Ch. 8 - Confessions and Epiphanies
A/N: So I looked in the mirror. My hair isn't blonde and my eyes are still brown. That means I'm not JK Rowling. Carry on. - DG
Ron apparated into the Granger's backyard at half-seven. Hermione stayed the night before at the hospital with her Mum. He wanted to stay up there too but she shoved him out the door and told him to go home and get some sleep. He knew she was running on fumes. Hermione was good at it but there was a cost later on when she would come down sick from exhaustion. That part of Hermione hadn't changed since she was a child.
He couldn't tell her not to do it. Mum was worth it, his or hers.
He tossed and turned half the night, missing her soft snoring when she rolled onto her back. He missed that she would snuggle into his side halfway through the night when she got cold under the blankets. He even missed that she would wake him with a gentle kiss and a cup of tea on the side table in the morning.
He missed her terribly.
Knock, Knock, Knock.
Robert appeared at the door looking better this morning than the night before. "Ron, it's nice of you to come to get me. Have you eaten?"
"I had a cuppa and a piece of toast. That's not breakfast." His stomach grumbled in agreement.
"We'll get a cook-up at the hospital. I had it yesterday morning and for cafeteria food it's not bad."
"I sure hope so. I'm famished this morning. Mum fed me sandwiches and crisps when I stopped by to visit the kids last night but it was enough. I think I ate a whole bag of vinegar crisps along with four pastrami and cheese sandwiches. Say what you will but the butcher in Ottery St. Catchpole knows his deli meats."
Robert looked sideways from the collection of papers he had on the countertop. "Your mum feeds you so well. How does she do it when you have a hollow leg?"
"I dunno how they did it while we were growing up. Mum always had enough on the table for us kids. We might have had threadbare trousers and darned socks but she made sure we had enough to eat. What we lacked in stuff Mum and Dad more than made up for it in other ways." Ron picked up and apple and took a huge bite. That would suffice until he could get breakfast. "When Hermione and I got together, she couldn't feed me enough there for a while. She'd pile my plate high – or Mum would – but I'd still get seconds and thirds. She'd get so mad sometimes. When Hermione would work late I'd get dinner with Mum and Dad. When Hermione wasn't in the mood to cook something we'd go over there. The last couple of weeks that first summer I ate everything in sight. At least we did once we returned to England."
Robert was looking at his important papers in front of him. His cup of tea was untouched while he was reading. "I never did ask how much weight you had lost. I know when we first saw you in Australia that both of you looked like prison camp refugees."
Ron finished his apple and threw the core in the rubbish bin. "I dunno but it might have been two stone worth. It was pretty bad out there for a while and Hermione did what she could to keep us fed. You can only do so much with mushrooms and scavenged items. You should have seen us when we arrived at my brother's place that night in March. Even after a month of eating my sister in law's cooking we were still painfully thin. We looked better when you saw us in June.
"Harry and I got our weight back fast enough. Triple helpings from Mum and at Training camp did the trick. By Christmas we were back to almost normal. Hermione wasn't so lucky. Harry and I didn't know that she hadn't been eating until after we had been at Bill's a while. Fleur coaxed her to eat and once she did she put on a little weight. Then she had the row with Mum and quit eating again. Two weeks took all of the weight off of her and then more."
"Well that would partially explain why she fell out in Australia."
Ron ran his hand through his hair. That nightmare still plagued him on rare occasions.
"We thought things would be better once she went back to school and had a regular schedule. That was bloody stupid on my part. I never put it together but my sister Ginny did. Harry and I didn't know the smell of meat made her sick 'til Ginny said something in a letter when they were back at school. Ginny went barmy over it, cornered the headmaster and they put a stop to it." Ron picked up a second apple and looked at it. He put it back in the fruit bowl. "So much happened their last year of school – things that Hermione, nor Ginny – and especially Luna – won't talk about. But when I saw her that Christmas she was looking a little healthier."
"My days in OCS for the Royal Navy were that bad. The food was rubbish. I think I dropped that much in four months. When we got back to shore from our training voyage I put away enough to feed your family for a week."
"That's impossible," Ron snorted. "All of us ate like hippogriffs, especially my sister. By the time Mum would come sit down to eat the plates were mostly empty. The only rule was that we couldn't nick off Mum's dinner. Dad made sure of it. The one time Charlie did – I think he took a buttered parsnip off her plate – Dad yelled at him for a good five minutes. Needless to say that never happened again."
Robert finished shuffling his papers into an accordion folder. "Well, I'm glad you're here to help. I'd be lost otherwise. It's a wonder I know how to tie the laces on my trainers in the morning much less do anything important."
"I'm glad we can help. There's nothing we wouldn't do for family."
"I know. I'm thankful for it." Robert put a hand on Ron's arm and squeezed. "Are you ready to ride over to the hospital? It's only a five minute drive from here."
"Are you sure? I can apparated us over. It's not a problem."
"Absolutely. I know you prefer using magic but it's hard on an old man's bones."
"You look healthy as an ox to me."
"So did Jean and look what happened."
Ron grimaced. "Point taken."
The men made their way out to the driveway. Ron got into the late model Range Rover. "Nice car Dr. Granger."
"It was Jean's idea. She said if we were driving from here to your place in Cardiff we should have something comfortable. I just think she wanted something safer when the grandkids were over."
"You know you are always welcome at our house."
Robert turned and looked at his son-in-law. "I've never had a problem visiting. The problem has been Jean. She's the one who keeps grudges and it's been hard on all of us. I'm glad Hermione is strong enough to put up with her mum so the grandkids can spend time with us. I'd hate to have missed out on their lives."
"Hermione wouldn't have had it any other way. I also like to think that rowing with me all these years toughened her skin enough to deal with her Mum. It hurts her and she hides it from the kids as best as she can but I can tell."
"I hope things don't go back to how they were after this."
"So I said to the waiter, 'I asked for penne and not linguine.' You'd think someone who works in an Italian restaurant would know their pastas."
"I hope that wasn't Antonio's in Soho. Hermione loves going there with the kids when she has to work late."
"It wasn't Antonio's. The place I was talking about is up around the corner from the hospital. Mamma Mia's normally is fantastic but we might have gotten a new waiter that night. He looked like he needed to still be on his mum's apron strings."
The men walked into the room and stopped immediately. Hermione was sitting on the edge of a hard chair with her head and shoulders on the white blankets of the bed, sobbing. In her left hand was her mum's left hand while Jean was using her other hand to run her fingers through her daughter's hair.
"Jean?" Robert said, barely above a whisper.
She slowly turned her head to the door and smiled through the vent tubes. She took her hand off of her daughter's head and crooked her finger at him. He took two strides to his wife's side and knelt next to the bed.
"I know you can't talk yet but how are you?"
Jean lifted her hand and gave a so-so shake of her hand.
"You want me to call the nurse to let them know?"
She raised her thumb in approval.
Robert checked the bedclothes and found the red button controller.
"Here. You do it. You've earned it."
He handed it to her and she pressed the button hard.
"Nurse's Station," a clipped voice came through the intercom on the wall.
"This is Jean Granger's room. She's awake."
"We'll be down shortly."
Robert looked up at his wife and saw the soft green eyes. Tears were in there but so was a smile. "Did Hermione wake you?"
She lightly shook her head.
He looked over at his daughter settling into weeping on the bed. Her husband was kneeling at her side whispering softly in her ear while rubbing his large hand between her shoulders over the jumper.
Jean moved her hand back to her daughter's head and laid it gently on her unruly mop of hair. Robert joined in with her, interlacing his fingers with his wife.
The room was quiet once again. Hermione's stomach roiled from the turbulent emotions of the last twelve hours. Exhaustion pulled at her but she was accustomed to running on short sleep. She stepped out while the nurse was in the room. She wanted to wash her face and find a cup of coffee to keep her going. The nurse left before she returned and she insisted that her father and husband go get breakfast downstairs. They didn't quibble at her request but insisted that she eat something too once they returned. She didn't have the heart to tell them no.
"Mum? Are you still awake?"
Jean turned her head towards Hermione on the couch. She nodded softly.
"I have my tablet I got for Christmas. It has a typing feature on it. If I handed it to you do you think you could use it? I know you have questions. I can see it on your face."
Jean nodded once again. Hermione opened her overnight bag and pulled out the charmed electronic device, powering it up. She cleared the screen of her legal papers and work documents to a clear notepad. She walked over and handed her mum the device.
Hermione still stayed arm's length from her mum. Jean lifted her eyebrow. "I can't get any closer than this since you're still hooked up to the vent and monitors. If I did it would short circuit them."
Jean looked down at the tablet in front of her face. Another puzzled look crossed her face.
"Ron's dad is a whiz. He charmed the tablet to work around magic. He's tried to make modern cell phones work but it's just too delicate. I already fried Dad's yesterday by accident."
Knock Knock. "Mrs. Granger?"
Lord Echlin walked in with a cadre of residents and students in tow. "Mrs. Granger? I'm Lord Echlin, Chief Cardiologist at the hospital."
Jean smiled with her eyes up at the doctor.
"Hermione, it's so good to see you. How are you?"
"I'm exhausted but thankful that Mum woke this morning."
"I'm excited to see that." He turned back to Mrs. Granger in the bed. "You were brought in two days ago in the middle of a heart attack. It's a miracle that we were able to save you."
Jean lifted the tablet in her hand and slowly typed out something for the doctor to see. Lord Echlin laughed. "You astound me Mrs. Granger. That certainly was a contributing factor to your survival."
The doctor turned to Hermione who looked puzzled. "Your mum took aspirin the morning of her heart attack. That explains why she was able to hold on until we could get a catheter in her and get started."
The door opened and Robert and Ron walked in. "Ah, Dr. Granger. Who is this gentleman with you? Would this be the esteemed Ron Weasley?"
Ron's ears flushed red but he didn't answer. "Lord Echlin, Chief of Cardiology. My son went to the same boarding school in Scotland his last two years. The first year he hated for obvious reasons and the second was a completely different experience. Your wife and her friends had much influence in his dramatic change."
"Ron, you remember I mentioned Kasey in the letters I sent home, right? He and Luna are close friends."
"Ah, yeah. Wait? Kasey Echlin's your son? He's a whiz for us in the department."
"That's him."
"He's been dead helpful for us." Ron put his hand out to shake his hand. "I'm glad he works for us."
Lord Echlin smiled further. "I'm glad he's a help."
Lord Echlin turned back to the bed. "Jean, we're going to run some tests today and make sure you're ready to come off the vent. While you were on the operating table we put in some stents to keep your veins open. We want to make sure your heart and lungs are ready to work on their own again."
Mum typed out more questions on the tablet. She lifted the tablet where the doctor could see her question.
"If you improve like you have been, a few more days. We don't want you back here unless it's a social visit. You're extremely fortunate. It's a wonder that we're having a conversation."
Jean typed out more words then showed the doctor. He took off his glasses to wipe them. Ron knew that move since Dad did it often. He replaced them quickly. "If you don't know, your daughter helped save my son's life. Her and her friends made all the difference his last year at school. I'm honored to know her and you as well. So get well and we'll talk tomorrow."
The cadre of doctors left leaving the family quiet. Robert stroked his wife's hand that was in his own. A puzzled look was on his face. "What does he mean, Hermione, when he said you saved his son's life?"
Hermione looked at her husband before turning her parents. She waited while he closed the door and sealed it. "After the fighting ended, Harry and Ron crashed. I couldn't sleep so I got up and found Luna in the Great Hall. Ginny, Luna, Dean Thomas and I went searching the castle. Since the fighting was everywhere we had to make sure no one was overlooked or missed.
"We checked the Hufflepuff common room along with the Slytherin room as well. They were completely clear. We knew about Gryffindor tower since the survivors stayed in there too – those who stayed. Then we walked to the last dorm tower – Ravenclaw tower. Sure enough it hadn't been checked."
Hermione took a deep breath before continuing. "The Carrows were gone from the tower when we got there but no one checked up in the dorms. Unlike Gryffindor tower which was pretty much unscathed, Ravenclaw tower was different. We found wanton destruction on each floor. But what we didn't anticipate was finding a dead Death Eater at the third landing and Kasey Echlin standing fierce watch for the floors above.
"I sent Dean and Ginny to the hospital ward to tell them that they might more casualties coming in. For Kasey, it took me and Luna a good hour for him to lower his wand. Once he did we found that he was the only barrier to the third floor dorm room which had about 20 underage students in there. They were trapped in the tower and hadn't escaped in time. When we checked him he had curse damage and other extensive injuries. He collapsed on Dean and with Luna's help they got him to the hospital wing straightaway and saved his life.
"That's what Lord Echlin was referring to. He saved all those kids lives and we saved his the next year."
Jean typed out something on the tablet and handed it to Robert. "I didn't know either. There's plenty we don't know."
"Why don't we sit down and I can talk? But first, I could use a cup of tea."
Ron got up and went for the door. "I'll get it. Be right back."
Hermione settled in to start telling her story after the fighting ended at Hogwarts.
The room was quiet except for the beeping machines. The men left a little while ago to have a late lunch. She told them before they left that she might consider eating something if it was vegetarian. She forgot to eat her gingered broccoli last night and passed on the rock hard scones they brought up from the canteen downstairs. Mum waking up broke the stress she had and she was finally hungry. She knew in three days she would be home, in the bed, sick.
Seeing Mum awake this morning was worth it.
She saw movement out of the corner of her eye. Mum was waving to her from the bed. She went to her and brought the tablet with her. Hermione handed her mum the tablet. "You're awake again. You dozed off during the tedious part of my story."
Sorry. Didn't mean to.
"It's fine. Cleaning houses for other people is boring for the most part. If you knew now how bad Harry's brownstone over in Islington was trashed you'd cringe. You didn't need to know how terribly messy and cluttered Percy's flat was either. It's also a good thing you don't know how mean and ugly I was to George in those days either."
I heard you talking.
"When was this? Just now when I was talking about the summer after the end of the fighting?"
I remember a flying horse. Guess it was early this morning.
"You didn't hear about me turning into a cat, did you?"
No but I'd like to hear that. sure it's funny now.
"How much did you hear?
everything from the flying horse. I didn't know.
Hermione gave her mum a serious look. "How could you know if I never trusted enough to tell you?"
Scared of knowing. Frightened of your gifts. Couldn't understand.
"Why didn't you say anything earlier? Why carry this grudge so long?"
Hermione watched her mum type out her answers slowly.
Jealous pride got in way. upset you weren't little girl any longer. Mad I couldn't protect you. Angry you're so amazing – nothing to do with me. Bitter you are better woman.
"Why now?" Hermione sounded shell-shocked, barely talking above a whisper. "What happened? Why do you have the change of heart?"
Did I die?
"Dad did CPR on you before the paramedics got there. Somehow they got you restarted and you crashed again on the table. The doctors got you started again and kept your heart going."
Saw things I can't explain. Realized hurt you horribly. Forgive me?
"I did years ago. I've been waiting for you to forgive yourself."
Hermione saw one lone tear trickle out. Hermione choked down the bezor in her throat. One of her own joined it, on a parallel journey separated by the wards. Hermione reached her hand out and held her mum's elbow.
One question tickled her mind, compelling her to ask, "What are you going to do with the rest of your life, now that you have been given a second chance?"
Hermione watched her mum think. She knew the look on her face since she saw the same look in the mirror every morning. 'Like mother, like daughter,' she thought.
Jean slowly typed out her reply. Make things right. Wasted too much time and missed so much.
Hermione watched two more tears leak out of her mum's eyes. Hermione took her mum's hands in her own, pressing them into her cheek.
Jean pulled her hands back and slowly typed on the pad, Hug me please.
"I can't yet. If I get any closer I'll short out your machines. When you're off of them I promise."
When?
"I hope it's later today. But you'll still be here a few more days to recover and make sure nothing else happens."
Silly to be so tired. Did nothing today.
Hermione smiled. "Oh I know. I had about 2 weeks way back when I did nothing but sleep or get carried downstairs by Ron to eat or get fresh air."
He's good for you. Should have told him already.
"He knows. We've talked about it. He makes me a better person and he says the same about me."
I love you.
"I love you too Mum. Tired?"
Jean nodded.
"You go back to sleep then. I'm not going anywhere."
Jean reached her hand out and grasped both of Hermione's. A hard squeeze and she nestled back into the bed.
"Mum?"
Jean opened her tired eyes.
"I missed you."
Jean pointed at her chest before holding up two fingers.
Hermione understood completely.
"Ready when you are," Hermione said quietly.
The Pulmonologist was standing on the other side giving directions. Ron and Robert left some time ago because they didn't want to see the barbaric procedure called tube removal from Jean. According to the tests she was ready to get off the machine and start breathing on her own again.
Hermione saw her mother's green eyes. Fear, apprehension, trepidation – all were written plainly on her face. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Just focus on me."
The nurses worked efficiently to prepare her best. Hermione stood at her mum's hip holding her hand and her gaze. "We're ready."
The baritone voice of the doctor spoke up. "Jean, it's time to cough."
Hermione watched them work and shared her mum's painful tears. "Almost there," she heard the Pulmonologist say while they were doing the tube removal. Her eyes never left her Mum even with her hand aching terribly, close to breaking from her Jean's painful grip.
A short cough greeted her. "You did it," Hermione said emphatically.
She waited while the nurses fitted her with a nasal cannula. The oxygen she would get was a temporary measure, nothing more than a crutch until she was strong enough to not need it.
"I don't want that again." Jean smirked once they were finished getting her settled. "That bloody well hurt."
"Are you hurting Mrs. Granger?" the nurse inquired. "Do you need pain relief?"
"My throat is raw from the tubes. I don't fancy sounding like Shirley Bassey the rest of my life."
The nurses chuckled. "That's temporary. You'll have your normal voice back in a few days. Ice and plenty of rest will help it get better. But we'll give you some pain relievers if you would like."
"Can we wait? I can deal with a scratchy throat. I've slept enough."
"That's fine. Call us on the intercom when you want them. Don't wait too long for them though."
"I'll call after dinner then."
"Very good." Hermione watched the support staff leave the room. For moments it was just them. Hermione stepped closer and reached over the bed to hug her mum.
Beep Beep Beep
"The bloody hell is that noise?"
Hermione looked at the vitals monitor on the other side of the bed. She took a step back and the machine started working properly again. "I told you that would happen."
"Why didn't it happen before now?"
"That's how magic works. It's like a magnetic field. In here, I had to insulate the machines at a distance – and keep Ron and I away from them – so they wouldn't be affected. It worked – but it also meant that the closest I could get to holding you was holding your hands. Any closer and it could have hurt you by affecting the ventilator."
"Is that why you stayed closer to my feet? The proximity to them would – "
"I could have fried them out like Dad's cell phone. I couldn't and wouldn't take that risk."
Knock Knock Knock.
"Food Services. I have dinner for Mrs. Granger."
"Finally. I'm hungry."
Hermione grinned. "You sound like Ron." Hermione took the sliding tray table from the corner of the room and set it before her mum. She worked quickly laying out the items on the tray as her mum preferred. She saw a smile from Mum and knew she had it right.
Hermione took the lid off and frowned. "What is that?" She picked up the ticket on the tray: pureed chicken and gravy; green beans; creamed potatoes. She read further. "Doctor's orders: nothing harsh on her throat and no spices."
"I would have preferred a soup. Don't you have soup?" Jean croaked.
"My apologies. This was what was on the menu tonight."
"This pabulum will be the death of me." Jean turned her head towards her daughter who was preparing her dinner tray. "I never thought I'd admit to that – wanting Indian over hospital food. Even your father's favorite curry dish would taste better."
Hermione threw her head back in pure laughter. "I'll tell him that when he comes back in."
"Don't you dare!"
Hermione's laughter greeted Robert and Ron as they came into the room.
