The next morning, Chibs woke to an empty bed. He stretched languidly, cracking his toes, trying to remember the last time he'd slept so well. Sure, the reason he'd ended up in Ali's bed was worrisome, but he couldn't shake the feeling he was supposed to be there. The bedding smelt of her. Lavender and vanilla, he realized. Soft and calming, just like her. He was reluctant to leave her bed, not knowing if or when she'd let him join her among these sheets again.
With his clothes still in the guest room on the other side of the house, Chibs padded into the living room just wearing his dark grey boxers. He paused when he caught a delicious whiff of something baking and fresh coffee. He poked his head into the kitchen expecting to find Ali making breakfast, but the spotless kitchen was empty.
He frowned until he heard the faint strumming of a guitar and a soft melodic voice singing outside. Peaking through the sliding door, he caught sight of her sitting on the edge of the back deck with her back porch with an acoustic guitar on her lap and a cup of coffee and baking timer by her side. He smiled to himself, realizing she was lost in her own little world. She had a beautiful understated singing voice that washed over him like a healing balm. As much as he wanted to stay and listen to her, he chose to go find his pants before he joined her.
As he walked to the guest room, Chibs noticed how much the little house had changed since Ali had bought it. Gone were the tired pea soup green carpets, replaced by well-polished dark hardwood floors. The walls her now painted a light pewter instead of the dingy floral wall paper. The prominent red brick fireplace in the living room had been painted white and surrounded by two geometric patterned grey and off white accent chairs and an overstuffed sofa covered in soft heather grey micro-suede. In the center of the room was circular wrought iron and glass coffee table. Ali had added a splash of color with purple throw pillows and a plush matching purple rug that Chibs could imagine her curling her toes into as she sat reading by the fire.
The bedrooms and bedrooms all shared the same grey, off white and purple color scheme. It was a good combination of masculine and feminine. Chibs found he rather liked it. It was very Ali.
Chibs picked his jeans and slid them on to his muscular legs. He was about to slide his t-shirt on when he got an overwhelming scent of smoke and body odor. He decided to forgo the shirt for now, thinking maybe Ali would let him wash the damn thing. He opted to remain barefoot just out of comfort. It wasn't like he'd be going anywhere any time soon.
He slipped back into the kitchen, which had been completely gutted and replaced with something that was a combination of country charm and modern appliances. It opened to a good-sized dining room with a large log slab dining table with bench seating for eight. The stark white cabinetry was warmed up with grey-flecked white marble countertops and natural wood accents. Her two pride and joys were her island which had been reclaimed from an old butcher shop and the custom farm sink she'd had installed by the kitchen window so she could look out into the back garden while she did dishes.
He wondered absentmindedly, as he poured himself a cup of coffee, if she thought about watching her future children as they played in the yard. A small smile tugged at his lips as he imagined the small brunette with a chubby baby on her hip as she giggled and danced goofily around the garden. He'd seen her with Abel, Moby and Opie's kids to know she had it in her to be an amazing mother, but after her miscarriage he wasn't sure how she felt about motherhood now. He pushed the thought to the side and took his mug with him as he stepped through the open sliding glass door onto the back deck.
Ali didn't seem to notice him as she strummed away on her guitar. He leaned against the side of the house and took the moment just to watch her. He rarely got to see her in anything but her work clothes or jeans a t-shirts so seeing this much skin was novel to him. He hadn't had much of a chance to fully take in the sight of her the night before because he was so concerned with her mental state, but now his eyes were free to roam her body as they pleased. She was wearing and white spaghetti strap tank top and a pair of faded jean cutoff shorts. She'd left her hair down in soft effortless curls.
Chibs frowned as he took in the lash marks on her exposed upper back. It was the first time he'd seen the marks her ex had left on her. As the scars disappeared under her tank top he knew what he could see was only a fraction of the damage the bastard had caused.
Ali stopped abruptly, twisting around to look up at him with startled sapphire eyes when he swore under his breath.
"Sorry, Luv." He apologized quickly. "Didn't mean to frighten you."
She gave him a small smile, "Its alright."
Ali's eyes trailed down his naked chest. Being crushed against it while in the throes of terror didn't give her the chance to appreciate the view properly. Now in the light of day she was having a hard time not drooling. He wasn't exactly what society considered 'jacked,' but his strength was obvious. He had a bit of a tummy, but she found she didn't mind. It was his softer edges that made him wonderful to cuddle. Solid muscle and bones had never appealed to her.
The look in his eyes made her feel like she'd doused with ice water. She saw disgust and anger floating in his mahogany pools. It took her a moment to realize why. Her scars.
Ali sighed, "Do they repulse you so much?"
Chibs shook his head instantly catching on to the source of her tension, "I'm not one to judge about scars. They don't make you any less beautiful, Luv. I'm just pissed at the shithead who gave them to you."
He smiled in relief, as his comments seemed to mollify her. He decided it was best to move away from that sensitive subject.
"I didn't know you could play." He indicated the blue acoustic guitar she held in her lap.
"Only a little."
"Is there anything you can't do?" He asked with a chuckle.
'Have you,' she thought bitterly.
She was saved from having to answer by the baking timer screaming for attention. She reached over to shut it off and set her guitar down on the deck. Ali got up and walked past him into the kitchen. Ali pulled on a pair of oven mitts and opened the oven to pull out a pan of perfectly golden blueberry muffins. She set them on top of the stove.
Chibs had followed closely behind her, appreciating that her little shorts barely covered the bottom curve of her lovely ass. If this was how she dressed around the house he might have to come by more often. Her baking was just another added incentive.
Chibs took a sip of his coffee, watching her putter around the kitchen. She pulled out a baking rack and painstakingly removed the muffins from the pan to cool. She didn't really pay him much attention as she took the still warm pan over to the sink to wash. He wasn't fond of the tense silence that was building between them. He was over come with the need to clear the air between them.
"So, you wanna talk about what happened last night?"
"Not really." Ali dismissed him, focusing on scrubbing the pan in her hands.
"Come on girl, its not healthy to keep that shit bottled up."
"It's not important."
"Bullshit! You were screaming bloody murder last night. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call the cops. That's kind of important, Ali. What had you so scared?" He was getting annoyed that she would downplay everything like that.
"It was just a bad dream. I've been kinda stressed lately if you hadn't noticed." She sneered at him.
"Why won't you just talk to me?"
"Just drop it."
"No."
She wiped her hands on a dishtowel and made to move past him but he stopped her by slamming his palm against the wall, blocking her path. His face has inches from hers, his eyes boring into hers with intensity she'd never seen. He was gritting his teeth trying to control his anger.
"Don't run away from me." He growled.
"Let me go, Chibs. I'm not your responsibility."
"Ali…" He warned.
"No. You don't get to tell me what to do. You're not my old man."
Chibs flinched. He supposed he deserved that. His features softened as Ali tore her eyes away from his to examine her feet.
"Why do you even care so much?"
Chibs gently cupped the side of her face in his hand left hand.
"Luv, you have to know how I feel about you… about us?"
Ali pushed his hand away.
"There is no us." She whispered harshly.
"Don't say that."
Ali snapped her head back up to glare at him, "It's the truth! You're a married man, Chibs!"
"I… look… it's complicated."
"So I've heard," Ali crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "Why didn't you tell me about Fiona or your daughter? Didn't you think I might deserve to know about them?"
Chibs sighed, "We've been apart for so long… I honestly didn't think about it."
"I don't believe that. You don't just wake up one day and forget you have a wife and kid."
"It hasn't been an issue before now."
"What kind of women have you been with?"
"None that mattered."
"So you're saying I do?"
"Of course!"
"Then I shouldn't have had to hear the truth from Gemma."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, alright? That's what you want me to say isn't it?"
"It helps, but it doesn't change anything."
"What can I do to make this right?"
"Just answer me. Do you still love Fiona?"
"I… Yes." He answered honestly, dropping the arm that held her in place.
"Then there can't be an us. I can't and won't be anyone's 'other woman.'"
"But, Ali…"
"No. I don't need this shit right now." She brushed past him into the living room.
"Maybe you should just leave… I'm sure Clay can find someone else to babysit me."
"Oh hell no. I'm letting some other fucker protect the woman I…"
Chibs was interrupted by a knock at the door. Ali shot him a warning look as she threw on a light grey cardigan from her coat rack, covering her scars before she went to answer it. She was surprised to see Juice, Clay and a handful of prospects carrying a bunch of boxes.
"Hey baby." Clay greeted her with a kiss to the forehead.
"Hey, what's all this?" She asked stepping back to let the guys in.
"We cleared out Half-sack's apartment for you." Clay took at look at Chibs standing shirtless in Ali's living room and instantly felt the tension between the two. "Is there something I should know?" He asked raising an eyebrow.
"Umm…The boxes can go in the garage." Ali sidestepped the question with a nervous smile.
Ali slipped on a pair of flip-flops, grabbed her garage door opener and led the boys out to the detached building next to her home. Clay hung back looking at his Scottish friend suspiciously.
"What's going on with you two?"
"Nothing." Chibs grumbled.
"Did you fuck her?" Clay asked plainly.
"What? No." Chibs held up his hands defensively.
Clay shook his head, clearly not convinced, "Put a shirt on, brother."
As the Scot disappeared down the hall, Ali and the other boys walked back through the front door.
"Come on into the kitchen guys and have some coffee… I made muffins." Ali welcomed.
Just because she felt like shit emotionally didn't mean she couldn't be a good hostess. She led the entire crew into her kitchen and began doling out the coffee and baked goods. Chibs, now fully dressed, slipped back into the kitchen behind them and snagged a muffin out of Juice's hand, taking a large bite. The Puerto Rican glared at his older brother before reaching for another muffin.
"You doin' alright, sweetheart?" Clay asked as she handed him a cup of coffee.
"As well as can be expected, I guess. Have you heard from Gemma?" Ali asked trying to divert attention away from her feelings.
Chibs noticed what she was doing but kept his mouth shut.
"She's holding up okay, but she wants to see her grandson."
"You need to tell her about Abel, Clay."
"It would only make her do something stupid. Its bad enough she's insisting on being at your brother's wake. She knows Stahl is watching our every more waiting for her to slip up." Clay explained.
Ali nodded sadly, "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"You've already done plenty. And don't you worry about the wake or funeral, we've got everything taken care of."
Ali gave the older man a watery smile and threw her arms around his neck, "Thanks, Clay."
"Don't mention it, baby."
Clays cell phone started ringing. He pulled away from Ali to answer it.
"Jax?" He answered.
"They found the boat. Get the guys to meet me at the Marina." Jax told him.
"Wait for us. Don't do anything stupid." Clay was already waving the guys towards the front door.
The line went dead, "Shit!"
"What's going on Clay?" Ali asked watching the guys filed out of her kitchen.
"Found the boat. Phil, stay with her" Clay pointed at Ali, "Do anything she says, got it?"
Chibs bristled at the thought of leaving Ali with a prospect.
The big man nodded seriously, "Yes, sir."
Chibs hung back noticing the nervous look on Ali's face. She met his gaze and he saw the worry in her eyes. She may be pissed at him, but she still cared.
"Be careful, Chibs," she whispered, nibbling on her lower lip to ease the building tension.
Ali gasped as Chibs pinned her against the nearest wall and brought his lips crashing down against hers. His grip on her hips was almost bruising as he ground his pelvis gently against her. She moaned softly, instinctively tangling her fingers in his unkempt locks. His goatee scratched her chin pleasantly as he slipped his tongue past her lips to massage and battle with her own.
The new sensations building between them were all encompassing. The world seemed to fade away as they were enveloped in a thick miasma of lust and longing. It was deliciously suffocating.
A throat cleared uncomfortably, breaking the spell. Chibs pulled away from Ali to glare at Phil, who was standing in the doorway.
"They're waiting for you, Chibs." He explained.
Chibs nodded grimly turning back to Ali. Her pink abused lips, wide eyes sparkling with confused lust and the slight heave of her chest as she panted away her breathlessness… Chibs swore if it weren't for the importance of his current mission he's be carrying her off to the bedroom to fuck her senseless, his marriage be damned.
He leaned in to growl dangerously in Ali's ear, "Our little discussion isn't over." He smirked in satisfaction when she whimpered as he pulled away.
As he hurried out the door, he missed the big prospect trying to get her attention.
"I'm sorry what?" Ali asked as she fell back to earth.
"I was asking if you were alright?" Phil tried again.
With a frustrated half smile she shook her head, "That man plays dirty."
The following days flew by in a whirlwind of chaos. Ali tried to hold her life together by a flimsy thread. She's lain her brother to rest beside his military brethren, Cameron was discovered to have fled to Belfast and had been killed by the True IRA for his actions and then Gemma had returned to Charming in secrecy only to going into cardiac arrest when she received a call from Maureen Ashby, a SAMBEL old lady with ties to the IRA who informed her that Abel was alive and safe in Belfast. Now the boys were preparing to visit the Emerald Isle.
Ali did her best to stay the hell out of the way and threw herself into her work. She tried not to think about the dangers her new family was going to encounter in Belfast. She couldn't bring herself to think there was a chance she could lose any of them.
She found herself struggling not to contemplate Chibs and Fiona being in close proximity again. The thought of him with his wife bothered her, even though she knew it shouldn't.
The night before the boys were to leave for Belfast, Chibs showed up at Ali's door.
"What are you doing here?" Ali asked as she blocked the doorway with her body.
She knew if she let him in she'd do something she'd regret.
"I told you. Our discussion isn't over." He explained.
Ali shook her head, "We can't keep doing this, Chibs. Its not fair to either of us."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Leave." She said simply.
Chibs frowned, "I'm not leaving until we talk."
"I don't know what else there is to say, Chibs." Ali sighed.
"I want you, Ali." Chibs blurted out.
Ali raised an eyebrow, "And Fiona?"
"Aye." He nodded.
Ali shook her head, "You can't have it both ways."
"I know that." His shoulders slumped.
"So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know, Luv." He answered truthfully.
"Wrong answer." Ali frowned in irritation, "What if Fiona wants you back… wants to be a family again with you and Kerrianne? What are you doing to tell her?"
"Don't make me say it." Chibs pleaded.
"You don't have to. I already have my answer, just don't expect me to be waiting around if she turns you down." Ali huffed crossing her arms across her chest.
"I don't want to hurt you, but you have to understand, she's…"
"Your wife. I get it. Trust me I do. You're doing the honorable thing. I can respect that." Ali looked down and lowered her voice, "Even if it hurts like hell."
Chibs felt his heart twist painfully in his chest. He hated doing this to her. He just couldn't seem to bring himself to let her go. She was already embedded in his flesh. He had to know.
"Do you love me, Ali?" He asked softly, cupping her cheek in his hand.
"I can't…" Ali whimpered before taking a deep breath to steady her resolve, "Go get your family back. Be safe. Be happy and just forget about me."
"I could never do that." He held her face in his hands trying to will her to understand.
Chibs gently brushed his lips against Ali's, savoring her sweetness while trying to swallow back the feeling that they were saying goodbye.
"Try." She whispered against his lips as she pulled away and stepped back, closing the door in his face before he could protest.
A/N: Hello again my Darlings. I know I can be infuriating, but bear with me. Chibs has to endure Ireland and Ali will have her own shit to deal with on the home front. Work's been surprisingly slow this week so I've got another backlog of notebook scribblings to type up and post this weekend, so expect another chapter by Sunday. If you're wondering, I imagine Ali playing Passenger's "Let Her Go."
Read and review.
All my love.
MissAliVee
