Total Drama Insanity
Well, it's time to pick up where we left off...you know, with all the campers vandalizing mansions and all that...but who will cause the most destruction and most damage to public property? You're going to find out in this chapter...it's going to be a blast...well, in more than one way of speaking, that is.
Chapter 8: The Big Bang
"Welcome back to Total Drama Island...I bet you hate those lousy commercial breaks, don't you? They just make you want to fall asleep or start calling the cable company...but that's how the world works...it's a cruel world full of mean nasty people! Get over it!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"Anyway...the contestants are vandalizing the luxurious mansions as we speak...eventually we're going to have a winner...personally I hope that it' s going to be Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot again...because you know, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself is the worst team in history..."
"Now then, let's sit back and watch the fun...at least I know I'm going to have fun...those campers always get themselves in so many hilarious situations...why nobody ever dies on the show, I have no idea. Do the campers have a guardian angel watching over them or something?" she stated.
In the Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot (although personally I think she's really really really really really not) mansion...
For a moment, it looked like things were going well for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot. They had already destroyed much of the furniture and were destroying more of it at a rapid pace. To make a long story short, it looked as if they were winning, and that nothing could possibly go wrong.
But all good things must come to an end, and the tables would eventually turn in their opponent's favor...as Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot were unfortunately about to discover.
"Here I go!" exclaimed Mike, getting ready for action.
As usual, the teenager with multiple personality disorder pulled out his overly-sized hammer and got ready to smash a priceless-looking chair to pieces...
...but to put it mildly, his aiming was a bit off. In fact, he missed entirely...and instead ended up hurting himself.
"Oh c'mon!" he screamed, angry at the unfortunate turns of events. How could he have been so clumsy?
And as you may know, whenever Mike got frustrated, his Chester personality kicked in. And it wasn't exactly helpful for challenges that required strength.
"What? Where am I? What are you rascals doing? You're making a racket! Calm yourself down, fellers!" exclaimed Mike.
"Oh dear..." stated Cameron, immediately realizing what was happening.
Mike kept on acting more and more senile. He started rambling about the days he participated in World War I and how he killed fifty men, how he single-handedly destroyed the entire German army, and how he ended up getting a medal for bravery. Suddenly, he fell asleep and began snoring.
"This isn't good...wake up Mikey! This isn't the time or place to be sleeping! You can do it in the cabin!" stated Zoey.
"Do you want to sleep with him or something?" questioned Dakota.
"We're not that intimate yet!" exclaimed the indie chick, her cheeks turning red as she did so.
Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot kept trying to wake Mike up, but nothing worked, not even screaming at the top of their lungs or playing Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black music. He simply kept on dozing and dozing and dozing.
"This isn't good...we're short one teammate...what are we going to do?" said Sam.
"Whoopee." retorted Gwen.
"I wonder how the other team is doing? Probably better than we are right now..." questioned Dakota.
"Well, they have two members less than we do...we might still be able to pull through regardless." stated Cameron.
Suddenly, another disaster occurred for the team...in this case, Sam hit his foot with his hammer. More specifically, he hit it really hard.
"OW! OW! OW!" exclaimed Sam. Apparently, he was in a lot of pain all of a sudden. Something was wrong.
"SAM!" screamed Dakota. Was her boyfriend going to be safe?
Unfortunately, it looked as if he had injured his foot rather bad, because all of a sudden he had a rather hard time walking. Would he need to wear crutches? Would he need to use a wheelchair?
B frowned. Why were things getting so bad for his team all of a sudden? It wasn't like Scott was on the island anymore...yet for some reason it seemed like his teammates were still getting sabotaged and that they were still failing. What was the world coming to?
"Just when things were looking so well for us...are we going to be able to keep our winning streak? It looks like this might be the winds of change for us...that's what happened in the first season, after all." thought Tyler.
Confessional: What a horrible twist of fate for Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot.
Mike: *he is still sleeping* Zoey is so freaking hot...zzz...
Sam: I might need to have Nurse Hatchet take a look at it...still, looking at Chef in a nurse's outfit is rather horrifying. Hopefully my foot will get better soon.
Dakota: Is Sam going to be OK? I heard that the Playas Des Losers has amazing medical care...but if Blaineley can help it I don't want him to be booted out so early like I was last season...stupid Scott...
Zoey: Maybe if I make out with Mike, then he'll wake up...still, I'm not sure if I should try that in public.
Gwen: This challenge seemed like a disaster from the start if you ask me...I mean, does it even sound like a good idea to you? What was Blaineley thinking?
Meanwhile in the other mansion...
As it turns out, Heather and Duncan were still fighting over something rather petty. Apparently neither of them could overcome a grudge. On the lighter side of things, they were destroying quite a few things during their rampage.
Izzy had even gotten some popcorn for her campers to eat as well as some soda...apparently, she enjoyed it a little too much. Alejandro's money was on Heather, while Brick's money was on Duncan's.
The needless violence and fighting between Heather and Duncan raged on and on...until suddenly, something unexpected happened...they ended up accidentally pressing the self-destruct button.
As it turned out, Blaineley had also placed a self-destruct button in Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself's mansion that would blow up the building after a certain period of time.
Of course, this would put the campers in serious danger if one of them decided to press it, but she wasn't exactly caring. Besides, all the interns were now dead or at the hospital due to Chris's actions, so she couldn't give it a test run.
Due to the fact that she was biased towards their opponents, she had hid it rather well...but due to the fact that Heather and Duncan were fighting rather blindly this did not hinder them at all.
A warning message started blaring throughout the mansion, and red lights started illuminating it. Things certainly looked bad. In fact, it looked as if our campers' days were now numbered.
"This mansion will self-destruct in just a few minutes. Thank you and have a nice day assuming you don't perish in the blast. Maybe if you survive you'll be in the news. Won't that be fine and dandy?" stated a lady's voice.
"What the heck was Blaineley thinking?! Does she want us to get killed or something?! Then again she does seem to hate us a lot...she named us after her archenemy after all." screamed Alejandro.
"Are we going to die? I have so much more to live for! Except maybe for Sierra making out with me..." asked Cody.
On cue, Sierra began to hug Cody. Really tightly. In fact, he was starting to run out of oxygen. Would he better off hugging a cactus?
"I've always loved you, Cody!" exclaimed Sierra.
"Help me..." he murmured.
"Run for your lives! And hope Blaineley gets sued by our parents for putting them in danger!" exclaimed Lightning.
And run the campers did. Unsurprisingly, Cameron and Duncan ended up screaming like little girls as they did so...as for the female teammates...they simply screamed like teenage girls. Everyone else screamed like a guy.
Thankfully, the mansion did not collapse in any way or form whatsoever, so nobody ended up being pinned under any rubble. In fact, everyone managed to escape the mansion without getting hurt...with the unfortunate exception of Izzy, who stayed behind and ended up being covered with ashes when the mansion finally exploded.
Strangely, she did not seem to be harmed by the explosion at all. Perhaps it was because she was a cartoon character.
"That was totally wicked! Let's do it again! Maybe if we're lucky we'll be able to do it in slow motion!" exclaimed Izzy.
"How'd you survive the explosion? And I don't think we should try that again...we might not be as lucky if there's a next time." questioned Brick.
"We're probably better off not knowing how she survived. Some mysteries are best left unsolved...although personally I'm curious too." answered Cody.
"A wizard did it!" exclaimed Izzy.
"A wizard? You've been reading way too much Harry Potter." questioned Heather.
"Snape kills Dumbledore!" yelled Izzy.
"I haven't read that part yet! What the heck was that for? Sheesh! Can't I just read a book from beginning to end?" bellowed Brick.
Unsurprisingly, Blaineley wasn't too happy about the turn of events, as she was hoping Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself would lose yet again and that therefore Team Blaineley Is As Really Really Really Really Hot would get a three-day winning streak.
"You've got to be kidding me...fine fine fine, since you blew up the entire mansion, you don't have to vote someone off today...but I hope that next time you will!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"Hooray!" exclaimed Ezekiel. Suffice to say, he was pretty happy since victory meant no bonfire ceremony.
Sierra even hugged Cody...although he wasn't too thrilled about that.
"You're choking me..." he murmured.
Confessional: Today's a lucky day for Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself.
Chef: I have to question Blaineley's logic in putting a self-destruct button in the mansion...everyone knows those are incredibly dangerous...and there's always someone that wants to press it.
Cody: *he is gasping for breath* Must... get...a...restraining...order...against...Sierra.. .
Blaineley: *her face is red for rage* Oh c'mon! This cannot be happening! I am so freaking mad right now! They must have cheated or something! Ugh!
Ezekiel: *he is celebrating* Yes! At this rate I'm going to win this season for sure!
Shortly afterward, Blaineley called Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot and told them that they had lost the challenge for today.
They immediately groaned in unison. Now they were the ones that were going to have to attend a bonfire ceremony! In other words, they were going to lose a possibly valuable member of their team.
Granted, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself would still be lacking a team member so they would still have the advantage, but it still really wasn't something they should look forward to.
"In retrospect we should have seen this one coming...how could we have done so badly? Then again Blaineley did give us a self-destruct button to help us win the challenge...but still!" questioned Owen.
"I was afraid that this was going to happen...it's just as I predicted." stated Dawn.
B immediately frowned. Would he once again end up being the third contestant voted off? Then again, Scott had already been eliminated, and he wasn't on the same team as him this time.
For some strange reason, was still sleeping despite the fact that his team lost...it was actually rather ironic considering bonfire ceremonies were usually nightmares considering what happened there. He probably wouldn't be taking a snooze if he ended up being voted off the island.
Zoey began to worry. Would her boyfriend end up being voted off? He had decided to take a snooze during the challenge...which naturally wasn't too helpful for her teammates.
"Who are we going to vote off now? We've all known each other since last season...this is going to be really hard." questioned Dakota.
"That's your problem. Deal with it!" exclaimed Blaineley.
Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot sighed. Apparently Blaineley wasn't being too sympathetic with them seeing though they were the big losers for today.
"I just hope Lindsay doesn't get voted off...people keep saying that she isn't bright..." thought Tyler.
Confessional: It's hard to vote people off the island...unless there are filler characters or jerkfaces around...those are usually easy to vote off...
Lindsay: Let's just hope that I don't accidentally vote myself off like I did in Total Drama Action...erm, what were my contestants' names again? I always have such a hard time voting...
Tyler: I'm voting for Mike...hopefully he can get some rest at the playa. It's supposed to be like heaven after all.
Dawn: A winning streak can only go for so long. It was only a matter of time before we'd end up like this.
Owen: I guess I'll vote for Sam...he's not exactly fit for challenges with his foot being injured like that.
Later at the mess hall...
Ezekiel was feeling rather satisfied...for once he was part of the winning team for a change...today was his lucky day. However, his teammates did not see why he had to raise his hands in the air and celebrate his victory all the time.
"Take it easy, dude. It's just a game, remember?" Cody stated.
"Eh? If it's just a game, then why is there a million dollars and fifty cents at stake?" questioned Ezekiel.
"I mostly just think about the million and not the fifty cents that go with it...but then again that's just me." answered Brick.
"If one of us wins, then what should we do with the fifty cents? Get a gumball or something? Personally I'd like to share a milkshake with Cody if I won..." questioned Sierra.
Cody sweatdropped.
"If Lightning wins again, he's going to buy another football stadium!" exclaimed Lightning.
"What are you going to do with another football stadium? Something tells me that you never even use it..." interrogated Heather.
"You're just wasting your money, you know. You should spend it on something that will give you good looks. That way everyone will adore you." retorted Alejandro.
"I'd use it to buy a rocket launcher! That would be awesome! I'll blow everything to smithereens!" exclaimed Izzy.
"Those are dangerous, Izzy. They're not exactly toys. You could kill someone using those." pointed out Cody, not wanting her to end up hurting herself even though she enjoyed pain.
"Who cares?" asked the redhead.
"Like Cody said, they're not something that you should play with." warned Ezekiel.
"But I love playing with explosives!" exclaimed Izzy.
"Stop playing with them then." answered Heather.
Confessional: Cody is right. You should never play with explosives...you'll blow your arm off or something, and that would be a tragedy. Unless of course you're Scott, since nobody cares about you.
Izzy: Wait! I got a better idea! Maybe I should buy an atomic bomb! Or a nuke! Those are totally wicked!
Cody: I have to wonder if having Izzy in our team is going to harm us in the near future...of course, we can always vote her off, but still!
Heather: Why do I have to bunk with people that belong in an asylum?
Alejandro: It's a shame that I can't use my good looks on my contestants anymore...it's just not the same. At least maybe this time I won't end up like Darth Vader...lousy Star Wars references...
Ezekiel: Hopefully, I won't end up as a Gollum-like being like I did in the third season...that was kind of embarrasing to be honest with you...
At the bonfire ceremony of doom...
Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Hot were being yelled at Blaineley, who wasn't too happy at them for losing despite the fact that she had tilted the game in their favor. This only made them feel worse about themselves.
Of course, Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself had gotten rather lucky for a change...especially Ezekiel, since he now had a spot for the next day of the challenge. As for them, not so much.
"I'm seriously disappointed in you all. I gave you what you needed to win the challenge, yet you decided to lose it anyway! You are really dumb, you know that? Sheesh, I could have sworn that you were smarter..." bellowed Blaineley.
Suffice to say, Blaineley really liked to rub salt in the wound, and the campers immediately began to sigh. Unsurprisingly, they certainly did not want to lose another challenge. Would they have better luck tommorrow?
"Will you just shut up?" inquired Gwen.
"You better not be telling that to Lindsay." pouted Tyler, who as always was trying to defend his girlfriend.
"Why are people always calling me stupid? I always got fantastic grades at elementary school...Fs for short." answered Lindsay.
Tyler facepalmed.
Sam's foot was wrapped in a cast...apparently, it wasn't going to be getting any better soon. Would he be in shape for future challenges? Personally his teammates doubted it.
Mike on the other head was now snoring...apparently he was dreaming about Zoey because he kept talking about how hot she was. Zoey immediately sweatdropped.
"Let's just get this over with and hope you won't be disappointing failures in the next episode." said Blaineley.
"Did you just break the fourth wall?" questioned Cameron.
"Who cares? This is a freaking reality show! I can do whatever I want! Now then, let's see whose going to be in the next episode...hopefully not you." retorted Blaineley. "Now then, I'm going to give you your marshmallows, so you better shut up."
Blaineley then started throwing marshmallows at the campers. They noted that they were rather stale.
"First up is...Zoey."
"Next is Beverly...I mean B."
B blushed in embarrasment. Did she just reveal his true name on purpose?
"Dawn."
"Lindsay."
"Tyler."
"Cameron..." said Blaineley, coughing shortly afterwards.
"Owen."
"Dakota."
"Gwen."
All that were left now were Mike and Sam...Mike simply continued snoring while Sam began to get concerned.
"And the last marshmallow goes to..."
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"Mike."
Mike suddenly woke up upon hearing his name.
"Finally!" exclaimed Gwen.
"What's going on? Where am I? Wait...why am I at the bonfire ceremony?" he asked.
"Because we lost the challenge, Mikey." answered Zoey sadly.
Sam and Dakota were both unhappy at the turn of events, and decided to share a farewell kiss.
"Try to win the next challenge for me and your teammates, OK Dakota? I don't want you to give up just because of me..." asked Sam.
"I will, Sam. I will." answered Dakota.
"It's no big deal...I'm sure you'll get voted off in the next episode, anyway. It's not like you ever had any fans." taunted Blaineley.
Dakota frowned.
"Real mature, Blaineley." answered Gwen, rolling her eyes.
After Sam and Dakota gave their farewells, Sam was launched out of the cannon and into the night.
"It's not like anyone liked that nerd anyway. Goodbye and good riddance. Now then, I hope Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself loses in the near future..." Blaineley stated.
Afterwards, the campers went back to their cabins. Our least favorite hostess then began to think of a way to make Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself lose once more so that her favorite team could stay in the game.
"There must be a way to stop Team Bridgette from winning...I just need to think of something...hmm...what should I do?" she thought. She had to come up with a plan of some kind if she was going to prevent Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot from losing again.
Suddenly, she got an idea...
"I know exactly what to do...I'll just cheat them out of the game! That's what Bridgette herself deserves after all...that's what happened to her in season three...it was hilarious, I can tell you that." Blaineley stated.
"Why are you talking to yourself?" questioned Chef. As it turns out, he had decided to pay her a visit.
"None of your beeswax!" exclaimed Blaineley.
"Sheesh...take it easy Blaineley. I just wanted to talk to you. Apparently the workers that repaired my kitchen have decided to go on strike because you weren't paying them too well." answered Chef.
"Nobody cares about them! My money is more important!" bellowed Blaineley.
"They say that money can't buy happiness." pointed out Chef.
"Of course it can!" shouted Blaineley.
"Whatever you say." stated Chef.
Votes:
Owen: Sam
Dakota: Mike
Zoey: Sam
Gwen: Mike
Dawn: Mike
B: Mike
Lindsay: Sam
Tyler: Sam
Sam: Mike
Cameron: Sam
Mike: Sam
Sam: 6
Mike: 5
Team Blaineley Is Really Really Really Really Hot: Dawn, B, Owen, Gwen, Dakota, Zoey, Mike, Lindsay, Tyler, Cameron
Team Bridgette Is As Ugly As Chef Himself: Heather, Duncan, Brick, Alejandro, Cody, Sierra, Ezekiel, Izzy, Lightning
Voted off: Courtney, Scott, Sam
What a surprising elimination this turned to be...of course, you probably saw Courtney and Scott's eliminations coming from a mile away...but I can't make all the bonfire ceremonies predictable...that wouldn't be too exciting, now would it?
But not to worry, you'll be seeing Sam in the aftermath specials...since you guys all love him, am I right?
In the next chapter, our heroes are going to be playing a game of baseball...you know, three strikes and you're out and all that...
