A/N - Sorry for the extremely late update. I wanted to post yesterday but I had to go to the doctor and then I went to the Katy Perry: California Dreams Tour, which was insanely awesome and you should go to if you get the chance. :) I cranked out this chapter this morning. I will have another one for you tomorrow, promise. Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own. R&R.


After my little movie fiasco with Sam, she was avoiding me. I didn't see her but I knew there were times she had seen me and fled the scene. What was wrong with that crazy girl? I mean, she kissed me all the time, apparently had a small crush on Spencer and now she was mad at me because I told her what she was. She was a bitch, and she knew it—once she even told me that she was proud of it.

It didn't help anything that when Carly went on her little interview, she found a slimy eleven-year-old boy boy. Carly called both Sam and I over and started her rant about it. "Okay, when I got there, Nevel sat next to me, sniffed my hair, showed me an x-ray of his brain, tried to make me dance, and then he kissed me!"

Everything went silent and when I glanced at Sam she wasn't even paying attention. I looked back at Carly. It had only been at least a second since she stopped talking but it felt about two or three minutes. "Woah, he kissed you?" Sam's head perked up. "That jerk! Come show my lips exactly what he did!"

"Yeah, I don't think so." Carly giggled.

Sam was looking at me now, a giant smirk on her face. She patted my back and said, "You just keep making out with your stuff animals, Benson!"

Sam seemed fine after that. I could sense she was still mad but at least she was laughing and joking with Carly, and beating on me as usual. I liked Carly, but I usually wouldn't say something that would get me so blatantly rejected—I did it for Sam because even in all her twisted ways, she was still my friend, though she'd never admit it. And I had known she'd laughed about it.

Sam even ventured to sit next to me on the couch. She didn't say anything and made sure our knees didn't even touch, but she wasn't trying to keep a ten-foot radius from me anymore. I was sure if that would be a good thing or bad thing in the long run but before I could figure it out, Carly said, "And Nevel said I would rue the day… What does rue mean?"

"It means to regret." I blurted near instantly. My mom did this stupid word-a-day game where if I used the word twice throughout the day, she'd give me an apple. I stopped doing it years ago but not before I learned a plethora of words.

"Dork." Sam hissed

"Thing." I returned, and she turned to glare at me.

"Guys…" Carly said, diverting our attention back to her. "What do you think Nevel meant?" It dawned on all of us almost immediately.

I was the first off the couch with Carly and Sam following. I typed in the web site address and the screen that popped up showed an article—the headline read: iCarly: Worst Webshow on the Internet.

"A web cast that not only makes stupid jokes, but makes you stupid by just watching it. Their silly sketches are mediocre at best, and the camera work is rather sub par. The worst part has to be the show's hosts. At first glance, we have two pretty girls who are the pinnacle of web comedy. Upon further inspection, I find them shallow and unfunny. Neither girl is particularly good-looking either. Carly is the worst of the two, of course, because of the fact that she is an uninteresting, one-dimensional girl who deserves to have a bag put over her head and duct tape over her mouth." I read slowly and with a grimace on my face.

"Is there any more?" Carly asked tentatively.

"Yeah, but its all about your hair and how it is a 'disgusting rat's nest that smells like it hasn't been washed in weeks.'" I looked at Carly sadly.

Sam was seething about it all. "That… that… little… NUB!" She shrieked, her face red. "I could just KILL him! How dare he give us a bad review because you wouldn't suck face with him!"

Just then the front door burst open. I turned slowly—it was my mom. At the same time Spencer came from upstairs and whatever he had been doing. "I came because I heard screaming. Freddie, are you alright?" She blurted and I saw Sam snicker. Was she spying on me or something?

"Yeah, mom." I answered.

Spencer looked us over. "He's fine." The older man reported.

"You know he's allergic to fruit?" My mom said. She had it in her mind that grapes, apples and watermelon were out to get me. I mean, she didn't let me have fruit juice until I was seven and she sat watching me the entire time I drank it to make sure I didn't have a reaction. I had sneeze half-way through and she freaked out. "Did you give him any fruit?"

"I'm not allergic to fruit, mom," I said, a finality in my voice urging her to leave. This could only get worse.

"Aw, who's got a fruit problem?"

Everything else just fell away for a moment. While everyone else stared at my mom arguing with Spencer about my allergies, Sam leaned forward and whispered in my ear. She didn't stop there, though. Her tongue then snaked out and flicked across my lobe causing me to stiffen as tingles filled my body. Sadly, as I glanced at Carly, almost guiltily, I wanted Sam to do it again…

Carly hadn't see Sam and I, though, as she turned away from my mom and Spencer. She just smirked at me and looked back at the computer screen. "We need to teach that boy a lesson."

"I'll get my butter sock." Sam said, standing and pulling off her shoe. I never once thought that she used her own sock to beat people. I figured maybe she stole a sock off a hobo or something. It was something she would do.

"Sam… we are not going to beat up the boy." Carly said, softly.

"In the third paragraph, he called you fat."

"Let's go beat up that boy!"

I just smiled and followed my girls out of the apartment, past my mother and Spencer who were still arguing, to do just that—beat up or argue with a first-rate nub.


We didn't beat up Nevel in the end. We told on him to his mom and she forced him to write a good review. I still couldn't believe that he would write a mean review just because he was mad at Carly. Well, I guess that's eleven-year-olds, for you.

After we got back, I didn't go home. Instead I went out on the fire escape while Carly and Sam when back to Carly's apartment. I swear, that nasty blond hangs out more at Carly's house than her own, but considering how she turned out, I wouldn't want to be at her house either.

I was looking down at the city with its cars the only moving dots in a sea of night. The small light that drifted out from the hallway didn't reach very far so there wasn't much for me to see, not that it matter though considering that I was thinking once again about a beautiful brunette and a spunky blond. Carly was nice but Sam made me feel like she and I were the only two people in the world. She was also moody and violent.

"God, why does this have to be so hard?" I thought aloud, gripping the railing.

"If you're going to jump, you should at least say goodbye first." I turned slowly to face Sam. I looked at her confused as she came out with me on the escape. "But I hope that you'll change your mind."

"Change my mind? Wouldn't you be grateful?" I asked, eyeing her suspiciously as she walked up to me. She looked up at me with her big blue eyes.

"What would make you think that, Frederly?" I was going to protest but her hand was on my chest suddenly. She tucked her face under my chin and sighed content, warm breath onto my skin. I didn't mean to shiver as her arms snaked around my waist, or when her hand reached up and caressed my face.

Next thing I knew, her lips were on my neck, my chin, my cheek and then my lips. She pressed her tongue, almost viciously, into my mouth and I felt my heart thump against my chest, and against her because she was so close. Her hands pressed lightly on the small of my back, tracing small patterns. My own hands gripped her ribs just below her breasts as I dipped my head to hers.

Every part of me was screaming. My brain was screaming to stop, that this was the demon I so despised while my heart cried that I loved Carly, not this beast. But I didn't stop because of how it felt to be with her. The few times Carly hugged me or gave me a peck on the cheek, it never felt the way it did when Sam did it. She was like a drug—intoxicating.

Sam pulled away finally and took my numb hand. She led me to the stairs and lowered me slowly down until I sat. She then joined me, tucking herself under my arm as if this was the most perfectly normal thing for her in the world. Then a strange thought struck me—What if I wasn't the only guy she did this with?

I felt myself flare with anger at the thought. Then another thought crossed my mind. I was kind of doing the same thing. Of course, I wasn't going around kissing Carly and leading her on because she didn't feel the same way towards me but she knew my feelings for her… and yet here I was, making out with my "enemy".

Silence fell for a few moments while our lips met again, our tongues fighting one another for dominance. Sam's teeth suddenly snapped shut on my lip and while it hurt, it also felt good. I let her win… whatever that meant exactly. She leaned back and I opened my eyes to find my eyes staring in hers. "I couldn't stay mad at you, Fredamame."

I didn't know what to say to that. So I said the first thing that popped into my head. "Sam, this has to stop. You don't even like me and I don't like you."

"But you like it." She corrected me, winking. "And you're right, Benson… I hate you." And if I didn't think this was just a game to her before… Her lips meet mine again, sultry and sweet. Then she was gone. When I opened my eyes, all I saw was a swatch of blond hair disappearing back inside.

I held my head for a few moments wondering vaguely if I had imagined it all. Though, a dull, throbbing ache in my bottom lip said otherwise. I went home finally, feeling as if I built a huge house of cards only to sneeze right before I could take the picture of the final product. And when I rolled into bed, it was hours before I finally could drift to sleep… and dream of her.


A/N - If you noticed I left out the whole butter sculpture thing, the Germy part, and the whole scene where they go to bust Nevel because there wasn't a whole lot there to begin with and it just wasn't essential to my story. This will happen increasingly more where I pick and chose what I want to write. :) Read and reveiw please!