Hello! I'm back! Sorry this took so long, since school started, things have been busy. I've had little free time to sit down and write things. But I have this hilarious chapter so you guys can't complain.
As asked by many of you, here is the Tony-gets-pranked-by-hawkeye-and-peter chapter. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: sigh… must we do this every time?
Chapter Eight: Tony Stark and The Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
-Jin
The day could be described as nothing less than utterly exhausting. Tony had been in meetings all day. Pep had made him attend them all, and honestly, the only time he had ever seen such a minuscule amount of work done before was when he had visited the Parker residence a few weeks ago for a dinner prepared by a hot aunt. May informed Tony as he walked in that Peter was in his room, cleaning, so he replied that he would pop in to say hi.
Unless Tony's definition of "cleaning" differed from that of May Parker, then Tony could be confident in saying that sitting on the ceiling while getting a new high score on Subway Surfers is not cleaning.
Anyway, back on topic, Tony's whole day was essentially a big fat goose egg sitting beneath a bunch of old guy's—who would win a good metal if "screaming about useless things" were in the Olympics—fat butts. Meaning: absolutely nothing got done.
And Tony was tired as heck.
So he thought "hey, why don't I head to the good ol' tower to chilax for an hour or two before heading back to Pep and getting forced to start a colossal amount of paperwork before I can even think the word 'bed'?"
If he knew what he would be put through next, he would have begged—hands and knees mind you—for that paperwork.
He knew something was wrong the moment he walked in the tower. It was quiet. Too quiet. And the secretary, a lovely old lady named Mrs Thompson, wasn't sitting behind her desk. She wasn't sitting at all, which was surprising because all she ever did was complain about her weak knees. Complain, and give glares worthy of Batman. Like, not quite Nick Fury level, but definitely a pissed off Batman level. Anyway, she was standing next to her desk looking extremely annoyed with pursed lips and eyebrows drawn together.
"Mrs Thompson…?" Tony asked, extremely unsure if he was even talking to the real Mrs Thompson. For all he knew, she could have been abducted by some space alien, because that old lady never willingly stood still when a chair was near her toosh.
Her wrinkled face turned and glared at Tony. He gulped. She was definitely the real one. "Mr Stark, I think there's something wrong with this chair…"
Tony shrugged off his dress jacket and folded it in his arms as he approached the old lady. "What's wrong with it?"
"Well," Mrs Thompson started. She pushed her circular glasses a bit closer to her eyes. "I sat down in it, and it squeaked so terribly loud."
"Squeaked?"
"Yes."
Tony resisted the urge to roll his eyes. That old chair was ancient and it already squeaked like an angry, old fat mouse in a business meeting. Maybe she finally got hearing aids good enough to realize how loud her chair, of which was in desperate need of a replacement. (Whenever Tony offered to replace her chair or get her better aids she always—infuriatingly so—refused).
He put his folded dress jacket on the desk and then went behind aforesaid desk to take a look at the chair. It looked the same as ever. The black leather peeled in random places, which revealed yellow styrofoam. It looked like Cap used it for a punching bag. He spun it around with his hand and listened to the persistent squeaking. He mentally concluded that Mrs Thompson must have gotten better hearing aids because it didn't sound any different from usual. He smiled. Finally he could tell her it was time to replace the chair.
He sat down on the old chair… and that was when he realized he had made a terrible mistake. All he wanted to do was rest his feet while he broke the news to the old woman, but the way his day went, he really shouldn't have been surprised.
It sounded like a goose died while screaming heavy metal into the biggest speakers in the history of ever while Thor sung backup. Okay, maybe that was over exaggerating. Thor wasn't there.
But the Hulk was.
A loud ringing noise erupted from underneath Tony which startled him so badly he fell out of the chair with his limbs flailing everywhere. After he landed on the ground with a thump, the noise abruptly stopped.
"Jesus Christ," Tony gasped as he started wide-eyed at the ceiling while he laid on his back.
"Mr Stark…?" Came the concerned voice of Mrs Thompson as she leaned over him.
Tony glanced up at her as his genius mind admittedly took a few seconds to process what had just happened. His stare hardened. Mrs Thompson didn't get new hearing aids. No. The chair had gotten louder.
But he sensed an outside source.
He didn't bother to answer Mrs Thompson before he rolled to his stomach and glared at the bottom of the offending chair. There! Right there! Someone taped a horn to the bottom of the chair!
Already making a list of suspects in his head, he reached towards the horn and tore it out from underneath. He jumped to his feet and slammed the horn on his desk. "It's fixed," he growled before making his way towards the elevator.
Mrs Thompson simply stared at him like he grew a third eye.
Once he was in the elevator, he growled out a command for it to take him to the floors with the labs. A few minutes later, he walked into the main lab and studied the large room like it was guilty of murder. The lights were off and every tool was in its place. He sniffed the air and growled when he recognized the smell of cologne he had given Peter for Christmas. Suspect number one: confirmed. Now all he had to do was find the little bug.
He mentally composed a list of each nook and cranny Peter would be hiding in as he did one last sweep of the lab. He decided the first place to check would be the security room, because if Peter made pranks, you can be dang well sure that brat would want to watch the fruit of his labors take place. He spun on heel and walked back into the elevator.
"B2," he commanded simply. He sighed and leaned backwards into one of the four corners of the elevator. Something was off…
His eyebrows rose when he realized the elevator wasn't moving. "B2!" He repeated, a bit louder and with tightness in his voice.
"Say please," a voice suddenly said happily over the elevator speakers.
If Tony was holding anything, no matter what it was, it would have been shattered. "Peter," he growled. "I am not in the mood."
Peter pouted over the speaker. "C'mon Mr Stark, a simple please won't hurt anybody."
Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Peter," he growled. Then it came to him. Peter wasn't in the security room, he was in the control rooms. "Peter, I swear to all things good and holy, if you don't take me to floor 12 this moment-"
"I thought you said B2?"
"Peter."
"Okay, okay, just a second-"
There was the sound of fingers on a keyboard before the elevator suddenly jerked. "Floor 12, coming up!"
By the time Tony had reached his destination, his headache he had developed throughout the day had almost doubled. Peter had hummed Never Gonna Give You Up over the speaker's the whole way up. Tony would find later that the elevator speed was tampered with so it only went ⅓ it's normal speed, so the infuriating time in the elevator was even longer. Eventually, the elevator doors opened and Tony got out as quick as humanly possible. However, the moment his body was completely out of the elevator, he stopped short. The elevator doors closed behind him.
"Peter, this isn't floor 12." He glared at the nearest security camera, hoping Peter would be able to see his utter annoyance.
"You said 12? Dang, I thought you meant 10. Oops?" Tony was about to snap back but then the elevator hummed and the panel besides it signified it going up. "Up to 12 then!"
"Peter! Not without me you- and~ the elevator is gone. #$%."
Guess he'll take the stairs.
-o-o-o-o-
By the time Tony made to the twelfth floor, his patience was running extremely thin. What should have been a 10 to 15 minute trek through many hallways and two flights of stairs quickly turned into a 30 minute torture session. He ran into plastic wrap in the doorways more times than he cared to admit, he was started out of his mind when a coat hanger was moved to a shady corner, dressed up to look like Daredevil, a total of three doors had extremely loud horns behind them, and a long expanse of hallway was covered with plastic cups half full of water.
He stumbled onto floor 12, honestly doubting Peter was even still on the floor but this was now a matter of pride. He studied both ends of the hallway. He concluded there were no visible threats so he fully opened the door he was protecting himself behind, only for a powdery white chalk eraser to fall on his face. He didn't even have a blackboard!
100% done with everything, he stomped over to where the control room was—only stopping for a second when he tripped over a threat connected to a bucket of green and slippery goo. He slammed open the door and groaned when there was no annoying spider brat hybrid in sight. The only evidence of the boy's presence was the smell of cologne.
Where is Peter now.
His forehead crinkled as he thought, and then an idea came to him. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought of it before. "F.R.I.D.A.Y? Can you locate Peter for me?" How could he have forgotten he could have just asked F.R.I.D.A.Y?! Goodness, his brain must really be fried.
"My apologies, I do not have permission to disclose Mr Parker's current location."
Tony choked on air. "Permission?!"
"Indeed."
Tony ran his hand through his hair in frustration. That's it. He's done. Peter can just hide from him forever. He doesn't care.
He stalked away from the control room and pressed the up panel for the elevator. Thankfully, this time, he didn't have a teenager controlling the elevator as he slowly ascended up to the abandoned floors meant for people to live in. He arrived on his old floor and was extremely relieved to find no signs of tampering. He sighed and walked over to the bar to get a shot of whatever was in the fridge, then he sat down on one of the bar stools.
He poured himself a shot and quickly tipped his back and swallowed just as fast. It tasted horrible. But a good kind or horrible. The kind of horrible that helped him forget the hobbit frantically pounding against his skull.
He sighed and lazily held his head up with the palm of one hand while the other swirled the empty Grand Canyon themed shot glass. Something black suddenly came in his vision.
He gave a cry of alarm before falling backwards out of his stool, landing hard on his back. He groaned and silently cursed the world for letting him end up on his back, on the floor, twice in the same day. He tilted his head up and glanced at what had startled him, and he was surprised to see a fake, plastic spider hanging from a thin thread. The thread traveled up to the ceiling vent.
"You've got to be $#% #$# me."
Laughing erupted from the vent and suddenly the cover was yanked off. Then jumped down the biggest prankster in the history of ever. Peter followed Hawkeye out of the pipes not a second later.
"Oh man!" Hawkeye laughed, clutching his sides. Peter giggled uncontrollably, doubled over with stuttered breath.
"You're #$%$$%# me!" Tony repeated. He felt a strange combination of surprise, embarrassment, annoyance, and… joy. "CLINT!? PETER YOU'VE BETRAYED ME!"
Hawkeye mocked wiping a tear out from under his eye before helping Tony to his feet. "Oh my gosh, Tony you have the best intern ever."
Clint started to chuckle again and Tony shot a glare at the still dying-of-laughter teen. He was about to snark back that after their stunts of booby trapping the tower, Peter would have to go and find a new job. Tony was extremely annoyed at the boy, especially after his hard day of meetings, but as he watched the teen laugh out of pure joy, a smile slowly slipped onto his face.
"Yeah, I guess I do," he replied as he silently plotted his revenge.
-o-o-o-o-
Gasp! Room for a maybe part three? Anyways, I hope this chapter lived up to expectations. I had way too much fun writing it. Throughout Interaction, I had tried to restrict myself to making these chapters in only Peter's perspective, but I thought this would be funnier if it was in Tony's. How do you guys feel about chapters not in Peter's perspective? Should I do it more often?
THANK YOU FOR THE ALERTS OMG.
Thanks to: koala789, CorvoKuro, audrey231, xXPinkMewXx, 616mcu, SunshineGirl14, antebunny, and CrimsonQueen24 for all the reviews on Chapter 7. Means a lot to me guys.
Next time: Thor. Next next time: Guardians of the Galaxy. (I changed my mind in Punisher and Claire. I'll do those guys later).
