Ok, sorry your getting this twice but I messed up the title.
I have to admit I was really excited to write this chapter but then got terrible writer's block. I just came up with the idea of changing the plot so that it went this way when I was writing the last chapter.
Chapter 8: So Much for Letting Go…
Previously on My Personal Sun…
I started to walk back to my truck, but when I turned I thought I saw something sparkly next to the house. Not thinking much about it, I reached to open my door when I heard a honey velvet voice.
"Bella?"
I stopped dead. I would know that voice anywhere, but never thought I would hear it again. The question was, was it real? I took a deep breath and looked up. What I saw nearly made my knees give out. There stood Edward Cullen sparkling like he was covered in a million brilliant diamonds. He was haloed by the sunlight and more beautiful than I ever remembered. Surely this was a dream, either that or I was going crazy again.
"Edward?" I breathed barely audible, but I know he could hear me.
He walked towards me at a fast human pace and I thought he was going to stop in front of me but instead he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him. The next thing I knew his lips were crushed against mine. The second his lips touched mine I knew this wasn't a dream. Edward had never kissed me with this much intensity in real life or in my dreams. For some reason I wasn't fighting it. Instead I was kissing him back with just as much intensity. My mind was clouded in all that is Edward Cullen. My lips molded to his as if the time apart never happened. Before I could clear my mind I heard a high pitched squeal. The second our lips broke apart I was instantly pulled away from Edwards steel arms and into a pair of much smaller yet just as cold and strong arms.
"Bella! I missed you so much!" Alice's twinkling chime voice said as she pulled back out of our hug but didn't release me.
"Oh Alice, I missed you too! You have no idea how happy I am to see you!"
I heard a loud, deep voice boom from in the house, "Bella?!" Then I heard thunderous footsteps and saw Emmett emerging from the house and looking right at me. The second he saw me his face lit up in a huge smile and then I was being crushed in Emmett's bear hug.
"Em… Can't…breath…"
"Oh, sorry Bella." he said releasing me, "I can't believe you're here and look how much you've changed!"
"Oh Em, look at you. You've changed so much too!" I said sarcastically. Emmett's booming laughter surrounded me.
I smirked at him and looked up at the porch to see the rest of the Cullen family standing there looking down at the scene.
"Esme." I breathed. Esme had become like a second mother to me before they left. She was the only one I had in Forks and then she left. It crushed me but now I was so happy to see her I started to tear up. I walked past Emmett and Alice as she walked down the steps towards me. A few seconds later she was pulling me into a tight hug.
"Oh Esme. I missed you so much." I said as I felt the tears that were building up in my eyes spill over.
"Bella dear, I missed you too. More than you know." She said and I could hear the tears in her voice. Sure enough, when I pulled back I saw her eyes filled with the tears she could never shed.
"Oh Esme." I said as I pulled her back into another hug. We held each other for another minute, just savoring the feeling and expressing our love for each other wordlessly.
Finally we broke apart. She held my hand and we walked into the house. She pulled me down onto the couch and hugged me again. Everyone else came in and sat down. Alice sat next to me and Edward sat in the chair adjacent to us. I realized that even though a million things had happened since we had first seen each other this morning, I don't think he had ever taken his eyes off of me.
We all sat there, talking and catching up on all of the things that had happened in the years since they left. It felt like only minutes passed, but I realised we had been talking for hours. I left out what Jake was and anything about us that was more than friends. I was protecting him and the pack. Or at least that's what I told myself. I was glad, as I was a lot of the time when I was around Edward, that he could not read my mind. As we sat there he didn't say one thing. It wasn't until my phone rang in my pocket that I realized how lone I had been gone. I looked down at the screen and saw Jake's face smiling back up at me.
"Oh, I…um… I need to take this. Will you please excuse me?" I got up from the couch.
"Of course, dear. Take all of the time you need."
I walked out of the house and down the steps. I walked into the grass, sat down facing away from the house and answered my phone.
"Hey Jake."
"Bella! Oh thank goodness your alright. I've been so worried that you had got hurt or something. Where are you? What have you been doing. You are alright, right?"
"Yes Jake, I'm fine. I'm sorry I made you worry. I guess I just lost track of time."
"It's alright, honey. As long as your fine. You didn't answer me though, where are you? What have you been doing?"
Crap! I thought, what am I going to say? I can't very well tell him I'm hanging out with a family of Vampires. He'd go nuts and storm over here to 'rescue' me. No, I can't let that happen.
"Oh, I just ran into some old friends and we were just catching up. I guess we were having so much fun that we didn't realize how long we had been at it."
"Anyone I know?"
"No, not really." Which wasn't much of a lie considering I don't think he had ever actually met the Cullens.
"OK, well take your time. I'll see you later then, sweetheart. I love you."
"I love you too. Bye."
I hung up and stood. When I turned around Edward was standing a few feet away. I was immediately afraid that he had overheard.
"Will you go for a walk with me?" He didn't alleviate any of that fear.
I was afraid my voice would betray my worries so I just nodded. He walked forward and took my hand.
We walked to the edge of the small clearing and then into the woods. We walked for a few minutes without saying anything at all. The farther we went the more panicked I became. This was just too similar to when he left me. Just as I was about to open my mouth and say something he stopped and turned to face me while reaching out and taking my other hand as well.
"Bella, I never thought I would see you again." He pulled me in and kissed me with so much passion, something he never did before today. This time I remembered Jacob and I pushed away.
"Edward… please don't do that again." I whispered. The second the words left my lips part of me wished so badly that I could take it back but the other part knew it was the right thing to do. His face panicked.
"Did I hurt you? I'm so sorry. I didn't-" I stopped him before he could continue.
"No, you didn't hurt me. I'm fine." His face became confused then realization washed over his face.
"You don't want me." He said repeating the same words that I said to him when he left me. He dropped my hands and started to step away but I quickly reached out and grabbed his hand stopping him.
"No Edward, of course I do. It's just…" What was I supposed to say it's just that I moved on after you left and now I'm engaged to another man, who just happens to be your mortal enemy. Oh yeah, that ought go over well. I decided to change directions. "What are you doing here, Edward? Why are you back?"
He looked down, away from my eyes but reached out and seized my other hand and stood facing me again.
"Bella…" His voice came out so sad and so full of pain. "I meant to keep my word and never bother you again but it was just so painful to be away from you. We were on our way to Denali but some how Alice convinced us to make the pit stop and to be honest I didn't really mind stopping. I was hoping to see you with out you seeing me but we had only just got to the house minutes before you arrived."
He finally looked up and focused his gaze on meeting my eyes.
"Bella, I lied to you. I could never not want you. You're everything to me and being without you was like being empty. While I was away I never stopped loving you and not for one second did I not think of you. The thing that happened with Jasper scared me so much Bella. That was the second time you almost lost your life because of me. If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, I couldn't live if something were to happen to you, especially if it was because of me."
He leaned down and tried to kiss me but I closed my eyes and turned my cheek at the last second.
"Edward, please…" I said still not above a whisper. I stood still facing away with my eyes closed. I so badly wanted to kiss him but talking about this was just dredging up painful memories of what he did and made me even more focused on Jacob because of how he saved me.
"I know I hurt you, Bella and I'll never forgive myself for that. Like I told you before, I came back here planning on keeping my word but the second I saw you I knew I could never leave again. It was like I was finally whole after all of this time."
He reached over, put his finger under my chin and turned my face towards him. I opened my eyes and looked into his honey golden eyes.
"Bella, I swear I will never leave you again unless you tell me to. Now that I'm back we can be together again. It will be as if I never left. We could go back to the way we were before and I promise I'll give you anything you want. If you still want I'll change you. I realized I could never live without you and to spend eternity with you would be heaven to me. Please Bella…"
He hooked his arm around my waist and leaned down, trying to kiss me again but I stepped back, breaking our connection. I looked up into his eyes and felt the anger begin to rise.
Who does he think he is, or better yet who does he think I am? I thought to my self. Does he think that I am just some pathetic girl who only lives for him and would drop everything good she has finally going for her and run back to him because he wants me again?! Maybe I would have before but not now! If that was one thing Jacob did it was transform me from the pathetic weak girl I was with Edward and made me into a much stronger woman.
"Will you please stop trying to kiss me!?" I said. I know he heard the anger in my voice.
"Why Bella? Why do you keep pushing me away? You told me you still wanted me…"
"Because Edward, how dare you come back here and just expect me to accept you back with opening arms after what you did to me. When you left, it almost killed me. I spent weeks in a catatonic and when I finally woke up from that I spent the next four or so months in a zombie state. I was there in body but inside I was numb and dead to the word."
He winced as I spat out my venom coated words. I knew I was hurting him by saying this but frankly he deserved it for what he did.
"Bella, I'm so sorry.." he mumbled.
"SORRY! You're SORRY!?" That was it. He had done it now. I felt my eyes brim with tears and flood over, running down my cheeks. I walked up to him and started beating my fists against his chest. He just stood there and let me. Some part of my brain knew that it didn't hurt him, only me but I didn't care.
"YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME HERE TO DIE! YOU WERE MY WHOLE WORLD, AND YOU JUST…LEFT! I HATE YOU!"
My fists started to slow until I was just barely hitting him with my open hand and now I was crying so hard I could hardly see.
"You left me…." I whimpered-- sobbed-- into his chest with my palms pressed against it. He wrapped his arms around me tightly. "How could you leave me?"
"Bella…" he whispered in my ear and I could hear from his voice that if he could he would be crying too. "I love you."
"I love you too." I whispered.
"Bella?" A deep, pained voice that didn't belong to Edward said from behind me.
I didn't need to turn around to know who had spoken. That voice belonged to one man and I would know it anywhere.
Jacob.
Ok before you all want to jump though the computer and kill me, please just look at the title of the story and look and see who the main characters are. I haven't changed anything and I'm not going to.
Now, please review! Tell me how much you hate or love or whatever me!
