Sometimes it's just best not to ask. . . This is one of those times. Nah, just kiddin'. . .I think. I'm sorry this chapter took so long to post. It is fairly long though, so I hope that will make up for the delay. I had a small case of writer's block plaguing me for several days. But once my inspiration found me again, I couldn't stop writing until I was completely done with the entire chapter. I apologize if it seems a little. . .unorthodoxed. My birthday (February 22) had also just taken place, so I took a few days off to relax and enjoy myself. You know, it's funny. . .I don't feel 17 at all. Maybe it just needs a little more time to kick in. . .yeah, that's it. . .







Part VIII: Julaine Blackbird







In my plastic heart forever for ART

what kind of lover am I?

I don't say I imply it

I'm the queen of quiet

what kind of lover am I?

Oooh, little rule breaker

how do I break so well?

Aaah, little rule breaker

if you break me

can you tell?

Erin McKeown ~ Queen of Quiet







When Adina opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was the glowing, burnt ember's that still crackled from the fire Cell had made last night. Almost immediately afterwards, before she could even have a chance to fully wake herself, the android's harshly smooth voice dripped into her ears like poison.

"Well good morning sunshine. It's about time you woke up."

Adina yawned lazily and rolled onto her back, ignoring the dirt that clung to her skin and hair. She let her eyes do the wandering as she searched for the android's location. He wasn't too far off, standing only about five or six feet away, glowering at her from under the ridges that were supposed to be his eyebrows.

Just to be spiteful, Adina continued to act sleepy and groggy; yawning a couple more times, stretching her arms and legs and torso for longer then was really necessary, scratching her belly in a very. . .unlady-like manner.

Cell's upper lip curled in disgust, and Adina couldn't keep herself from giggling at his reaction. Of course, that was a dead give away. It didn't take long for him to realize her little scheme. He wondered why she found it mandatory to irritate him every chance she got.

And then he reminded himself that he did the exact same thing to her, and what goes around, comes around.

I've always hated that saying. It should be reversed, if you ask me.

Adina was still chuckling as she curved her body into a sitting position before actually standing. She turned around in little circles as she slapped her hands against her clothing in attempt to dust herself off. It didn't help much, but it made things somewhat better.

Cell watched her intently as she went about her morning ritual, oblivious to everything around her, including himself. His eyes had seemed to glaze over slightly, as if he were in deep thought about something very, very important. Had Adina seen him gazing at her like that, she would have frozen in place immediately, and her muscles would tense up into that familiar feeling of uncertainty. Yet she continued to pay him no heed as she cracked her neck and back, something that always made the people around her cringe. The android couldn't have cared less, however, and so she went about her business without a second thought.

"Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

Well. . .THAT was certainly random.

Adina abruptly halted her activities, and turned to look at Cell with a peculiar expression.

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Yeah I know, but I would appreciate it if you would repeat that? Please?"

"Fine. Did you know that you talk in your sleep?"

"Yeah right, whatever Cell."

"You don't believe me?"

"No."

"So you're calling me a liar, then?"

". . .yes, I suppose I am."

"I may be many things, Adina, but a liar is not one of them."

"Please, spare me the 'bad guy/good guy' routine, ok?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Never mind."

"Are you always like this in the morning?"

"Don't gimme that, you started it!"

"How?"

"You know damn well how."

"Hey, I just thought you would like to know the truth."

"Thanks for the support, but I already know the truth, and the truth is I do NOT talk in my sleep. So there."

"Oh really? Then maybe you would be so kind as to tell me who Julaine is?"

Adina felt like every muscle, every bone, every tendon in her body had turned to stone. She tried desperately to remember how to move as her thoughts ran laps around her brain.

This doesn't make any sense.

How does he know? How COULD he know? Unless. . .

I guess he was telling the truth after all.

When no excuse came to her, Adina decided to shove out any words that would roll off her tongue.

It would be a miracle if she could even speak at all.

"I-I. . .I don't know what y-you're. . .talking about," she spat awkwardly.

Oh yeah, real smooth. That'll get him off you're back for sure.

Cell's trademark smirk was smeared across his lips. He knew he had trapped her in a position that left her only one way out. . .that was straight through him. Adina wished with all her might that she could wipe that arrogant, condescending grin off his face for good.

Yet another miracle in the making.

"Still think I'm a liar?"

She made no attempt to acknowledge him. Right now, she wanted to be as far away from him as possible. Her blood was boiling red hot, and her skin felt soggy and moist. She knew she was on the verge of melting down into a pitiful ball of nothing, and that always spelled trouble when she was around Cell.

I'll be damned if I let him take advantage of me while I'm vulnerable.

I can't believe he knows her name. . .

I can't believe I allowed myself to be so careless.

This just can't get any worse.

But of course it will, because that's just the way it goes, isn't it?

Cell frowned when he saw flashes of different emotions pass over Adina's features. Seeing her like this troubled him in a way that he couldn't even attempt to explain. He had meant to stun her into realization; he wanted to make sure that she knew he only spoke the truth, and nothing but the truth. That was all.

So why was she acting like she had just had the wind knocked out of her?

Did it have something to do with this Julaine person? Did she not want him to know about her? If so, why?

Cell sighed inwardly, his mind becoming wary with chaos.

Aah Adina, what ever am I going to do with you?

I swear, you are a walking enigma. You never cease to amaze me, shock me, or anger me. You've even managed to do all three at once, and that takes great talent.

Clearing his thoughts, Cell set his sights on the human female in front of him, and nothing else.

There's only one way to figure you out, my dear Adina, and if I have to go through hell to do it, then so be it.

You know I'd do it too.

Hell doesn't frighten me.

Cell waited a moment to mold a carefully thought out question that would get him what he wanted in lesser time. He had found that simplicity got him far, but only in certain situations, and only if he was very, very clever about it. This was one of those times when he needed to rely on his quick wit to help him find his way out of the jungle that was Adina's mind.

"What were you dreaming about?," he prodded gently, the ever present curiosity dripping from his voice.

Oh please, no more questions. I don't think I can handle it right now. . .

Adina wanted to lash out at him, to hurt him in the only way she could. She knew, however, that it was pointless to even attempt attacking him, for she would be on the ground in less then a second, held down by one of his yellow feet, crying out in pain. There was no need to bring about that sort of humiliation when she already knew her limitations.

"Nothing," she retorted curtly, turning away from him to hide the look of vulnerability that crossed her facial expression. However, the android had caught a glimpse of her face for only a mili-second, but a mili-second was all he needed to realize she was hiding something from him.

Cell shook his head and smirked triumphantly.

When are you going to learn Adina that you can't hide anything from me no matter how hard you try?

"Obviously it was something, because if it wasn't, then you wouldn't be acting so nervous and anxious, now would you?," he teased, enjoying the way it made her flinch and cling to herself more tightly.

"Please Cell, just leave me alone," she pleaded while sounding almost distressed. This made Cell frown. What could she possibly have dreamt about that would make her act so unorthodoxed? What was it about this Julaine that made her want to swallow all her words?

Switching modes, Cell looked down at her curled up form and felt his heart swell with emotion. Perhaps if he tried being more gentle, more sincere. . .

"Adina, I only wish to know what goes on in your dreams when you sleep, that is all. I promise, I won't use them against you."

It worked.

She slowly turned 'round to face him again, her crest fallen expression fading into contemplation. Cell tried to smile in a way that would reassure her that the words he spoke were the truth; no more, no less. He wasn't sure if he succeeded or not, and she had made no impression that his face had changed at all. Maybe because she was too busy considering whether or not he deserved to know of what she dreamt about on her most intimate level of subconsciousness.

She carefully weighed out the pros and cons inside her head.

To let him in would be to let him learn about her past, which she had kept cleverly hidden from his sight up until now.

To let him in would be to severe all that she had deemed unacceptable for conversation in the beginning, her only justification being that it would only make things more complicated then they already were.

Then again, things were already more complicated then she could have ever imagined.

Maybe telling him a sliver of her past wouldn't hurt too much. . .

He did say that he wouldn't use her dreams against her. . .and the one thing that she knew could trust about him was that he always kept his word.

Ah hell, what have I got to lose?

It shouldn't make that much of a difference, not the way I figure anyway.

Straightening herself out only slightly, Adina cleared her throat, and prepared herself for the unexpected.

"I was dreaming about an old friend of mine," she slowly began. "Her name was Julaine Blackbird. . ."







~*~





Children of the elementary age screamed with delight as the bell buzzed loudly, marking the end of their school day. Like a herd of wild animals, everyone seeped out the front door's of St. Mary's Grade School.

Yellow buses pulled up along the sidewalk to take all the children to their nice, cozy little homes, where they would watch after-school cartoons instead of doing their homework.

But there was one child who did not jump up and down smiling like a Cheshire cat; one child who did not get on any of the school buses. No, instead this child kept her head lowered and her eyes on the ground, and she walked away from all the chaos, away from all the over-rated happiness.

She refused to admit to herself that she was jealous of their euphoria.

After crossing the street, she began to head SE, in the direction of the "slummy neighborhood," as her peers preferred to call it. Her shoulders were hunched up all the way to her ears the whole time, and anyone who tried to communicate with her received nothing in return but a rude snub.

"Well hello there Adina!"

"How you doin', youngster?"

"How's your mother?"

"Did you just get out of school?"

"Lovely day for a stroll in the park!"

She ignored it all. They thought she couldn't detect their patronizing sneers behind the smiles and cheerful waves, but she knew better. She didn't want their false attention. . .all she desired was to go home, do her chores, do her homework, and be at peace for the rest of the evening.

Was that so much to ask?

She didn't happen to think so.

Stopping at the corner momentarily to tie her shoe, she payed no heed to the run down foundation that resided next to her.

It was an obvious wreck, as anyone could plainly see. The gate surrounding the yard was covered in dying bushes that managed to shield most of the dead grass from view. The house itself was a pitiful image to behold. Rotting wood sagging off the rusty nails that had once secured them together, razor sharp glass sticking out of opening where windows were supposed to be, chipped paint (the color appeared to be a sickly shade of green) peeling away from places that were infested with mildew and lime.

It was everything you would come to expect from a run down house in a run down neighborhood.

But the fact that it was a dump was not what made it unique from the others houses around it.

There were rumors going around her school that the place was haunted by ghosts who had been murdered somewhere inside. Apparently it had reached the ears of adults as well, for no one would go near it, not even the bravest, most macho men on the block.

Adina, however, didn't believe in such things as ghosts and spirits, and no silly superstition was going to scare her away from a dormant old house that lay in a shroud of obscurity.

She had learned not to worry about things that affect her directly.

Just as she finished looping the shoelace around into a double knot, Adina heard a sing-song voice ring through air.

"Oi, little one! Why the long face?"

It was a rich, warm tone that no one - male or female, child or adult - could resist. Her eyes immediately flew up in search of it's owner, and nearly tripped over her own two feet as she looked towards the house she had been musing about only seconds ago.

Beyond the thickets of lush rose bushes curling around the metal fence, and beyond the mist of hummingbird's and butterfly's fluttering around the greenest grass she had ever seen, stood a woman who looked to be no more then thirty years of age. Her eyes and skin were the color of chocolate Hershey Kisses, and her face was shining through the glowing leaves with uncomprehensible wisdom and beauty that made you want to look away from fear that you didn't deserve to look upon such grace.

But it was her aura - her awesome, titlizing aura that attracted Adina to her the most. She found herself gaping stupidly, and no words could find their way to her tongue what-so-ever. All she could seem to do was wonder where this woman had come from, and how she had gotten there so quickly.

This place was a complete mess yesterday, and now it's the best looking foundation on the entire block!

This can't be real.

I must be dreaming.

I wish there was someone who could pinch me to prove it.

Beneath the shade of the canopy on the white-wash porch, the elusive woman's lips curved into a smile that Adina could only acknowledge as genteel and wondrous.

"You look like you could use something to cool yourself down with. Why don't you come inside, and I'll get some nice ice cream for us both to eat?"

Now it was becoming more realistic.

Normally, Adina would have run away at this point. She knew better then trust strangers; it was a lesson that she had not only been taught at school, but also by her mother as well.

Add on the fact that the place had somehow miraculously perked up over night did not help the equation very much.

Yet the invisible string that had attached to her tiny wrist kept pulling and tugging at her arm, silently urging her on. Something within her conscious told her she could trust this woman entirely, even though she was a stranger.

But could she really abandon all that she had ever been taught, simply because an inner voice she wasn't sure really existed told her to?

Taking risks was certainly not her style. She couldn't afford to take a gamble something that wasn't familiar.

Well, that was it then. Her decision had been made.

She raised one of her feet to turn around and walk away. . .

. . .but instead, they stepped forward, and her hands pushed at the thorn infested gate. It slid open with a creak, and she continued her descent along the stone walkway leading her the untouchable fortress.

What am I doing?! This is insane, I don't even know this woman for goodness sake! She could be a serial-killer for all I know!

Adina's mind continued to scream at her body as she approached the mysterious entity with trust, but also caution.

The pliant smile on her lips remained as she bowed her head slightly in greeting.

"Follow me," she breathed smoothly.

As the woman turned to open her front door, Adina felt her muscles hesitate.

Her mind took this opportunity to try and talk some sense into her insubordinate bone structure.

I don't know what awaits me in that house.

And if I go in there now, I might not come back out again.

This is my last chance to turn around and forget that this ever happened. . .

Adina hesitated only a moment longer before lifting her right leg, and taking an adventurous step into uncharted territory.

I know I'm gonna regret this. . .









~*~









Shades of red and yellow and blue shone through the wind chimes dangling by little hooks on the ceiling. It gave you the feeling that if you stomped on the floor boards hard enough, they would come crashing down in shards of metal and glass. Adina would have liked to find out if this was true, but to do so would be rude and uncouth, and that was not how she was taught how to behave in the presence of strangers, especially polite strangers who took you into their home without a second thought or a single care in the world.

Outside the window was a small garden of herbs. She couldn't discern what kinds were growing beneath the dry soil, but then she didn't really need to know what they were. She trusted this woman wholey and completely, even though she had never seen her or met her before. It was as simple as that.

Adina looked down at her bleached-white shoes, and immediately noticed the paint stains blanketing the wooden floor boards. And not only paint, but also food and drink particles, dust from the little dust bunnies that tickled her feet, and dried up rose petals that were scattered everywhere, not just on the floor. But instead of feeling disgusted by the obvious mess, she felt more alive then she ever had in her entire life (however short it might have been until this point). The sun's rays filtering in through the sheer pink curtains seemed to shine right through her, consuming her tiny body within their warm embrace. Her heart swelled to the point where it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest cavity. She wanted to weep out of pure euphoria, but her moral ethics that kept her grounded would not allow such a blasphemous display of emotion.

When she felt someone's eyes upon her, she looked up to see the lithe woman holding two clay bowls full of double-chocolate ice cream. She was smiling gently, beckoning her without words to come forth. Adina did as she was told and stepped closer, but not too close. Her cautious nature told her to remain wary, because after all, she did not know this woman, and even though her mind and soul trusted her, her body did not. And until all three could unite, she could not completely let go of her suspicion.

"Here you are, little one," the woman said, handing Adina one of the bowls with a smile. "Don't eat it too fast now, we don't want you to get a tummy ache."

Adina stared up at her in awe for a little while before she took the long silver spoon between her stubby fingers and lifted it to her lips. The cold chocolate swirled around in her mouth for a few seconds, and then slid down her parched throat. Suddenly feeling a little better, Adina devoured the desert delight in a matter of minutes, even she had been told not to eat too fast. The sticky, sugary substance outlined the shape of her lips, and a few drips stained her perfect yellow cardigan below her chin. However, she barely noticed as the woman took the bowl from her hands and placed them both in the sink next to them. She turned one of the silver knobs, and luke-warm water began to pour from the oddly shaped faucet head. Adina watched with only half interest, trying to contain her giddiness that coursed through her veins. Of course, that's what sugar did to any child her age, she had to remind herself. No matter how serious and determined she might appear to be on the outside, on the inside, she was still a little girl who yearned for a life of fun, who longed to play with other children her age at the park down the street. But she knew her living conditions would not allow her those luxuries from the very start, and she had come to accept that a long time ago.

It didn't stop her from fantasizing every now and then, though.

The strange woman reached across the counter and produced a napkin for Adina to clean herself with. As she dragged the cloth along her face, the woman began to introduce herself.

"I am Julaine Blackbird, and this is my humble home. I am truly honored to have your company here today, little one. I knew from the start that you were not just any ordinary girl. All I ask in return for my hospitality is your name."

Adina blinked at the woman who - technically - was no longer a stranger to her.

Julaine Blackbird.

Such an odd name.

But, then again, this entire situation was odd in and of itself. . .so it really didn't matter what her name was, did it?

And now she wants to know my name.

Can I really just give it to her, just like that?

What would momma say?

What would she do?

I wish this wouldn't be so hard to figure out. . .

Her speculation didn't last long. Deep within the stubborn nature that she had been forced into, Adina knew right from the start that she would grant the womans request out of blind and abrupt piety.

"My name's Adina."

Julaine smiled and held out her lithe hand for the girl to shake.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Adina."

Adina stared at the womans hand, then up at her face, then back at her hand again.

She had never shook anyone's hand before, mostly because of the fact that she was so young, and they felt the need to baby her and hug her and pinch her cheeks so hard they left bruises behind on her perfectly white cheekbones.

Julaine was the first one ever to not treat her like an incompetent child, and instead made her feel like she was equal to the older woman standing in front of her.

Timidly, Adina reached up and grasped Jualine's frail palm with her own tiny one. Slowly their union moved up and down; once, twice, and a third time before it stopped.

All at once, everything began to finally make it's belated impact.

The look in Julaine's eyes made Adina suddenly feel like she was claustrophobic, and it only seemed to grow worse when she wouldn't release the girls hand.

"Adina, you must promise me something before you go," she spoke softly, as if she could sense the girls sudden uncertainty.

"W-what's that?," she responded cautiously. The gentle smile returned to Julaine's rosy lips.

"You must promise me that you'll come back and visit tomorrow."

The intensity increased the moment those words left her mouth, and Adina could no longer bear it. She blurted out the first thing that came to her mind to save her the tedious process of thinking it through.

"Yes, I promise."

Her smile grew, and she finally released the girls hand. No sooner had she done so did Adina begin to tremble back slowly away from the woman's engulfing presence.

I have to get out of here now before I hyperventilate.

Julaine had no time to inquire about Adina's welfare. The little girl had already fled the scene in a whirlwind of white perfume and strawberry scented shampoo.





~*~





As promised, Adina came back the next day. . .and the day after that, and the day after that, and so on. Surprisingly enough, it wasn't long before the grown woman and the little girl became the best of friends without either of them even realizing it.

They did many things together that others only dreamt of doing, and all within the barrier of Julaine's quaint, little walls.

Adina would come out to the Irish garden setting, and watch Julaine plant her herbs and exotic flowers in the rotting soil. 'I know they'll die eventually,' she would say with a despondent expression. 'Because of this polluted ground, no living thing could survive for very long.' When Adina asked her why she planted the vegetation if she knew they would die, Julaine would tuck a lock of bronze hair behind her ear and smile her gentle smile. 'Because, little one,' she would say,' everyone and everything deserves a chance at life. It wouldn't be fair to deny them of that privilege.' Adina would nod slowly in agreement, though she did not fully understand the woman's symbolic reasoning.

On hot summer nights, they would sit under the stars, and Julaine would indulge the girl with her fascination of space. She told her about the astronauts that had landed on the moon over the years, and about the comets that had passed them by, and about the lunar eclipses that only happened once in a lifetime. Adina would listen attentively, absorbing all the information into her eager little brain.

As time went on and on, Adina found herself walking through the front door without feeling the need to knock. Julaine's house had become a second home to her, and the woman would scold her whenever she treated it otherwise.

Music often blared through out the small corridors covered in artwork from her younger years as an art student, not to mention the drawings and paintings that her and her little companion would create together under the shade of the weeping willow in the front yard (Julaine had affectionately named it Winny). Adina would walk in after a long day at school, and find Julaine dancing like a maniac; her eyes would be closed, her arms and legs would flay around carelessly, for she payed no attention to where they were going or why.

At first, all Adina could do was watch as Julaine poured herself shamelessly out onto the wooden dance floor, only to pick herself back again once the pounding and thumping stopped. Then, gradually, she would join in with her friend who was twenty years her senior, closing her eyes, trusting that her body would know what to do from there.

And so their awkward ballets became a part of their daily rituals. They became another activity to add on to their long list of things to do.

Once, when they were amidst a frenzy of arts and crafts, Julaine had made Adina a doll that looked just like her. She was made of lace and ribbons and Spanish moss, with cerulean blue buttons for the eyes, pink thread sewed down as the mouth, and yarn the color of bitter sweet brown for the hair. Adina had been so touched, so grateful, that she actually began to tear up.

And Julaine had simply held out her arms, offering the girl the only real comfort she would ever truly know. She could lose herself in that warm embrace for hours had she been given the opportunity to do so.

Sometimes, Adina would wonder if Julaine really existed, if she was really there at all. She seemed too surreal, too wise, too graceful. . .

She was like a goddess, too perfect to really be from this imperfect world as it was then and as it is now.

And then Julaine would subtlety remind her that she was just as human as the rest of them, simply by saying something that was slightly flawed, or by revealing an embarrassing habit of hers (and she had plenty of those as Adina would go on to discover) that no one else knew about. It was the little things that gave her the comfort of knowing that Julaine was, in fact, just as human as the rest of them.

At night, within the moment where you are suspended between consciousness and unconsciousness, Adina would hear her inner voices whisper tiny words of wisdom and caution:

This is what true friendship means.

This is what your mother never had.

This is something that will haunt you 'til the end of your days.

She would hear those voices, and she would listen to all they had to say. . .but the actual words would never register quite properly. The euphoria of finally discovering someone who honestly understood her took hold of the girls psyche and refused to let go.

Julaine had given her something that no one else could:

Companionship.

They were inseparable, the two of them. Where you would find one, the other was sure to be near.

And Adina knew that Julaine would never, ever dream of leaving her side. . .







~*~







Adina's tattered brown sandals slapped against the ground as she ran all the way from school to Julaine's corner.

Wait 'til she sees what I've made for her. She'll be so surprised!

Yet, instead of sprinting past the brightly painted bars (like she normally would), Adina skidded to a stop, her happy thoughts slamming into her tiny body and shattering into a thousand little pieces.

The metal gate that she had helped Julaine paint with orange and purple substance was now back to it's original state of split-pea green plaster that was chipping away in every crevice, every corner.

She felt her heart jump into her throat, making it suddenly hard to breathe.

No. . .this can't be happening. . .

Letting her eyes wander bravely up the stone path, she nearly collapsed at the sight of rotting wood and broken glass.

No.

No. . .no. . .

NO!

"Julaine!"

Adina tore past the gateway, past the stump that had been Winny bloodied with sap, past the brown flakes of would-be grass, and raced up to the porch. She burst through the front door, ignoring all the brown, paper-thin leaves that blew past her legs and feet.

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

The rust and mildew hanging from the ceiling and floor stunk so bad, Adina had to block her nasal passage to keep from coughing uncontrollably.

No artwork stood on the walls.

No music blared through the desolate air.

No Irish-garden that housed dying plants.

It was as if no one had been there at all.

Had she imagined the whole thing?

. . .could Julaine really be gone?

A voice deep inside of her told her the truth.

Yes. She is really gone.

"JULAINE!"

Adina fell to her knees, her breath shuddering inside her lungs. The clay blackbird she had been clutching to her chest fell from her hands onto the musty floor. Bits of tenderly molded clay scattered in every which direction, where they would stay for all eternity as far as she was concerned.

Julaine, no. . .

How could you do this to me?

How could you leave me?

How could you bring your love into my world and then just take it away without an explanation?

Oh Julaine, I don't think I can do this on my own. . .

How could you?

Seconds seemed to pass like minutes, minutes seemed to pass like hours, and hours seemed to pass like days. After what felt like years, Adina picked herself back up from the dirty, germ infested floor boards and straightened out her spine. Her face, which had been twisted into certain agony only moments before, was now a mask of emotionless grace. The streaks of salt burning her cheeks went unnoticed as she took one last look at the place she had hoped she would one day call home.

Never again.

Never again will I open myself up this way.

There's too much pain, too much suffering.

Julaine, where ever you are. . .

I hope you're happy.

Turning on her heel, Adina stiffly exited the room without an another word.

She didn't look back.







~*~







"I never saw her again. I didn't understand it then, why she up and left like that without saying goodbye, and to be honest, I'm not so sure I quite understand it to this day. . . But then, Julaine never did base her life on sense or reason, which coincidentally was the exact opposite of myself, even though I was only a little girl at the time. The events that had previously taken place in my life had drained me of my innocence at an early age. I was confused and ignorant and scared, and the only person I could cling to was my mother, who also left me only a year after Julaine's disappearance.

"For as much as I might have felt hurt or betrayed by this disturbance, I knew that Julaine never did anything drastic without a damn good reason for it. So. . .she must have felt strongly about leaving me behind in the manner that she did. I only wish I understood what that reason was!

"As time went on, I figured that the answer would gradually come to me as I grew older, and little by little, step by step, I gain a piece of that knowledge she left for me to learn on my own. I wish I knew where she was now, what she's been doing with herself, if she's even still alive. And I can't help but wonder. . .if she really could see me now, would she be proud? Would she smile that same old smile? Or would she turn her head in disgust? Pretend like she never knew me at all?. . .I guess, I'll never be absolutely sure."

Adina had been looking at her shoes the entire time she told her story, her eyes never wandering upward to steal a glance in the direction of the androids position. Besides, she could read his expression without looking at him anyway:

Stoic.

It was always stoic.

When it wasn't wrinkled with anxiety or anger (sometimes even both), it was always as still as a statue, with his eyes either staring straight ahead into space, or with his lids shut tightly against his eyeballs.

And it was because of this exact reason that Adina knew she could trust Cell to keep her secret.

She had never told anyone - not a single soul - about Julaine.

Ever.

Why was not hard to understand.

Either it was because she didn't think they wouldn't believe her, or she knew they would exploit her story to the public for their own beneficial needs. After all, it wasn't everyday that people saw or heard of such things as a friendship between a little girl and a grown woman.

But Cell was definitely not like other people (for glaringly obvious reasons), and for that she was utterly thankful.

Strangely enough, she found comfort in confiding to him. . .he was a superb listener, only voicing his opinion when he was given permission to.

Most of the time anyway.

Adina didn't realize until it was too late that this was one of those times when he felt the need to put in his two cents, whether she gave him the incentive to or not.

"You said that you were robbed of your innocence at an early age. What did you mean by that?"

Adina's brilliant eyes darted in his direction only to find his gaze already upon her. She was taken aback by his sudden question. . .she didn't think he would care to ask about something like that. She figured he would find it to be a "trivial subject", and there for unsuitable for conversation.

Yet he seemed genuinely interested in her past experiences. . .

He probably thinks he'll find some answers in my past that he can't find anywhere else.

She loosened her muscles and the bones attached to them, and cleared her throat once more.

Well, if he really thinks that it's worth salvaging, who am I to deny him of the chance to discover what he's looking for?

"I never knew my father. He died only a couple of days after I was born. Sure, it was hard for my mom to deal with. . .but that wasn't what destroyed our family.

"Since my father never wrote his will, we lost everything after his death. . .the car, the house, everything. My mom couldn't work, since she had me to take care of, and she couldn't afford a nanny, so she lost her job too. We were forced to go on welfare, and we lived in a tiny one-room apartment above some retail store I never went into. Slowly, my mom slipped into a well of depression, and I knew she would never be able to pull herself out again.

"When I was old enough to go to school, I was constantly teased for being poor. I never had all the extra toys and clothes that the other kids had. I never had the money to go on a shopping spree, or to go see a movie on the weekends. I barely had enough change to buy myself a lunch everyday.

"At first I tried to fit in. I tried to pretend that I didn't have it so bad, that we were just going through a tough time, and that we were sure to pull out of it any day. Then I would be a person worthy of talking to; they would make feel like I was worth while. But they always somehow found out the truth, and I would become the outcast once more. And so, much like my mother, I slowly slipped into oblivion. I hardly ever spoke to anyone, and when I did, it was only for necessary reasons. Some people had even begun to think I was autistic, because even though I was always silent, I remained one of the top students in my class. The straight A's I received on my report cards were proof that I was far more intelligent then other children my age.

"But in truth, I wasn't as extraordinary and unique as people made me out to be. . . I was just an average little girl who was tired of dealing with all the trauma."

Once again, Adina was looking at everything except Cell. She wasn't sure what to expect this time, and she had no desire to find out either. His silence told her nothing of his reaction, and she oddly found herself wishing that he would just say what he was thinking and get it over with.

Sometimes he was just too dramatic for his own good.

Adina almost toppled backwards when she felt one of Cell's hands reach over and brush a lock of golden brown hair away from her cheek. Their eyes fell prey to each other's gaze, and there was nothing in those lavender depths except endless empathy.

Stunned was not the right word to describe what Adina was feeling at that moment.

There really wasn't any single word in the English dictionary that could depict her emotional reaction to Cell's captive touch.

Had he meant it?

Was the look in his eyes real? Or just an illusion conjured up by her over active imagination?

No words were exchanged, which only made things worse, in her opinion. It wouldn't be so hard to figure out what he was thinking if he were to speak his mind. Yet it seemed his body was just as frozen as her own, unable to break their unintentional staring contest.

But if she continued to let him draw physically close to her. . .then what would that mean?

It would give him the impression that he could touch me like this anytime he wanted. It would give him the impression that I didn't mind his body being so close to mine. Whether or not it's the truth doesn't matter.

Can I really allow that to happen?

Can I really allow him to conquer me?

The answer to her questions were more then apparent even before she had asked them.

Well, it looks like I'll have to be the stubborn one this time. . .

Gently, but firmly, Adina pushed his hand away from her face and turned her head, breaking their gaze. Even though she couldn't see the look on his face, she knew that it was nothing short of shock and bewilderment.

"Please Cell, I don't need you pity."

She tried to sound offended, and was failing miserably.

Here she had just poured her heart and soul out into his hands, and when he had tried to show her affection, she pushed him away.

Maybe he knew why, maybe he didn't. At this point, it really didn't matter what was truth and what was false.

The tension was building up inside his encasement of flesh; she could feel it. And when he scoffed loudly beside her, she didn't question his wounded outburst.

"You humans are hopeless. . .utterly hopeless. You depend on others for everything, and when they are gone, you fall apart. Then you have the nerve to wonder why you're in pieces."

She tried to keep herself from turning to glare at him, but she knew she couldn't let that last comment go unnoticed, no matter how much she wished to keep the tension between them at a tolerable level.

"Excuse me, Mr. I-know-everything-about-nothing, but I never wondered why I fell apart after Julaine left, because I already knew the answer. I just didn't understand why she decided to leave, not why I was feeling so abandoned. So you can take your 'hopeless humanity' shit and shove it."

Oh man, I can't believe I just said that. . .

I swear to god, I'm losing my touch.

His upper lip curled to reveal his row of perfectly straight, perfectly white teeth. She wondered randomly how he could have such excellent dental hygiene without even brushing his teeth once in his entire lifetime.

It's funny how one who's so clean can be so vulgar at the same time.

"You claim that you knew so much when you were just a little girl, yet we both know that it is scientifically impossible."

"That's just it Cell. My situation was not based on science and structure, it was based on apparition and chaos. There is no logical explanation for it's reason of existence, at least not by your terms."

"Really now? Then since you know so much, why don't you explain it in a way that'll help me understand?"

Adina stared at him, hesitation present in every limb, every organ in her entire body. He was sure he had her right where he wanted her. . .

"Forget it Cell. You could never understand even if you tried."

. . .but alas, it was to no prevail.

"Is that a fact?"

"Pure and simple."

"And why would I never understand, hm? Is it because I'm not human? Don't you think that's a little biased?"

"No, Cell, whether or not you're human has nothing to do with it. You were born into this world by science and technology. You don't know anything else, and you can't imagine living any other way. So how could you possibly understand an existence that completely contradicts all that you have ever lived for?"

When no response came, Adina sucked in a breath, hoping that she hadn't provoked the android to a point where he would give her the silent treatment. All that ever accomplished was creating more friction in the space between their bodies then was already there.

Yet it appeared that was exactly what Cell planned on doing. His lips were pulled tightly together to form an upside down smile, aimed straight in her direction.

Why can't things just be simple for once, instead of ridiculously complicated?

Feeling the energy drain slowly from her body frame, Adina leaned up against a pillar for support. She let her head fall against the marble surface, and her eyes screwed shut.

The silence reigned supreme for some time as both entities tried to recover from the tiring conflict. Even though it hadn't nearly been as severe as past cases, it's terms had been on a slightly different level. . .a more personal level. And they had both made certain moves that were admitingly not the best ones to make.

Adina had made a mistake pushing Cell away when he attempted to be tender with her, and Cell had also made a mistake by even attempting to be tender at all.

So they were both at fault.

. . .right?

Adina sighed inwardly.

The situation was growing increasingly hopeless.

Just when she was sure they were making progress, something happened that tore them apart once again and placed them on separate sides of the ring, and things would always be different between them from that point on.

Adina had been ready to give up a long time ago, but Cell's stubborn pride would not allow her to turn back from their quest. He would always pull her to her feet again, and force her to participate in all the "fun" activities he had lain out for them. She was slowly learning how to go with the flow, and let fate take them where it willed.

Besides, in light of this new evidence about Julaine, he was certain to be more determined then ever to decipher her enigmatic intellect.

Honestly, he has got the biggest ego I have ever seen on anyone, male or female. . .

Of course, that was a given the very moment she realized he only knew how to be a jerk when his mouth was flapping.

If I don't even know how my mind works, what makes him think that he'll be able to figured it out all on his own, just like that?

Adina's hostile thoughts eventually faded into the background, and her mind was cleared of all the fog that Cell had been the cause of. It was a refreshing break from the usual chaotic traffic that usually plagued her over-worked psyche.

All that remained now was the flickering hunger that lingered in the pit of her stomach, and the sweet image of Julaine's calm and gentle face.

Julaine.

I miss you like mad.

Don't you think you've been gone long enough?

Don't you think it's about time you came home to me?

You know I'll continue to wait for you, even if I know that you will never return, I'll still wait.

Hope is all I have left now.

It's all I'll ever have.

It's all I can depend on.

Completely out of the blue, an old nursery rhyme popped into Adina's head. After reciting it a few times inside her mind, she unconsciously began to repeat the words out loud. Each letter fell from her lips almost sluggishly, as if she were a wooden puppet sitting in the lap of a ventriloquist whom controlled her every thought, every move.

Her one-man audience listened without her even realizing it.

"Sing a song of sixpence,

A pocket full of rye;

Four and twenty blackbirds

Baked in a pie.

When the pie was opened,

They all began to sing.

Now, wasn't that a dainty dish

To set before the King?"

She suddenly stopped short, racking her brain for the next verse. She had memorized that particular rhyme the very moment she had laid eyes on it in a book called The Real Mother Goose, and it unnerved her that she couldn't remember how the rest of it went.

But she wasn't in distress for very long. A soothing, but menacing voice decided to finish the job for her. . .

"The King was in his countinghouse,

Counting out his money;

The Queen was in the parlor

Eating bread and honey.

The maid was in the garden,

Hanging out the clothes.

Along there came a big black bird

And snipped off her nose."

It had caught Adina off guard momentarily, but she managed to keep herself in check while she turned to look at the source from which the voice came.

She wanted to speak, to say something that showed her appreciation of his unnecessary contribution.

I had no idea he was familiar with nursery rhymes. . .

I guess it's not that hard to believe. He is well educated after all.

Cell remained still, keeping his eyes firmly locked ahead of his snipe nose. Yet even though his gaze mingled else where, Adina knew that he was staring at her out of the corner of his periwinkle iris. What swirled around in his brain was a mystery, and she had no desire what-so-ever to solve it.

All she felt like doing was giving him a small, yet thoughtful grin, knowing that his malice would instantly melt at the sight.

She could only hope that the peace would last for a longer period of time, and that they wouldn't have to deal with all the bickering and hostility that had become their way of daily life.

Adina snickered tersely to herself.

I wonder if hell has frozen over yet. . .?