Game 1: Featured Game - Dallas Hippogriffs vs Virginia Werewolves.

Team rosters;

Dallas Hippogriffs

Chaser: Bill Dauterive (#49)

Chaser: Dale Gribble (#50)

Chaser: Jeff Boomhauer (#73)

Beater: Hank Hill [C] (#98)

Beater: Peggy Hill (#89)

Keeper: Luanne Platter (#40)

Seeker: Bobby Hill (#13)

Coach: Buck Strickland

Virginia Werewolves

Chaser: Donna Tubbs (#05)

Chaser: Roberta Tubbs (#38)

Chaser: Federline Jones (#16)

Beater: Cleveland Brown [C] (#5)

Beater: Cleveland, Jr. (#13)

Keeper: Tim The Bear (#44)

Seeker: Rallo Tubbs (#83)

Coach: Lester Krinklesac

FOX?

Harry: Well, it has been a fun preseason for us all! We got to see some of the league's brand new teams strut their stuff against each other and some of the old teams. But the fun is now over as we roll into the regular season - this is where it really counts! As for us, we'll be starting the regular season in Dick Price Stadium at Norfolk State University, which is serving as the home of the Virginia Werewolves - having just relocated from Richmond, they will be playing their first home game in Norfolk today, versus the Dallas Hippogriffs! I'm The Chosen One, Harry Potter, with my best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, and thanks for having us in for this match!

Ron: First off, about the Werewolves - I'd say that not only was it a very smart move to move down here from Richmond, this is where they should've been in the first place! Seriously, it's a much bigger metro area with a much bigger media market, and a bigger stadium to boot! Sure, the Werewolves' on-pitch performance has paled in comparison to Washington and Providence, but at least they'll have a hell of a lot more fan support here.

Hermione: Well if the Dallas HIppogriffs could make the playoffs in the first two seasons, then the Virginia Werewolves should be able to as well. Neither team has any known special abilities, weapons, or other means of sabotage, and yet Dallas has made it to the postseason in both the first two seasons, and even won the National East division title once! For that, I admire them. Nonetheless, I look forward to seeing what Virginia has in store for them.

Harry: We're about to - they're getting set to tip off now.

...

Hank: Yep.

Bill: Yep.

Dale: Yep.

Boomhauer: Mm-hmm.

Peggy: We're gonna do great again this year, and we'll in the playoffs again for sure. I just know it!

Luanne: Yay!

Bobby: You said it, Mom!

...

The Bludgers are up, followed by the Golden Snitch, and they fly their separate ways, out of sight from the players. Then, the referee picks up the Quaffle, and wastes no time throwing it up from the center of the pitch.

Harry: The Quaffle is released, and the 3rd Cartoon Quidditch regular season game begins!

Roberta Tubbs gets the biggest jump off the line - she swipes up the Quaffle and takes possession for the Virginia Werewolves.

Dale: Howdy, little lady!

Dale Gribble is the first to charge at Roberta Tubbs - however, he puts too much effort into meaninglessly taunting her, and as a result, Roberta is able to sneak past Dale with the Quaffle still in hand.

Roberta: (flips bird at Dale)

Roberta Tubbs then hands the Quaffle over to her mother, Donna Tubbs. At that moment, Bill Dauterive and Jeff Boomhauer both attempt a double-team on her, trying to distract her enough to be able to take the Quaffle away.

But that's when Donna's husband Cleveland Brown and his son, Cleveland Jr., do a Dopplebeater Defence, sending the Bludger with such force at Bill and Boomhauer that they are forced to break off, leaving Donna out in the clear.

Donna: Thanks, boys!

Cleveland: Go get 'em, Donna! (blows kiss)

Donna Tubbs then flies into the Dallas Hippogriffs' scoring area;

Harry: And it's a GOAL! 10 points to the Virginia Werewolves!

Luanne: How could I have missed? (facepalm)

Donna: Woo, mama! We're ahead! Yeah!

GAME BREAK

This Game Break takes place in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where the Milwaukee Death Eaters are hosting the Columbus Pixies. The score is 0-0. Wanda has the Quaffle for the Columbus Pixies; her husband Cosmo flies out ahead to just outside of the Milwaukee scoring area, where he ends up in a brief staredown with the Death Eaters Keeper, Grim...

Cosmo: EXPELLIARMUS!

Grim: AVADA KEDAVRA!

Cosmo's Disarming Charm and Grim's Killing Curse run into each other along their flight paths, canceling each other out and connecting with each other, resulting in a spectacular display of red and green light permeating throughout Miller Park. This proves to be the break that Wanda is looking for; while Grim is focused on Cosmo, she flies right up to a hoop and puts the Quaffle through, putting the Pixies up into a 10-0 lead.

BACK TO VIRGINIA

Still incredulous over having botched the save, Luanne Platter throws the Quaffle back into play; Jeff Boomhauer comes up with it for the Dallas Hippogriffs.

As Hank Hill hits away a Bludger that was headed right for him, Boomhauer passes the Quaffle over to Dale Gribble. That's when Federline Jones flies hard towards Dale, looking about ready to run right into him...

Harry: We got a penalty whistle going off!

Ron: Federline Jones looked hellbent on knocking the living daylights out of Dale Gribble just then.

Hermione: And it's gonna result in a Blatching call against the Werewolves!

Just as Federline is about to hit Dale, the action is called to a momentary halt by the penalty whistle. The referee's call;

Referee: Blatching. Virginia, #73. Penalty shot for Dallas!

Federline: Fuck! Why do them refs always have to steal our thunder?

Federline Jones is called for Blatching, awarding a penalty shot to the Dallas Hippogriffs. Dale Gribble is the one who volunteers to take the shot, since he was the victim of Federline's foul play.

Tim: Just try me!

Dale: Oh, I'll do more than that, bear...!

Harry: Dale Gribble SCORES on the penalty, and we're tied at 10!

Dale: Suck on that, bear!

Tim: (facepalm) Man, I swear!

Tim The Bear can't get from the center hoop to the left hoop in time; the shot goes through, and Dale Gribble ties the game up at 10-10.

Tim then inbounds the Quaffle back into play, and it is promptly picked up by Donna Tubbs.

Peggy Hill immediately hits a Bludger aimed at Donna, but she just barely dodges it and passes the Quaffle to Roberta Tubbs.

Donna: That was too close!

Roberta: I got this, Mom!

Then, just as Roberta crosses over onto Dallas's side of the pitch, she sees Bill Dauterive, Dale Gribble and Jeff Boomhauer all coming at her at once from the front and the sides, looking to gang up on her, disorient her and take the Quaffle.

Roberta: Crap...!

Federline: Over here, babe, I'm open!

At that point, Roberta Tubbs football passes the Quaffle over Bill and Dale's heads; it is hauled in by her boyfriend Federline Jones, who takes it up to the Hippogriffs' goal;

Harry: And it is SAVED by Luanne Platter!

Federline: (sarcastic) Oh yeah, right!

Luanne: (giggles) Don't you wish your girlfriend was awesome like me?

Federline: (growls)

Federline shoots down at the right hoop, however, Luanne Platter makes it there just in time and catches the Quaffle before it goes through.

While Federline regroups with his teammates, Luanne throws the Quaffle over to Bill Dauterive.

Roberta Tubbs and Federline Jones rush at Bill, trying to double-team him. But Bill backhand passes the Quaffle to Jeff Boomhauer, retaining possession for his team.

Boomhauer: Over here, dang ol' suckers!

But just as soon as he says, Cleveland Brown hits a Bludger headed right for him...

Ron: OOH, right in the face!

Harry: And he's been dismounted!

Boomhauer: DANG IT...! (thud)

The Bludger hits Jeff Boomhauer right in the face, breaking his nose and knocking him off of his broom. Leaving the Quaffle behind, he cries out in agony as he collapses to the pitch below.

Roberta Tubbs then picks up the loose Quaffle for the Werewolves. Hank Hill hits the other Bludger at her in a last ditch effort to keep her away from his team's goal, but it misses horribly.

Hank: Ah, dang it!

As she dodges the Bludger, Roberta passes the Quaffle over to Federline Jones, who takes it up to the Hippogriffs' goal;

Harry: Federline SCORES that time! Virginia goes up 20-10!

Federline: YYEAH! That felt good!

Roberta: (giggles) I bet! (kisses Federline)

Federline launches the Quaffle straight at the center hoop that Luanne Platters is in front of. The Quaffle just edges past Luanne and speeds through the hoop, and Virginia goes up 20-10 over Dallas.

After the goal, Luanne once again throws the Quaffle back into play - this time, it is Dale Gribble who gets it.

GAME BREAK

This Game Break takes place in Tampa Bay, Florida, where the Tampa Bay Trolls are hosting the Nashville Basilisks. The score is 40-30, Tampa Bay. Stimpy J. Cat and Eddy are both hot on the Golden Snitch's tail, however, Eddy is behind, while Stimpy is almost a fingertip away. Just as all seems lost for the Trolls, Edd shows up with his hypnotizing wheel;

Edd: Stimpy, listen to the sound of my voice...

Under Edd's hypnosis, Stimpy breaks off from the Snitch chase, allowing Eddy to catch the Snitch; the Tampa Bay Trolls defeat the Nashville Basilisks 190-30.

BACK TO VIRGINIA

Harry: And look at this! Bobby Hill is right on top of the Golden Snitch!

Ron: Yeah, but Rallo Tubbs is not far behind, and he's coming up fast!

Hermione: Oh, now I'm not so sure who's gonna catch it...

As the gameplay continues on, Bobby Hill is right behind the Golden Snitch; it zips around in every direction as he tries hard to catch it for the Dallas Hippogriffs.

However, not far behind is Rallo Tubbs, gaining on him rapidly, determined to stop him and steal the win for the Virginia Werewolves. As he closes, the Virginia home crowd breaks into song, cheering him on;

Crowd: (singing) AWOOOO, WEREWOLVES OF VIRGINIA! AWOOOO!

But then, just as Rallo pulls up alongside Bobby;

Harry: Not in time! Bobby Hill has the Snitch, Hippogriffs win!

Bobby: WOO! I did it! I actually did it! That was way too close!

Rallo: No! (sniff) I wasn't fast enough! (sniff)

The crowd at Dick Price Stadium falls silent as Bobby Hill catches the Snitch just before Rallo Tubbs can get to it - with that, the Dallas Hippogriffs defeat the Virginia Werewolves 160-20.

The only cheering in the stadium comes from the Hippogriffs, as they wildly celebrate their first win of the season. The Virginia crowd, meanwhile, departs in dejected deafening silence as the Werewolves retreat to the locker room in shame...

Around the WLCQ;

Arizona Phoenixes - 170; Seattle Vampires - 30

Atlanta Owls - 0; Houston Horcruxes - 150

Birmingham War Pigs - 20; New Orleans Nightwings - 210

Brisbane Dirawongs - 10; Kyoto Kappa - 190

Charlotte Hallows - 160; South Carolina Black Cocks - 40

Cleveland Cruciatus - 200; Cincinnati Redcaps - 50

Columbus Pixies - 40; Milwaukee Death Eaters - 200

Denver Dementors - 190; San Diego Snatchers - 70

Detroit Alicorns - 220; New York Dragons - 60

Hiroshima Hibagon - 250; Adelaide Bunyips - 50

Idaho Yeti - 220; Las Vegas Night Elves - 40

Jacksonville Jinx - 230; Raleigh-Durham Willows - 20

Kansas City Inferi - 240; Indiana Slughorns - 10

Louisville Phantoms - 250; Memphis Mandrakes - 0

Milan Witchhunters - 100; Mexico City Chupacabras - 150

Minnesota Wormtails - 20; Providence Griffins - 200

Montreal Manticores - 30; London Chimeras - 170

Nagoya Nue - 180; Auckland Moa - 0

Nashville Basilisks - 30; Tampa Bay Trolls - 190

New Jersey Wyverns - 180; Pittsburgh Poltergeists - 10

New Mexico Marauders - 50; San Francisco Seers - 230

Orlando Black Magic - 190; Miami Goblins - 10

Osaka Oni - 100; Sydney Yowies - 150

Ottawa Storm Hawks - 50; Rome Fairies - 220

Paris Veela - 30; Monterrey Cadejos - 210

Perth Wagyls - 60; Tokyo Tengu - 240

Philadelphia Thestrals - 170; Chicago Fire Crabs - 0

Portland Parselmouths - 180; San Antonio Centaurs - 20

St. Louis Serpents - 20; Buffalo Behemoths - 160

Syracuse Silurians - 10; Boston Leviathans - 230

Toronto Salamanders - 40; Marseille Sphinxes - 210

Utah Fiendfyre - 40; Los Angeles Undead - 200

Vancouver Grindylows - 50; Liverpool Beetles - 190

Washington Ministry - 180; Oklahoma Orcs - 50

Yokohama Yokai - 190; Melbourne Minka Birds - 20

League standings;

American Conference

East Division

Buffalo Behemoths (1-0)

Cleveland Cruciatus (1-0)

Providence Griffins (1-0)

Washington Ministry (1-0)

Miami Goblins (0-1)

Virginia Werewolves (0-1)

North Division

Boston Leviathans (1-0)

New Jersey Wyverns (1-0)

Philadelphia Thestrals (1-0)

Columbus Pixies (0-1)

Indiana Slughorns (0-1)

New York Dragons (0-1)

South Division

Houston Horcurxes (1-0)

Jacksonville Jinx (1-0)

Louisville Phantoms (1-0)

Birmingham War Pigs (0-1)

Nashville Basilisks (0-1)

South Carolina Black Cocks (0-1)

West Division

Denver Dementors (1-0)

Idaho Yeti (1-0)

Los Angeles Undead (1-0)

New Mexico Marauders (0-1)

San Antonio Centaurs (0-1)

Seattle Vampires (0-1)

National Conference

East Division

Orlando Black Magic (1-0)

Dallas Hippogriffs (1-0)

Cincinnati Redcaps (0-1)

Minnesota Wormtails (0-1)

Oklahoma Orcs (0-1)

St. Louis Serpents (0-1)

North Division

Detroit Alicorns (1-0)

Kansas City Inferi (1-0)

Milwaukee Death Eaters (1-0)

Chicago Fire Crabs (0-1)

Pittsburgh Poltergeists (0-1)

Syracuse Silurians (0-1)

South Division

Charlotte Hallows (1-0)

New Orleans Nightwings (1-0)

Tampa Bay Trolls (1-0)

Atlanta Owls (0-1)

Memphis Mandrakes (0-1)

Raleigh-Durham Willows (0-1)

West Division

Arizona Phoenixes (1-0)

Portland Parselmouths (1-0)

San Francisco Seers (1-0)

Las Vegas Night Elves (0-1)

San Diego Snatchers (0-1)

Utah Fiendfyre (0-1)

International Conference

Europe Division

Liverpool Beetles (1-0)

London Chimeras (1-0)

Marseille Sphinxes (1-0)

Rome Fairies (1-0)

Milan Witchhunters (0-1)

Paris Veela (0-1)

Japan Division

Hiroshima Hibagon (1-0)

Kyoto Kappa (1-0)

Nagoya Nue (1-0)

Tokyo Tengu (1-0)

Yokohama Yokai (1-0)

Osaka Oni (0-1)

North America Division

Mexico City Chupacabras (1-0)

Monterrey Cadejos (1-0)

Montreal Manticores (0-1)

Ottawa Storm Hawks (0-1)

Toronto Salamanders (0-1)

Vancouver Grindylows (0-1)

Oceania Division

Sydney Yowies (1-0)

Adelaide Bunyips (0-1)

Auckland Moa (0-1)

Brisbane Dirawongs (0-1)

Melbourne Minka Birds (0-1)

Perth Wagyls (0-1)

Tune back in for Game 2!