Okay I have no idea how this managed to span so long wow 'fajsf
lots of unnecessary stuff here I guess? i'm running out of ideas gosh OTL. I'll try to get things running again in the next update so please bear with me for the time being ;u;. I'm really sorry for the disappointment I might bring a;sf
on the side note, thank you all so much for all the responses! ;u;. Thank you!
KuroBasu does not belong to me. feel free to point out my mistakes, errors, etc ouo.
thanks in advance for reading!
Studying alone in his home library for hours on end was more boring that he thought.
Kagami leaned back against his chair and heaved a loud, weary sigh. His books and stationery were sprawled all over across the table before him. He stared at them in growing disgust before averting his attention, craning his neck to look out the nearest window. There was still a light snowfall, so the streets were still blanketed with a thin sheet of white. The amount of snow was relatively small compared to that back in the States, but it was still very beautiful. Unlike in America, the snow in Japan gave off this calming sense of tranquility. It felt as if the world was at a standstill, holding its breath.
Kagami let himself daydream for a little while more before blinking back to reality. He'd been trying to self study in English for the last two hours now, the he couldn't exactly deem his efforts productive. His was fluent in speaking the language, of course, but a grammar and vocabulary test? Not so good. He might still be able to scrape through grammar, but vocab was out of the list. He absolutely sucked at translating.
Kagami let out a soft grunt before standing up, stretching his stiff back. He was so done with all this revision shit. He figured some fresh air in his system would help renew his concentration. So he carelessly gathered his books back in a pile to make them look at least slightly tidier, repositioned the chair he'd used, and headed out to the hallway.
The house was quiet, as usual. Kagami rubbed his arms as he walked, unimpressed by the steadily dropping temperature. There was a built-in heater inside the library since his father used the place often too, so it'd been nice and warm when he was inside. The abrupt change in temperature brought goosebumps to his skin, but Kagami could already feel his mood lifting. He found himself looking forward to going outside with childish anticipation.
He hurried back to his room to retrieve his jacket, making sure to tip-toe as he passed his father's office in case he heard him and took the time to chide his 'unrefined' walking habits again. Really, Kagami couldn't care less if he'd never be a ninja, but his father made it look as if his loud footsteps and strides would one day kill him. He could never get him. It wasn't as if he was in an official event or anything where almost everyone's attention was on him. Kagami wanted to do things as he liked, and he wasn't going to let his father stop him.
Most of the time, anyway.
The air was dry and a slight breeze was blowing when Kagami exited his house, much to his delight. Kagami stood still and closed his eyes for a moment, letting the cold, refreshing wind caress his cheeks. He felt so much better already, but there was still something missing. After not attending basketball practice for so long, he felt as if he now had too much energy to spare. His body itched to move, and his mind made no attempts to hold it back. Doing some basic warm-ups, he jogged over to the gates, and giving the excuse of having to go pick something up from the bookstore when he was stopped by the gardener, he slipped outside.
Running down the sidewalk with the wind raking through his hair had never been so contenting. His heart thumped loudly in his ears and adrenaline rushed through his veins. Kagami missed this sensation. It'd only been a week, but he already felt badly out of shape. He kept his pace for a mile or so before finally slowing down, out of breath. He leaned against a wall as he tried to regain his breath, casting his gaze around to pinpoint his current location. Just like the morning when he'd sneaked out of the house, he hadn't any destination in mind when he starting running. Kagami had once again let his legs move by their own, and to his relief this time, he wasn't lost. He was pretty far away from home, but he could still recognize the place. He wasn't sure if it was a coincidence or he was really subconsciously thinking about it, but he'd ended up pretty close to the town area with the shops and all. He'd only need to go a little further to reach the bookstore which he'd frequently visited the past few days to get the revision books Kuroko recommended.
Kagami waited until his breathing had regained its normal rhythm before setting off again, turning left at the junction instead of going straight where the buildings were. He ended up jogging into an even quieter lane, with a surprisingly empty park to his left and the back of a row of houses to his right. It wasn't that early in the morning and he'd expected to see some people playing with the snow since it's a Saturday and all, but he seemed to be alone. Except for an occasional passing car, the place was as silent as it can be. Over the constant scraping of his sneakers against the patches of snow on the gravel ground, he could hear birds chirping in the distance. The weather was fine and the air was fresh. Yeah, definitely better than being cooped up in the library.
Kagami ran all the way to the other end of the lane before making a hundred-eighty turn, backtracking. It hurt to pant too hard, but Kagami ignored the sting in his throat as he jogged back the way he came from. The lack of oxygen intake made him slightly lightheaded, but the cold air around him promptly made him better. He didn't know when it started, but halfway through, Kagami realized he was smiling with satisfaction. Compared to sitting quietly on one spot, he really, really loved to move around. In fact, he began to suspect he was hyperactive, but he didn't put much thought into that. Trivial things like that didn't bother him.
But what really did bother him was something he really didn't expect he'd be so concerned for. During his final tutoring lesson the day before, Kuroko had been obviously spacing out more than usual. Kagami knew he was utterly exhausted from his busy schedule like always, but for some reason or another, he could sense that something was wrong; something that wouldn't stop bothering the pale, blue-haired guy. For as long as he knew him (which, actually wasn't that long but whatever) Kuroko had never openly daydreamed while teaching him. He'd try hard to muster his awareness until the very last minute. But it was different this time. Kuroko had stared so intently into blank space that Kagami had to give up calling him a few times.
Kagami couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. What was it that could've required the attention of his thoughts so much that he'd actually neglected his self-proclaimed responsibility? Kagami didn't know much, but he had his suspicions. He'd seen the look in Kuroko's eyes when Kise showed up at the orphanage. The former might be stoic most of the time, but Kagami made an accidental discovery that the one way to figure what he was thinking was by studying his eyes. Even the slightest sparkle in them seemed to be able to tell so much. Kagami wasn't sure how he knew this.
The look in his eyes yesterday was similar to the one involving Kise, but also very different. There was the same longing in them, the same anxiety, but that was about it. Kagami could only tell he was very worried about something - or someone. He knew he had no rights to butt into people's business, but he had his reasons. He wanted to help if he could. He wanted to repay the favor Kuroko did for him. Tutoring him shouldn't have been easy. He wanted to repay him for all the effort he'd spent on him.
That's it, Kagami decided, turning back into the road that would lead him home. When he goes to return that rolling pencil, he'll try his luck.
He'll see if he could help in any way to wipe that troubled look off his eyes once and for all.
xXx
Kuroko waited as his companion locked the front door before heading over to fetch his bicycle.
He'd usually walk when it came to grocery shopping, but it was an emergency. They'd ran out of rice and Matron was positively freaking out because if there's no rice there's no dinner and if there's no dinner the younger ones would complain. And if the younger ones starting complaining, it was the end. Almost nothing could stop them, and the noise they made was enough to drive anyone crazy.
So Kuroko volunteered to go. He was free, and for once he wasn't tired after taking a day off from work and not having to wake up at the wee hours of the morning to cycle all around town. He'd slept so soundly that he almost didn't wake up in time for school, in fact. Apparently, an anonymous sender had banked in quite a sum of money into Matron's account a couple of days back and, by quite a large sum it meant enough to cover their expenses for a whole month or even more. Matron had been really confused at first, thinking it was a mistake or something. But when she asked the bank clerks, they told her the sender had clearly stated which account to make the transfer to. Despite her pesters, they'd refused to reveal the sender's identity.
Nothing else was mentioned, but Kuroko could already guess with utmost confidence just who the person was. As generous as some donors were, there had never been a case where so much was given to them. Not once in all these years Kuroko had lived in the orphanage. But to receive that just a few days after he left, Kuroko was pretty sure. There was only one person he knew who had enough and cared about the place enough to do such a thing.
Kise Ryouta. The sender was probably him.
Kuroko thought he was silly, really. There wasn't the need for him to do that. Kuroko and the others were doing just fine helping Matron support the family. There was enough to spend and all. There wasn't a need for him to spend his hard-earned cash on them when he was no longer involved in their problems. Kise didn't need to do what he did.
"Tetsuya?"
Kuroko blinked back to reality, abruptly realizing that he'd been standing frozen with his hands on the handles of his bicycle for probably a while now. He quickly murmured his apologies before moving to wheel his bike out onto the pavement on the other side of the gate. His companion only laughed gently, following suit.
The one accompanying him to the store was Teppei this time. Ogiwara was busy doing other chores, so Teppei had offered to go in his stead. His basketball club at school was having a break from training that day, and he had the whole afternoon off with nothing to do - or so he claimed. Kuroko didn't mind the change one bit. Like everyone else, he liked Teppei a lot. He was like this big teddy bear that could be ridiculously childish at times yet very dependable when he needed to be. He was like the ideal big brother, really.
"You ready?" Teppei asked once Kuroko had successfully mounted his bike. He broke into a grin when the latter nodded his confirmation. "Let's go, then!"
The pair cycled their way to their destination in silence, wary of the traffic around them. There weren't that many cars around them, but they still had to be careful. As he pedaled on, Kuroko subconsciously wondered how Kagami was doing. It was his third day of exams and if Kuroko didn't remember wrongly, he was having several tests on Science subjects that day. He hoped Kagami wasn't freaking out. As modest as he tried to be about the matter, they'd really worked hard during all those extra lessons, and it would really be a waste if the redhead forgot everything now.
He mustn't forget everything now.
"Umm Teppei nii-san?" Kuroko called out while he slowly pressed his fingers against the brakes of his bicycle. He received a questioning hum as a response. "We're here already so.."
Teppei came to such an abrupt break, he had to use his legs to support himself and prevent from falling. He turned and looked over his shoulder, eyes wide, eyebrows raised. "So fast?" he asked, surprised.
"Coming here by bike is a lot quicker," Kuroko explained as the older boy reversed. They both got off their bicycles and wheeled them over to the prepared stands. "We usually walk here though."
"I see," Teppei said, straightening up after chaining his bike in place. Standing side by side, he was taller than Kuroko by more than a head, beating Kagami and Ogiwara by an inch or so. "So we just go in and get the stuff on the list?"
"Yes," Kuroko said, securing his bike as well. Teppei let out a short laugh.
"Sounds easy enough," he breathed, and the younger teen only shrugged, a slight smile gracing his features.
"It is easy," he said, and they both stepped into the store without another comment.
Teppei later insisted for them to browse through the aisles together, though he did not state his reasons. Kuroko thought he was just worried of getting lost at first, since it was a pretty spacey place and all (the store was a mini market and not one of those shop-lots), but he abandoned the idea. Teppei wasn't one to be afraid of getting lost. Besides, they had cellphones on them and could just give each other a call if it ever came to that.
Teppei wasn't afraid of them becoming separated, but Kuroko didn't ask. The older boy could simply be thinking of just spending some quality time together. Kuroko had to admit, the two of them were really close back too when they were younger, but time had gradually created a small rift between them. Thanks to after-school activities, Teppei and a few others were rarely home until late in the evening. They still hang out together in the living room after dinner and all, but everyone was already exhausted by then, and there wasn't much they could do. A lot of them had jobs during the weekends too, which didn't exactly make anything better.
"I heard everything from Shige," Teppei spoke up as they headed toward the rice section. When he received a confused look from the other boy, he added, almost reluctantly; "You know, about Daiki."
Kuroko said nothing, only continued walking silently. He'd thought so much about the matter that he'd given up because no matter what idea he came up with, nothing seemed to be able to work. His schedule refused to allow any flexibility. Kise had mailed him the school location and all, and Kuroko wasn't sure if he'd be able to spend so much just to go see him. He didn't have his cellphone number and address so there was no way for them to communicate unless they met each other.
Which brought him back to the first two problems.
"Hey, you don't need to keep it all to yourself," Teppei continued despite Kuroko's lack of response. His expression was serious, the usual light mood around him gone. "Let us help too. We'll talk to everyone about it and see how it'll go."
Kuroko was still silent, staring at the assortment of packaging before him. He kept quiet long enough for Teppei to start expecting him to ignore the question all together. "Teppei nii-san?"
The boy in question perked up. "Y-Yeah?"
Kuroko bent over, and hefted a packet of rice grains into his arms. "Can you help me carry two of these?"
So he was not going to answer after all, huh? Teppei heaved a soft sigh, deciding that there was no helping it. Kuroko was as stubborn as a mule when he wanted to be. Instead of demanding to stay on topic, Teppei decided to just let his habitual lopsided smile make its way back to his face. "Yes, yes."
"Thank you."
They gathered several other things written on the list (including several boxes of disposable heat packs; Kuroko made sure he remembered this time), and before they went to the counter to make their payment, Teppei requested for a quick detour. Raising an eyebrow, Kuroko followed the brunette's lead, his gaze rising to the sign hanging above them. They were going to the sweets section.
"Which one do you think everyone back home would like best?" Teppei asked once they'd come to a stop. An impressive collection of sweets and chocolates of different types and brands were arranged on the rack both in front and behind them. Kuroko shot his companion an odd look, and Teppei only widened his grin.
"I just thought it's been a while since we snacked on sweets and stuff," he said, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "And I've got a little bit of extra money on me today, so yeah. Go ahead and pick a few."
"Shouldn't you be the one picking since you're the one treating?" Kuroko inquired, his eyebrows knit slightly and his head tilted to the side.
"Ahhh I'm not sure everyone would like my tastes in sweets," Teppei admitted. Kuroko had no other comments, moving to grab a couple of random packets from the rack. Once that was done, the pair did one last quick check, and headed to pay for their purchase.
As they loaded the groceries onto their bikes, a peculiar sound reached Kuroko's ears; one he was not very familiar with. It sounded a little high pitched - something like a whine. He looked up and casted his gaze around, wondering what was the source of it. If he wasn't mistaken, it came from somewhere further at the back..
"Tetsuya? What's wrong?"
Kuroko stopped in his tracks, his attention trained on the ground, his eyebrows raised high. Teppei, confused by the flow of events, walked over and joined the shorter boy, following his line of sight.
"What-" he started, then stopped abruptly when he saw just what the shorter was looking at. "Oh."
xXx
It was a little more than a week before Kagami visited the orphanage again.
Exams had did nothing less than destroying three quarters of his soul. Kagami had felt so utterly empty after the last paper that he swore never to touch a pen or pencil again for a long, long while if he could help it. But well, it's all over and that's that. He'd done all he could - or at least he hoped he had - and all that's left was to wait for the results. Kagami forced himself to decide that he'd accept whatever results he'd end up with; good or bad.
After getting used to the warm, lively environment of the orphanage, it took him a while to get himself used to the silence of his own home again. The first few days after he stopped going, his house felt unusually huge; as if he'd shrunk back to his height when he was a kid. So he discovered the down sides of socializing: it made you remember the feelings of loneliness that you'd worked so hard to ignore. His heart felt the long forgotten sting once more, and it hurt more than he was willing to admit.
Kagami shook his head to break out of his reverie as he approached his destination. It was only a week or so, but he was starting to actually miss the place. He found himself wondering how everyone was doing there. If nothing was going on, Kagami guess it'd be another lazy afternoon for them. The kids would be gathered around the kotatsu and heater, making as little movements as possible and Matron would be in the kitchen cooking dinner like she always did at this point in time. Kagami caught himself in the middle of his train of thoughts, and he resisted the urge to laugh at his own ridicule. He'd only been gone for a few days, not a few years.
Contrary to his earlier expectations, however, Kagami discovered that it was pretty noisy inside once he came to a stop at the front door. He raised his eyebrows as he stared stupidly at the thick wooden panel, his hand hovering just an inch above the doorbell. He could hear a mix of gleeful laughter and playful screaming coming from the other side. He was about to press the button to announce his presence when he heard it. His hand froze and his shoulders stiffened because no no no please don't let that be what he thought it was. But before he could convince himself completely that he'd only imagined it and nothing more, the sound came again, and this time, Kagami could feel himself starting to break out in cold sweat. There was no mistake. What he heard had been the real deal.
That was a dog barking.
Kagami had had enough of dogs to last him a lifetime. Sure, they were great creatures and were known as men's best friends and all that, but Kagami absolutely hated them. Or, to be more exact, he was terrified of them. He had some pretty traumatic experiences that included the throwing away of his pride as a man, a pack of very large, very scary dogs, a pair of ripped pants, and a very, very sore butt.
But no, he couldn't let that stop him now. Not after coming so far. He had to properly thank them and return that pencil. Or else his conscience would bother him for the rest of his life. So he took in a deep breath, and steeling his nerves, he pushed the doorbell.
Time seemed to trickle on as he waited. Kagami found himself unable to stay still; shifting restlessly from foot to foot. The volume of noise inside didn't sound like it'd toned down, so he wasn't sure if they'd heard him or not. He was just about to ring the bell again when he finally heard the thuds of footsteps approaching. And in less than three seconds, the door opened, and a familiar face peeked out.
"Oh, hey!" Ogiwara said when he saw him, a grin spreading over his lips. Either he was in a really great mood, or he sounded more enthusiastic on seeing Kagami than usual. He stepped back and opened the door completely, leaning sideways against the wooden frame. "What brings you here?"
"Ah, umm-" Kagami's voice died in his throat as soon as he spotted the blur of black fur running towards them. Oh no. Not now. No no no no no-
"Whoop." Ogiwara calmly bent down and caught the squirming bundle of fur in his hands before it got past his legs. He adjusted his hold and cradled the black and white puppy in his arms. "Oh, no you don't," he chided lightly, tickling its belly. "No running out on my watch."
The little husky barked and swatted playfully at his fingers in response, and Ogiwara chuckled. The raven then looked up, remembering Kagami's presence, and his eyebrows immediately shot up. Kagami had taken quite a number of steps back, putting a small distance between them. His arms were raised as if defending himself, and his face was contorted with fear. Ogiwara blinked blankly at the sight before him, his brain struggling to process what he saw. When he spoke up, he could barely keep the snort from his voice. "What, you afraid of this lil' guy?"
"W-Well," Kagami swallowed, reluctantly lowering his hands by a couple of inches. His voice was an octave higher than usual. "Kinda."
"Seriously? But he's so cute!" Ogiwara held up the puppy, and Kagami flinched. He prayed to all the existing gods that he wouldn't accidentally release it. Pride be damned; he was probably going to let out some not so manly screams if that thing came after him. Ogiwara must've seen just how genuinely scared he was because he retracted his hands and returned to cradling the puppy, keeping a tight grip on it so it wouldn't trash its way off.
"I'm guessing you're here to see Tetsuya," he said, and Kagami nodded silently. He looked over his shoulder and called out; "Heyyy, Tetsuya! Kagami's here!" He turned back to the redhead right after. "So you want to come in?"
"I think I'll be alright out here," Kagami replied, looking like he had no intention at all to leave his spot. "You know, away from the dog."
Ogiwara gave a shrug like, suit yourself, before turning around and nearly bumping into the newly arrived Kuroko. He quickly stammered an apology and disappeared back inside, the shorter boy taking his place at the door. Kuroko stared at the still slightly cowering Kagami, blinking blankly. "Isn't it cold out there?" was the first thing he asked and Kagami wanted to facepalm because really? Did it look like it was springtime out there?
"It is," Kagami said with a sigh, and dared himself to hold on to the hope that the dog was safely kept inside and not running around wild by stepping closer to the orphanage entrance.
"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" Kuroko asked again, his voice tinged with a little concern. He didn't want the taller boy to start falling sick anytime soon.
"Nah, I'm good. I'm just here for this anyway," Kagami said, reaching into his bag to retrieved the borrowed item. He held out the pencil. "Here. Thanks for this."
Kuroko took the stationery from his hand. "You're welcome. How was your exams, anyway?"
"Not too bad, I guess," Kagami admitted, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "It didn't kill me and all, so yeah."
"Did this help?" Kuroko looked at his hand, halfheartedly weighing the item he held.
"Don't know. We're only getting our results the day after tomorrow."
"I see."
There was a short moment of awkward silence as Kagami contemplated on whether or not to blurt out the next thing in his mind. He had been really determined to do it earlier, but now that he was face to face with the guy, it seemed pretty embarrassing. But hey, when was he not completely mortified? He'd swallowed his pride plenty of times before. He could do it again.
"T-Thanks again," he said, casting his gaze downwards as he tried his best to refrain from stammering. "For all you've done."
Kuroko's deadpanned tone didn't change. "You're welcome, Kagami-kun."
"And - uh - is there - um-" Kagami made himself take a deep breath before looking up and trying again. "Is there anything I can do for you in return?"
"You don't have to," Kuroko stated simply.
"I want to," Kagami insisted, ready for this. He'd expected the guy to reject his offer flat out before he'd even reached the place. "You've done me a pretty huge favor, and I refuse to leave that unpaid."
"I agreed to tutor you without expecting anything in return," Kuroko said carefully, sounding guarded. "So there's no need for you to think that far."
"But there must be something." Kagami stared right at those twin pools of blue, daring the shorter boy to deny it. He tried to tell him through their gaze. He knew he was still troubled with something. He knew he needed help. He knew he could help in some way or another. He knew just how badly he wanted to ask, and how he could not bring himself to because it was his problem and his alone. He knew, and he wanted to aid him in whatever way he could.
"It's none of your concern," Kuroko said, his voice so soft it could've been a whisper. He took a step back - ready to slam the door shut if necessary, Kagami noticed. "I appreciate it, Kagami-kun. But I'm sorry."
Kagami wasn't very good at reading moods, but even he could sense that this was going to get messy if it continued. He had no choice. As much as it was going to bother him, he had to let it go. He figured if he pressured Kuroko any more, the guy would just quietly close the door and refuse to speak to him for the rest of his life. He shouldn't really care about that, but still..
"Wait," Kagami called out before Kuroko could return inside. The latter stopped, reluctantly turning to look over his shoulder. "Just.. keep my number, okay? Call me if you ever need me for anything."
Damn, that sounded weird, but Kagami managed to keep a straight face.
"I will," Kuroko said after a millisecond pause. "Thank you."
And without another word, he backed inside, and shut the door.
