I don't bother putting clothes on as I walk over to the door to open it and curse at whoever is knocking so loudly this early in the morning. The second the door is open I am all but trampled by my prep team, all three of them are loudly chattering as they surround me, unphased by my nudity.
"What the hell?" Katniss sleepily mumbles from the bed as she sits up, the sheets falling to her waist and revealing her bare torso.
Everyone on my prep team lets out a squeal, attracting Katniss' prep team from the other room where they were presumably searching for her. When they arrive they take in the scene and also squeal, excited to have the rumors confirmed. What follows is a few solid minutes of squealing and fawning and questions and being told what an adorable couple we are and how romantic this whole thing is. I am still shocked at how anyone can find the situation we are in romantic and I wish they would all just shut up and go away. Instead Katniss is dragged to her own room and I am left at the mercy of my prep team, who immediately start working on everything from my hair to my nails. By late afternoon they are finished and Portia walks in with my dress, giving me a break from their constant babbling.
The dress is strapless and short, so short I am happy Effie's presentation lessons covered short dresses otherwise the Capitol would be getting an eyeful. It is a deep black color but it shimmers with an orange glow when it moves around, giving the effect of smoldering coal. My dark brown hair hangs loosely at my shoulders, with the red streaks that Portia added earlier having been redone to look brighter than ever. Portia has me walk around and practice sitting to get used to my dress and heels, then we walk over to meet everyone else by the elevator.
Katniss is already there, wearing a dress made of the same material as mine. Her dress seems much more elegant, a gown that reaches down past her ankles and is held up with one thin strap at her left shoulder. Her black hair falls down her back in a simple braid. One look at the two of us makes it very clear who they are trying to cast as the seductress. We make our way down to stand in line with the other tributes waiting to get on stage. Katniss grabs my hand and interlaces our fingers before we walk onto the stage and as we sit down with joined hands swinging in the space between our chairs I can see the image projected onto large screens for the audience.
The interviews for the other tributes seem to fly by as Katniss and I sit and wait our turn, never once letting our hands part even though they are starting to get sweaty from our combined nerves. When it is finally time for Katniss to go up my heart is racing in my chest. Caesar is very nice, complimenting her dress and talking with her about our outfits for the opening ceremony and then about Prim. I notice she is looking at Cinna as she talks, and am glad to see that she seems much more natural than she did at practice yesterday. Finally Caesar brings up the topic everyone is waiting for.
"Katniss, I must ask, what is the story behind you and fellow tribute Johanna Mason? There have been some rumours floating around since the opening ceremonies and with you two holding hands out here...well we are all very curious."
"Johanna and I met a little before the reaping and were immediately drawn to each other. We kept our relationship a secret and when we were both reaped our instinct was to try to distance ourselves. However we quickly realized we just couldn't stay away from each other and we decided to take advantage of the time we had left."
The buzzer goes off before Caesar can reply and the crowd's applause for Katniss lasts until I am getting up to shake his hand.
Caesar greets me and I am impressed that he has the restraint not to jump straight into talking about my relationship with Katniss. He asks me about Carter and about how I am liking the Capitol. We joke back and forth and get a few laughs out of the crowd before Caesar brings up the Katniss.
"Johanna we had Katniss admit to the relationship you two have. We have never seen anything like this in any of the games. Are you at all worried about how that will affect your performance in the arena? Won't it be distracting?"
I am a little thrown by this question - we had been expecting questions about how we felt about each other but did not think they would ask bluntly about how this would reflect in the arena. Even Haymitch had been sure that it was too morbid a topic for Caesar to bring up but here it was. I take a deep breath and decide to be honest.
"I am not worried about my performance Caesar, because I know I have something worth fighting for in the arena that is bigger than me. I will be fighting for Katniss and there is nothing that will distract me from making sure the girl I love gets out of that arena alive."
The crowd lets out a collective sigh at this and Caesar jumps in to reply, "Wow folks, I believe this is the first time in the history of the games that one of the tributes has professed a desire to ensure someone else's victory. Johanna I think I speak for everyone in Panem when I say our hearts go out to you."
The crowd is going absolutely wild as I walk away from Caesar to where the other tributes are standing. Katniss does not grab my hand as the anthem plays, she is still shocked by my admission that I would be trying to get her out alive. The screens all show us standing side by side and the space between seems vast compared to earlier in the night when it was bridged by our joined hands.
Katniss does not say a word as we make our way back to the 12th floor, no one does. When we eat dinner the topic of the interview is avoided, instead Haymitch gives us last minute advice. He reminds us not to let ourselves be tempted by the cornucopia, to get away from everyone and find water. He also cautions us against trying to get to each other instead of running to safety.
"People know you're allies at this point. The Gamemakers will probably not put the two of you next to each other - it would be a mistake to try running towards each other, it's exactly the sort of irrational behavior the other tributes will be looking to take advantage of. Get yourselves to safety separately, you can find each other after you're both safe."
After that we watch the replay in silence, Haymitch makes a face at my admission to Caesar. Finally it is over and we are exchanging short farewells with Haymitch and Effie before being sent to bed. I walk straight towards my room and Katniss is at my heels. She closes the door behind her then turns to look at me, obviously eager to talk about the events of the interview. I have no idea what is going through her head and I decide that I might as well try to explain myself.
"Look, Katniss…"
"Don't. Please just give me a minute."
She walks over to my bed and sits down at the edge, still looking unsure about what to say. I know I threw everyone for a loop with my confession - it's one thing to play tragic lovers cast into the game, but to actually admit to loving her so much that I would sacrifice myself...well that is just insane. I'm sure Haymitch didn't complain because it only supported the image he was trying to have us project and maybe because he also felt bad for me - there was nothing he could do at this point anyway. I think about my family who must have been watching at home and wonder what my mom and Carter are feeling right now. Do they know that Katniss was lying about the secret relationship in District 12? Are they upset with me for having given up on my own survival? Before I can think too much about it Katniss speaks.
"Did you mean what you said to Caesar?"
She looks over to where I am standing in the middle of the room. I could tell her that it was all just part of the plan but that would be a lie and she would know it. Anyway it will be easier to keep her alive if she knows that is the ultimate goal. I walk over to sit next to her as I decide I might as well be completely upfront.
"I will get you out of there alive Katniss. I will die content knowing that you will live and that my family will be taken care of."
"Johanna…" Her voice breaks and I'm not sure if she even planned on saying anything other than my name, but I jump in.
"Please don't feel bad about this. As painful as it is, we have known that only one of us would be able to make it out alive. Now we know which one of us that is. I love you and I cannot bear the thought of you dying, let alone me being the one to kill you. Never in a million years could I lay a hand on you."
Katniss' eyes flash with anger and she pushes away the hand I had placed on her knee as I spoke. She turns away from me as she speaks. "And you think that I could?! You think that I could be the one to shoot an arrow through your heart? Or that it will be easy for me to stand by and watch you die by someone else's hand?"
I scoot closer to her and wrap my arms around her from behind, she stiffens but does not push me away. I rest my chin on her shoulder as I speak in a low voice into her ear, "Of course I don't think that Katniss. I'm being selfish - I don't want to live without you and I know you are strong enough to continue on once I'm gone. I would be useless to both our families if I was the one to live but I know that you would take care of them, you wouldn't let yourself give up."
"I'm not as strong as you think I am," she says as she turns in my arms to face me.
"You're probably stronger," I reply as kiss her on the tip of her nose. "Now can we please stop talking about this? This is not how I want to spend my last night before the games."
I am grateful that she listens, probably because she knows that nothing will come of talking about this. She pulls me to my feet and begins to slowly undress me, starting with my heels and stopping only when I am standing naked in front of her. I take my time doing the same to her, even undoing her braid to let her hair fall around her shoulders. When we are both standing bare we step closer to each other and she kisses me with such tenderness that my heart melts. Our bodies are not touching except one of her hands ghosting along my jaw and our lips that are tentatively sliding against one another. When our tongues meet it is a slow and gentle dance, neither of us battling for dominance but rather just enjoying the taste of the other person.
I pull away from the kiss to trail open-mouthed kisses along her jaw line, tasting the tang of her sweat mixed with the oddly sweet flavor of the Capitol make-up. Katniss walks backwards until she hits the bed, falling onto it and pulling me down on top of her. I settle myself between her legs and our breasts press into each other as we kiss. Her legs wrap around me and I let out a moan as our clits rub against each other. I rock against her in a steady rhythm, letting the friction between us bring both of us closer to release.
I use one of my hands to hold myself steady over her while the other gently massages her breasts. Katniss also has one hand on my breasts, softly tweaking and pinching my nipples. Her other hand is tangled in my hair, keeping me impossibly close as we kiss. She gently rolls us over so that she is in top, thrusting into me as she starts to lavish my neck with kisses. When I feel myself about to climax I pull her towards me for a heated kiss, our tongues gliding against each other as we both come, moaning into each other's mouths.
She continues rocking against me for a few moments after we orgasm and then collapses on top of me, peppering my neck with small kisses. For the next few hours we continue with our tender but passionate lovemaking, knowing that this is the last time we will ever get the chance. As we catch our breath between rounds we talk about everything from our childhood friends to our favorite colors. Neither of us are able to sleep nor do we want to. We take advantage of every last minute we have with each other. By dawn we are both drenched in sweat and the scent of sex permeates the room. Katniss and I lay with our limbs entangled, alternating between exchanging whispered words and fleeting kisses.
The love scenes are definitely not my strong suit but I am trying to work on it (I started another fic expressly for that purpose). Any and all feedback is appreciated.
