Chapter 8

Nick ran his finger over the longest of the scars; the one that stretched from his shoulder down to his stomach. The thin white lines ran down his chest like a railway map. Most of them had healed over, but they were still clearly visible. Even now, as Nick sat on the counter in their dorm bathroom, the red and white scars stood out against his skin. His shirt lay on the counter, it was a rarity that Nick actually got to take it off, because of the state of his chest, Nick had to tuck into the bathroom to change into his uniform. The only other time was when he would take a shower, which left him in excoriating pain because of the water pressure.

Nick had barely survived his first day back at Dalton; first of all, getting ready for school after your chest has been slashed is nothing short of torture. Throughout the day, every time Nick raised his arms, sat down, stood up, turned around or made any kind of movement, his shirt would rub against the scars and make Nick wince. He couldn't imagine how he was going to get through Warbler practice, singing wouldn't be a problem, but it was late enough in the year that they had to start working on the choreography for the Dalton's Parents' Night next month. Nick sighed, he had completely forgotten about Parents' Night. His mom had it written down on her calender for months, it was the only time she got to watch her son perform. Even better than that was that she never brought Derrick along with her. She would stay in Westerville for the whole weekend, and for those few days, it was like Derrick never existed.

The wall clock in the bathroom told him that it was almost four. Jeff would be getting back soon.

Nick reached for his shirt on the counter, only to realize that he had accidentally put it down in a puddle of water on the counter. He groaned. It was soaked pretty well, all the way through. He would have to grab another shirt to wear for when Jeff got back. Nick tossed the wet shirt into the hamper in the corner and cracked the door open. The dorm was empty, but it wouldn't be that way for long. Quickly he opened the door and slipped back into the bedroom. Nick dashed over to the closet and pulled out his black sweater. He was about to put it on when, he heard the rattle of the turning doorknob.

Horrified, Nick turned around and covered his bare chest with the sweater. "Jeff!" Nick screamed as the blonde stepped into the room. Jeff looked at him, briefly shocked but quickly melted into a laugh. "Dude, calm down." he laughed slightly, "It's your room too. You can change in front of me." Nick stood frozen. Jeff blinked, "Alright, how's this?" he stepped over to his bed, putting his back to Nick, "Better? I'm not even looking."

Deciding to take the chance, Nick threw the sweater around his shoulders, never taking his eyes off the back of Jeff's head. Popped his arms through the sleeves and reached for the zipper. He was about to zip it up when... in his hurried state, Nick pulled the zipper up too fast. Sending the metal teeth digging into his scars. White hot pain filled his mind. Unable to hold himself back, Nick let out a tortured wheeze.

"You okay, Nick?" Jeff asked as he looked over his shoulder, seeing the brunette hunched over in pain. "Fine," Nick squeezed out, "Just scratched myself."

"You Sure? It sounded like you were being cut open..."

Oh Jeff, you have no idea how right you are. Nick thought as he attempted to stand up straight. "No, no. I'm fine."

Skeptically, Jeff turned around to face Nick. His glare froze Nick's mind, making him forget how to move. Suddenly, Jeff's eyes narrowed and attached to something. "Nick..." he took a few steps closer to Nick, "What is that?" He pointed at Nick's abdomen. Nick looked down.

Shit

He hadn't done the zipper all the way up, and part of a long red scar poked out from underneath the black fabric. Jeff was now standing so close to him, that Nick could count every shiny blonde strand of hair on Jeff's head. Nick couldn't move. His mind screamed at him to step back, but everything from the neck down was totally paralyzed. The only sounds he could make was the heavy pants that matched his racing heart in rhythm. Jeff put his hand on Nick's chest, lightly running one finger over the wound. Nick inhaled sharply at the contact. Jeff was in a state of auto-pilot, his fingers slid down to the zipper, grasping it.

"Please don't..." Nick practically begged as he met Jeff's gaze. The blonde's eyes were glazed over with an intrigued panic. Nick knew that his own eyes were filling with fearful tears. Jeff's hand did not pull away, instead he brought his other hand up to Nick's forearm. A gesture that was supposed to be comforting but it scared Nick. Scared him because if Jeff moved his hand down, he would unveil exactly what Nick had been hiding from Jeff for a year, the Warblers for two, his mother for three, and the world for his entire life.

Nick's head dropped, he couldn't look at him, he was too ashamed.

"Nick," Jeff whispered, "I care about you. I want to know." Nick found the strength to raise his head, once again meeting Jeff's eyes. The fire in Jeff's eyes melted the ice on his mind, and he brought his hand up, placing it on Jeff''s.

"Promise you won't hate me?" Nick's words were shaking.

"Promise."

Squeezing his eyes shut, Nick lead Jeff's hand downward, unzipping the sweater. The tears building in Nick's eyes fought their way out, one slid down Nick's pale cheek and fell, landing on the boys' hands. He could feel the cold air hit his chest, his stomach churned with guilt and fear. Both hitting him with all their might when he heard Jeff gasp.

"Oh my God." The blonde couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight of Nick's pale chest. The poor boy looked like he had been attacked by a wild animal.

When the zipper reached the bottom, the sweater fell open. Raising his hesitant hand, Jeff pushed the sleeve of Nick's sweater off his shoulder. The one without the word. Nick could do nothing but sob, "I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm so sorry."

Jeff hadn't said a word yet, he was just trying to wrap his hind around the sight of Nick.

"This wasn't an accident, was it?" Jeff asked quietly, though he's not sure why, he already knew the answer. Nick only cried and shook his head. Jeff reached for the remaining side of the sweater, when Nick caught his hand. The look in their eyes was the same. Fear. More in Nick than Jeff, but still present. With a desperate inhale of courage, Nick used Jeff's hand to push off the remaining shoulder of the sweater.

Nick could have sworn he saw Jeff's heart climb into his throat the moment his eyes hit the three-letter word on his right collarbone. Another sob rattled from Nick as he stood and waited for Jeff's reaction of disgust. Instead, the reaction that came was of horror.

"Who did this to you?" Jeff asked quickly, looking at the word, then Nick's face, then back to the word again. Nick's mouth was dry from sobbing. He stammered out the tragically truthful answer, "D-Derrick."

"Derrick? That your brother?"

It was then that Nick realized that he had never mentioned the name to his friend before.

"No, he's my mother's boyfriend."

"Does she know?"

"I don't think so. I really don't want her too. I never wanted anyone to know, not my mother, or the dean, or the police, or the Warblers, or you... especially, not you." Jeff, who had just realized that he was still touching Nick's scars, removed his hand and took another step toward Nick, almost standing toe to toe.

"Why not me?"

Nick ducked his head again, ashamed, "Because you'd hate me. And then I'd lose you."

Jeff looked taken aback, as if the very concept, let alone the actuality, of those two proposals was inconceivable. To prove his point, Jeff wrapped a protective arm around Nick's bare shoulder, resting his hand in the brunette's hair. "I would never hate you. As long as I'm here, you're safe here." He lowered his head to get Nick to look at him, his eyes were still glistening with tears. There was nothing but sincerity in Jeff's words, and that fact filled him with a loving gratitude for the boy.

A sudden burst of emotion swept Nick out of his own mind and into Jeff. He wrapped his arms tightly around his back, not caring about how the contact was hurting his scars. Digging his hands into the fabric of Jeff's shirt, and burying his face in the nape of Jeff's neck. Jeff rubbed his hand up and down Nick's back as Nick began to sob again.


Firstly, if you can't tell by the length of this chapter, I am extremely bored and now have hours of free time on my hands because my exams are finished and I am officially on Summer vacation. Meaning, I am now able to to write new chapters 24 hours a day, minus the ones when I'm asleep.

Secondly, in about a month, I'll be going away to camp for two weeks so that will delay my update dates. Hopefully, you can all just hang in their for a while.

Thirdly, I have no idea how to end this fic. I understand that does make me sound very good as a writer but I do have several ideas I want to write out. And that means that Downtown Man will not be ending any time soon.

Fourthly, if there are any Newsies fans reading this, I am planning a Newsies!Niff fic, most likely entitled Banner Boys and set alongside the Newsies movie, not the musical, I haven't had the luck to see it yet. But don't get your hopes up just yet because I won't be uploading it until this story is complete or near completion.

Fifthly, I was on the Niff tumblr tag today and I came across this link:

/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zRVxczHSqXc#

If you are ready to squeal/laugh your head off, go to Youtube, add that to the url, and and go watch it! I suggest waiting until you are home alone to do so, because I've watched like 20 times now and I still can't keep a straight face.

Sixthly, and Finally, Yes, I am aware that I have reached the beautiful sight of 36 reviews, but that doesn't mean I never want to hear from you guys again. Please leave a review! Let's see if we can get to 63!

Less than 36!

Love Always,

~ELC