Disclaimer: I do not own Castle


Chapter 8

"Dad, what's going on in your mind?"

Alexis knew her father all too well. She could see his unrest ever since he woke up. She knew he was debating something in his mind.
He took a deep breath and then spoke

"I've never spoken to her that way pumpkin" he spoke with a heavy heart. She could see in his eyes that even talking about what happened pained him.

"I've never before broken a woman's heart, and to think that I did that to Kate today... It's just... it's eating me up."

"Dad, she broke your heart too."

"I know. That's why it needed to be done. I waited too long for her. It's never easy to break up with someone you love." he said sadly.

"You still love her?"

"I don't think I'll ever be able to stop. It's going to be the hardest thing I try to do. I recover faster from physical injuries than a broken heart."

"You have us to help you through it dad."

"I know, I know. I just never thought I had it in me to speak to her that way, and now that I have, I'm not sure what I feel about it."

Castle kissed his daughter on her forehead and she spoke to him

"I yelled at her too. And I think I said some pretty nasty stuff dad"

Castle looked at her seriously. "What did you say to her?"

"I blamed her for you being here in this state"

"Alexis, sweetie, that's not fair… She didn't bomb the station"

"I know, and I feel like an idiot now…"

Castle hugged her and said "You will apologize to her soon okay? I didn't raise you to be this way. I know you were scared, but it's not her fault I was near the bomb."

"But it is her fault that you're in this mental state dad."

Castle huffed a sigh. He wouldn't deny it. Kate Beckett always knew how to play with his emotions.

Getting over her and moving on was going to be tough, because Castle had gotten used to always having her on his mind.

She filled his dreams at night as well as day, her voice had been music to his ears, her touch was what he craved at any given point of time, her fragrance had become a part of the air he breathed everyday.. All in all, she had become his life.

And now, he had to try and undo every step he had taken forward with her. To say it would be difficult would be an understatement.

In the next few days, Kate had tried every way she could to reach out to him. She went to the hospital, but he never let her see him. she tried calling him when she knew he had been discharged from the hospital, but he never picked her calls. Kate grew more and more desperate by the day.

Finally one day, she found herself outside his place, scared as hell, that even now, there were chances she would be denied the chance to talk to him.

She knocked on the door, but no one answered. She waited and then knocked again. But after hearing no movement at all from inside the loft, she finally gave up, and with a heavy heart and tears in her eyes, she began to back away.

She was just about to enter the elevator when she heard his front door open, and Martha stepped out, her hands folded across her chest, and her eyes looking on at her sadly.

"Martha…" Kate walked on towards her.

"Kate, If Rick knew I stepped out to talk to you, he'd never forgive me."

"He told you not to speak to me?" Kate asked with utmost hurt and fear.

"After everything you've put him through before this blast, I'm surprised that I still stepped out here to talk to you"

"Martha, you have to let me see him… I've made mistakes in our relationship, I'm aware of them and I just want another chance."

"That is not for me to decide darling. It's all him. But that's what I came here to tell you. He's not going to give you that chance."

Kate's heart broke a little more for the umpteenth time this week. The tears that fell down her face were now something she had gotten so used to. She couldn't care wiping them off. They'd just come back.

"He's made up his mind that he wants to move on, that he can't keep clinging on to something that is going nowhere. So I'm sorry Kate, but we'd appreciate it if you just give him his space. Let him move on. Let him recover without having to think about you, cause truly thinking about you, I can see, is stressing him out. Maybe everything that's happened is for the best."

"No Martha, you don't understand…" She cried out loud.

"Maybe I don't. But I know my son. And he's made his decision. He doesn't want to see you again."

She paused, looking with great pity upon this young woman whom she had come to see as her very own daughter in the past few years, and she felt horrible for having to do this.

"I'm sorry Katherine. But he deserves more. You both deserve more"

Kate shivered and her body racked with sobs, as she fell in the hallway, remembering the very same line said to her by her lover when he had proposed. Only it meant the exact opposite of what it did now.

Martha stepped into the loft and slowly closed the door. But she waited, and looked from the peephole until she knew Kate had picked herself up and gone home.

Only, Kate hadn't gone home. An hour later, she was sitting at an old bar; drinking shot after shot of vodka, drowning her sorrow in every sip, letting the burn of the alcohol take over her mind. She just wanted to forget everything that had been told to her. She couldn't believe this was happening to her.

One moment, she was having dreams about the perfect wedding with her Castle, and the next moment, she was being asked by his mother to let him be, to forget him and move on. She really didn't care about anything now. Her life was meaningless without him, and it would forever be that way. There was no reason, she felt, to care.

She looked at the time on her phone, and through her slightly blurring vision, she decided there was one place she needed to go.


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