Author's Note – You people are just too good to me. I love reading your reviews. They make me so happy. Just a quick side note. The money used in FF7 is referred to as gil. I have no idea what the equivalent value is of a gil, but I tried sticking to the shop prices in the game. For instance, a Restore materia cost between 600 and 750 gil and some weapons were thousands of gil, depending on where on the World Map you were. Cloud is by no means rich, but I could see him splurging on things he has a need for. Besides, he's due to receive half a million gil from Shinra for protecting Tifa.
Chapter 8 – Turned Inside Out
While the armored bus drove through the security gate, I followed behind it on Fenrir.
Tifa was wrapped around me from behind. I didn't know if it was the cold that made her cling to me so tightly or maybe she liked holding me this way. The pressure of her chest against my injured back felt incredibly good. Damn, even in the cold my hormones were raging.
As we took the road leading up the mountain, snow kept spraying from the bus's tires. I ducked a couple times to avoid it. But Tifa wasn't fast enough the second time and she got a mouthful of snow.
I laughed as she sputtered and then I decided to just pass the bus and drive in front of it to avoid Tifa getting clobbered with snow again.
About fifteen minutes later I pulled into Icicle Village. It still looked the same. With the Inn, some small shops and Professor Gast's laboratory. While I was here, I planned to replenish my stash of materia. Maybe the shop owner carried some Lightning or Poison. Hell, I'd take a Comet if he had it. What I really wanted was a Master Magic, but I couldn't afford it. And even if I could, I was pretty sure nobody in Icicle Village had anything like that.
I parked Fenrir in front of the boutique and removed my goggles as I waited for Tifa to dismount. When she started to walk away, I grabbed her by the arm. "Hey, hold on. Don't go wandering off."
"I was just going in the dress shop. Besides, what could possibly happen here in the middle of town?"
I didn't release her arm as I scanned the area. There were a lot of people walking around. "Anyone of these people could have been sent to kidnap you." I dismounted and led her by the arm into the boutique.
A plump, rosy-cheeked woman let out a howl when we walked in. "Tifa!"
I watched her suspiciously as she came out from behind her counter to give Tifa a friendly hug.
"I knew you'd come back. I saved the dress for you, of course."
"Thanks, Stella."
The woman turned to me, a little glint in her eye. "And who's this nice-looking, young man?"
"This is Cloud," Tifa told her.
"Cloud, Cloud…the name sounds very familiar. It's not a common name."
I gave her a half smile. "Maybe you remember me from a few months ago when I was here with my team. We got rid of the Shinra guards that were trying to take over the village."
The woman gasped and then clapped her hands with a laugh. "Yes, yes, I do remember. How could I possibly forget that wild hair?"
My hand automatically went up to smooth some of the spikes down alittle and I saw Tifa roll her eyes with a smile.
"You were trying to get to the Northern Crater," Stella continued. "I hope you were able to complete whatever mission sent you to that forsaken place."
"Yeah, things went…just as planned." That was far from the truth, but I didn't think it was necessary to share any details of AVALANCHE's final battle with Sephiroth in the Northern Crater.
Stella took Tifa's hand. "Well, shall we go try on that dress?"
When I started to follow them into the back, Tifa held up a hand for me to stop. "I'll be fine here, Cloud."
"Okay. I'm gonna go check out the shop across the street."
"Take your time. Stella's going to do my hair, too."
I gave her a nod and watched her disappear through the curtain. A minute later I stepped back out into the cold air and walked across the street to the materia shop.
After picking out a Lightning and Barrier materia, I haggled for a rare Ifrit Summon. The shop owner said he'd sell it to me for half price if I bought a weapon. He showed me a harpoon, kind of like what Cid used and I shook my head because it wasn't my weapon of choice.
When he showed me the Dragon Claw, I whistled and slipped it over my hand. It was a heavy leather glove with six materia slots, four of them were combined. This would definitely pack a lethal punch. Sweet. "How much for this?"
"Ten thousand."
I looked up at him with a frown. "Eight thousand and ten for the Summon."
The shop owner sighed heavily. "It's highway robbery, but I like you, so you got a deal."
"Toss in three vials of Healing potion and three Antidotes." I handed him my credit card and after he scanned it, I stuck it back in my pocket along with the red Ifrit Summon materia. The rest of the stuff went into a bag. I decided to leave the Dragon Claw on my hand because I liked the weight of it.
"Come again," said the shopkeeper as I walked out of the shop 19,000 gil poorer.
The cold air hit my face again and I looked around the street. Hutchins was leaning against the front grill of the armored bus, smoking a cigarette.
After storing my purchases in the compartment of my bike, I walked over to talk to Hutchins. Maybe I could get some information on what this dance tonight was all about. "Hutchins?"
Hutchins greeted me with a nod and held out his pack of cigarettes to me.
I declined with a shake of my head. "Damn cold out here, isn't it?"
"It's not that bad," said Hutchins. "I was born here so I'm used to the cold."
"So you snowboard?"
He cracked a smile. "At my age?"
"Nothing wrong with your age. You were about to go out and fight six Bandersnatches this morning."
"I appreciate what you did, Strife. I don't think we would have been able to handle them by ourselves."
"I couldn't let them attack the school. You think Redgrave might cut me some slack now?"
"I doubt it."
"Yeah, what am I thinking?" I watched the people near the boutique. Some looked at the window display, others just walked by without looking. "So about this dance tonight. What's it all about?"
"It's just an annual get-together for the older students, sixteen and up. The boys from the academy across the forest are invited. It gives the kids a chance to socialize."
"Who supervises?"
"All of the teachers, from both schools, including myself. I'm sure you'll want to be present to look after Miss Lockhart."
"Well, yeah, but…do I have to wear a suit or anything? Cuz I didn't bring any fancy clothes with me."
"It is a formal event." He looked me over. "You're about the same size as Skutel. I'm sure he'll be happy to loan you something."
I hated formal events and I hated dressing up, especially in some stupid monkey suit that restricted my movements in case I had to fight. But I needed to be there to make sure nothing happened to Tifa. No big deal. I had suffered worse than having to wear a suit for three or four hours.
Some time later I walked back into the boutique because I thought it was taking an awfully long time to do hair and try on a dress. "Tifa?"
"Just a few more minutes, Cloud," she yelled from the other room.
I sighed and looked around the shop. There were racks of women's clothes all around. I was bored out of my mind and found myself wandering, looking at the clothes. It brought back an embarrassing memory. A certain incident that forced me to dress up as a woman to get into Don Corneo's house of ill repute so I could save Aeris from being his companion for the night. The most embarrassing part had been when Corneo actually picked me over Aeris. Had I really been that convincing as a woman? It was bad enough I had to get ridiculed by Aeris about it every once in awhile, but I thanked the Gods Barrett hadn't been around to see it or he would pick on me every chance he got for the rest of my life.
"I'm ready to go now."
I spun around just as Tifa walked out from behind the curtain with Stella. Holy crap, Tifa got her hair cut short, just passed her shoulders. It wasn't tied in a ponytail down to her butt any longer.
"How does it look?" she asked with a small smile.
She looked more beautiful than I ever imagined she would…but I could never say things like that outloud. "I dunno. I guess…I just gotta get used to it."
Her smile disappeared. "You don't like it."
I shrugged. "Why would my opinion matter to you anyway?"
"So now I can't even get your opinion as a friend?" She grabbed a garment bag out of Stella's hand and stormed out of the shop.
I frowned and looked down. What the hell did she want me to say, that I really loved her hair? That I wanted to run my fingers through it? That I wanted to see it spread out all over a pillow just before I came down to kiss the living daylights out of her? I wasn't good with romantic words.
Then I remembered Stella was still standing there.
When I looked up at her, she gave me a smile and motioned with her head. "Well, go after her."
I rushed out the door, but not because Stella told me to. I just happened to remember that I was supposed to be protecting Tifa. But as I looked around, I didn't see her. Had she gone into one of the other shops?
Hutchins waved a hand to get my attention and pointed a thumb at the bus.
I looked through the windows of the bus and saw Tifa making her way down the center aisle before sitting in one of the seats. Was that a clue she wasn't going to ride back with me? A little voice inside my head spoke to me: Walk away, Cloud. Just let it go. If you pursue this girl, you're gonna get yourself in a heap of trouble. Remember what happened with Aeris? She's a friend and so is Tifa, which means no sex for you. But I felt like a piece of shit for not even acknowledging that I liked her hair.
I walked toward the bus and climbed inside. It was empty except for Tifa sitting in one of the seats on the left. I made my way down the aisle.
She knew I was coming and with an angry frown, she turned to face the window and looked out.
I slid into the seat behind her and just sat there for awhile, trying to decide what I was going to say to her. I had to say something soon, before the rest of the girls finished shopping and got in the bus. "Tifa, you know I'm not good at giving compliments."
"Why in the world would I know that? I haven't seen you in over six years…and five of those years I thought you were dead. I don't know you anymore, Cloud." She whirled around in her seat to face me. She looked pretty angry. "Why won't you tell me what happened to you all those years?"
I looked down and irritably kicked the back of her seat. Why was everyone always trying to get me to talk about things I didn't even want to remember? Why were they always trying to get me to pour out my emotions? I liked keeping things bottled up inside. I liked living on the brink of an ulcer.
I forgot about her, that was the truth. I forgot because all of the memories I had of her had decided to hide away deep in my head. How could I tell her that without hurting her even more than I already was?
"I know why," she went on. "Because you found yourself a girlfriend in Midgar and you didn't want to tell her about your childhood friend from Nibelheim."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh yeah, that's it." She didn't know how far from the truth she was.
"You figured since you wouldn't be able to keep your promise, you might as well write me off. So you had someone write on the envelope that you were dead. Then you sent it back to me. The perfect way to get me off your back!"
I leaned forward. "No, Tifa, that's not what happened!" Dear Gods, she was the most infuriating girl I knew. Even when we were younger, I wanted to smack her and kiss her at the same time. "I never made it in SOLDIER! I came back to Nibelheim as a low-ranking Shinra guard when Zack and Sephiroth were checking on the reactor, but I kept my identity hidden from you because I was ashamed. I didn't want you to know that I failed."
Her expression changed and her jaw dropped a little in surprise.
But I wasn't done. I was going to get it all off my chest now before I changed my mind. "I was the one who made sure you were safe after Sephiroth burned down our town and nearly killed you! I was the one who killed Sephiroth when Zack couldn't finish the job! And you wanna know what happened after that?" I slid out of the seat. "Why should I tell you?"
Her brows narrowed in anger again. "What?"
"That's right. Why should I tell you? You wouldn't believe me anyway." I backed away from her. "I'll be on my bike if you decide to go back with me." I turned around to go back up the aisle and hopped off the bus. I was such a prick sometimes. I could have told her everything and I almost did.
The truth was, I didn't want her to feel sorry for me, for all the shit I went through. The experiments, the memory loss, thinking I was a First Class SOLDIER when I barely even made it through the first year.
I mounted Fenrir and started the engine. After pulling away from the curb and stopping near the bus, I looked at the time on my cellphone. 2:30. Time to get back. Just as the thought entered my head, Hutchins went around gathering the rest of the girls and they spilled out of the stores.
Every single one of them made some sort of comment to me as they passed.
"Hi, Cloud."
"Feeling better, Cloud?"
"How's your back, Cloud?"
"Nice bike, Cloud."
"Where's your sword, Cloud?"
When everyone was back on the bus, I put on my goggles and got ready to follow Hutchins.
Just then Tifa jumped off the bus and walked over.
I revved the engine, but didn't look at her.
"Can I ride back with you?" she finally asked.
I pretended not to care, but I was actually relieved that she wanted to. "Get on."
Tifa mounted behind me.
When her arms came around my waist and she leaned into my back, I got goosebumps. I wondered what I would feel if she touched me in a more significant way. Bad thought, bad thought. Shut up and drive, Cloud.
I sat in bed, my back against the headboard and watched the news on TV while Tifa got ready for the dance. She had been in the bathroom for well over two hours, coming out only once to get her dress...And wearing only a towel, which nearly gave me a heart attack.
"Wonder what Aeris is doing…" I picked up my cellphone and started dialing the Seventh Heaven.
The bathroom door opened right then and Tifa stepped out.
My brain stopped functioning. What was the rest of the number? Number? Who was I trying to call again?
I dropped my cellphone and stared wide-eyed as Tifa stepped in front of a full-length mirror. Holy mother of Odin. The dress was antique white satin and fit her like it was painted on. It was low-cut in front with pearls and beads and lace. The back of the dress was cut even lower, with more pearls, beads and lace. But the material was gathered sideways on the curve of her butt and it emphasized the shape in an amazing way. She looked like a model about to walk down the runway in a show.
I scooted off the bed and walked up behind her as she slipped on a pair of high-heeled sandals. "Tifa…"
She turned around to face me and I noticed her makeup was a little heavier than usual, but it wasn't over the top trashy. "Yes, Cloud?"
I was standing there with a thumb up my ass like an idiot. Not sure what to say. I scratched the back of my head. I had to say something this time or she'd be mad at me again. "You…you look beautiful."
A small smile lit her face. "Really? You think so?"
"Yeah."
She put her hands on her hips. "I thought you weren't good at giving compliments."
I fought the urge to get a better look at the low cut front of her dress. Damn, she looked stunning and I fought for the right words. "Take them while you can, Tifa. You look beautiful." My eyes finally wandered down to where I could see the swell of her…cough…breasts. And quite a bit of it, too. I wanted to tell her that she forgot the rest of the dress in the shop.
"You think Robbie will like it?"
My eyes shot back up to her face. "Who?"
"Robbie." She said it like I was supposed to know the guy personally.
I didn't think she had been serious about hooking up with this guy. I thought she liked me. But I didn't want to spoil her mood with my petty feelings. Besides, the last thing I needed was for her to think I was jealous. "I'm…pretty sure he'll like it," I mumbled with a frown and turned away.
"You're coming, too, aren't you, Cloud?" she asked.
"I gotta make sure everything's cool, so…yeah, I'm going."
"I'll save you a dance."
In my mind's eye I imagined pulling Tifa close to me, with my right arm around her waist, my fingers touching the smooth, bare skin on her back. My stomach did a flip and all my nerve endings decided to gang up on the tool between my legs. What was with my hormones lately? I had never been so gushy and horny around Tifa before. That's because the last time I saw her, she was only thirteen and I was only fifteen. Back then I didn't even know my occasional surprise erections had anything to do with girls at all.
My silence apparently disappointed her. "It's okay. Your girlfriend probably wouldn't like it anyway."
I shrugged. "Tifa, I already told you. Aeris isn't my girlfriend."
"Oh, right. You did tell me, last night."
"Yeah, I'll dance with you, if you want."
She frowned and looked down.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
When she looked back up at me, she sighed. "Cloud, you would tell me if we did anything last night, right?"
The truth was, I didn't remember if anything happened. All I remembered was making out and maybe copping a feel or two, then it was lights out in my head. We could have done everything for all I knew. But I wanted to ease her conscience. "Nothing happened, Tifa."
She looked relieved and disappointed at the same time. Or was I just imagining the disappointment because I wanted her to want me.
Something inside me flipped out. I lost control of myself and it was like I was watching it happen from a distance. My hands went to her face and I kissed her. Tifa responded by parting her lips and I took it as an invitation to slip her the old tongue. There was no alcohol this time to influence our actions.
Then suddenly she pushed against my chest, breaking the kiss. "No, Cloud."
I stared at her like she was the insane one, not me. How could she be so receptive one minute and repulsed the next? "But I thought…"
She shook her head and backed away from me. "It took a long time for me to get over you. A very long time. I can't go through that again. I just can't!"
"Then stop fucking with my head!" I regretted the words the second they left my mouth.
Tifa spun around and headed for the door.
"Tifa, wait…I'm sorry."
She opened the door and walked out, letting the door swing closed behind her.
I cringed and shook my head. Fucking idiot. How many times was I going to let a girl shatter my heart like I didn't matter? First it was Aeris and now Tifa. Or was Tifa first? Oh, what the hell did it matter who was first anyway? I was the fool who let it happen. I fell for Tifa when I was just a kid and deep down inside I never stopped loving her. When Aeris came along, I was pretty sure all I was looking for then was something to buffer what I felt for Tifa, even though at the time I didn't remember Tifa existed at all. I hid my true feelings behind the false ones I felt for Aeris. I knew now it was always Tifa…
There was a knock on the door and I quickly walked over to get it. Maybe it was Tifa coming back to accept my apology. I swung the door open. But it wasn't Tifa.
It was Hutchins, holding up a suit on a hanger. "Here you go, kid. I had it cleaned and pressed for you."
I took it from him. "Thanks, Hutchins."
"See you downstairs."
I closed the door and walked between the beds. After laying the suit on my bed, I sat down on the edge of Tifa's. I stared at the suit like it was the first time I was ever seeing such a thing. It was dark blue with a bit of a shine to it. The shirt was white. There was also a blue necktie with little specks of white. It was the most hideous suit I had ever seen in my entire life and I was expected to wear it.
It wasn't the suit so much as it was the idea of going down to the dining hall where the dance was being held. I'd have to watch Tifa dancing with some other guy. I wasn't sure how I'd handle that. Maybe I let Aeris do what she wanted in front of me because deep down inside I didn't really care about her as much as I thought. It was different with Tifa.
The suit stared back at me, mocking me…calling me a chicken shit because I couldn't face the reality that my childhood friend…my bestfriend…no longer loved me the way I loved her. The pain in my chest hurt worse than what I felt this morning from the Bandersnatch's claws.
It was better when I didn't even remember Tifa existed in my life.
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