Henry used his key to get into Jamie's apartment, he grandson sounded upset on the phone. The family was aware of the growing relationship between the two younger officers but Henry wondered what was going on.
"Jamie" Henry said quietly so he wouldn't wake Nicky.
He checked Jamie's room but he only saw a sleeping Nicky. He stopped in the kitchen and grabbed two glasses before making his way to the guest room.
"Jamie, my boy" Henry said noticing his grandson laying on the bed.
"Jamie" Henry said walking over to him.
"What? Oh hey Pop" Jamie said coming out of his daze.
Jamie moved over so Henry could sit down.
"So, what seems to be the problem?" Henry said pouring some of the good Irish Whisky.
"Eddie" Jamie said sheepishly.
"What seems to be the problem, you two aren't even working right now" Henry said.
"Grandpa" Jamie said.
"I know that you and Eddie have something special" Henry said.
"I don't exactly know"
"You need to give me more information" Henry said.
"OK, ok" Jamie said. He waited for a moment before he continued.
"So back in the spring we did kiss, we both said it was bound to happen and that it was out of our systems. We eat dinner and get drinks together after almost every tour, and you know that I spent the night playing cards with you instead of going to Eddie's probie party because our feelings were clouded"
"It gives me insight but it doesn't tell me what you are so upset about know. I can still sweat a guy Jamie" Henry said.
"I don't doubt that Gramps. So I guess the big problem is that the other night at family dinner we kissed in the back yard" Jamie said, they were interrupted by Erin.
"Hey grandpa, what are you doing here?" Erin asked.
"I asked him to come over" Jamie said, taking another drink.
"Oh I see, well I will let you have your man time" Erin said.
"No Erin, I could use your opinion too" Jamie said.
"Is this about Eddie?" Erin asked.
Jamie just nodded his head.
"Can we move story time to the kitchen, I'm starving" Erin said.
Henry got up and Erin helped her brother to his feet. He looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
They go to the kitchen and Erin gets the plates for the pizza.
"Jamie, you have to eat" Erin said after he rejected his pizza.
"Erin I'm not hungry"
"Jamie, I will force feed you if I have to. I've done it before and I will do it again"
"Can we talk first?" Jamie said.
"Sure" Erin said.
Henry poured for whisky and Jamie continued.
"Well at Sunday dinner when I took her out to the pond, I kissed her. It wasn't like our kiss in the spring when we were drunk. Then we were fighting for dominance, it was more passion than anything else. But the kiss on Sunday was caring and loving and I never wanted to let go of her again. We shared the bed together on Friday when she came over after work" Jamie said before he could continue he was cut off by Henry.
"Jamison!?"
"Yea Jamison" Erin added.
"Erin you knew, and Gramps it wasn't like that. She was upset and we were both tired, nothing happened at all. Clothes remained on at all times" Jamie said. Henry didn't say anything he just took a drink and gave Jamie a look.
"So anyway when we got hurt on Saturday I asked her if she would stay with me. Nicky slept on the floor in my room so she went into the guest room. We had fun Saturday, we just talked and relaxed. Then on Sunday we kissed and we decided that what ever it was we were doing had to stop. After Nicky got hurt she slept in the bed with Nicky and I, I do wish that she hadn't been in the middle" Jamie said emptying his third glass of whisky.
"Jamie slow down on the whisky, I need to wake Nicky before her friends come" Erin said getting up from the table.
"Nicky sweetie wake up" Erin said.
"Hey mom" Nicky said.
"How did you sleep?"
"Pretty well actually. Where is Uncle Jamie and Eddie?"
"Eddie went home and Uncle Jamie is in the kitchen with Pop"
"Why did Eddie go home?"
"She needed a break from your Uncle Jamie"
"What happened, they got into it when we were out today"
"Uncle Jamie is telling us his life story with Eddie, I just came to tell you that your friends will be here soon. You can take them to the guest room"
"Thanks mom, I'm just going to freshen up a little"
"Ok Sweetie, I'm going to go back to your uncle to make sure he doesn't drink his body weight in whisky"
Erin went back out and she was pretty sure that Jamie had more whisky now than he ever had in his life.
"Jamie, do I need to cut you off?" Erin asked. Jamie ignored his sisters comment and continued
"Then today when we were out we had fun at lunch but then Eddie and Nicky decided to go shopping"
"Hey Pops" Nicky said walking over to give Henry a hug.
"Are you feeling ok kiddo?" Jamie asked.
"I'm fine what happened with you and Eddie?" Nicky asked.
"Nic not now, its complicated" Jamie said.
"Whatever" Nicky said.
"Nicky" Jamie said.
"No you tell me something's and not others" Nicky said.
"Nicky' Erin warned.
"No she's right. But I don't know what to say" Jamie said.
"Whatever" Nicky said.
"Give me a break Nicky" Jamie said.
"Didn't know I had two brooding teenagers" Erin said and Henry laughed.
The doorbell rang and Erin and Nicky went to get it. Erin took Nicky and her friends to the guest room and told them if they needed anything she would be in the kitchen.
"Sorry Jamie go on" Erin said sitting back down.
"So we go shopping and I sit on the bench and Eddie and Nicky are having fun and then Eddie says that they have stuff to try on so the first outfit that Eddie comes out in, well lets just say it was a good thing I was sitting or my crutches wouldn't have supported me. She asked me what I thought and I said nice and she gave me a hard time so I said 'Fine, I think you look drop dead gorgeous like I do everyday. Eddie your beautiful, you just need to have more confidence in yourself. Eddie you are beautiful in the uniform, I think you look stunning in my sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt and the things that this outfit is making me want to do would have you and I separated before either of us got back from injured leave' Then I got up and hobbled outside and of course she followed me. My response was 'Seeing you in that shirt just made my life a hell of a lot more complicated'. Then I told her I wasn't ready to have this conversation with her."
"That's when you called me upset" Erin said.
"Yea" Jamie said as he took more whisky.
"Anything else happen?" Henry asked.
"Yea, it gets worse" Jamie said.
"Damn Jamie" Erin said.
"I know, She told me that it was best if she went home and I asked her who would take care of her and she said she could take care of herself. I asked her not to go but she said 'It we want any kind of friendship its for the best that I go home', I asked her if I could change her mind and she said no. I told her to listen to me and her response was 'Jamie I have been listening to you for over a year. All I hear is that yes I like my partner but I'm not going to do a damn thing about it. I can't do it anymore Jamie, my heart and my mind can't take it'. She let a few tears out when she said this, I tried to hug her but she pushed me away. She then said 'You can't be the white knight anymore; you can't save me from you'. I told her that I cared about her and she said that is why she had to go. How bad is it Er?" Jamie asked.
"Well, I don't know what's going through her mind but I can see her being mad at you. You lead her on dummy" Erin said.
"I just don't want to hurt her" Jamie said.
"Well I think you accomplished that task" Henry said to his grandson.
"How do I fix it?" Jamie asked.
"You need to talk to her, tell her why you're scared and why you keep leading her on. You don't kiss a girl twice and then act like it's no big deal. Didn't mom and I teach you anything?" Erin said.
"Guess not" Jamie said sadly.
"Jamie, you need to talk to her. You can't let this go. She needs to hear it from you, and soon before you lose not only your crush but also your best friend" Henry said.
"She said the worst feeling is having the people you trust the most let you down, that it shakes your confidence and your judgment. I wanted to avoid that and instead I think I walked right into it" Jamie said.
"Sometimes when we try to hard for something else to happen, the thing we were trying to make disappear happens" Henry said.
"Remember after Sydney and I broke up I came to you, also because I was technically homeless?" Jamie said.
"Yea, we drank the night away and played cards" Henry said.
"I feel worse now than the day my fiancé left me" Jamie said.
"I remember you drunkenly laying on my couch crying and asking if you let the best thing that has ever happened to you walk out the door" Erin said.
"Yea I'm an emotional drunk get over it" Jamie said.
"Not my point. I didn't give you an answer about the best thing walking out of your life. I didn't know if Sydney was the best for you, she didn't really fit in with the family and she always acted like she was better than everyone else and she always wanted to be the center of attention. She was not the best thing to every happen to you. I think that Eddie is the best thing to happen to you and if you ask me again, I would tell you that yes you are letting the best thing that has ever happened to you walk right out of your life" Erin said.
"I agree with Erin, what you two have is special. After being on tour with each other for hours upon hours you still find things to talk about and you still want to be together; that Jamie, is special. It's not something that you want to let go. Your grandmother and I had just as much to talk about the day she died and the first day I met her. We hated being apart, clearly you and Eddie aren't fond of being apart either"
"Grandpa's right" Erin said.
"How do I fix it?" Jamie asked
"Talk to Eddie" Erin and Henry both said.
Meanwhile Nicky and her friends were in the guest bedroom. She told them what had happened and even the guys had tears in their eyes.
They decided they were hungry and came out to the kitchen.
"Hey, did you save us any pizza or did you emotionally consume all 4 boxes Uncle Jamie" Nicky asked.
"Nicky" Erin said.
Nicky introduced her friends to her great-grandfather and her Uncle Jamie, they had met most of her friends but there were a few that needed introductions.
"They are all yours" Jamie said defeated.
Nicky's friends that had not met Jamie all whispered that he was cute and he could frisk them anytime he wanted. Jamie decided that it was a good time to go to his room and sulk. Erin fed Nicky and her friends while Henry went with Jamie.
"Might as well finish the whisky" Henry said.
Jamie just took the bottle and downed it.
"You didn't drink this much when you and Sydney broke up" Henry said.
"I guess I didn't care as much" Jamie said.
Jamie and Henry sat in Jamie's room for a while before Erin brought in pizza for Jamie.
"I brought beers but you only get them if you eat pizza" Erin said.
"I'm not hungry" Jamie said matter of factly.
"Then I guess I will force feed you" Erin said.
"Erin, I'm not hungry. I remember after you and Jack filed for divorce I had to force feed you, you kept mumbling a broken heart or something"
"Jamie, beer or no beer, your choice" Erin said.
"Fine give me a slice" Jamie said. Jamie finished his pizza.
"Open up" Erin said.
"What am I five?" Jamie asked.
"Just looking out for you" Erin said.
"I have to get going, I promised Linda I would go over and watch the boys till Danny got home from tour since she had to work"
"Thanks Gramps" Jamie said.
"Anytime Jamie" Henry said kissing his grandson on the head.
Jamie had moved onto his fourth beer and he couldn't even count the amount of glasses of whisky he had consumed.
He was feeling pretty drunk and when he got to drunk he got a little to emotional.
"Jamie, I have to go send the kids home, they have school tomorrow; sit tight I will be right back"
Erin went into the living room and told them it was time to go.
"Mom can I go to school tomorrow?" Nicky asked.
"Of course sweetie, if that's what you want to do" Erin said.
"My friends said that they will pick me up and we can all go together"
"Good I'm glad"
They all said their goodbyes and left.
"How's Uncle Jamie?" Nicky asked.
"Dunk, emotional" Erin said.
"Can I talk to him?" Nicky asked.
"I don't think that's a good idea, go get showered and get your stuff ready for school"
"Ok, goodnight mom"
"I will check on you in a little"
Meanwhile Jamie decided it would be a good idea to drunk call Eddie.
Jamie had send her about twenty texts apologizing and had about twenty-five missed calls before she finally answered.
"What Reagan?" Eddie asked harshly
"Eddie, I'm sorry" Jamie slurred.
"Jamie are you drunk?" Eddie asked.
"Probably"
"Jamie, leave me alone. Is Nicky ok?"
"Yea she's fine"
"Good then leave me alone. You don't want to have a conversation about us and I don't want to have any conversations with you at all"
"Eddie, please. I want to talk" Jamie pleaded.
"Jamie enough. I can't keep doing this" Eddie said. Jamie could hear the raw emotion in Eddie's voice and his heart instantly broke.
Erin walked in and saw Jamie on the phone, she knew who he was talking to and she didn't want her brother making things worse for himself.
"Jamie give me the phone" Erin said holding her hand out.
Jamie just shook his head and went back to convincing Eddie to listen to him.
"Jamie, Jamie give me the phone now" Erin said. Erin easily got the phone from Jamie.
"Hey Eddie it's Erin"
"Hi Erin"
"Are you doing ok?"
"Yea, I don't think Jamie is" Eddie said, slurring her words a tad.
"I got him, do you need anything?" Erin asked.
"No I'm ok, long day I'm going to go to bed"
"Goodnight Erin"
"Goodnight Eddie"
"ERIN" Jamie yelled.
"I'm doing you a favor"
"No, you let Eddie hang up" Jamie cried.
"Jamie, it's for the best. You will talk to her in the morning when you are sober"
"Fine, goodnight" Jamie said taking a sip of beer and laying down.
Erin placed a bucket next to his bed, she hadn't seen him drink this much since their mom died and before that was when Joe died. The morning after both of those days Erin spend taking care of a hung-over Jamie.
Erin went back to check on Nicky.
"Please tell me you won't be my difficult child tonight" Erin said sitting down on the bed.
"What's up with Uncle Jamie?" Nicky asked.
"He messed up with Eddie and now regrets it. He was trying not to hurt her but he ended up hurting her. Now he drowned his sorrows in Pop's good Irish Whisky and beer and one slice of pizza" Erin said.
"That must not be pretty"
"No, when I left him he was crying himself to sleep hugging his beer"
"Did you at least video tape him" Nicky asked.
"NO. He's in bad shape Nic, it's been rare that I've seen him this way. I've only seen him like this when Grandma died and when Joe died; not even when he and Sydney broke up. I know that you and him have a special relationship has he said anything to you?" Erin asked.
"Just that he did like her and that they kissed more than once"
"Yea he told me that" Erin said.
"I'm glad I talked to my friends it helped a lot. The guys offered to beat him up but I told them that my uncle's already took care of that" Nicky said.
"That they did. It's getting late kiddo, I took off tomorrow so if you change your mind about school let me know. I'm going to sleep in Jamie's room, I think he might need me more than you tonight. If you need anything you know where to find me"
"Goodnight mom"
"Goodnight sweetie" Erin said walking out of the guestroom.
Meanwhile Eddie wasn't doing much better than Jamie. She had ice cream and wine for dinner and dessert and watched sappy rom-coms all night. She decided to go to call Kara and explain the situation to her.
"Walsh"
"Hey Kara it's Eddie"
"Hey Eddie, is Nicky ok?" Kara asked.
"Yea she's doing good. Jamie and I took her out for lunch and some shopping today"
"So what's up, I just put the kids to bed"
"I had wine and ice-cream for dinner"
"What the hell did Reagan do"
Kara and Eddie had become good friends since the pharmacy shooting. She knew that Eddie and Jamie and a thing but she didn't know how complicated it had gotten.
Eddie didn't say anything but Kara could hear her sniffle on the other end of the phone.
"Why don't I come over my husband isn't working tonight so he can stay with the kids, I have tour in the morning but at least you won't be alone for now. Don't worry I will bring the good stuff" Kara said.
"Thanks Kara"
Eddie heard a knock on her door and went to answer it.
"Hey thanks Kara"
"No problem, you needed a friend" Kara said giving the younger officer a hug.
"Please tell me you brought the good stuff" Eddie said.
"I brought any Nicolas Sparks movie I could find, several pints of ice cream and some tequila"
"What would I do without you"
"Not have movies, or ice cream or alcohol" Kara said.
"That is very true" Eddie said. She grabbed some glasses and spoons.
"Jamie would tell me that I'm a lush" Eddie said sadly.
"Why don't you tell me what's going on" Kara said.
"Well at Sunday dinner Jamie kissed me in the backyard by the pond. We also kissed back in the spring. I mean we flirt all of the time but every time one of us makes a move the other shuts the other out. We have shared a bed together. And before you give me that look nothing at all happened. I mean I wore his sweatpants and sweatshirt so I wasn't exactly in the sexist of clothes"
"You are in deep my friend" Kara said pouring the tequila.
"I know, I think I made it worse though" Eddie said.
"How?"
"We went out to lunch and then shopping. Jamie wasn't happy about shopping but he played along. I found a great outfit so I told Nicky my plan to try it on and get Jamie to notice me and he said I looked nice and I asked him really that's it. Then he said 'Fine, I think you look drop dead grougeous like I do everyday. Eddie your beautiful, you just need to have more confidence in yourself. Eddie you are beautiful in the uniform, I think you look stunning in my sweatpants and oversized sweatshirt and the things that this outfit is making me want to do would have you and I separated before either of us got back from injured leave' and then he walked outside so I went with him and he said that I just complicated the hell out of his life"
"Wow, what did he mean by that?"
"That he doesn't know if we should be partners or more than partners I guess"
"He said that he didn't want to have this conversation so we ended it and when we went back to his place I told him I was coming home tonight. I came home and then then he drunk called me"
"No he didn't" Kara said smiling.
"Yea, he did. Then Erin got on the phone and apoligized"
"I can't imagine what is going on there" Kara said.
"I think he's scared of something" Eddie said.
"I think you are also scared of something" Kara said.
"I might be. But I have every right, everyone I have ever loved or trusted has let me down"
"I know, I also know that Jamie would never hurt you"
"But he did" Eddie said, she had fresh tears in her eyes. She took a bite of ice cream to calm the tears but it didn't work.
"Hey don't cry, drink more tequila. Maybe he's scared of getting hurt. Those few days that we rode together he told me he hasn't been in a relationship since Sydney. Maybe he's scared too"
"Now you're defending him?" Eddie asked.
"No, but I'm married"
"Good point"
"So what did he say when he drunk called you?"
"Just that he was sorry and that he wanted to see me and wanted to talk. I told him that I couldn't keep doing this and that's when Erin got on the phone and bailed his ass out"
"It was probably good she did" Kara said.
"Yea. He's an emotional drunk. I sorta wonder if deep down this has anything to do with his brother Joe. I know he was killed by the Blue Templar on Warrant Squad but other than that I've only head small bits of information when he's drunk"
"I think you guys need to talk it out sensibly"
"I guess, but he has to come to me" Eddie said.
"Fair enough, but for tonight we just drink and eat ice cream" Kara said.
"I like that plan" Eddie said.
Jamie had fallen asleep and Erin was laying next to him. She turned him on his side incase he couldn't handle his alcohol.
Erin felt like she had just fallen asleep when she heard Jamie coughing.
"Jamie" Erin said sitting up.
"Er, I don't feel so good"
"Yea, bucket next to you" Erin said getting up to turn the light on.
"What time is it?" Jamie asked.
"About three in the morning" Erin said helping him stand up.
"Er" Jamie said. Erin practically drug him to the adjacent bathroom. Luckily they made it in time for Jamie to be sick in the toilet.
"I don't think I've felt this bad in years"
"I don't think you've drank this much in years" Erin said helping him sit on the bathroom floor.
Jamie threw up a few more times and Erin got him some water.
"I'm guessing you didn't drink any water in between your whisky and beer's" Erin said raising an eyebrow.
"No, I can't say that I did" Jamie said.
"At least your not inebriated now" Erin said.
"I don't remember anything really after Grandpa left"
"So you don't remember your drunk call to Eddie?"
"Oh shit"
"Yea, I saved you but she didn't sound happy"
"I really fucked up" Jamie said. Erin didn't know what to say so she just sat on the floor in the bathroom next to Jamie.
"I remember one time you coming home drunk, Danny had moved out by then but Joe came and woke me up and the two of us took care of you all night"
"I can't say I remember the night, I just remember how I felt the next day" Erin said.
"Yea I was going to rat you out but Joe kept your cover. He told mom and dad that you had really bad cramps and a stomach flu" Jamie said laughing.
"Yea, you both saved my ass that night" Erin said.
"I was the angel so I never did that stuff"
"And yet here we are on the bathroom floor" Erin said laughing.
"I meant back then"
"Well there was one night. It was after you tore your ACL, the team won the championship. Joe said they had a call for a loud party. He knew you were there so he called me and I came and bailed your ass out. We took you back to my place. I was pregnant with Nicky at the time. Joe came over after tour and we stayed in the bathroom all night with you. You were so sick that night, we probably should have had your stomach pumped" Erin said.
"Yea, I remember Jack being mad that I threw up on your bathroom floor" Jamie said laughing.
"Yea well now I'm glad that you made him clean it up" Erin said with a smile.
"Do you think Eddie will forgive me?" Jamie asked.
"I think if you tell her the real reason as to why you can't commit to her"
"What do you mean?" Jamie asked.
"Jamie, you're not stupid"
"You mean because I'm terrified of everyone I love dying"
"Blunt, but yes" Erin said.
"It's true"
"I know that. Does Eddie? How much have you told her about mom and Joe?"
"Not much, just stuff here and there mostly when we are out drinking" Jamie said.
"Maybe you should tell her the while story while you are sober" Eddie said.
"Yea, tomorrow will you drop me off at her place and you and Nicky can have the day"
"Nicky wants to try school, having her friends over tonight helped a lot"
"Good I'm glad"
"So I will stay with you tomorrow. Are you ready to go back to bed now?" Erin asked standing up.
"Yea, I just can't run to fast to the bathroom" Jamie said.
"I got a fresh bucket for you"
"You, my sister are the best" Jamie said. He took Erin's hand and she helped him up. He leaned on her not only because he was a little dizzy but in the mad dash for the toilet he left his crutches in the other room.
"Go slow" Erin said gently.
She got Jamie into bed and turned out the light.
"Who the hell thought it was a good idea to drink this much?" Jamie asked holding his stomach.
"Well, you did. I tried to stop you" Erin said.
"I wish I listened" Jamie said.
"Roll onto your side" Erin said.
Jamie did as he was told. He started rubbing his back like their mom use to do when then were sick.
"I did this for Nicky the night she was attacked. She said it was the same way you do it, I asked her where did she think we learned it from"
"Mom taught us well" Erin said.
"I miss her" Jamie said.
"I do to, now don't start with the emotions Jamie" Erin said.
"I miss someone taking care of me"
"What do you mean?" Erin asked.
"Just someone to rub my back and bring me water when I'm sick"
"Nicky and I came over when you were sick a few weeks ago" Erin said.
"I know, I just I'm tired of being alone"
"I know what you mean" Erin said.
"Not really, you have Nicky"
"She's only home at nights and then she is doing homework and stuff for colleges"
"Better than no one. I thought I would have found Mrs. Reagan by now. It's been five years" Jamie said.
"Jamie, no more pity party. I know what you mean though, it's been four years since the divorce was finalized" Erin said.
"I think you dated all of the guys in New York when you were in high school and college.
"Funny" Erin said.
"Maybe I should call Eddie now and make sure she is ok" Jamie said.
"Shhh, go to sleep Jamie. Call her in the morning" Erin said. She started rubbing his back again hoping it would settle him.
Jamie and Erin fell asleep mid conversation. Eddie and Kara were both asleep but all Eddie was dreaming about was Jamie.
Well here is this chapter. I was not happy with myself after the last chapter. Hopefully, Eddie and Jamie can work all of their issues out after a good night's sleep.
Thank you to every one he reads and reviews!
