Part 1: Your Secrets Are Out
Chapter 7:Sunday June 9, 2013

"There is a boy in front of my door," Meredith said calmly.

"What's his name?"

"Like you don't know," Meredith responded.

"So he sat out there waiting for you?" Cristina asked.

"Weird?"

"Creepy. What is his problem anyways? Doesn't he have a wife?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah, but we did kiss-"

"You kissed him? You are still the slutty mistress."

"Am not," Meredith said as she picked up her tooth brush, "I haven't been the slutty mistress in eight years."

"Until you kissed him."

"You aren't helping!" Meredith said frustrated.

"If you wanted help, why did you call me?"

"Good point."


"So this guy, you love him don't you?"

"That's not the point," Meredith said before sipping her coffee at the old kitchen table.

"It is the point."

"Aunt Hil, it's not. The point is he's married. He can't be married and love me too. It just doesn't work that way."

"Obviously it does. Besides, some piece of paper that says your married isn't anywhere near as binding as the actual emotion of love. That marriage means nothing to him and if you are just realizing that, then you may be even stupider then your mother," the older women said as she sat down next to her niece.

"You aren't being very aunt-like right now. You're being more motherly. You are supposed to tell me that he's just stupid and he's the one missing out," Meredith joked.

"No, that's your grandmother's job. Now, if you want that, you go learn how to talk to the dead, but right now, I'm all you got and this is all I'm offering."

Meredith just sighed realizing that her Aunt was right. These were the words she needed to be hearing despite the fact that she'd never admit to it.

"Hun, you've been here for more than a month. Trust me, I love having you around especially since your cousins don't live anywhere near here, but you need to live your life. I understand you needed time, we all do, but time is running out," she said giving a sympathetic smile to Meredith.

"Can't I wait just a little longer before I have to deal with this? Time really can't be running anywhere that quickly."

"We never know how quickly time is running or when you're going to lose your last second. You don't want to go home and realize that that second already passed."

"Okay, so fine. I do love him," Meredith said defeated.

"I know honey. But I'm not the one you should be telling."


Meredith opened her door and watched as Derek fell backwards. She couldn't help but smile as he abruptly woke up and looked up at her. He smiled at her, almost forgetting everything that had happened. As her smile stiffened into a hateful glare, everything came back to Derek and he almost jumped up. He brushed off his nice clothes and looked expectantly at Meredith.

"What?" she asked knowing the look on his face.

"We should talk."

"No. I've heard enough lies from you to last me a life time," she said, trying to close the door.

"Lies? I did not lie," Derek said. Despite her best efforts, he pushed the door open and walked into her room, letting the door slam behind them.

"Then what the hell was the whole 'I'll wait for you' speech? That, that is what I'd call a lie. You couldn't wait two months, could you? Oh, but you could wait two months to tell me you were married."

"Meredith, stop it. You are missing things here. You don't know what happened," Derek said. He was yelling or raising his voice at all like she was. He was calm, trying to plead with her.

"I know perfectly well what happened. I left to think. Not to get away from you forever, to think. Then I came back because I realized that I couldn't stand being away from you and all I find when I get back is a new boss and a fucking letter on my bed full of lies. What am I missing here, Derek?" Meredith yelled.

"Just calm down," Derek said.

"No! I'm not going to calm down. And I'm sure as hell not going to forgive you for leaving me. Now get the hell out!" Meredith yelled trying to push Derek out the door.

Derek was going to fight back, but what was he going to say? There wasn't anything he could say or do to turn back the time and they both know that. It was his fault that they were here and he couldn't go back in time and change it. He let the door slam in his face and listened as her breath slowed on the opposite side of the door, knowing she hadn't moved a muscle.

They both slid to the ground with only the wood separating their bodies. Their minds both went to the same piece of cream paper with thick black ink inscribed neatly on top of it. Meredith thought back to the night that she ripped it from the envelope and sat on her bed, reading it's content, while Derek's mind went back to writing it, sitting alone in his office.

Meredith,

I doubt that'll you'll ever get this, but I'm still going to write it, because this is the only way I can even try to connect with you right now. I don't know what is going on, but everyone keeps telling me that you are gone. I thought everything was worked out, but apparently not. You left exactly fifteen days ago. I just wanted you to know that the divorce is final. It's done. Finally. Addison is still in Seattle, but she moved out and I've basically camped out in your room. I don't want to let you go. I don't understand why you are making me. I don't understand why you are forcing us to go through this when we don't have to. We could be together now. We could love each other forever and grow old together. Everything we'd ever dreamed could happen, but now you are gone and I can't see straight enough to see into the future at all. I'm going to wait for you. I know one day, no matter what we do, fate will step in. That's the way life works. Despite all our best interests, fate will win. I'll meet you again and I'll fall for you all over again. It won't make a difference if it's tomorrow, two days from tomorrow, or ten years from tomorrow. Nothing is going to change that. I'm not going to expect you to wait around for me to find you, because honestly, I don't know where to start. I know there is a reason you left, otherwise you wouldn't have. I just hope you didn't give away your life for me. If you really wanted to be away from me, I could have left, so that you could stay with your friends and your mother and your job. You should have told me that something wasn't right, but I don't blame you for not. I know I'm not the easiest person for you to trust and I know that's my fault. Just trust that I'll still be here. I'll still be here when fate steps in and takes things out of our hands. I love you. I'm so sorry I never got to tell you that.

Love,

Derek