Rating: T

Characters: Sebastian, Nick Warbler

Warnings: Character death, suicide, self-harm, blood, sadness

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used/mashed-up in this story.

A/N: This is it, the big one full of sads. Be brave.

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CHAPTER 8:

Sebastian felt ecstatic as he flew back to Westerville. The thought of being with Nick for all eternity was liberating. He wanted to cry and scream and sing and yell out his happiness for the entire world to hear. He wanted to make sure that everyone knew he was flying home to the love of his life. He didn't dare think about what Father Frost had said – there would be no need for consequences tonight. Everything was going to be perfect.

Flying into Westerville made his heart beat fast with anticipation. Sebastian felt giddy and jumpy, glad that no one could see how childlike he was with excitement pulsing through his veins. He twirled and looped through the air a few times as he made his way to Nick's house. All of the lights were on inside except for in Nick's room. The window was locked and Sebastian couldn't get in. He instead flew down to the kitchen window which stood slightly ajar and from within bellowed the angry voice of Nick's father.

"I'm not kidding around here, Jeff! If you've seen or heard from Nick I need to fucking know!"

"Well, have you got any idea where he would go? Sebastian's grave, maybe? Would he go to Dalton?"

"Okay, okay… Could you get the other Warblers to try calling him or looking for him? We've called the police and I was about to call the hospital. If you hear from him, call me or Ellie right away."

"Thanks Jeff, take care. Sorry I yelled," Ben's tone of voice changed then. "Jeff hasn't heard from him or seen him. He'll call around the Warblers and get back to us if he hears anything. … God, why would he do this? Why the hell would he run away?"

Sebastian pulled away from the kitchen window then, his heart racing even faster. Nick was gone. Nick had disappeared. Sebastian glanced up to the overcast sky and swore under his breath before he launched himself into the air and made his way towards the graveyard. He didn't know where his old body had been buried but he couldn't find any footprints in the snow and decided to look elsewhere.

The intimidating sound of the police sirens spurred Sebastian forward. He had to find Nick before they did. He might be able to help him, stop him from making a mistake. But deep down, Sebastian knew that if Nick was set on something, he probably would have already achieved it.

Swallowing harshly, he shook the idea from his head and Sebastian found himself drifting back towards the neighbourhood where Nick lived. Nick wouldn't go back to the hospital and Dalton was too far to go without a car. The library would be closed and the only other place Sebastian knew that held any significance to Nick was the park.

The realisation flooded Sebastian's mind then and he found himself flying faster than he ever had before.

Father Frost had known something was going to happen. He had warned him of consequences and told him what happened to people who died alone in the cold. But Nick couldn't go out that way. Sebastian wouldn't let him die alone. He wouldn't let him die at all if he could stop it.

The park was almost pitch black – the streetlights didn't reach past the sidewalk – and Sebastian was struggling to find his way around. He checked all through the play equipment and amongst the trees but he found Nick where he had expected him to be.

Sitting beside one of the rocks, curled in on himself, was Nick. He was shaking, dressed in only a pair of jeans, shoes and a thin t-shirt. Sebastian was panting heavily as he fell to his knees beside the boy, tossing his staff away as he watched with wide eyes.

"Nick?" he asked, his voice little more than a breath.

"He's gone… He's gone, he's not coming back. He doesn't love you – doesn't want you. It'll all go away. Just make it go away." Nick shifted and as Sebastian's eyes adjusted to the dim light, he saw the dark red stain on the front of Nick's shirt and the light reflected off the razorblade in his hand. Sebastian reached down and pulled the blade away from Nick, tossing it back and listened to the plop as it fell in the pond.

"Nick, listen to me, I'm here, 'Bas is here." Sebastian pulled Nick's shaking body into his arms, wrapping him in a warm embrace. Nick looked up at him with teary eyes, his lip quivering as he lifted a shaking hand to touch Sebastian's face.

"You're real," he whispered.

Sebastian felt tears well in his eyes as he covered Nick's hand with his own, feeling the wetness of blood smear over his skin. "Y-Yes, I'm real, I'm here Nick. I'm not gonna leave you, okay? Everything's gonna be fine."

"I'm the only one who sees," Nick whispered, his eyelids drooping.

"Yes, yes you are," Sebastian took a deep shuddering breath. "Because you're special. You're special and I love you."

"I don't hate you, 'Bas… Do you hate me?"

"No, no of course not," Sebastian was squeezing Nick's hand as he held it against his cheek. "You've gotta hold on for me, Nick. You've gotta hold on. They're gonna come and find you. They're gonna help you."

"Can't you help me?"

"I don't know how," Sebastian's breath hitched as his throat tried to close up. "God – Nick you can't die. Why did you do this?! Why would you hurt yourself like this?!"

"Didn't think you were coming back," Nick murmured as he slumped a little more against Sebastian. His eyes were closed now and Sebastian didn't know what to do.

"Keep talking to me, Nick! You've gotta keep talking! Don't leave me here! You can't leave me here!"

"Love you, 'Bas."

Sebastian watched in horror as Nick's body slacked in his arms, Nick's hand falling from his own. He pulled Nick up again, shaking him harder than he should have. He pressed kisses to Nick's face, his lips coming away tasting of blood.

"Wake up, Nick! You have to wake up! Stay with me!" He rocked the boy gently, stroking his hair and matting it with his own blood as he cried.

Sebastian didn't know how to help him; he didn't know how to bring Nick back. And now that he wasn't alone, there was no chance of ever seeing him again. Father Frost had warned him, had told him to stay away, and he hadn't listened.

The first Sebastian had left Nick alone and made him want to die. The second one had made it happen. And with the new pain in his chest, the cycle wore on.

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A/N: *hands you a tissue and your comfort food of choice* I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. –Frankie xoxo