LONGEST CHAPTER YET! Next one even longer! (I'm getting the hang of it) Okay, I know I'm late on updating but I have a good reason. I locked myself out of my bedroom with the spare key inside, and have been sleeping in my roommates room all weekend. Dumbest, but best excuse ever, right?
First, thank you for all the reviews, alerts, and favorites I have received lately. They make my day! I have a question for you guys... I was initially planning on writing smut (hence the story rating) but I've been having trouble finding a placement for it. Would you guys mind if it isn't for quite a few chapters? Also, I am open to songs suggestions, or suggestions of stories to read. If you have written a dramione fic, put the name in the comments or PM me and I'll check it out :)
Last note: I want to start song suggestions :) A Lack of Color - Death Cab for Cutie, Dice - Finley Quaye & William Orbit, and Speeding Cars - Imogen Heap. They aren't the best suggestions, but I thought of them as I was writing. I love you guys! Please review! - Valerie Ann
It had been two entire weeks before Hermione had finally talked to, and forgiven Harry. He simply thought she was disappointed with him, and didn't know the real reason behind her resentment after his incident in the bathroom with Malfoy. To be honest, she still hadn't forgiven Harry entirely, but she was seeing less and less of Draco, and was beginning to feel lonely. She even took to talking to Ron again, although their conversations were very simple and consisted of forged courtesy. It had been nearly four weeks since their kiss, and she just couldn't bring herself to discuss it with him. She knew he was hurt, and probably just took it as a mistake she hadn't intended on making, which she hadn't.
Hermione had started to go back to Great Hall for meals, as she had given up on running to the tower hoping Draco would be there, for he hadn't in a few days. Things were different in her group now, but the familiarity is what made her smile. Sure, Harry and Ginny were now together and Ron gave her glares occasionally when he didn't think she was looking, but other than that it was almost back to normal. Hermione had caught on that although Ron was being nice, it was obvious he was still upset that she had avoided him, and taken back her promise of going to the Gryffindor game's after party last week in the commons. Although she wished she would have been there to witness Harry finally growing some nerves and kissing Ginny, she didn't regret staying on the tower that night with Draco, or not meeting Ron.
Draco was back in the Room of Requirement, where he had spent most of his time for the last two weeks. He was still so back and forth between his emotions and unsure what was right. One day he would work tirelessly on the vanishing cabinet to ensure that his family lived, and that he may one day have a chance to live, and be with Hermione. But, if he did this, there was no chance Hermione would ever continue loving him.
If he didn't, he would surely die a painful death. This was a debate that had been running through his head non-stop since that first kiss with Hermione in the prefect's bathroom. He was starting to figure that there was no chance for him and Hermione in the future.
The dispute in his head lately hadn't been to about how to find a way to spend the rest of his days with her. Either she would hate him, or he would die. There was absolutely no in-between, no matter how hard he thought about it. Lately, all that had been on his mind was which of the two would be worse.
Would he rather die and leave her behind, or live and deal with the pain of losing her? Either way, she would probably move on, marry the Weasel, and completely forget about Draco in the future. The thought made bile rise up in his throat and his eyes to water over, without releasing tears.
He figured for now, he would try and find that in-between. He promised himself that he would find a way to both live, and live with Hermione. There had to be some way. Any way, but nothing seemed plausible. Draco was almost 17 now, and Hermione would be 18 at the start of the next school year. They were both so young, and yet they focused their youthful lives on war efforts. She for the good side, and he for the dark.
Draco walked around the piles of rubbish and out the door of the Room of Requirement, heading to the tower, hoping to see Hermione who he hadn't seen in days. Over the past two weeks it wasn't as though he was avoiding her, he just hadn't had very much time to spend with her, even though he wanted to spend every moment possible with her on the tower, it just wasn't promising.
He climbed up the familiar rope ladder through the trap door only to see that once again, she wasn't there. He climbed back down, and ran down the stairs to the Great Hall, seeing as it was dinner time. He peeked in those large wooden doors and saw her sitting next the 'The so-called Chosen One' laughing and smiling. Oh, how he had missed that smile of hers. She looked so happy and the bags under her eyes had disappeared, replaced with small laugh lines on her face. Draco began to walk away and down to the dungeons, still debating with himself over what the future could hold for them.
Hermione turned towards the door of the Great Hall just as it was closing, and saw a flash of blonde hair before it slammed shut.
"Erm, sorry everyone but I just realized I forgot to edit my Charms essay, and I'm going to run to the library to go finish. I'll see you later." She said as was already getting up from her seat.
"See you later!" Harry called cheerfully while holding hands with Ginny, as Hermione was already running towards the door.
She opened the door to see Draco mindlessly turning the corner. He looked disheveled and his pace was slow, his posture lacking. Hermione picked up her pace and followed him.
"Draco!" she called when he came back into her sight.
He turned to her, a sullen and guilty look upon his face. He stayed silent and just stared at her as she walked within feet of him.
"I haven't seen you in days. That must take effort considering we both live in the same castle and have classes together." She stated, unable to hide the minor tone of anger sarcasm in her voice.
"I'm sorry love, I've just been really busy." Draco said unsurely, walking towards her with his arms held out, hoping she would embrace him.
She slapped his arms down harshly.
"I don't understand you! I thought after our discussion in the hospital wing you would make even more of an effort to be with me!" She paused trying to contain her anger, grateful that the rest of the students were in the Great Hall so she had no need to be inconspicuous. "I told you how much I wanted you. I told you where I stand, but where do you stand?"
Draco kept his face straight, trying to get everything he wanted to say past the lump that had risen in his throat.
"Well?" Hermione persisted. "What is this Draco? Is this all a joke to you? You toy with me, then disappear for days only to drag me back in. It's beginning to seem like a cycle."
"I love you, Hermi-"
"Stop saying that!" she cut him off. "It doesn't mean anything if you say it with no actions behind it."
"So, you don't feel the same way?" Draco asked softly.
"Of course I love you. I'm the only one who has proved that though! I seek you out, I've lied to my friends, and I've told you how I was willing to risk any repercussions of making this public. Yet, we still don't even have a label on this. All I want is you, and you say the same, yet you continue to completely leave me out of your life until it is convenient for you!" Hermione was breathless from her loud retort, her mouth turned down in the corners.
"Hermione, I told you I've just been really busy. I've spent all my free moments with you." He stared at her, trying to assess her temperament. "I really do love you Hermione. I've meant every word I've ever said to you."
"Then why do you persist to hide things from me? Do you think I don't notice these things? Do you I conveniently forgot about that time I waited outside the Room of Requirement for you, and you still haven't mentioned what you were doing in there. Give me some credit here Draco, I'm not daft." Hermione nearly slipped that she had watched him on the Marauder's Map, but decided to keep quiet. She was allowed at least one secret if he insisted on having so many.
"Do you think I like this? I don't want to be away from you for any longer than I need to be. I'm just keep-"
"Keeping me safe… you say that every single time Draco." She willed herself to take a step closer to him and look him in the eyes; her face never faltering no matter how much his actions actually affected her.
"Look at what I've been through in the past 6 years. Do you remember hearing about the troll? The Shrieking Shack? Or how about my experience at the ministry last year? I almost died." Hermione paused.
Draco flinched at the thought of Hermione nearly dying from the curse that Dolohov shot at her last year in the Department of Mysteries. He tried not to think of the fact that his father was the one who led the Death Eaters there, as did she.
"I've been through a lot in the past few years Draco. I've watched my friends die, or nearly die. I've been in situations that no seventeen year old girl should ever say they've been through, and I've tried everything I can to prepare myself for the inevitable war. Do you honestly believe that keeping me in the dark about whatever is going on with you, will keep me safe?" she knew there was too much truth in her words for him to avoid the subject now.
"Hermione, the way you look at me now… you make me feel like I matter, like I have a chance at being happy." Draco paused to try and compose himself. "You won't look at the same anymore."
Hermione could see in his eyes that he was clearly shaken up.
"I told you, you don't have to do this alone. I-I won't judge you." She showed her fear in her words. He was after all the son of Lucius Malfoy, and if he thought he would judge her now after she hadn't judged him for all the things he'd said to her in her past, it was obviously more terrible than she had previously thought.
Despite her uncertainty, Hermione reached out for his hand and pulled him into the closest empty classroom, dreading that dinner would get out soon, and students would come trudging down the hall ruining her chance to have an actual conversation with Draco.
"Hermione, you're not understanding me. I don't want you to have any part in this." He said while towering over her and releasing her hand. His voice carrying that sarcastic undertone that reminded her of their spats in the past.
"Why not? If I mean anything to you, then you'll confide in me."
"I can't!" Draco's voice quivered in a yell. He glared at her, then turned to walk towards the door.
"Don't you dare leave me here Draco! You're just a scared little spoilt prat!"
He turned to face her again. "Oh, I'm a prat now, am I? If you cared about us at all, you would leave this be. You have no idea the things I have had to do, or the weight I am carrying on my shoulders. Not everything is relating to you, Potty or Weasel you know." At this point Hermione was backed up against the wall with Draco's arms on either side of her.
"I believe I asked you not to call them names." Hermione stated sternly. She looked at him curiously, than changed mirrored his own famous smirk on her lips. "Honestly this is all rubbish if you ask me."
"What is rubbish?"
"We're not even in a relationship yet and we're already being secretive, lying and getting in each other's faces. What makes you think we'd work in an actual relationship? We can't even talk properly."
With that she ducked from under his arms and to the door in just a moment.
"Oh now who is walking away?" he spat as she was out the door.
Draco took off his robe, throwing it on the floor, and pushed up the sleeves of his black button up shirt. He felt like screaming or punching a wall. This is exactly what he had been avoiding for the last 2 months. He didn't want to have this talk and planned on evading it for as long as he could. He grabbed a piece of parchment lying on the desk, scribbled out a note and ran up to the owlery as fast as he could. He spotted his Eagle Owl, attached the note to its leg and sent it off. Draco knew he could no longer hide from the inevitable.
It had been nearly two weeks since Hermione had received that note from the recognizable Eagle Owl. Nearly two weeks since Draco had been in classes, gone to meals, been on the tower, or even spotted in the halls. It was now early June. The sun was out, Ron was as testy as ever, Harry was hopelessly in love, Ginny was studying an insane amount for her upcoming O.W.L.'s and Hermione had spent as much time as possible researching Horcruxes, and the possible originator of Harry's potions book, which he had thrown into the vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement after his incident with the Sectumsemptra spell a month ago.
Hermione closed the book she had be reading, her eyes weary from exhaustion, and looked up at the clock. It wasn't late, but she figured she would go back to the common room, and tell Harry about her recent discovery in the old Prophet she was reading earlier. As she was walking, she subconsciously reached her hand into her pocket and pulled that note out of her pocket that she had kept always on her person for nearly two weeks.
Granger,
I don't want things to end, but it may be for the best. I only want you to be safe. Soon, I will send you another note, and all I ask is that you follow the instructions I give you to exact detail.
I love you still,
- D
Hermione had read over the note hundreds of times by now, but still didn't understand it, nor had she even thought of sending a reply. Draco obviously knew that he wouldn't see her; otherwise the note would have no purpose. She hadn't any word from him since, and had over analyzed each word he wrote as though the note was written entirely in code.
She worried about him constantly, but refused to cry. They weren't meant to be, and she knew it. No one would ever accept it, and she was still unsure how she went along with it. She did indeed care for him, but he made her question what love was. She had said it to him, but did she mean it? He had made her get butterflies and messed with her emotions. If that was what love was, Hermione wanted no part in it.
She mouthed the password to the common room and went through the opening the swinging portrait offered, instantly spotting Harry who was sitting next to Ron, beside the large window, attempting to finish an essay and obviously procrastinating.
Hermione marched over to him and explained all she knew of Elaine Prince, trying to convince him that she was the one who made all the notes in the margins of his potions book. Hermione didn't honestly believe that the originator of those many darks spells and side notes was a girl, but she had tried to convince Harry, solely for the purpose of her own hit to her intelligence since Harry had done so much better than she had in potions all year.
Harry and Ron both practically scoffed at her and Hermione walked off flustered and fully intending to go back to the library, but instead running up to her dorm to retrieve some more quills and parchment so she could make notes that could possibly connect all the clues she had unraveled.
She got distracted and began organizing her charms notes on her bed when she heard a low tap on her window. Hermione opened the window with caution, but only saw an Eagle Owl perched on the ledge. She quickly grabbed a treat for it, and detached the note from its leg with haste before shutting the window again.
Opening the parchment slowly, she read
Hermione,
I will send you another note within the next few hours. I need you
to pack up a bag with any basic utilities on hand. Do not let your
wand out of your site, whatever you do. Stay safe.
With love,
-D
After rereading the letter for possibly the tenth time, Hermione stared at the sheet of paper blankly. The writing was not Draco's normal elegant calligraphy but more of a scratchy scrawl, obviously written quickly. Blindly following the instructions, she grabbed her small red clutch with an undetectable extension charm and began to shove whatever she had in her sight into it. After realizing that a change of clothes, some snacks, parchments, books, quills and the wand in her pocket should be enough, she walked down into the commons again, only to run into Ron at the bottom of the stairs.
"Mione, I thought you said you were going to the library?" he asked.
"I-I was, but I got distracted."
"You? Distracted?" Ron smiled at the thought.
Hermione playfully hit his shoulder and smiled, completely forgetting she had come down for a forgotten purpose. Still holding her clutch, she went and sat next to the window and Ron sat beside her.
They started chatting like they did last year, and it felt so familiar and comforting to Hermione, like nothing had changed.
Cutting off their conversation, Hermione looked around the room for a familiar face, with round glasses.
"Ron, where is Harry?"
"Oh, he got an urgent message from Dumbledore right after you went upstairs and went straight to his office."
"And you just forgot to mention that until now?" Hermione said, her annoyance showing in her tone.
"Sorry, I wasn't thinking about it."
Hermione glared at him and sat in silence, hoping Harry would come back soon so she could bombard him with questions.
It seemed like a while before Harry ran into the commons and up to his dorm ignoring Hermione's calls, and within moments was back at the bottom of the stairs panting, holding a few objects in his hands.
He explained that he needed to be quick and threw the Marauder's Map towards Hermione and a pair of folded socks at Ron and rushed out and explanation about where he was going with Dumbledore and what they were doings. Hermione tried to hide the look of horror on her face but failed. Harry explained that the sock had his bottle of Felix Felicis in it and for them to take it and watch the map for Snape and Malfoy while he and Dumbledore were out the castle.
Before she could demand that he instead take the bottle of Felix, Harry had run out the door. She looked at Ron, asked him to give her a moment, grabbed her clutch off the nearby table and ran back up to her dorm. She tried to inspect both notes that Draco had sent her but again failed to decipher any meaning.
She had only been upstairs mere minutes when she heard another tap on her window, and opened it to see the familiar owl again. She tore the note from its leg and shut the window before the owl could peck her for not giving it a treat. The message looked crumpled and it was clear that it had again been sent in a hurry when she opened it to see the familiar, yet disheveled scrawl.
You don't have much time. Grab your things and leave the grounds if possible.
If not, go into the abandoned classroom near the Slytherin commons. Lock the
doors and use every protection charm you can on the room. Stay safe.
-D
Hermione read through the note, before crumpling it, throwing it on the ground and kicking it under her bed. Who does Malfoy think he is, telling her what to do? She had a shook off the voice in her head, telling her to hide, telling her something bad was about to happen, and instead walked back down to the commons to see a confused Ron holding a pair of socks and staring at floor.
He seemed disconnected to her presence until she lightly tapped his shoulder.
"I believe we were given a task, now let's go. Grab your protean galleon; you're going to need it." And with that she was half-pulling Ron out the door and towards Room of Requirement, the map in hand.
Sorry for the cliffy! Next chapter should be fucking awesome (excuse my language, this is in M after all.) -VA
(EDIT A/N) I went through the chapter and attempted to fix any mistakes I noticed. I finished this at 2am, be kind :) Also, I would like to note that this chapter has only been up for 10 hours, and I've already had more hits and visitors than any other chapter! And it isn't even noon yet!
Please Please Please review. I've gotten so many likes and alerts, but one review, which is upsetting. Thanks to Lingo10 for being such a faithful reviewer! The comments let me know what you think and what you'd like to see so please help me out here.
