Evie's TARDIS Diary: Seven Wives
Age: 16
Location: London, England, Earth
Date: February 1538
After complaining I was bored, the Doctor finally agreed to take Mum and me on an adventure. He was reluctant because he'd just started working on the wiring underneath the TARDIS console, for about the twelfth time that I can remember.
Mum got to choose and she decided she wanted to visit Medieval Britain; specifically Tudor times. The Doctor was unwilling at first. Apparently something had happened between him and Queen Elizabeth… something that meant he couldn't face going back. But Mum persuaded him to take us there anyway.
We landed in the middle of what seemed to be a busy market. Stalls lined the street selling all sorts of things from food to clothes to strange items I'd never seen before. Mum started gushing, as she always did when she was faced with historical artefacts.
"I'm gonna go and check out that bakers stall." I told Mum and the Doctor, following my nose towards the scent of freshly baked bread. I can never resist it; there's nothing like that smell to make my stomach rumble.
"Alright, sweetie." Mum called back distractedly, examining a strangely shaped lump of stone carefully.
"Don't wander off!" The Doctor commanded, before Mum grabbed his hand and pulled him along to the next stall.
Sighing, I made my way over to the bakers stall and smiled sweetly, hoping he'd give me a free sample. Sadly, he seemed to be far too used to people trying things like that and stared at me until I handed over one of the coins the Doctor had given me as we stepped out of the TARDIS. Smiling now, the man handed me a loaf of bread and I wandered away, ripping chunks off and eating it happily.
I was too busy looking around me to notice that Mum and the Doctor had gone. When I did realise that I was standing completely on my own in the middle of a Tudor market street, I was more annoyed than anything else. It's always the same when Mum and the older version of the Doctor take me anywhere. They wander off and leave me behind to look after myself.
Following my instincts, I tracked them down to a huge garden. It was behind a pair of enormous, metal gates which I decided to go under, rather than attempt to climb over or walk through. Knowing my luck, the second I opened them I'd be surrounded by less than friendly guards which would be rather interesting –
"Evie!" River snapped, reading over her daughter's shoulder. "Oh, please?"
"What?" The girl answered innocently. "I saw you checking those guards out too!"
"OK, OK! I'm going out..." River said, with the air of someone who was just popping to the shops for a pint of milk, rather than breaking out of a top security prison cell. "I shouldn't be long."
Evie sighed and shook her head slightly before she returned her attention to her writing.
– but I couldn't be dealing with all the hassle. So, I squeezed myself underneath the gates and rolled out on the other side. Ahead I could see Mum and the Doctor talking to someone. Brushing the dust off my clothes, I approached, ready to give them a piece of my mind for leaving me alone.
"And who might this be?" A large, richly dressed man asked, looking me up and down as I approached. I gave him a look which I hope conveyed my feelings on being leered at by him.
Mum looked apprehensively at the Doctor, who spoke. "This is Evie."
"She's my daughter." Mum added quickly, putting a protective arm around my shoulders.
The fat man took my hand, pressing a kiss to it before pulling me, rather forcefully, along the gravel pathway and towards the large stone building. I sent Mum and the Doctor half pleading, half threatening looks as I was dragged along.
"Your highness…" The Doctor said, hurrying to catch us up. "We really must be going."
At his words, I glanced at the man who was still grasping my hand firmly and showing no sign that he was planning on releasing it.
"Nonsense!" The man roared, dismissing the Doctor with a wave of his free hand. "I am holding a banquet this evening and I wish you to attend; you, physician, your beautiful wife and your delightful daughter."
When we were alone in the rooms the man had arranged for us, I turned to Mum, feeling a mixture of confusion and alarm. "Who was that man?"
"That, my love, was Henry VIII." Mum told me, holding my hand tightly in hers and pressing it to her chest, directly above her heart. She looked worried. "And, if I'm not very much mistaken he is intending to add you to his list of wives."
I looked at her as though she was insane. "But… surely he HAS a wife?"
"No… not at the moment. It's 1538… Henry's last wife, Jane Seymour died last year and he doesn't marry Anne of Cleves until 1540. There's plenty of time to squeeze you in the middle." Mum said, shaking her head.
"Oh, great... Aren't you more his age?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah… he did try it on." Mum said, pulling a face. "But the Doctor told him I was his wife."
"I did wonder about that…" I admitted with a sigh. "Well… we need to get out of here then." It was a demand rather than a request.
"Deal. We'll grab the Doctor and go."
Mum got up and poked her head around the door, before signalling that it was safe to go out into the corridor. We walked quickly and quietly, looking for the Doctor. To our annoyance, he seemed to have vanished.
Finally we found him, questioning one of the important looking men about how he got the feather in his hat to defy gravity and stand bolt upright. Mum smiled at the man and grabbed the Doctor's hand, dragging him away. He spluttered complaints, obviously enjoying his conversation.
"We're getting out of here before my daughter ends up Queen." She hissed, glancing around anxiously, one hand tightly around my wrist as though she thought I was about to be wrenched away from her.
He pulled a face. "Ohh… but I was enjoying myself. And there's a banquet later… banquets are cool."
"We're leaving." Mum said firmly. She pulled us both along the corridor. As we passed a table, my hand shot out and closed around a pretty, apparently sculpted gold ornament. Mum raised an eyebrow. "Thief!"
"And what?" I replied cheekily, winking. "You gonna make me put it back?"
Mum considered me for a moment before smirking and shaking her head. "No… let's just get out of here, OK?"
We'd reached the front doors, thick wooden ones that were bolted securely shut. Rather than spending time trying to open them, the Doctor aimed the sonic screwdriver at the metalwork and the locks and bolts clicked open. He wrenched the heavy panels aside and we rushed through.
"Stop!" A husky voice called from behind them.
We didn't even look back over our shoulders; we just launched into a sprint, grabbing hold of each other's hands and heading towards the TARDIS. In minutes, tens of guards were after us. Apparently they'd seen me steal the ornament. Either that or Henry really didn't want us to leave.
We crashed into the police box split seconds before they caught up with us and I slammed the doors as Mum and the Doctor sent us spinning hurriedly into the Vortex.
"Well," the Doctor said taking several deep breaths, "I can't visit the reigns of Henry or Elizabeth now. Brilliant!"
A familiar whirring sound filled the cell and Evie glanced up from her position, sitting cross-legged on her beg with her back against the brick wall. The Doctor appeared through the doors of the TARDIS, soniced open the cell door and beckoned her towards him.
"Your mother thought we should come and check you weren't getting into mischief." He said with a grin. "Fancy a trip?"
The teenager leapt across the cell, leaving her diary on the bed, immediately forgotten at the promise of an adventure.
