I loki up the defanation of "troll" an I jus have 2 say that its tipecal librul behavor to just call me a troll (Maybe you won't be a troll if you weren't so mean to the people hating on your story.) because yall dont wanna accept that everytrthing I say is tru and u libruls are wrong and agenst God himself. (We all have opinions. We can be against God if that's what we prefer.) Yall refuse to accept that any1 has a difring oponion frum u becuz if u do that then yule (Yule? What part of this is yuletide?) hav 2 accept that ur opinyon is wrung. U R HIPPOCRATES. (We are crates with hippos in them, and NOT hypocrites!)

CHAP 8: SAMAS BRAKES OUTTA PRISAN (Ooooh deary me, a sea of lesbians! *totally not sarcastic*)

Lauren an Me had lotsa fun and wan alota maches over the naxt weak. Havin her in tha manshon was the best thin ever. (Think of the depression of the other Smashers, having you Mary Sues invading the mansion.) We also went on a tun of dobbie dates with r boyfrens Like and Ink. (Lauren's dating a big bottle of ink?) On dya I was bye myself tho and walking around the manshon. I had the day off becuz Lauren was teeming with Ike and Link had a 1-an-1 mach agents Ganandalf. I was walking past a buncha door an stuf. Than Zelda waked up to me. (Learn your than's and then's. You don't want to happen to you what happened to that Facebook girl.)

"Hi Sara" she said. She was starring at my shirt. I was wearing a pink tank top that staryed out blake but then I took alota glitter and spel "Obama Sux" onit. (You…. YOU DON'T KNOW TRUE ART! *spazz* Also, you think a Christian sucks?)

"Lick my shit?" I said. (Nooo…. You claim to be a good person telling the truth and yet you use scat?)

"yes. Thats why I was luking their" Zelda said she loking bak at my fase "lets go2 my rome" (Uh-oh, look who's supposedly turned into a lesbian!)

"OK" I said. I fellowed Zelda 2 her room. Wen we want inside the room was dirk (Into the fiery pit of Hell we go… *devilish grin*) and I herd the dore slum behind me.

"hai their pretty gurl" I recognized the vois imedietly. It was SAMAS ERIN! But she was supposed 2 b in prism. (SAMUS PRISM POWER MAKE UP! *sorryhadto*)

"But ur supose 2 be in prisan" is aid. (Is aid? Will you aid Samus with not being an extreme pervert? Well, well, well.)

"I braked out" she said. It was my worstest feer. (Dude, worstest isn't even a word.) I new she wuld evantully be pardanned by Bareck Obaka but I hopped the wasingtan burowcrasy wuld dely her pardan lon enuf 4 a Republeken too be elect or for Obamuh 2b impech. I didnt except 4 Samas to brake out. (Well, I have no words for that confusing speech.)

"Zelda we ned to ran" but Zelda was bloking the door "whats gone on?" (Normal things is what's going on.)

"U didnt figar it out yet?" Zelda said. She runned ovary and stated to ripe off my close and she kissed me. (Wait, it just hit me. As far as I remember, in chapter 2 she made out with Samus before realising she was a girl. Hmmm, I wonder…)

"Ono ur a lesban now" I sad (Yes, you should be sad.), puling away. Howevar Samas grabed me form behind and than started ribbing my butte. (Ribbing could only either be a typo for rubbing, ripping or rim- oh shit…)

"Yes I am sexay Sara" Zelda toched my brass. (A brass ring? Well, what type of pleasure will that provide?)

"I turmed her into my luver when I return from prisan" Samas whispared in2 my eer. (Hmph. I really don't like this OOC Samus.)

"And son yule (This story has nothing to do with yuletide!) be a lesban to" Zelda whaspered in my otter era. (Sara has ears like an otter?)

"No ples no" I said "i dont wanna be a lesban. Ima Christen! (There are gay Christians. You don't have to follow the crowd and be anti gays.) Sumbuddy Halp!" (You can ask for buddies to help, but truthfully you have no buddies.)

"Noone can here u. We mad (Yup, u mad) sure every1 els was in the stadiem" Samas said.

"God can her me" I said. (God can hear a 13 year old girl with a really offensive personality.)

"Ha! Im an athist librul now! I dont beleve in God anymor!" Zelda said. (She never did. She believes in Hylia.)

"Yes now we both warship Satin!" Samas said. (You put Satan into a war ship?!)

"Just becuz u dont beleve inhim doesnt meen hes nor reel" I sade. (Of course he isn't a reel of tape. Or whatever it's called.)

"Well I used my magik combined with the pwoar of Santa (I SHALL BRING YOU ALL PRESENTS… OF DESTRUCTION!) and Barak Obema to seel the door to this room" Zelda said "lik it or not yule be a lesban sun!" (I never knew the sun was a lesbian.)

I runned (What type of word is 'runned'? Is it a new word? What a mystery we have here.) into the coroner of Zeldas room.

"Sty back!" I sad, praperd fora fit. (Oh no, here comes the FORA FIT!)

"Been a lesban isnt sumthin to be afeared of Sara" Zelda said (She was kinda right in some cases.) "Im hapy now that Samas and I r dating."

"It doesnt matter how hapy u r. Its an abomasnow!" (It's a Pokemon! A pretty scary one at that!) I sed "God hats u 4 it!" (God puts a hat on you for being a lesbian!)

"Beleve me yule (SO MUCH YULE AND IT'S NOT EVEN CHRISTMAS ANYMORE) be hapy 2 wen u becom 1 of us" Samas said.

"Maybe ucan turn Lauren into a lesban than u 2 can dat eachodder" Zelda said.

"No! Id never do that to my best fren!" I said "she may be the prettest gurl evar but we ned 2 goto hevan not hell. WERE CHRISTENS NOT LESBANS!" (Christians can be lesbians if they truly want to.)

"Not 4 long" Samas and Zelda said in unisan. (Awww dicksticks. What a funnyfarm we have here.)

As the 2 lesbans aproched me I was more scarred than id evar ben in my life. (Oh no, they scarred you? How naughty of them. Bad lesbians! Baaaad!) Al I culd do was prey and prey that sum1 came to my rescue. (Who would want to come to the rescue of the likes of you? Dammit Sara.) Did I mak it out safe or did Samas and Zelda tune me in2 a lesban athist librul? Find out in the next chaptar! (Oh no, a cliffhanger! Whatever cliff it is that we hang off, I hope Sara falls.)


And so that concludes a chapter, with a cliffhanger this time. And God these headcanons are hilarious.

Now, just a quick word on my views. I'm an atheist who supports gays, lesbians, transgenders and the like, but I don't have a problem with people who have Christian faith, weak or strong. Just in case you thought I was being offensive.

The only people I have a problem with are strict homophobes, because in most cases they don't accept gay people for what they believe in. Now you get why I think this story is offensive?

Oh, I got some of my mock exam results back. The outcome… a little less than I expected! ^^; It doesn't help that most of my class did AWFUL in chemistry (with me getting, like, 31%) and that our teacher completely flipped out at us, haha! XD

Well, I'm glad simply that they're over. I have my GCSEs in May/June, so don't expect much from me during that time. I'm hoping to stay in school to do my A levels, but I need to pass my GCSEs if I want to, so I'll need to study a lot more, so don't expect all THAT much from me during this time, either.

Well, that's all I have to say. BBFN,

~SCE