She a strained smiled crossed her face, as she held back the waterfall of tears that was about to fall from her eyes. "This should cover it," she whispered barely able to get the words out, "just keep the change." She quickly turned on her heel and raced down the hall frantically looking for a place to hide. The path in front of her became blurred by a coat of bittersweet tears.
"Ellen," a voice called after her, but she ignored them as she slipped into the on call room the darkness soothing her fiery emotions. Pacing she could feel her chest go tight, she couldn't breathe..... She heard someone enter the darkness behind her locking the door with a quiet click behind them. They sat her down on the bed and placed their hand softly on her shoulder waiting. She panted trying to form words, but successfully failed. She looked up at them, her face slightly blue from the lack of oxygen.
"You alright," they questioned softly, "because..."
"Yea," she mumbled.
The dim moonlight, light up his golden hair, admitignly she was slightly disappointed to find Andre the instead of Derek. But, this was who she was now.
"How was your date," he smiled.
"Great... Perfect Actually,"
"Then what's the problem?"
She looked at him... she had been harbouring this secret way to long, she had to tell someone ... anyone. Gazing into his deep hazel eyes she felt guilty how she could place such a burden on him. He looked at her hopefully as if he wanted to fix whatever problem she had.
"I need to tell you something....." she began; he looked at her puzzled at her unusual statement.
"Okay, go for it... I'm here."
"Not, here" she sighed tracing small circles on the white sheets with her finger tips.
"Okay, then," he laughed in an attempt to ease the tension, "What are you some kind of criminal or something?"
If only he knew what he was about to get himself into.
****************************
She sat in the middle of the dark apartment, the room alight only by a small yellow light omitting from the corner. He brought her a glass of white wine and sat adjacent to her in an oversized pale leather armchair. She fixed her gaze on the Spokane skyline, alive with miniature cars buzzing between the streets like fruit flies over a decaying apple. His eyes burned into her hungry for the knowledge she had dangled above him earlier that evening.
"So..." he spoke pulling his fingers though his golden hair, she could never decided weather she like the way he spiked his poker straight blonde locks into a miniature forest of gold trees on his head. Either was she thought the look suited him. They sat in silence both gazing out the window memorised by the quick movement of light across the city streets. She didn't want to break his perception of her, but she knew now she was obligated to, maybe she couldn't tell Derek, but Andre, Andre was one of those men that deserved better, that deserved to know. "Ellen," he continued, "You said...."
"I know," she cut him off, "I just need a moment....."
She took one last gaze at the city skyline, the perfection the purity of her life in this city would be destroyed in the matter of 3 words, when she said them she had to be ready. She took a long look at him, remembering the moment they shared a week ago. He returned her gaze, and she knew it was now or never.
"I'm Meredith Grey," she began, "the girl they where looking for on the news, the one that went missing months ago... I'm her. And, that man at the hospital the perfect one, the "superhero", the one who took me out tonight, that was her boyfriend. According to him, she no longer exists, she gone.... forever, and he can never know. The reason why I knew the Sheppard-Grey method was because I helped create it. And why I'm telling you this is beyond me...."
"You have to be kidding me,"
She shook her head, her throat grew tense as if she wanted to cry but her eyes where dry, she has cried far too many times tonight. He slipped beside her wrapping her in his arms, and she obediently placed her head on his shoulder. "I haven't slept since I got here... I just always figure I'll wake up, and they will be there waiting to drag me back to Seattle back too..." They sat quietly in the dim light her word trailing off into empty space.
"Why?" he finally asked, she shot him a look that read don't go there, "Come on... I'm not only promising not to reveal you secret superhero surgeon identity to the world, but I also paid for your lunch yesterday."
A smile crept across her face; she couldn't help it despite the grim topic of conversation she couldn't help but laugh. "As stupid as it sounds," She sighed to herself, "I broke him. Like Andre, I'm complicated... well obviously but before he was just so happy, he was Derek... and with me. I forced him to do the clinical trial, and I was never there, and he lost so many patients..... I broke the man, and he would never let go of me, when probably it would've been the best thing for him... It was complicated."
"I can do complicated," the blonde smiled stroking his fingers along her jaw line. She felt indescribable, here she was probably the most screwed up woman in the world and here he loved every minute of her presence. He leaned in closer and she could feel his lips brush lightly against hers; she wrapped her arms around his neck as the kiss intensified. Her mind flashed back to the field of candles to Derek standing there the bottle of champagne tightly clenched in his hand. Frantically she pushed him away and sprang to her feet.
"I'm sorry it's just...."
"You don't know if you are Ellen or Meredith... am I right?" he sighed.
"Yea... how did you know?"
"There is more to me then you think," he smiled rising to his feet to meet her, "I'm not just this awesomely pretty face."
"Is there now," she laughed taking note to the way he placed his hands on her hips.
"How about, you crash in my room tonight... and I'll take the couch and keep guard making sure the fuzz don't come after you."
"You don't have to do that..."
"I do," he smiled, "Clean blankets are on the third shelf of the closet just to the left."
"Okay," she agreed like a child her voice soft and sweet, "Goodnight."
"Night"
She slipped into the bedroom floating on air, he was... amazing. As she slipped under the covers her mind began to wander... why didn't he freak out, call the cops. She had heard on the radio that a great sum of money had been offered for any information about the case. But most importantly she pondered over his own words, there is more to me then you think.....
******************************
She awoke the next morning to the sweet smell of coffee dancing through the room, as well as the warmth omitted from the Washington sunlight. The morning radio played softly in the background, and drew her from bed and into the kitchen.
"I always knew you where a country boy," she laughed as she admired him dancing to Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash.
"Grew up on a ranch in rural Montana," he smiled,"It's in my blood."
"Uh-Huh," she chuckled positioning herself on the barstool adjacent to where he was cutting a variety of peppers, she popped one in her mouth in a flirty matter as she rested her head on the island. "You working today?"
"Wasn't planning on it, but I guess a 12 year old kid was admitted last night... called in some big shot peds surgeon to consult and is convinced all the fellows need a tune up. He's been this way ever since we out ranked Seattle Grace in Washington... wants to keep it that way." The name gave her shivers; he looked up at her unsure of what set her off. "Oh, I'm sorry Ellen... I didn't"
"It's fine," she sighed, "just a bit ... well lost."
"Hmm," he said thoughtfully, "You need to get away." He spontaneously walked over to the fridge and ripped a tiny card from it's home on the fridge door. "Ah, here we go... best burgers in Washington, guaranteed."
She held the tiny card in her fingers, it read:
Royal Joes
Best Burgers in town, Open 9:00am-10: pm Monday through Saturdays. Sundays open 8:00am-3:30pm.
Thompson, WA.
"You kidding me," she exclaimed, "You want me to drive two and half hours for a hamburger?"
"Okay, woman... do not insult the hamburgers, and no I want you to drive two and half hours to get away. There are some nice hiking paths down there, lots of scenery it's not far off of the mountains, as well the people are amazing."
"Seriously?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
An insistent beeping brought the two from their world into reality's. She looked up at him his face disappointed by his page. He looked up at her, and shrugged they both knew there was nothing they could do.
"Go," she insisted, "I'm going out for burgers anyways."
"Seriously, you'll love them."
"Goodbye,"
"Bye Elle"
With that he was gone, she glanced down at the tiny manila card, and she really could use a get away. She reached for her jacket on the back of couch and took one glance around the apartment. It resembled hers a lot, the pile of week old bills on the coffee table and the lack of housekeeping, but the view. She had looked for weeks for a view like this and had only drew one conclusion, you either have to inherit a place like this or have money coming out of the ying-yang. She took a long gaze out of the window, and noticed two cop cars stopping Andre as he left the building, she knew she shouldn't be paranoid but something inside her told her to run. She quickly grabbed her keys off of the coffee table and raced out of the building.
"M'am," the younger of the two officers questioned. He was noticeably Hispanic and carried with him and all too familiar photo. "Do you know of, or have seen this woman?"
"No," she responded sharply looking herself into the eyes. "I believe I don't... well other than on the news... that's um Meredith Grey isn't it?"
"Mhmm," the older cop smiled, "found the car right here in this complex, we think she may have escaped... may be alive and be too afraid to return home."
She looked around her, she knew last night the building had seemed too familiar, she panicked wondering if she had managed to slip in her newly purchased emerald contacts.
"Ma'm do you live here?" the older cop asked, his salt and pepper hair brought out by the afternoons suburban sunshine.
"No, I'm just a visitor, but I'm sorry I really am in a rush." With that she pushed through the two cops and into the black corvette she had purchased with her signing bonus with St. Lucas General. Racing onto the street she was shocked the two officers didn't pull her over for a ticket, but she assumed they where two preoccupied with their search, little did they know for about a minute and thirty-two seconds they had found her.
