to apply more firm pressure with her entire hand. She started at his lower back then slowly stroking all the way up to the neck, then back down again. She repeated this pattern for several minutes. "You have a scar here on the back of your shoulder, what happened?"

He was so relaxed, he began to feel drowsy. "mmm? Oh Jackson. My brother shot me with a pellet gun when we were kids." She gasped in outrage and he chuckled at her reaction. "We were just playing around. Gerry told us not to take it out without him but we didn't listen. We both ended up in trouble, even though I was the one who got shot."

"Why do you call your father by his first name?"

"Since we were adults we've always done it. It seems so natural now that I don't even think about it. It's just that he's never been the dad-type to either of us. He's our father but a dad, no."

There was no sadness in his voice; only resignation. Yet, still felt the need to comfort him. She bent down and splayed soft, featherlike kisses on his scar. "Liv you can't do that if you don't want me to flip you over."

She laughed. "Ok sorry." She used the heel of her hand to apply more pressure to his muscles. Using slow, circular strokes with both hands she moved outward from the upper back toward the center; down and up again.

"That feels good…Do I even want to know how many guys you've done this for?"

She smiled as she began cooling him down with her fingertips by kneading the muscles on his shoulders and up and down his back again. "You're my first," she quietly admitted.

The admission had an effect on him. He couldn't wait any longer and careful not to hurt her, he turned them both over so that she now lay underneath him; her laughter echoed through the bedroom and filled him with contentment.

"I love you Liv."

Her breath was caught and all merriment vanished from her face. Her eyes started to tear up as the fear and apprehension took over. Everything inside her began warring against itself; telling her to push forward, warning her to hang back. The moment was so fragile; almost like a sliver of something that could be broken easily. She searched his blue eyes, watching as they transformed from fierce to soft and warm in seconds. He understood; he knew she wouldn't say the words. And the flicker of sadness came and went. She wanted to fix it; make it right; assure him that she felt the same. He deserved to know how she felt.

But all she could see was the fact that he would be leaving in less than two months and when he found out the truth, the likelihood that he would not return to her was blinding. She could tell him now; it was the perfect opportunity but still she refrained. And every day the premonition that he would find her lie unforgivable was growing stronger and stronger.

I love you too. She could say it over and over in her heart; desperate for him to hear through the silence. She searched for the courage to say it out loud but it never came.

He kissed her forehead, gliding his hands up and down her body; soothing her anxiety. "I love you," he said again. He watched as she opened her mouth, wanting to say something but she couldn't. And he wouldn't force it. "It's OK," he whispered against her lips.

Olivia kissed him first. She was frantic, urgent, and hungry for him. She needed him to know that everything in her yearned for him; wanted him and loved him. She opened her mouth and slid her tongue against his; tasting the familiarity of him. She was aggressive, intense; ready to claim him as her possession.

She brought her hands up to his face; holding him in place while she consumed to her fill. Her hands traveled through his curls, across his broad shoulders and down his spine. She pulled him into her; wanting him closer, with nothing in between.

Fitz groaned, delighted by her eagerness. He began trailing kisses down her body until he got to her breasts. He could worship them for days; giving them all the attention they deserved and he did. She arched her back encouraging his attention and he sucked at them until they became taut bulbs in his mouth. It was painful at times but she wanted it; she wanted all of it.

He traveled further down to her lace underwear; toying with the edges; easing them down slowly, torturously. He kissed and sucked at her hipbone; her mound; the insides of her thighs. Olivia was panting in anticipation; fighting to find the control she needed but it was futile. She looked down, saw his head between her legs and lifted her hips in urgency. When he didn't immediately give her what she wanted she begged, "Fitz please…please."

Then she felt it; his tongue tracing circles around her clit and Olivia's world went dark. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head as she gasped trying to find her next breath. Her hands were balled in fists, clenching the bed sheets. Slow, then quicker, and then slow again - it was maddening and she cried his name over and over again. Then he pushed her legs wider apart and sent his tongue directly inside her center. Her body was bucking uncontrollably; she couldn't think, she could only feel these intense sensations pulsating through her body and she was wracked with them over and over again until she completely exploded with the moans loud enough to reverberate through the entire house.

Her body went limp against the bed as she sighed in satisfaction. Fitz lifted both of her legs on his shoulders for which she was thankful as she doubted she could lift them herself. He braced himself over her and thrust inside full tilt. He paused as he watched the expression on her face, "Am I hurting you? Are you ok?"

She smiled at his concern. He was large and it took a moment for her to adjust to him but she loved the feel of him completely filling her. "Don't pull out, not yet. I love the feel of our bodies together like this," she said.

Fitz remained still for as long as he could. But when he could take no more, he bent down, captured her lips; taking in her moans as he rocked the bed by his movements – in and out of her. The position and movement created a throbbing need in her core and she began meeting him, matching his rhythm, encouraging him to go harder and harder. She grabbed his shoulders, sending her nails into his skin, marking him as she rode the waves that made them both crash together in the end.

XXXXXX

"Are you going to be okay with Fitz leaving?" Jenny asked her as she stood next to her on the beach waiting for the firework show to start. Fitz, Stephen and the girls had gone to get refreshments.

In the past several weeks, Stephen and Jenny's relationship had progressed solidly. Surprisingly, Stephen's maturity was becoming more evident and he found that he really liked having Jenny around. Olivia could tell they were starting to fall in love.

Olivia also got to know Jenny more and really liked her. She was young, impulsive, a little immature and feisty but she was a good person at heart. Jenny even got a job at the local television station and had a goal of becoming an on-air personality. She was a college graduate and had the looks for television, so she believed that eventually the job would be hers. The acting bug had left her, at least for the time being.

"I'll miss him but it's a great opportunity and we will be fine," it was a partial lie, but mostly the truth.

Jenny didn't pay much attention to Olivia's answer. In truth she had only asked the question to be polite and to open up the conversation. "Mmm Olivia, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure."

Jenny looked around to make sure no one could overhear them. "Have you ever been with a man and he had trouble…you know?"

"Trouble what?" Olivia asked curiously.

Jenny bit her lip in nervousness. She didn't want to do this but there wasn't anyone else she felt comfortable enough with to ask. "If he can't you know….get it up….perform?"

Olivia's eyes widened. Did Stephen have a sex problem? The king of one-night stands couldn't get a hard on? Olivia wanted to laugh but Jenny's face was filled with worry and she controlled herself.

"Are you saying that Stephen couldn't get an erection? Was this the first time or has it happened before?"

"It's the second time. I'm younger than him so I don't know if I'm wearing him out or what is going on. I asked him about it but he said it was nothing and not to worry about it. What do you think? Should I be worried?"

"Jenny, I'm sure everything is fine. I've known Stephen a long time and I'm sure based on his…you know lifestyle…he couldn't possibly have that problem."

"Then it's worse than I thought…it must be me….he's no longer attracted to me," Jenny cried, her eyes beginning to pool with tears. "He doesn't want me anymore Olivia."

Olivia hugged her and spoke comfortingly, "Jenny, you're exaggerating and drawing unnecessary conclusions. Stephen could have just been tired. I'm sure it's nothing more than that."

"What's the matter with you?" Alex asked as she walked up with the others.

"Nothing's wrong Alex. Jenny is fine," Olivia quickly explained.

"Jenny, what's the matter?" Stephen asked worriedly.

Jenny looked at him with tear-filled eyes and pointed an angry finger in his chest, "It's not my fault that you can't get it up…It's not my fault." Jenny ran off the beach leaving Stephen looking dumfounded.

"What the hell did you say to her Liv?"

"I didn't say anything Stephen. You should go after her," Olivia prompted and he took off in the same direction.

Fitz leaned over and whispered in her ear, "Just for the record I would never have that problem."

Olivia laughed and playfully shoved him in the arm for the insensitive joke.

XXXXXX

"Fitz, you're letting him win. Why are you doing that? Just get the game over with," Olivia pleaded as she felt him trail kisses down her neck; settling on the spot right behind her ear. The poker game was on a 30 minute break and Fitz pulled her into a secluded closet at the back of the theater. The intensity of the game had left him aroused and he needed to be with her right at that moment.

Fitz didn't have a strong competitive spirit. He was neither a sore loser nor an obnoxious winner. It was more about the enjoyment of the game and how it challenged his mind. But every once in a while, he was challenged by someone who thought too highly of themselves and deserved to be humiliated in the worse way. Today, that person was Matthias. He had challenged Fitz to a game of poker and Fitz accepted.

For the past couple of years, it had become a tradition to hold a Fourth of July Casino Night fundraiser at the Avalon Theater. The monies would be divided among several local charities and foundations. Matthias was a Sr. CPA at a large corporation in LA but continued to offer his expertise in making sure the monies were appropriated to the proper organizations.

"Stephen already lost all his money and the other two players are about to lose too…I know you can read his tells, so why are you letting him win?"

Fitz wasn't paying attention, he knew what he was doing and right now he was more focused on removing her underwear from beneath the tight black dress she was wearing.

In frustration, Olivia grabbed his face, forcing him to look her in the eye. "Fitz please." She knew Matthias was jealous of Fitz and wanted to show everyone he could beat him. Olivia desperately wanted him to lose. More than anything, she wanted Matthias to be humbled.

"Liv, I know how to play poker and I know what I'm doing. He won't win. I promise you…Now can you please stop talking about the game for next 20 minutes."

He was confident in his ability and just as determined to win. Olivia smiled, finally believing he knew exactly what he was doing.

She started stroking the back of his hair. She smiled mischievously and in a throaty whisper said, "20 minutes?...Why?"

She giggled as Fitz showed her everything he could accomplish in 20 minutes.

XXXXXX

They were a little late getting back to the game. Matthias and the dealer were already seated. He took in their appearance; especially noting Olivia's flushed cheeks, slightly disheveled hair and glowing smile. He knew exactly what made them late to the game and it angered him, intensely. This was not the Olivia he knew; she was never like this with him – so carefree, uninhibited and happy. It was more than her beauty that captivated him; she now exuded an undeniable sexuality.

"Sorry I'm late," Fitz said coolly as he laid his jacket on the back of his chair and resumed his seat.

"No problem. The rest of the game should go pretty quickly," Matthias boasted.

Fitz smirked, recognizing it to be a taunt to get him angry; throw him off his game but he didn't fall for it. He refused to be baited.

Olivia brought him a glass of scotch. Fitz caught her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist. She gave him the biggest smile of encouragement before stepping back away from the table.

Fitz noted the spark of anger in Matthias' eyes and it was starting to affect his confidence. He started down a spiraling path of bad decisions that Fitz knew would eventually cost him the entire game. He had spent most of the game studying Matthias' technique, his tells and his strategy for winning. It didn't take much for Fitz to figure him out.

"All in," Matthias betted as he pushed all his chips to the center of the table. He smiled, knowing he would win what was sure to be the last hand. He could already taste his guaranteed victory over Fitzgerald Grant. He looked over at Olivia and proudly winked.

Fitz took one final look at his cards and watched Matthias' face. The theater was abuzz with games being played; gamblers laughing, shouting in triumph over their winnings and the ringing of slot machines but Fitz tuned it all out. He could see in Matthias' eyes that he was not bluffing. He really believed he had the winning hand.

Fitz pushed all his chips to the center of the table and called the play.

It was now time for each player to show his hand.

XXXXXX

"Why weren't you ever like that with me Via?" Matthias asked. Olivia had just exited the ladies room and was a bit taken aback to find him waiting there for her.

"What?..What are you doing here? Are you drunk?"

"I was good to you. Why weren't you ever like that with me?" he sounded desperate and sad, or so she thought, until the nastiness surfaced, "You let him fuck you tonight…right here…in a public place and you enjoyed it. I could see it in your face; you wanted it….You were never like that with me."

Olivia gasped at his crudeness and watched as he pushed off the wall, swaying as he walked over to her.

"Matthias you're drunk and you need to go home and sleep it off. Let's forget this conversation ever happened."

"You suck his dick too? You wrap those pretty lips around his dick and let him cum in your mouth don't you? I could never get you to do that with me," he hissed in her face, "Or maybe you were always a slut deep down inside."

Olivia slapped his face hard. His vulgarity sent her over the edge. "You need to watch your mouth Matthias!"

It was a shock to him and he touched the side of his throbbing face. He then grabbed her and pinned her against the wall trying to kiss her, while she struggled and pushed against him in a vain effort to get him off of her. She was no match for his strength but she didn't give up fighting him.

Suddenly Fitz appeared and pulled him off of her. Fitz punched him in the face and Matthias landed on the ground with a loud thud. He grabbed his nose as blood started seeping through his fingers; Fitz had broken his nose.

"You son of a bitch; you broke my nose…you broke my nose. I'm pressing charges. I'm gonna get your ass arrested," Matthias yelled, still in agony on the floor.

Fitz ignored him and turned his attention back to Olivia. "Liv, baby, are you OK?" Olivia nodded and gave him a small smile; she was mute, still trying to process what could have happened if Fitz hadn't showed up. She never would've imagined that Matthias could attack her like this, but when he lost the poker game earlier in the evening, a look came over him that she had never seen before. The anger at losing to Fitz seemed to overtake him and the alcohol certainly did not help.

"Let's go home," Fitz said as he put his jacket around her and brought her to his side. Olivia looked up at the man who truly did love her; the one gave her everything, more than she ever expected. Her throat was burning; the tears were coming but not from anything Matthias had done. It was from the reminder that soon he wouldn't be there for her. The future was not on their side and she could never hope for a forever with him. She would have to remain content with what the present could offer.

They started walking away, ignoring Matthias until he called out, "He won't marry you Via. You think he will but he won't. He'll leave you just like I did."

The harsh words made her stiffen but Fitz just brought her closer to his side, hoping that the comfort he gave would be enough to block out all the hurt.

(A/N: Hello all. I can't believe I was able to update this so quickly but this story is connecting with me right now and has me all up in my OLITZ feels. I'm so excited for tomorrow's episode (Please Shonda, don't let me down.). Thank you everyone who sounded off on their opinion of last weeks episode. It was comforting to me to know that I felt the same as many of you. But hey, we are in this struggle together...the endgame is OLITZ (ride or die!).

Thanks for reading this chapter, I hope you enjoyed it. Fitz of course was awesome; Liv is tortured but she is not running or hiding from Fitz, which is good. Jenny is growing in her relationship with Stephen...baby steps but there is slight progress. And Matthias is a mess. He's not going away quite yet but he's quite entertaining. Thanks again and I look forward to your feedback and comments. You will learn about Liv's secret very soon. And I hope to have the next chapter updated shortly too. Happy Scandal Thursday!)