Once again, I am so appreciative of everyone who reviewed, and I hope that you enjoyed your Alice POV. There was a small tidbit in there that was VERY IMPORTANT!! So, if you want to know why she was so angry with Edward last chapter, all if you have to do is send me a review for Chapter Seven!!

Alright, well prepare for Emoward, I really don't have Emo music in my library, so I am making this week's song Ocean of Noise by Arcade Fire. I think it is a little haunting yet beautiful. I would love to know what you think.

What else, what else...hmm....oh, yeah, I do not own Twilight.


When I reach the Alaska state line, I finally stop, her words repeating constantly in my thoughts.

It may not be set in stone right now, but, trust me, it will be.

I'll make sure of it.



I wander around the Alaskan wilderness for hours, not actively seeking any particular destination.

There is no one around, and I have the rare opportunity to be alone in my head. That is something I have learned to not take for granted.

Most days, it can be hard for me to distinguish my thoughts from the those of the people around me, difficult to separate myself from the crowd.

It can be quite frustrating, to say the least. I know of one mind that would grant me peace while we were together, but she is far away from me now.

I know running away is not the answer. It's weak and pathetic, but what else am I supposed to do?

Carlisle believes that I should have been unable to control myself, and I should have murdered Bella Swan. He's proud that I didn't, of course, but still, he would have understood.

And, Alice, well she was blocking her mind from me before the last vision, the one with the…headstone, so I am not sure what she saw. I know she is disappointed that her vision changed, but, if Bella's death is what comes from my leaving, then I did the right thing.

Not that I want her to die; I don't want that at all. The thought of it makes me want to die, to step into the fire, to let myself burn completely.

It is just the natural order of things. It is life and death, and I am not the one who gets to decide the outcome.

So, obviously, if she is my Singer, her destiny is to die by my hands, as dramatic as that sounds, but since I am no longer a murderer, fate had to step in.

Cruel, sadistic fate.

I can't help the sigh that escapes my lips. When I breathe in, I pick up the scent of a Grizzly Bear about two hundred yards Northeast, but, unlike the Mountain Lion earlier, I don't even have the slightest urge to go after this beast.

I know I was different today after meeting her; my siblings noticed it as well. I laughed and joked. I felt happiness.

I also felt what I am now only beginning to understand is desire.

Desire…what a strange feeling.

I have lived now for one hundred long years, and I have never felt its wanting pull before.

I have craved blood, destruction, war, inner peace and contentment.

I have wanted cars, music, quiet and alone time.

I have needed to hunt, to run and to kill.

Yet, I have never desired love before recently, and I am not ignorant enough to presume I will find love, well, until her.

Bella Swan.

I don't love her, though. I don't even know her, except that she is the most unselfish creature I have ever met, she has a tinkering laugh, a beautiful blush, deep and expressive eyes, a lovely face…

NO! I don't love her; I can't! It is just an infatuation. It has to be!

I growl, frustrated with my thoughts and stupid emotions.

It really doesn't even matter what I feel!

I don't deserve her, but I don't want to stay away.

That is why I must.

Shit. I am confusing even to myself.

I start running again, pushing my body as fast as it can go, needing to be far away from my own mind.

I can get away from others, but I will never be able to escape myself.

Before I even realize where I am, I am lunging at the Grizzly, slicing its throat, feeding my guilt with its blood.

I drain it, and bury its body under the snow. I am unnaturally full, and I can feel the blood warming me, sloshing inside me with every step I take.

It does nothing to ease my mind.

Every thought, every action, every need, want and desire is because of her. I have known her for less than a day, a mere blip on the radar of my life, but she has changed me, irrevocably.

I reach out for something, anything, whatever is near, and I find a large Spruce. I rip it from the earth, from the only home it has ever known, hurling it into its brothers and sisters of the forest.

It doesn't help.

I put my hands in my hair, tugging as harshly as I can, needing to feel pain on my unpenetrable body.

A loud guttural growl rises from my chest, vibrating my throat and lips with its force. I crouch into a defensive position, clawing my hands, and I have never felt more like an animal, more out of control.

Snarling through gritted teeth, my breath heavy, I stand, lifting my arms toward the sky, gripping my hands into tight fists.

I shout out in aggravation, unburdening myself through the feral noises coming from my mouth.

It feels cathartic, so I continue, snarling, yelling, existing.

I don't know how long I stand in the forest, screaming, purging my emotions onto the deaf ears of the trees surrounding me. At some point I fall to my knees, soaking my pants in the snow.

None of it matters.

My phone rings, breaking me out of my vocal trance. I stand and lower my arms to my side, not releasing my fists.

I continue to growl as I try to get my body under control. My shoulders heave, shaking with each breath, each unneeded pull of oxygen.

I let myself fall backwards, burying myself under the snow.

My phone continues to ring. I ignore it as it beeps, letting me know I have a message.

It can wait.

I am finally calm again, silent, lost under the white powder.

Bella Swan what have you done to me?

Everything I have known about myself she has uprooted. She has ripped me out of the normalcy of my mundane existence as easily as I tore the Spruce from the ground before.

I don't know if I can go back, back to not feeling, not caring.

I don't think I want to anyway.

Edward?

I stop breathing and moving, ignoring her, hoping she will just go away. I will myself to become completely invisible under the snow.

Alice called, and she said that I would be able to find you here. Your future is distressing her. She sounded very upset. What's going on?

I don't move, remaining silent.

I am not going to leave until I know you are okay. I can smell you, Edward. I know you're here. Just tell me what's wrong.

I know how stubborn she is; she won't leave, ever. I might as well get this over with.

"Nothing," I mumble from under the snow, "don't worry about it."

I can feel the pressure from her body above me, and I can hear the snow being swept away.

I keep my eyes tightly closed as I am unwillingly brought to surface and the sun lightens the inside of my dark lids.

"Edward!" she gushes, hovering over my body, trapping me underneath her.

I turn my head to the side, forcing my eyes open, refusing to look at her.

"Hello, Tanya."

She moves to the side, putting out her hand, offering me assistance.

I don't want it, but I take it anyway, letting her pull me to my feet.

"Oh," she gasps, "your clothes are completely soaked."

I don't feel it.

She wipes at the snow clinging to my body; it won't melt on my cold skin. "Come back to the house with me," she pleads, "Eleazar will have some clean, dry clothes you can put on."

I nod, shaking my hand loose from her grasp.

She gives me a small, disappointed, thinking of our clasped hands. I put mine in my pockets.

Sighing, she turns back toward her home, and I follow behind her as she runs.

Edward looks kind of depressed. I hope he's okay. Mmmm…I love the way the wet shirt is clinging to his chest.

I zone out at her last thought, trying my best to not hear anymore. Tanya's thoughts often turn vulgar when I am concerned, and I have learned over the years to just ignore her silent musings.

We reach the house in Denali, and I follow her inside. It is surprisingly silent.

"Where is everyone else?" I question.

She stops, turning to look at me, "oh," she laughs, "they went hunting. I decided not to go, so," she pauses, "how about we get you some fresh clothes, hmm? Would you like to take a shower?"

"Sure," I answer nonchalantly.

I guess a shower would be nice. The cold, damp clothes do not affect my body, but the hot stream of water will help relax my muscles.

She leads the way, hovering in the bathroom until I have to actually ask her to leave.

I take off my wet clothes, placing them into the sink, and move under the spray. As it warms my body slightly, my mind drifts to Bella. I cannot help but to picture what it would be like if she, her small body pink and bare, was here with me in the shower.

I would run my hands up her arms, caressing her skin, and pull her flush against my body, cherishing every curve she has to offer me.

I would turn her around to face me…

NO! I can't think like this. What is wrong with me?

I have never felt this need, this sexual attraction before. Don't get me wrong, I have been aroused before; physically, I am a teenage male. It's just that, I never felt the urge to act on it.

Cursing my traitorous mind and body, I turn off the water, willing my erection to go away.

No such luck.

"Seriously?" I say, looking down, thinking of anything else…Sally, Frank Sinatra, baseball, Cats.

Nothing is working!

Stepping out of the shower and onto the bath mat, I reach for a towel, and come up empty.

"Umm…Tanya?" I call out.

The door swings open, and I am too shocked to do anything but stand there, exposed and vulnerable.

"Did you need something," she purrs, glancing down. She looks back up, her eyes grow wide, locking them on mine. "It looks like you need some help, Edward," she says, licking her lips.

Her mind is buzzing with images and feelings of passion and desire, alive and vibrant with color.

She wants me, and she thinks that I want her.

I want brown hair, brown eyes, full pink lips and a beating heart. Oh, how I want those things, but I refuse to have it.

I won't.

Maybe Emmett was right, and I am just sexually repressed.

I could get out some of my frustration with Tanya, and then I might be over Bella completely. At the very least, I could control myself when I am around her.

Tanya is very beautiful, rivaling Rosalie, and it would be easy to give in, to give it up.

I take a step closer, not hiding my nakedness.

"Tanya," is all I say. Apparently, it is all I need to say.

She quickly takes her top off, closing the gap between us, intertwining our bodies.

I lower my mouth to hers, slowly, giving myself the final push over the edge.

Our lips touch, lightly at first, and then my desire from before kicks in. I need more, more touching, more kissing, just more.

I crush our lips together, forcefully. Her tongue trails around my closed mouth, so I open it, granting her full access.

We fight for dominance with our tongues, neither ceasing control of the kiss. She moans, and I break away, moving my lips down her neck, licking her clavicle.

Oh, Edward, I have wanted you like this for so long. We will be great together. I always knew we would. Please make love to me!

I pull back, and open my mouth to speak.


Don't hate me!! So, what do you think? Do I want to know? Well, yikes, tell me anyway. I want to know. I promise to answer any questions. Umm...yeah, so I guess Edward is slightly OOC. It happens.

Also, a review will get you a certain phone call between Alice and Tanya. Interested?? REVIEW....feed my addiction.