I just got a call from Rhodey. Which is weird, as Rhodey doesn't call anymore, he just texts. It's been eleven days I haven't spoken to him. Sixteen with Tony. Nineteen with anyone else.

So I just got a call from him. Tony's in trouble.

He told me he is hurt, very hurt, and that he didn't know if…

God, I can't even think about it.

No, it canNOT be the end of Iron Man, nor Tony Stark. It can't be.

And everything is my damn fault!

How can it have gotten so bad?

And here I am, pacing in my room. I'm such a coward! I can't even go there and try my best to save him! I can't, 'cause I'm afraid! And this mess, this mess we're in because of me, this mess was supposed to help him, not kill him!

I don't know what to do!

I'm half-sobbing and half-pulling my hair out, I can't even think straight! This was not supposed to happen, ever. I'm disgusting myself with my lack of action, of decision. My lack of producing anything worthwhile to help anyone, even myself! This was NOT supposed to happen!

Never ever.

I was supposed to help him.

In a split-second decision, I grab my medical kit (a bit more advanced than a first aid one) and run towards the armory.


When I arrive, I'm so frantic that my hands are shaking. I'm trying to enter the code to no avail, and Rhodey must have opened the door himself because I'm sure I haven't typed the code right.

I rush into the armory. Rhodey and Tony are standing right in front of me. Alive. Uninjured.

The door snaps shut behind me. I'm too stunned to care.

"What is the meaning of this?"

I hate how my voice sounds monotone and broken, by lack of use. It's scratchy and deep, in the wrong way. I feel suddenly like I've been trapped and that I'm so weak they can break me like a wisp of straw.

"It's an intervention."

Hearing Tony talking to me after that long is weird. In a way, it warms me with the familiarity of hearing that sound directed to me. In another, it chills me how cold it is. An intervention? What the hell is he talking about?

"We know what you're going through."

Rhodey's turn. His voice is much softer than Tony's, velvet. It's almost apologetic in a way, as if he wished he hadn't used that trick to lure me here.

Wait. What did he say? They can't know. They-they mustn't! I-I should go before-before anything else is said, bef-before I spill everything out!

"You're both uninjured. I should go. I have things to-"

Had I been in my right state, I'm not even sure I would have seen Tony moving. One moment he was in front of me, the next he was behind me, between the exit and me.

They're definitely trapping me here.

"We know what you're going through."

Repeating it won't make it any clearer, Rhodes! I'm half-tempted to take them down, hoping that my ineptitude to fight is just an illusion, that I actually learnt something. My mind is so foggy right now… God, I'm thinking about taking down two big healthy guys, not to mention my best friends, while I'm not functioning properly… I'm thinking about what Rhodey said, about what Tony said… I'm thinking about how to get out of this mess… And I'm wondering which mess I'm referring to now. It's like a whirlwind of thoughts making me dizzy, I can't even think straight.

"We just want to know who's the bastard who did that to you."

"Tony!"

Was that supposed to help me understand? 'Cause I have to tell you guys, I'm even more lost than I was before, and that's a real feat, considering I was pretty much lost already. Tony's tone's got a tinge of rage barely hidden, as a tiger about to pounce. Rhodey, obviously, is trying to yank his chain back.

Pause.

"What?"

I couldn't have sounded more out of it. The feeling of weakness has come back, growing tenfold, and everything is so confusing…

Tony approaches me with the antithesis of how his voice sounds. Softly, hesitantly, he's tilting my jaw, not unlike Rhodey did the first time I went to the dojo.

The dojo.

I don't know how, I don't know why, but I suddenly understand the big misunderstanding.

And I laugh.

I barely have time to see their shocked faces before another round of laughter catches me.

I can't stop laughing. Tony loses his grip on me as I sink to the floor, laughing like a mad woman.

The worst is, I don't know why I'm laughing. It's like I was a balloon, and that a needle poked at me, making me release… I don't know what actually.

I laugh so much I cry, and without noticing it, the crying turns into a sobbing fest.

I'm a mess, inside and out. I should have stopped long ago, but now, I feel reality slipping from my grip and it's almost too much to handle, I feel like I'm gonna fall and fall, without anyone or anything stopping me. I'm downright terrified. I have no handle on my emotions whatsoever. I have no handle on anything.

And then I feel pressed against something, and Tony's scent is encompassing me. I am like anchored to him, it's reality. Sure, it's very blurry, because of the tears, but it's still reality. Although… is reality supposed to be this red?

I feel like an idiot. Reality is red because the only thing I have in my sight is Tony's trademark T-shirt. Tony who is rocking me back and forth, like a parent soothing a crying newborn, reminding me of everything that's tangible out there.

Once again, how did I get into this mess?

While my vision is still blurry, my mind is totally clear. What I've done, all those days, the problems that came with it… It was not the right way. I wanted to help, and I hurt instead. Tony, Rhodey, and myself. I planned it all wrong. I should've… I should've done a lot of things. Differently.

But for now, I'm just quite content with being held and getting back on Earth. Even if I can feel the wetness in my neck, where Tony buried his head, which is definitely not mine…