A/N: WARNING: This story has been revised from it's original version. It has been formatted to make better sense and reveal better character development. Many thanks again to AsTheDragonFlies for reviewing and telling me to go forth with the idea of using shorts, and for the great and obvious suggestion of having Dipper actually go to church with Isannah (you rock dude!). I've decided that I'm going to place a chapter with a short after every two episodes. I'm know that the shorts weren't aired until later in the series, so I'm going to try to fit them in context with the episodes that appear before them as best I can. AIFKU PDEO NAREOEKJ!

Chapter 8: Fixin' It With Soos: The Cuckoo Clock

Ah, 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning, I thought, pouring myself coffee and trying to blink the sleepiness out of my eyes. I had toast scorching and eggs hissing in a pan. Coffee was brewing, and the sun was lazily stretching out it's rays to the kitchen window.

The smell must have coaxed the twins out of bed, because Dipper and Mabel came downstairs, yawning and stretching in their pajamas.

"Morning, Pinecones," I said to them, spreading butter on my toast. The nickname was an accident, slipping from my mouth after a late Saturday evening working. But it stuck, and the twins didn't seem to mind. (Although, I wouldn't call Stan a Pinecone for fear of being evicted).

"Mornin,'" yawned Dipper.

"Why are you up and dressed so early, Isannah?" asked Mabel. "It's only seven forty five."

"Gosh, I've gotta get moving!" I grabbed more eggs from the fridge, popped more the toast in the toaster, and hurried to grab plates from the cupboard.

"What's the rush, Iz?" asked Dipper puzzled. "It's Sunday."

"Exactly!" I said, grabbing flying slices of toast, throwing them on the table and setting plates over them. "I have church!"

"Oooooh," they said in unison.

"But what do you do in church?" asked Mabel.

"It's like college," explained Dipper. "She goes there to get a lecture about what she's doing wrong, and then learns how to live her life the right way."

"If that's your only idea of church, then you need to be educated," I replied, grabbing my mug and pouring a dose of coffee. "Church is so much more than that."

"How?"

"It's a place where Christians gather to talk, eat, sing, and enjoy being with each other because they all have a common belief in God," I explained, pulling the orange juice out of the fridge, and glasses from the cupboard. "I like the worship services the most, when we sing about how thankful we are to God about our lives."

I poured the juice haphazardly in two glasses, then absent-mindly dumped them both into the frying pan. "It puts you in the right mindset; it's Sunday, the start of the week, you'll be going back to work and to school, you'll be having problems and issues, you know, stuff you don't look forward to. Singing to God makes you happy and puts you in a joyful mood. Giving the first day of the week to God and being thankful for what He's done and is going to do in our lives makes it all worthwhile.

"Unless of course the songs picked to sing by the worship team are meant to put you in a sad and repentant mindset, then you'll go around all week moping and wondering if you can change and if your soul is in the right place or just on it's way to – "

"Hello – eggs are burning!" cried Mabel, pointing at the stove. I saved them, and scraped them off the pan with a spatula. I slid the juice infused eggs onto each of their plates, and hurried for my room, not bothering to eat myself.

"Well, I need to be there in fifteen minutes," I mentioned, heading back up the stairs to grab my shoes and a pair of toe socks. "You guys wanna come with me?"

"I would," said Mabel. "But Grunkle Stan needs me to stitch up some of his old clothes," she dramatically whipped out a handful of knee patches. "I'm gonna use knee patches shaped like kitten faces!"

"What about you, Dipper?" I asked. "Got anything to do today?"

"Um, not really," he said. "I guess I could – "

"Great! Let's go!" I grasped his wrist and dragged him up the stairs with me. "Grab your hat, grab your shoes, and grab a notebook, 'cause today, you're going to be educated!"

Mabel continued to eat her breakfast. "Eggs over orange juice. Mmm. Almost as good as Lazy Susan's coffee omelet."

"Mornin' Mabel," said her great-uncle, entering the kitchen. "Where's the fast-talker and the paranoid at?"

"They're getting ready for church," she replied, crunching her toast.

"Oh great, two fanatics in this house," he muttered.

He went to grab himself a mug for coffee, when me and Dipper ran into the room.

"Morning Stan! I'mtakingDippertochurch!Don'tworryhewon'tbeindoctrinatedbytheendoftheday!MindifIborrowthekeyforthegolfcart?Thanks!We'llbebackforlunch!YesIdiddrinktoomuchcoffee!Loveyouguys!Weneedtogo!Bye!"

I blitzed out of the kitchen, carrying a Bible under one arm, and Dipper in the other.

Stan stood in the doorway, watching his tenant and grand-nephew take off down the road. "Sheesh, if she would only get to work that fast everyday," he muttered.

-cue theme song-

I drove us down the road to Holy Spirit Baptist Church. I was trying to control the caffeine overdose I was experiencing. I didn't want to be a stumbling block to the younger or newer Christians with my unintended misuse of coffee. Dipper sat uneasily in the seat next to me, trying to buckle his seat belt.

"Why didn't we just take Grunkle Stan's car?" he asked me.

"You … really … think … that … he would … want me … to drive … his car?" I asked with deliberate slowness.

"Point taken," he said.

"Besides," I replied, trying to control the speed of my words. "I'm … not … pulling … into … church … with … a car … that … has … the name … 'El Diablo' … on the … side."

"I don't know about this, Iz," he said to me.

"What's … bothering … you?" I asked him.

"I've never been to church. I won't know what to do, or what to say, or – "

"At the church … where we're … going … none of … that … matters. All you have … to do is … show up. And if … you get … confused … about what you … should do … you just tell me … and I'll guide you … through it all."

He didn't seem much happier about the idea, but didn't say anything more on the matter. The town church steeple finally came into view.

The ground was soaked in last night's dew. I was just glad that it hadn't rained last night, or I would be coated with mud from my sneakers to the hems of my slacks. I was also glad that this particular church had no set dress code. Not that I would dress slovenly, but I wasn't used to wearing dresses and skirts for church. I never had to in my father's church, anyway.

We pulled into the driveway, just as Dipper asked me, "Sooo, what kind of church is this one?"

"It's not some … cultish church … if that's what … you're afraid of … It's built like a … traditional one; it's got the tall steeple … wide wooden pews … churchgoers who have been attending it … for most of their lives. It's a simple church … nothing fancy. No stain-glass … no big music band or choir … no venerated sepulchers of past saints or rich town residents … It's my kind of place."

We walked through to the door, and were greeted by the church's freckly greeter, Simon Zealot.

"Good morning," he said. Dipper glanced nervously at me, and I replied "Good morning, Simon." Dipper replied with "Uhhh, good morning, Simon."

"A friend of yours, Isannah?" he asked me.

"Yep," I told him. "Letting him come … to see what church is all about."

"We're glad to have you here," he said as we moved inside.

"That's the greeter," I explained to Dipper. "He's someone who stands by the door in the morning and greets whoever walks into church to make them welcome."

"OK. Sooo, now where do we sit?" he asked. "Is there some sort of seating arrangement here? What's the program?"

"Oh, we sit … wherever we want," I said. "Though usually we just kinda form a habit of sitting – "

I was interrupted in my thoughts by a "Izzy, Izzy! Sit next to me!" It was the voice of five-year-old auburn haired Ruthie, a little girl who came to church with her grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Constant. Her ten-year-old sister, Naomi sulked in the pew her family sat in.

"I'm coming, Ruthie!" I called. "Here, let's go sit next to them." I waved him over to the pew the family was sitting in, and Dipper followed me, scribbling something inside a notebook. He was actually taking notes. Well, I guess that to him, church was an anomaly, an unknown. He was curious about this place. I felt hopeful he would get some answers.

"Good morning, Mr. … and Mrs. Constant," I greeted. "Hey Ruthie … hey Naomi."

"Hey, Izzy!" Ruthie squeezed a hug into my midsection, while Naomi just gave me a hostile glare.

"Didn't I tell you last week to call us 'Marilyn' and 'George?'" said Mrs. Constant. "Mrs. Constant is my mother-in-law, and I'd rather not be referred to her."

"Then why did you marry me?" joked her husband.

"Because no one else would," she replied jokingly back.

I introduced Dipper."This cool guy here … is my pal, Dipper. He'll be joining us for Sunday school."

"Um, greetings," Dipper waved awkwardly.

"That's a funny name," Ruthie said to him.

"Ruthie, don't be rude," scolded her grandmother.

"Uh, it's OK – I don't mind," he replied. "It is kinda a weird nickname."

"Are you a Christian?" she asked him.

"Oops, here Ruthie, you wanna sit next to me?" I interrupted, seating myself between them. "Yes!" She eagerly took her spot next to me on my left, and Dipper sat to my right.

I handed Dipper a pamphlet. "This is today's schedule for the service, but that's for the adults who are listening to the main service," I explained, finally gaining normal speed control of my voice and feeling my nerves settle. "They don't have a youth group organized yet, so you'll be in the Sunday school for today."

"What's youth group and Sunday school?" he whispered.

"Sunday school is like a class where kids learn lessons from the Bible," I whispered back. "A youth group is similar, but is for older kids and teenagers."

"Why are you whispering?" asked Ruthie.

"I can't tell you," I whispered back. "It's a secret."

"Why can't you tell me?" she asked again.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret anymore," I replied, tousling her hair till she laughed.

Dipper scanned the congregation as more people filed in. "Is this it?"

"Is what it?" I asked him.

"Is this just everyone who comes here?"

"We don't get a lot of people here," answered Mr. Constant, who moved to the pew behind us to speak with Dipper. "We sometimes got the odd tourist or vacationer who wonder in here to get church off their checklist, or who are committed enough to pull off the road and listen to a godly message for the day. But we have the usual mix. Mrs. Callow, the woman who always sits in the back and organizes church gatherings, the Dale family, that huge family right across from us, including their second cousin Lawrence. He's one of the professors in Isannah's community college. And there's old Jemima Fluke, a self-proclaimed prophetess who's otherwise a kind if not mislead woman."

"Oh George!" scolded his wife.

"I'm only speaking the truth, Marilyn," he replied to her. "Oh, and those kids up on the stage there are the worship team, Rad, Chad, and Indigo. They're cousins. And that fine gentleman in the very front row is Pastor Warm."

While the worship team sang the opening song, Reverend Luke Warm took his place at his podium. His wife, son, and daughter sat in the very front row, wearing their meticulous clothes and sedulously curled hair. Not that I had any personal dislike for the family, but the Warm siblings never wanted to be bothered with anyone other than the worship team or their friends who would meet them after the service. And the daughter actually seemed snide to compliments, particularly from those with a seemingly lower position in church politics.

Before sitting down a few rows behind, Simon Zealot walked by and said, "Hey, Summer, did you cut your hair? It looks nice."

"Save it, Simon Smellot," she muttered. "I know you're dying to be my boyfriend, but the answer is 'no'."

"I wasn't trying to hit on you. I was just making a genuine – "

"I don't want to hear it. You dumped me because you said, 'I need to refocus my life on God before I can think of dating now.' Aren't I as important to you as God is?"

"Yeah, but – th-that's not what I said. I told you – "

"Stop wasting your breath," replied her brother, Augustus. "Or maybe we will have you fired! Now get behind me!"he said, quoting Jesus about Satan. Dejected and stung, Simon headed to the back row.

"I see why he broke up with her," remarked Dipper.

"Those two are Summer and Augustus," explained Mrs. Constant. "They're the pastor's children."

"No way," replied Dipper incredulously.

"It just shows you how some pastors families are when the love of God doesn't mean anything to their kids," said George Constant. "Their parents don't raise 'em up right, and they think that just 'cuz they know the Bible, they're holy enough to treat people the way they do."

Church would be perfect if they weren't here every Sunday. But I didn't say so.

"It happens to a lot of Christian families," I told Dipper. "But not to all."

Then Pastor Warm bid us all good morning and told us to rise up together and worship God. I was glad, because I feared that I would sound defensive.

After all, I was a pastor's kid myself.

KHUH'V D ZHLUG ULGGOH: FK _ _ FK.

"F-f-f-fixin' it with Soos!"

-cue Fixin' It With Soos theme song-

Scene: Soos stands in his bedroom of the Mystery Shack, ready to introduce a problem he can solve.

"Hey dudes," waves Soos. "Welcome to Fixin' It With Soos. The only home fix-it show that I edited myself on my own computer.'

"High five!" An enormous hand comes on the screen next to Soos, who high fives it.

"Thanks clip art hand." The hand moves off screen. "Today, I have this broken cuckoo clock." He shows said broken cuckoo clock. "As you can see, it's tore up from the floor up. Stan knocked it down the other day by accident."

Flashback: Stan is standing over the cuckoo clock with a bat in his hands in the living room.

"STOP MAKING THAT NOISE!" Stan yells, smashing the cuckoo clock on the floor. "I HATE YOU! This is definitely not an accident!"

Flashback ends.

"I'm gonna fix it up," explains Soos. "And when I'm done, Stan will rate my handiwork on the Awesome-ometer." He lifts up a large card stock with a drawn thermometer and the word "Awesome-ometer."

"High five!" the clip art reappears.

"Not- not now, bro," replies Soos, waving him off.

Scene transition: Duct tape! Wood glue! Hey, you!

ZKDW'V PLVVLQJ?

After the worship service, the children all filed down to the finished basement for Sunday School. Dipper and I followed after Ruthie, Naomi, and the Dale kids, who were taught by Mrs. Dale and me. Well, sort of; I was more of an unpaid assistant. So, like my job the rest of the week.

We all filed into a line as we headed downstairs. Dipper looked a little uneasy, like it was the first day of actual school.

"Come on, Dipper," I encouraged. "It may be a little juvenile, but it'll be fun, I promise."

He followed me the rest of the way down, slow and awkward.

We all sat around a table, while Mrs. Dale went up to a white board and began to draw out today's lesson. Mrs. Dale was a nice black woman, with hair neatly constructed into tiny braids. She apparently hired at least three babysitters five days a week to get chores done, have some spare time for her hair, and time to bake snacks for her Sunday School class. It wasn't hard for her so much teaching as it was keeping her kids under control.

"All right, everyone," started Mrs. Dale. "Today, we're going to learn about – Randy, Mommy's talking now, thank you. Today, we're going to learn about David and Goliath being able to – Michelle, don't pass notes to Naomi – to overcome our fears and dangers. Now, we're going to start with – Mickey, I see you making faces over there! – reading the story of David in the book of – You two stop kicking each other under the table right now! – first Samuel, chapter – I mean it you two! Knock it off! – Seventeen, verse – Don't make me come over there! – verse one. Now let's get started – Deborah, take your finger out of your nose, please."

While we did a semi-focused lesson on the story of David and Goliath and the meaning in the story, I helped Mrs. Dale by separating the trouble-makers with different activities, like having a brother and sister color pages from a coloring book, or having wild Randy work with glum Naomi on decorating a felt board. I worked the most with Ruthie. She was a shy girl, and aside from me, didn't really know how to interact with the sprightly children of the Dale family.

"Here, Ruthie," I said. "Do you want me to help you cut out your 'sword of the spirit?'" It was in an activity book, with the verse "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. - Romans 8:37, NIV.

"Sure," she replied, handing me the scissors she was holding dangerously in her tiny hands.

"Oh wait, you didn't color it," I remarked. "Why don't you color it?"

"Can you help me?" she asked, holding a yellow crayon.

"Nice color choice," I answered, guiding her hand around the edges of her cut out sword.

"Thanks, Izzy," she answered.

All this time, Dipper sat across from me, flipping pages of an open Bible, and seeming lost in the pages. "What are you looking for, Dipper?" I asked, while Ruthie continued where I left off.

"I'm just trying to figure out where the history of the Israelites starts," he told me. "I figured out where the history of the world starts, but I'm trying to find out where Saul where first became king. I got lost somewhere in Leviticus."

"Oh, try reading the beginning of first Samuel," I suggested. "That's where the history is. The books of Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy are mostly books of Jewish law, but there are some stories about what happens to the Israelites. If you want to know how the Israelites got to the Promised Land, then got back further into the last chapters of Genesis and the book Exodus, and into the last chapters of Deuteronomy, and read the book of Joshua."

"Izzy, can you cut out my sword?" piped Ruthie.

"Sure thing, kiddo," I said, taking the scissors again and cutting closely along the edge.

"So, how's the Bible interesting you?" I asked Dipper while concentrating on my task.

"These stories are unbelievable!" he replied. "Who knew that there was so much supernatural activity in the Middle East? There were giants, angels, demons, and – and this is all recorded in history!"

"It gets better," I told him. "What until you read about the Flood, and about Moses and the Burning Bush, and the talking donkey, and the day the sun didn't set, and –"

"Wait – don't spoil it for me!" he cried, flipping through chapters. "If I had only known that the Bible had so many supernatural occurrences recorded, I would've bought one years ago."

"And history's most widely read book satisfies again," I remarked. I had finished cutting out Ruthie's sword, which she waved heroically.

"Careful there, Ruthie," I said. "You wouldn't want to accidentally hurt someone with that sharp sword."

"I'm David's sister, and you're Goliath's sister," she replied, beaming a baby-toothed smile.

"Better watch out," I warned. "Your brother killed my brother, and I'm not happy about that at all." I stood on my toes, and pretended to growl with fury.

"Oh no, I'm not scared of you! I got the sword of the spirit!"

"Oh no! My weakness! Don't come near me with that! No! No!" I began running in circles while she chased me, until she stabbed me in my calf. Dipper just smiled, rolled his eyes, and continued to read the Bible.

"Oh, you got me!" I went down like a tower of blocks, and she stood on top of me in victory.

"I killed her!" she called triumphantly.

"I hope not," remarked Mrs. Dale. "Now that's enough, you two. It's snack time."

While Ruthie ran to get her apple juice and cookies, I slowly got up from the floor and chuckled to myself. I knew that after snack time I was going to help Randy clean up the mess he made with the felt board, and try to engage Deborah and Ruthie in a game of "Slingshot Bowling" (without the actual slingshot), but it never got tedious. Spending time with these kids was one of the highlights of my week.

Dipper got up at last to grab a cookie, still absorbed in Scripture.

With all the fun we're having, I thought. I wonder what fun Mabel and Soos are having without us at the Mystery Shack.

X U

Scene: Soos' room, where Soos is holding up the taped up cuckoo clock.

"Almost there," says Soos. "Although something's off."

The bottom half of the clock falls apart. Soos ponders his dilemma.

"Aha!" he exclaims. "It needs decorations!"

Mabel then walks into the room, sipping from a juice box. "Oooo, make it leopard print," she suggests.

The next shot shows the clock in leopard print and a dangling fuzzy dice. Mabel is now eating a bag of chips.

"Ahhhh, what else does it need?" she asks.

"A beach house!" replies Soos. "So the cuckoo can live in style."

Scene ends.

Scene: Soos' room, where Soos and Mabel have added a beach house next to the clock, along with some toy birds next to the cuckoo bird's hollow.

"Now the bird's gonna need some homies," says Soos.

Scene change for close up.

Soos points to each bird he placed and names them. "I'll call you Curt, Jayden, Carlos, and Diandre."

Scene change to just Soos and Mabel, who name off other decorations for the cuckoo clock.

"Some boom boxes!" says Soos.

"A slide, and a ball pit!" says Mabel.

"A pyro-technics kit!"

"Real animal fur!"

"Lasers! LASERS, DUDE!"

Scene change: Still Soos' room. Something glows off screen, the project which Soos and Mabel have decorated together.

"What do you think?" asks Mabel.

"It's too dull," says Soos. "I can't cope!"

Scene ends.

WLPH IOLHV ZKHQ BRX EXLOG D FORFN

The class cleaned up the mostly Dale made mess, and we headed downstairs to either go home, mingle with some of the fellow churchgoers, or else remain for a Bible study. Dipper and I remained to mingle with some of the churchgoers.

Dipper asked Mrs. Dale, "Say, I was wondering if I could borrow this book?"

"The children's Bible?" she asked for clarification.

"Sure," he said. "It's a long book, and I'd like to finish reading through some of the stories."

"I have a Bible at home, Dipper," I said. "You could borrow mine."

"You sure?" he asked, handing the Bible back to Mrs. Dale.

"Of course! In fact, I actually have a study Bible you can read. It gives you information on the culture of the Bible days, and has biographies of the Bible characters,; it's a great tool for understanding the rest of text."

"All right," he said. "Can you give it to me when we get back to the Mystery Shack?"

"Dipper, you can have that book for the whole summer," I said. "You think you want to – "

"Isannah!" A familiar church face beamed as she crossed the fellowship hall to greet me.

"Oh, Ms. Fluke, what's up?"

"Nothing much. I just wanted to see how my favorite young Bible student is doing."

"Just fine, Ms. Fluke. How was the sermon?"

"I hated it," she said with a smile. "But I don't come here for them anyway."

In that moment, I felt as awkward as Dipper. I never knew someone to just blatantly admit such an opinion, and within church, at that.

She fixed her gaze on him, and the moment passed. "And who's the young man with you today?"

"Oh, this is Dipper Pines."

"Dipper Pines?"

A queer look came over her face, for a moment.

Then she smiled. "You don't say … I never knew that Stanford had a son."

"Oh no no no – I'm his nephew! My sister and I are just staying for the summer," explained Dipper.

"How do you know Stan?" I asked her.

"Oh, everyone knows Mr. Mystery of the Mystery Shack."

"Yeah, his reputation proceeds him, unfortunately."

"Oh, I have to be somewhere – Isannah, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be setting up a Bible study soon at my house, and I wanted you to come. I'll let you know when. Don't tell anyone else yet; it's a surprise."

"All right, see you next week."

Dipper and I passed through the front doors after her, heading for the golf cart.

"Oh, you know what, that reminds me: Dipper, do you wanna come back next week? I hear that Mr. Dale is going to start a youth group and get his oldest kids involved."

As we seated, Dipper contemplated for a moment. His pensive look made me think that maybe he wouldn't want to come back.

Just as I started the cart, he said, "Only if Mabel comes with us."

I couldn't contain my smile. We drove out of the driveway, and back to the Shack.

MHVXV ORYHV WKH OLWWOH FKLOGUHQ, DOO WKH OLWWOH FKLOGUHQ RI WKH ZRUOG.

Scene: Living room, where Soos stands next to the cuckoo clock, ready to unveil it for Stan to see. Mabel stands next to him, holding the 'Awesome-ometer,' while Stan stands across from them, arms crossed, looking bored.

"Mr. Pines," says Soos. "Are you ready for the grand unveiling of your brand new cuckoo clock?"

"You've joined forces with Mabel," Stan replies. "This is an unsettling development."

Soos pulls the cover off the clock. "Voila!"

The cuckoo clock is crazy assortment of music, lights, a toy beach house, speakers, a gumball machine, a satellite, a pair of sunglasses, a wig, a toy car, a syrup bottle with the top of a baseball trophy, and a marquee scrolling the message "THIS IS AN AWESOME CUCKOO CLOCK," among other things.

"So Stan, what do you think?" asks Soos.

Stan gives the creation a puzzling look."Why is it permanently set to 1:50?"

"It's hands are in the air," replies Soos, "like it just doesn't care."

Out of the cuckoo hollow springs a thumbs up that says "RAD."

Soos holds it in his arms and asks Stan, "So, one to ten; what do you give it?"

"Well," says Stan. "It doesn't make that horrible cuckoo sound anymore, so – I don't know – ten out of ten – whatever."

Soos is so happy he drops the cuckoo clock and it breaks to pieces.

Scene ends.

Scene transition: Lots of explosions, most of them with problems. SOLVED!

Scene: Soos computer room, with Soos sitting near the desk of his computer, where it is still rendering the previous scene transition.

"Join us next time as we fix my computer," he says, "because I think I crashed it permanently making some of those graphics."

His computer proceeds to explode and catch fire.

"Did we get that? Save it for the explosions reel!"

"Hey guys!" Mabel called from downstairs as Isannah and her twin walked through the door. "You're ho-ome!

"What's burning?"asked Dipper.

Scene ends.

UHG, BHOORZ, EODFN DQG ZKLWH, WKHB DUH SUHFLRXV LQ KLV VLJKW

RK, MHVXV ORYHV WKH FKLOGUHQ RI WKH ZRUOG!