Omake #1 ('Coz you know there will be more...)
Part #1
Starring...
EDWARD CULLEN as EDO-KUN, THE SEXY GUNSLINGER
BELLA SWAN (Cullen?) as SWAN-SAN, THE STORY FOCUS/GIRL IN DISTRESS
ALICE CULLEN and ROSALIE HALE as ARA and ROSE, THE CROOKED COPS
EMMETT CULLEN as FRO DADDY, THE BIG KIDNAPPER
CARLISLE CULLEN as CARL, THE SMART KIDNAPPER
ESME CULLEN asELLE THE PIMP-ETTE
KITOURA SCARBLOOD as KITTEN-CHAN, THE GOTHIC LOLITA MAGICAL GIRL
JASPER HALE/JACOB BLACK (JASCOB) as BLACK CAT, THE GUY WITH PROBLEMS
LIZZE as ROXXI, THE RABID FAN
ME as BIRCHKITTY, THE AUTHOR
HOLY-CRAP-I-FORGOT-TO-DO-MY-SCIENCE-PROJECT PRODUCTIONS
and
I-ALSO-FORGOT-TO-READ-THE-CHAPTERS-OF-THAT-DAMN-BOOK-I'M-SO-FUCKED STUDIOS
present...
FORKS VICE!
Part 1:
Washington, Baby!
The rabid fan, Roxxi, burst into the author's bedroom. "YOU BITCH!" she roared. "WHY HAVEN'T YOU UPDATED?! I WILL KILL YOU, AND DEVOUR YOUR BABIES!"
BirchKitty, the author whimpered. "Please don't hurt me! Some bad vampires stole Swan-san!"
"Swan-san?"
"Bella! The focus of the story!"
The rabid fan gasped. "This calls for some extra help! HELP US, SEXY GUNSLINGER!"
Theme music started.
Rip-off rip-off rip-off rip-off, EDO-KUN!
Roxxi and BirchKitty dropped to their knees. "TAKE US NOW, MOST SEXY OF ALL GUNSLINGERS!"
Edo-kun smiled. "Maybe later, but I have a story focus to rescue! SILVER VOLVO AWAY!"
Meanwhile...Somewhere...Away...
"Auww...Where are you taking me?" Swan-san asked, dizzy.
Fro Daddy smirked. "Washington, Baby."
"What? The city? Oh, I'd live to see Washington!"
"No, the state."
"Oh. Okay then. Carry on."
Fro Daddy gave an evil cackle. "Don't get too comfortable!"
"Come on, Fro Daddy, let's move!" Carl said, closing the trunk of the Jeep. They drove off.
They let Swan-san out of the trunk when they pulled into the main street of Seattle.
"Where are we?" She inquired.
"Seattle, baby." Fro Daddy answered.
"Walk, story focus, or you're dead!" Carl pushed her into a walk. He shoved pizza into her hands. "Eat."
"Why are you doing this?" Swan-san whimpered.
"We have a contact interested in a pretty little focus like you for his...Collection." Carl replied. "And if you don't be quiet and eat your pizza, I'll break you in two."
There was a figured hunched in their way, a little up the street.
"Hey! Out of the way!" Fro Daddy snapped.
Suddenly, there was a gun pointed at his head. "Don't you threaten one of my girls!"
Fro Daddy gasped. "Elle the pimp-ette!"
"You shouldn't bully my girl. It makes me –" BLAM! "-Very-" BLAM! "Unhappy!" Click. "Oh, my poor magnum! It jammed! Foo." She took Swan-san by the hand. "Oh, you're a cute one! The boys are just going to eat you up!"
"Who are you?" Swan-san asked.
There was a large explosion. Elle ran out of the way of a large rubble-ball.
Someone threw her arms around Swan-san's neck. "Aww, did the bad men scare you, little story-focus?" The gothic Lolita girl cooed.
Swan-san span. "What do you want?"
She smiled. "Swan-san, I am Kitten-chan! I'm not like all those bad people, I only want to suck you dry of all your emotions." She pulled out a wand, a broom levitating behind her. "Stay still now."
Swan-san screamed and ran.
