The Gift of Celebration
Chapter 8
"A dread hath come on me,
I know not where to flee,
My pow'rs can nought avail me;
My trembling limbs grow weak,
My lips refuse to speak,
My heart and senses fail me:"
Catherine Winkworth
Sarek greeted everyone as he sat and motioned to the waiter and he came over with his padd to take their order. "We would like high tea for eight today," he told the waiter. "Where is Mr. Roberts today? He usually attends us."
"Mr. Roberts is in the kitchen today, Ambassador. Our usual chef took ill, so Mr. Roberts took over."
"I see." Sarek said. He turned to the others, "Mr. Roberts is from England. He and his wife and family own this restaurant and we enjoy coming here for High Tea. I confess that I have acquired a preference for clotted cream and the assorted pastries that are served at High Tea."
Amanda smiled. "Sarek has a sweet tooth, although he won't admit it," she said teasingly. "He says it is illogical to prefer sweet things that contain less nutritional value over savory foods that have much more nutritional value. What do you think of that, Peter?"
"Peter grinned. ""Noni is a good baker, so I like sweet things better too," he said looking over at his grandmother.
Winona smiled her radiant smile right back at him. They were in complete accord in their liking of sweet things.
"Me too," said Jim.
"Me three," said McCoy.
"Then we must be sure there is a large choice of sweet choices," Sarek's smooth voice contained a hint of humor as he nodded to the waiter.
"Were you able to gain any information from the interviews today?" he asked.
"We did, Sarek, although I'm not sure how helpful the information will be, we have no names yet, but we did get some very good descriptions of three separate individuals. I'm sending them on to Gavin so he can look through the SIS data bases. Gavin told me that SIS also has access to intelligence data bases from many worlds, so I hope we get lucky. It'll take time though," said Jim impatiently.
"Father, did your staff have any information that we can add to what we have?"
"It was as I thought, Spock. My staff has heard some gossip, but discounted it and did not repeat it to me because they deemed it unimportant. I asked them to prepare a detailed report for me and have it ready for tomorrow and I will share it with you."
The waiter returned with trays laden with food on a trolley. He set two large tea pots on the table and the plates and utensils by each person's place. He carefully put the trays equidistant from each other in the middle and handed Amanda and Winona large serving spoons. In front of Winona and Amanda, he set down small plates with 3 beautifully decorated and tiny short bread cookies for each. "These are for the Mothers only, compliments from Mr. Roberts," he said. He arranged the tea cups and saucers by each person, looked at Sarek to see if everything was to his satisfaction and when Sarek nodded, he left. The trays held many choices; there were scones, lemon curd, Devonshire cream, chocolate covered strawberries, lemon cookies, poppy-seed bread, egg salad and cucumber sandwiches, chicken salad sandwiches for the non vegetarians, and of course tea. Winona and Amanda served the tea and everyone's choices of food, and all agreed that everything was delicious.
Winona said, "I'm going to try a little of everything, it's all so beautifully prepared." She took one of the short bread cookie and bit into it. "I love short bread, "she said, as she bit into the cookie. She stopped suddenly. "Jim," she said a little wildly, her golden eyes wide and frightened. Her hand came up and fluttered toward his; every bit of color left her face and she collapsed. Only Spock's lightning fast reflexes prevented her fall to the floor.
"Ma! Ma!" Jim, terribly alarmed at her sudden collapse, leaped from his chair to get to her. "Bones, Bones, what's the matter with her?" He scrambled over to his mother. She lay unconscious in Spock's arms and he lowered her gently to the floor, cradling her head and shoulders. Jim knelt by her, "Ma, Ma, wake up," he patted her face gently.
"Jim, she cannot hear you," Spock spoke softly, his hands gentle on her head and shoulders.
McCoy pulled out his medical tricorder and ran it over her. He paled. "Poison," he said tightly. "We need to get her to the hospital now; there's no time to lose, her vitals are failing!"
Jim blanched at Bones' words. "Bones do something, help her!"
McCoy pulled on his physician façade. He had to be a doctor and not a friend if he was going to help Winona. He couldn't let emotion cloud his reactions and his judgment. "I will Jim, but we can't do anything here, everything that can be done has to be done at the hospital. I don't know what to tell you right now, except that the poison is affecting her central nervous system."
Jim's fingers trembled as he touched his mother's face. She was ice cold and still as death. She was barely breathing. Amanda knelt beside her, loosened her blouse and chafed her cold hands.
T'Lane heard Peter whimper in distress. "My Noni," he whispered, and she reached over, put her arm around him and held him close to her side.
Sarek pulled out his communicator. "Transporter Central. This is Ambassador Sarek, Code 548 SST, Emergency beam in to Vulcan Central Hospital from these coördinates. Notify them that the patient is a human female and that she has been poisoned. There are three to beam in, two humans, one Vulcan." He turned to T'Lane, his voice tight. "Have Transporter Central beam in Amanda, James, Spock and Peter to the hospital in 30 seconds, then pilot the shuttle to the hospital, we may need it later."
"Yes, Sarek."
Bones turned to Spock and Jim. "You all bring all her food and drink, and those cookies, Amanda's too. We'll have to analyze everything to see what kind of poison it is and if it was ingested, inhaled or through contact."
Jim and Spock started gathering up her plate, utensils, cup, saucer, food and drink. Jim looked around for the waiter to ask for a container, but he had disappeared. T'Lane got out her satchel, pulled out the papers in it and they dumped everything in and Spock put it over his shoulder.
Sarek picked Winona up in his arms and he and McCoy disappeared in the familiar silvery whine of the transporter beam.
People in the restaurant were beginning to notice there was something wrong and the noise level rose with voices asking questions, demanding to know what had happened. Jim reached over for Peter and picked him up in his arms. T'Lane spoke softly into her communicator. "Beam in to the hospital in 10 seconds," she told them. "I will follow in the shuttle."
Amanda's face was pale as she stood close by Spock. Jim held Peter tightly in his arms as the transporter beam took them and they materialized in the hospital lobby.
Jim put Peter down and ran to receptionist. "Where is Ambassador Sarek," he asked. "I'm Captain Kirk, my mother has been admitted here."
"Captain Kirk," the calm and impassive Vulcan receptionist said, "we were expecting you. Follow me please." She led them down a corridor to the Emergency Room area. Sarek was there speaking with a Vulcan male in hospital scrubs. "Ah, here is Captain Kirk and my son with the food and beverages."
Spock took the satchel from his shoulders and gave it to the Vulcan healer who took it quickly through the double doors.
"Sarek, how is she?" Jim asked, his voice hoarse with worry.
"I do not know, James. Dr. McCoy is with her as are several other Vulcan healers and one other human doctor. I do not have more information yet. They need more information from you about your mother's general health, age, and other vital statistics."
"Yes, of course," Jim ran his hand through his hair trying to stay calm. He handed Peter over to Spock and went to speak with the Vulcan healer who came back through the double doors. Amanda and Spock could hear his low voice as he answered questions. The Vulcan nodded and typed into his padd as Jim talked. When they finished, he disappeared again through the swinging doors.
They sat down to wait and Jim came over to join them. He pulled Peter over to him, put his arms around him and held him close. Peter sat on one knee and clutched Jim's hands tightly. No one spoke. There was deep anxiety vibrating in the very air around them and even the normally impassive Vulcan faces of Spock and Sarek looked anxious.
Jim's body felt rigid, brittle like ice. His heart was like a stone in his chest, tight, heavy, and thudding violently against his ribs. Nothing, no cloud creatures, no torture or crazed demi-gods, no Romulans or Klingons, had ever caused this deep bone fear in him. It crawled through his whole body in waves. His belly roiled with it. From out of nowhere he remembered part of a poem he'd once read:
"This is the Hour of Lead –
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –
First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go." 1
To think that someone had tried to kill his gentle, loving mother was incomprehensible to him. She, who by her very presence, made the world a happier, better place for everyone she came in contact with. It made no sense. Sensing his deep distress, Spock moved closer. Warmth radiated from his body as he sat touching Jim, shoulder to shoulder in support.
"Jim," he said quietly, "let me have Peter. I will hold him."
"No." Jim didn't even turn his head.
Time crawled. One hour, two. Peter put his head down in the curve of Jim's shoulder, snuggled in, closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Amanda came and stood in front of Jim with a steaming hot cup of coffee. He took it, but he didn't drink. He knew he would throw up if he drank anything so he put it under his chair.
T'Lane came in and sat down to wait with them. "The shuttle is in the parking garage, Sarek. Is there any news?"
"None," said Sarek.
Vaguely, Jim felt someone come sit beside him and he felt cool fingers making soothing gentle circles on his back and neck. He was unsurprised to see Uhura sitting beside him. "Jim, Spock let me know about Winona. I wanted to be here with you, so Scotty told me to come. Please let me hold Peter for you," Uhura said softly, looking at the sleeping child. "You must be very tired."
"No, thank you, Uhura." He finally turned his head and Uhura saw the anguish and fear in his hazel eyes. "Peter has to stay with me," he muttered, his voice rough and tense with suppressed emotion.
A nurse came out of the double doors and walked over to them. "Captain Kirk?"
Jim stood, his heart racing madly with dread; he carefully put Peter over his shoulder, his arms tight around the child. "I'm James Kirk. How is my mother?" It took everything that he was in him to keep his voice steady.
"Dr. McCoy asked me to come out to tell you that your mother is still in very critical condition, but she's fighting hard. He said to tell you these exact words," and here her voice lowered and her eyes turned inward as she recited McCoy's exact words, "your mama is a fighter, Jim, and she's holding on. Don't give up on her."
"I don't, I won't," Jim whispered. He blinked rapidly, eyes burning with sudden unshed tears.
She went back through the double doors and they all sat down again.
Three hours, four hours. The double doors opened again and McCoy came out. He was wearing scrubs and he looked exhausted and drained.
"Jim."
Jim stood up slowly with Peter still in his arms; Spock and Uhura moved in close to stand by his side. Jim looked straight into Bones' compassionate blue eyes and steeled himself.
McCoy drew in a deep breath, swaying a little on his feet from fatigue. "It's still touch and go, Jim, but she's fighting hard and hangin' in there. On the plus side, we've identified the poison. It's called Zintaba, and it's a plant native to Betazed. The roots are what are deadly, they're ground up and made into a highly lethal poison. It's tasteless, and works very quickly. It's also a neuro toxin which is why it's so hard to come back from its effects. The good thing is that she ingested very little. We tested all the food; it was in the short bread and she only took a small bite. There is an antidote, but the poison is so rare that we've had to make the antidote here. The healers have been in contact with Betazed and they got the formula and they've made it here in the labs. These people are amazingly efficient and fast. We've had her on full life support and in stasis until the antidote starts workin'. We're giving her the antidote in a drip, drop by drop and filtering her blood at the same time. It's a very slow process." He put a compassionate hand on Jim's arm. "Your mama is in great health and she's strong, both mentally and physically, so I don't want you to give up hope, you hear me Jim?" Blue eyes glared piercingly into hazel ones and McCoy gripped Jim's shoulder hard.
Shesaliveshesaliveshsslalive, his mind stuttered. "I hear you, Bones," he whispered.
"Good, we're fightin' tooth and nail in there to save her. Do you wanna' come in to see her for a minute? You can talk to her and it may help her to hear your voice."
Jim nodded. He carefully handed the sleeping Peter over to Spock to hold. The little boy didn't even stir, he was so deeply asleep. He followed Bones through the double doors and through a hallway. There was absolute silence as they walked through the hall, Bones keeping a tight grip on Jim's arm, as they walked. McCoy could feel Jim's bunched tight muscles beneath his fingers and the tension radiating from him.
They went through another set of doors and suddenly Jim saw Winona. His mother was in a hospital gown with a light white blanket covering her lower body. The room was eerie in its unrelentless whiteness and quietness. The hushed silence was pierced with an occasional beep from one of the many monitors and he could hear the low humming of machinery. The stasis field glowed softly all around her and there were bio nodes attached to her head, her arms, and her chest. There were two drips working on either side of her. Jim, a veteran of too many ship board sick bay visits, automatically checked the heart bio feed and saw it was beating slowly and steadily. Winona's lovely face looked peaceful and serene and her long dark hair was a nimbus around her. Her arms and hands lay free on top of the white blanket. There was a Vulcan nurse sitting in a chair against the wall by the bio feeds, constantly monitoring the read outs. Jim drew in a deep steadying breath and turned to McCoy.
"Can I touch her, Bones?"
"Yeah, just put your hand through the field. You won't mess anythin' up. I'll be over by the window. Give you some privacy."
Jim reached through the stasis field and picked up his mother's hand. It was such a small hand; yet so strong, so competent. He swallowed hard tying to dislodge the lump in his throat. "Ma, it's Jim," he said softly. His thumb stroked her hand gently, up and down, up and down. Her skin felt soft, smooth and dry. "You're in the hospital, Ma. Bones is here with you, we're all here; me, Peter, Spock, Sarek, Amanda, T'Lane and even Uhura came down from the ship. We've been very worried about you, but you're going to be all right; Bones says so and he knows. Ma, please, please, you have to fight this. Peter and I can't do without you. You're the one who holds our family together." He swallowed hard. Underneath his thumb, he suddenly felt a tiny movement and then her fingers closed gently around his thumb.
"Bones," he hissed. "Get over here, she moved her hand."
McCoy checked the bio monitors and looked down at Winona's hand; at her fingers curled around Jim's thumb. "Well I'll be damned." He grinned at Jim, his fatigue dropping off him like water off a duck; there was a gratified gleam in his blue eyes. "That's amazin', Jim. It's the first time she's moved since we started the antidote. That's real progress. Never underestimate the power of a mother's love. She's not outta the woods yet, but she's gonna' get through this, you'll see."
Jim felt warmth fill his body like a tide, replacing the icy feeling that had been in him for hours. Hope surged in his heart.
Bones patted the broad golden back. "Ok, that's enough for now. Don't wanna' tax her central nervous system too much. You go back to the waitin' room and I'll come update you in a while. You might want to tell everyone to go home, though I doubt they'll go. It's gonna' be a few more hours before we're totally out of the woods. Go on now."
Jim nodded and reluctantly released his hand from Winona's fingers. He cast one last wistful glance over his shoulder at her before he walked out of her room back to the waiting group.
"She's improving; Bones says it will be slow, the antidote is being given to her drop by drop through a drip," he told them. He smiled softly. "She grasped my hand, it's as if she knew I was there."
"Of course she did," Uhura's gentle voice told him. She gave him a small hug.
Jim looked around at the tired faces. "Sarek, why don't you have T'Lane take you, Peter, Spock and Amanda home? There's no use in all of us losing sleep and waiting and Amanda, you're looking very tired."
"I will stay here with you, Jim," Spock said. His voice brooked no arguments.
"I'll stay too," Uhura said. She pulled out her communicator. "I'm going to update the command crew," she said moving away from the group.
Sarek looked at the drawn tired face of his wife and acquiesced. "Very well, James. T'Lane will take us home, and then come back here and wait with you."
"No need for that, Sarek. I'll comm you when we're ready to leave the hospital."
"Captain Kirk, I would like to come back and wait with you if I may," T'Lane told him.
Jim looked at the distress she was trying unsuccessfully to hide. "All right, T'Lane, if you're sure, thank you. Bones says it'll be a few hours yet before they know anything definite. But as soon as she's in the clear, the first thing I'm going to do is go back to the restaurant and talk to that waiter."
"I will do that James. No need for you to take the time away from your mother. Mr. Roberts is an old acquaintance of mine; he is a good man. He will help us all he can to get to the bottom of this. I will also notify the Vulcan authorities. There will be an investigation of course."
Jim looked startled for a minute. "Yes, of course, there will have to be an investigation. It's attempted murder. Spock, would you please comm and update Admiral Nogura about what happened?"
"Of course, Captain. I will update the Admiral and tell him you will speak with him later."
Jim sighed. He was so tired. He knew it was emotional exhaustion and not physical, but it still felt as if soon he wasn't going to be able to put one foot in front of the other. "I need to talk to Gavin too, he needs to know what happened to Ma; he'll let Violet know. I also need to tell Father Joe so he can tell the rest of the Riverside folks."
Amanda came over and gave him a gentle hug and a kiss on the cheek. "I'll put Peter in your bed, Jim, and I'll sleep in the other bed. I won't leave him alone for a minute."
"Thank you, Amanda." Jim gave her a tired smile. "When he wakes up, tell him his Noni is doing better; he was very frightened. He can come back to the hospital after breakfast."'
Spock, still carrying Peter over his shoulder, walked to the exterior doors with them. He handed Peter over to Sarek. The child opened his eyes when he felt different arms go around him, but closed them again almost immediately, still in deep sleep.
"Spock, see if you can get Jim to eat or drink something. He looks very stressed and exhausted." Amanda mindful of the sleeping Peter spoke softy.
"I will do my best, Mother, but it will be difficult. It's a behavior pattern with the Captain. Dr. McCoy and I do our best, but Jim seldom eats anything when he is stressed or overtired, and the only thing he will drink is coffee. You saw earlier that he wouldn't even drink that tonight."
Spock had his own ideas (that he would not share with his parents) about the why of Jim's behavior. He and McCoy had discussed it at length; they thought that Jim's inability to eat in times of great stress or danger went back to his time on Tarsus. During his time there as a young boy, before rescue had come, famine, great stress, starvation and deprivation had been the norm for Jim, and now those triggers were inextricably wound up in his psyche. Sometimes his reaction went the other way. When Jim was relaxed and happy he tended to over eat. During those times, McCoy was always diligent about even an extra pound of weight on him. It was not really an eating disorder, or Jim would not have passed his many psyche evaluations before becoming a Captain, but it was something to watch. In their capacity as CMO and First Officer, the Captain's good health, both physical and mental, was the one thing the two always agreed about.
"Just try your best, Spock."
"I will, Mother. I will see you both in the morning."
Spock walked back to the waiting area and saw Uhura sitting beside Jim and speaking softly to Jim. As he drew close, he heard Jim say, "I can't, Nyota, a drink would choke me right now. Maybe in a little while."
"All right, Jim. Maybe later."
Spock caught Uhura's eye in understanding as he sat on the other side next to Jim. It was almost midnight; it had been more than six hours since Winona's collapse.
McCoy came through the doors again. "Things are better, Jim boy. She's responding well to the antidote. Her color's better, and her vital signs have improved. She's gonna' make it. We'll keep her in stasis another hour or so, and then let her system start taking over. I don't mind sayin' it was touch and go for a while, but now I can say for sure, she's gonna be fine." His blue eyes were bright with happiness as he met Jim's.
Jim blinked back his sudden rush of tears of relief and reached over and hugged his friend hard. "Thank you,, Bones," he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. "I know she wouldn't have made it without you. There aren't words enough to thank you for saving her life."
"Aww kid." McCoy patted Jim's shoulders awkwardly. "I had a lot of help; these Vulcan doctors are amazing. You can see your mama again in a little while. Let's get her out of stasis and settled in a regular bed and you can come in and sit with her." He pinched the bridge of his nose and yawned. " I gotta' get back in there now, maybe get a couple of hours sleep while I sit there." He grinned happily at Jim and went back through the doors, his walk jaunty.
Jim, feeling as if he'd been holding his breath most of the night, took a deep shaky breath. "I'll go comm Gavin now. I'll be right back."
Uhura looked at Spock. "He'll be all right now. Thank God Winona's going to be fine. I don't know what Jim or Peter would have done if she hadn't pulled through."
"That is a thought not to be entertained," said Spock firmly.
1 Emily Dickenson "After Great Pain A Formal Feeling Comes"
