It was one evening that their relationship changed. Bernie remembered it like it was 10 mins ago. She had wanted some fresh air in the compound. It was a clear night and the stars were out above them. The team were sat playing cards as they did most evenings to past the time before bed. Bernie excused herself from the next deal saying she was going outside for a bit. She sat on one of the benches, quite a way from the away from the artificial light and deeply inhaled the fresh air around her. It was warm outside though she had her jacket round her shoulders. She looked up and gazed at the stars. She had never seen so many anywhere else in the world and was completely in awe of them here.
Bernie had no idea how long she had been sat out there looking up at the enormous sky above her but she suddenly heard someone walking across towards her. She slowly lowered her head down to see who it was and smiled.
"Just wanted to make sure you were okay"
"I'm fine, thank you" Bernie replied honestly. "But I will never ever get tired of this view".
Alex sat down beside her, looking across at Bernie rather than up at the stars and said,
"I can certainly see why,"
Bernie then realised that Alex wasn't looking at the stars like she was. She was looking directly at her. Bernie felt her stomach tie itself in knots. Had Alex just admitted something far more private and intimate than she was ever expecting? Or was she just reading too much into it? Bernie craned her neck to look back up at the stars hoping she was just getting tired and misreading things. But a few seconds later Bernie felt her best friend's fingers slide gently over her own on the bench. She looked down at her hand and then up to look at Alex.
"Alex?" Bernie questioned softly wanting to understand.
"I'm sorry," Alex said briskly pulling her hand away.
"Don't be," Bernie said instantly reaching across and taking Alex's hand back into her own.
Alex looked back at Bernie. The look lasted longer than it perhaps should have done but Alex couldn't draw her eyes away, she could sit staring at Bernie all day.
The penny slowly began to drop. Thoughts that had never been in Bernie's conscious or on her radar started piecing themselves together. She became aware of what might be going on when the look from Alex lasted much longer than a look between friends normally would. Yet somehow it didn't feel awkward. Something felt different about the way Alex was looking at her. She felt butterflies in her tummy, a feeling she had not felt in a long time. Up until that point Bernie had never considered nor had the thought crossed her mind of ever being attracted to a woman. But sat there in the compound under the stars looking at Alex, Bernie was beginning to see her in a completely different light. As something more than a friend and comrade. As a woman and a very, very pretty woman at that. The thought crossed Bernie's mind of what it would be like to kiss another woman, what Alex's lips would feel like, what being intimate with a woman would be like, with Alex? She was suddenly shocked at herself and tried to block the new thoughts from her mind. She was straight, she was married! She shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts. But she couldn't stop herself.
Bernie looked down into the space between them, her little finger brushing up against Alex's tentatively.
On feeling the briefest of movement from Bernie, Alex looked down to where Bernie's hand was resting to make sure she hadn't imagined the touch. She then slowly raised her sight back to Bernie's eye line to try and read what she might be thinking. Whether she was imagining the connection she was feeling or whether there was a chance it was real. She was scared of screwing things up but looking at Bernie now things between them already felt different and there was an energy between them Alex hadn't felt before. Something just felt right, so Alex lent across and placed her lips on Bernie's.
Her lips were the softest Bernie had ever kissed. Nothing like she imagined to might be like but it was the best kiss she'd ever had full stop. She didn't remember kissing Marcus ever being like this. Just the right amount of pressure, it was tender but with so much feeling that it felt like the world had stopped around them. The weirdest thing of all was it didn't feel wrong. It felt completely natural and pretty amazing. Bernie might never have considered kissing a woman up to this point but she wasn't sure she'd ever forget this.
Alex pulled away but was too scared to open her eyes in case Bernie slapped her or had got up and run away. But instead she felt a hand graze her cheek. Alex's eye suddenly opened perhaps in disbelief and check it wasn't a dream. But she wasn't dreaming. Bernie's hand was stroking her cheek and the next thing she knew their lips were locked in another amazing kiss. Eventually the need for air got them and they broke apart but not too far.
"Wow," Alex said in disbelief.
"Yeah" Bernie replied not really knowing what else to say.
Neither of them really knew what to say next so they just sat, hand in hand, staring up at the stars.
