A/N: I'm SOOOOOO SORRY! I had internet issues after the move, and then...things happened, and I just didn't have the inspiration to write. I had started this chapter a few weeks ago, and couldn't finish it for some reason. This morning, I woke up, opened my windows, and everything was covered in snow. And it was like POW! I needed to write.
Yes, I draw inspiration from things like snow. And grilled cheese sandwiches. Don't judge me.
A little Edward appetizer anyone? Um...I think I might be hungry.
Edward's P.O.V.
Alice had always said that I had a flare for melodramatics. Personally I disagreed. Pre-Bella, I was relatively normal. I led a normal, vampire life. I hunted, I went to school, I obeyed.
And then I met her.
My world...exploded. From the first second I laid eyes on her, I knew she was different, special. Her mind was a vault, and even my special talent was not enough to unlock its mystery. But I had no idea just how special she was.
At first, she was...hideous to me. My very own monster sent to me directly from the fiery pits of Hades as a form of personal torture. I tried my hardest to resist, not only her blood, but to refrain from touching her. From stroking her face or holding her hand.
And then, like so many before me, I fell in love.
Love. A four letter word. It was amazing how that silly word could describe what I was lacking for an entire century of my existence. It was even more ludicrous how that very same emotion was making me feel at the moment.
I had always thought that she was beautiful, even in her human form, she captivated me. I was entranced by her wide, innocent brown eyes. Bewitched by the flush in her cheek as she was so easily flustered. But her natural beauty as a human could not hold a candle to the inhuman, almost painful beauty that she was now. I thought resisting the urge to touch her when she was a human was difficult, but that was nothing compared the massive amounts of self restraint I had to possess in her presence only a short while ago.
I had to bite down on my tongue, in my attempt to refrain from breaking the physical barrier that she had so obviously produced. It was agony to keep from stroking her lustrous chocolate brown hair. From cupping her pale and smooth cheek. From kissing her red and pouty lips. I sighed yet again, disappointed in myself for letting my thoughts drift to her, and focused my attention on the present.
It was night—when wasn't it?—and I was sitting in the BMW, staring blankly out of the windshield. The car was off, and I didn't bother to play any music. What was the point?
I looked down at phone, the plastic nuisance, and picked it up with less grace then usual. I fumbled over the simple buttons and sighed at what I saw. 23 missed calls. 18 voicemails.
I sighed once more, and contemplated throwing the phone out of the window before I decided against it.
I had also made other decisions while sitting in the dark car.
For example, not buying a plane ticket and heading straight to Volterra was one. I had promised her I would wait for her. I knew that she loved me, but for some reason she refused me. No, not for some reason, she believed that everything was her fault from Charlie's death—which shocked me beyond belief—to being turned into a vampire.
I would wait. I owed her that.
The other decision I had made was that I would stay with my family. Even though I had failed them—countless times—by not bringing Bella back, they would welcome me home like the prodigal, just as always. They would be disappointed, but they would respect my decision to leave her alone, until she was ready.
I sighed again and picked up my cell phone. I dialed the number with my nimble, speedy fingers. It was answered before the first ring was over. Alice.
"It's me. Yeah, I'm coming home."
Bella's POV
Killing Victoria was infinitely easier then I had anticipated. Silencing her screams of agony was a relief, to be completely honest. It brought me a sense of odd accomplishment and satisfaction as I heard the sound of her stony flesh being ripped apart.
There was a sick, twisted smile on my face as I pulled the small, golden lighter from my pocket. I had carried it with me ever since I had resolved to destroy her. I lit a small piece of tinder and watched as the fire grew in the small controlled circle I had constructed for it.
The red flames consumed the bits of her snowy white flesh, and were slightly reminiscent of her chaotic hair. I brought a hand up to cover my nose and mouth as the purple smoke began to rise in billowing clouds. It strongly reminded me of incense, and was so thick that I stopped breathing altogether. Watching the flames consume her, I briefly wondered how I would come to an end. And once I did, would I be headed straight for hell?
It could hardly be worse than this.
Nothing could be worse then this self-inflicted wound. This dull, aching agony. The hole in my chest rekindled with a passion. I wrapped my arms around myself without realizing what I was doing. This simple act of comfort had become second nature to me. But it was less out of comfort, and more of necessity. If I didn't physically hold myself together, I would surely fall apart.
My mind wandered over the information that had just been presented to me.
"The...the Volturi?" Victoria sputtered, obviously confused."Just...tell me how to get there." I sputtered, feeling ridiculous. I didn't know what I wanted at this moment, but I would figure it out when I got there.Lamb.
"Yes." I replied coldly, biting back a sarcastic comment.
"What precisely do you want to know?" She asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.
"I..." What exactly did I want? Information? Directions? Conversation material?
The confused look on her face was slowly replaced by a smug one. Her lips curled into a cold, arrogant grin.
"And here I was thinking that you were Little Miss Innocent." Her eyes appraised me. "How disappointed the Cullen's would be if they knew their dear, sweet little pet human wants to join those they hate the most." She sniggered, and I growled. "Not such a lost little lamb after all, are you?"
That one word struck a chord with me. Lamb.
The red haze clouded my vision once again, and I was so consumed by rage that I was unable to control the rabid snarl that escaped my throat. The pressure my foot was exerting on her throat increased and I heard a small gurgle emerge from her lips.
Getting the required information from her from that point was quick and simple. I now had a destination. A means to an end. Thank God. This would all be over soon. I wasn't sure how long I watched the fire consume the small circle, but I wished that the roles were reversed, and I was the one being eradicated.
"Tell me." I commanded, lifting the pressure on my foot ever so slightly. "And I'll end this quickly."
I was startled by a loud choking sound, and I quickly looked around, instantly on guard. I brought a hand up to my face to remove a piece of hair from my eyes, and was shocked to see that it was shaking violently. I gasped, and realized that the sound was coming from me.
Loud, ripping sobs were coming from my chest as I shook with great force. I sunk to my knees, letting the reality of what had just happened sink in. In the past few months I had created major offences to my heart. Crimes, from which there was no parole.
The first of which, I had completely isolated myself from my family and friends, and for that matter, the rest of the world.
Secondly, I had told the love of my life that I not only did not want him anymore, but had told him that I didn't want him. This thought brought a searing pain in my chest. I loved him more then I thought possible. From my limited memories as a human, I remembered that the love I possessed for him was not minimal; I doubted that many loved someone as much as I loved him. I was stupid and arrogant believing that my love—our love--was superior to the rest.
The third and possibly worst of my crimes was that I had just killed—in the loosest sense of the term—a living being. True, she might have been a bloodsucking, she-demon from which there was no escape, but none the less I had taken her life.
I was no better then she.
Sobs wracked through my body, not allowing me to stand. My eyes were filled with tears which would never flow from my hideous crimson eyes. It was frustrating, in the least to not have that ability. I couldn't remember if I had cried a lot as a human, but I was certain that if I was allowed that one form of release, I would feel better in a slight way. Instead, I was only reminded of what a monster I was by my own incapability.
This...being that I was now, was not Bella. I had been inhabited by something else. Something dark and sinister. Something worthy of a true vampire story. Bella Swan had died when Victoria—hiss—had attacked her. Bella was soft, and warm, everything I was not. Bella was human, and breakable. I couldn't even cry.
Bella did not possess the ability to kill; she did not have the thirst for revenge.
I however did.
Bella, could not leave her family, could not tell him that she no longer desired his presence, his intoxicating smell. His stupid, dazzling crooked smile, even if he no longer loved her.
One thing was clear, the old Bella was gone. Buried. Dead. Perhaps the flames had done more then eradicate—snarl—Victoria. Maybe they had served as a cleansing ritual, a symbolic way of shoving old Bella out of the way, and into the dredges of her own mind.
Those damn archetypal flames were the end of Bella Swan. The beginning of a new era.
The only question now was...who was she?
At the present moment, that did not matter. The young vampire had one destination, one objective now.
Volterra, Italy.
A/N: Ok, soooooooo out with the cannon Bella in with the new badass!Bella. Not what I sat down to write, it still came out a filler chapter—for that I'm sorry, had to be done—but now, I'm going in a new direction...slightly...-ish. I don't know.
Alright, I KNOW you guys are like "wtfmatewhatswithBellaIdontlikeit." Just...give her a chance. I don't want to reveal anything by saying this...but "Old Bella" isn't gone for ever...-ahem-...or maybe she is...MUAHAHAHAHA!...-cough-. God, I am so sneaky, its almost creepy.
I don't have anything particularly witty to say for a review.
...Sorry.
OH! Wait! Yes I do!
...ok, no I don't. I lied.
Just review damnit.
PWEASE? –insert obnoxiously cute puppy dog eyes here-
