SSJ4: I'm not dead! So quit spreading stupid rumors, numbnuts!
Terrence:…
SSJ4:…Right. Well, anyway, this chapter is going to have something no one expected. No one at all.
Terrence: I don't like the sound of this…
SSJ4: Mwahahahahahah!
Chapter VI: An Unlikely Task
Disclaimer: I own j00.
---------------------
Terrence walked through the sand to the bandit camp. He was pretty close, and getting closer. His heart rate was at 85 beats a minute, and he walked perfectly straight. Each step put 187 pounds of weight onto the ground…
"THEY GET IT!" yelled Terrence. "QUIT BEING SCIENTIFICAL!"
HEY! It was the only way to drag it out.
Terrence mumbled something that sounded like "bullshlocky" and kept walking.
Soon, he was right in front of the bandit camp. He looked into it. It was well guarded inside, but he figured he could make it. He walked…
Straight into an invisible wall.
"Ow!" Terrence exclaimed, rubbing his nose. "What the heck? I thought the shaman lifted the spell!"
He did.
"Then how come I can't get in?"
Because.
"Why?"
Because.
"Will you stop that?"
Hmph! Maybe now I won't tell you why!
"But I-"
PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…
Automated Message: We're sorry. The author is not currently available at this time. This may be because he is busy, or he deleted the story, or he is doing this for the sole purpose of annoying his character and the readers. For now, you may watch this random, stupid commercial.
The Internet turns back on. But, instead of Terrence, you can see a cardboard background of a farm. A hick with two teeth and overalls walks in. He looks crazed.
"HOWDY THERE, FOLKS!" he yells at the top of his lungs. "COME DOWN TO BOB'S BACON BARN! WHERE WE BAKE THE BACON FOR YOU!"
The screen switches to him with a pan over a stove, stomping a foot up and down with a LOT of exaggeration.
"YEEE-HAWW!" he screams.
The Internet turns off again.
Automated Message: We're sorry that you had to see that disturbing commercial. SSJ4 Enterprises is not responsible for any emotional scars caused by that message. We are currently experiencing technical difficulties.
Elevator music starts up.
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
Okay, that's boring now, isn't it?
Automated Message: We're sorry for forcing you to listen to that horribly boring music. Please Stand By.
A large screen with the words "PLEASE STAND BY" pops up.
Twelve hours later, it goes down.
Automated Message: We are pleased to inform you that our author has finally decided to continue the story. To read the story, press 1. To date me, the automated message, press 2.
You then push 1.
Automated Message: You have just pushed 1. I KNOW WHEN I'M NOT WANTED!
…
I walk out on the stage.
"Hey, everybody!" I say. "Sorry about that overly long and pointless intermission. And now, back to the story. What? We've run out of room? Uh…" I look out to see murderous stares from my readers. "Heheh…why do you have that staff out? And what's with the sword? Uh…I'M OUTTA HERE!" I run for my life.
New Automated Message: We're sorry. This chapter cannot be continued. We will bring you the full chapter on a later broadcast. Goodbye.
