Authors Note:

And now we have our real true villain, aside from the environmental villains I mean.

Only about 200 survivors returned from the "war" to reclaim Wall Maria, out of 250,000 so I think from here we're just going to let things happen. I'm not saying everyone died... maybe some people merely existed outside the walls, maybe some of them were able to take up residency in a small hut or outlier house. Right now we're down to around 3-400 survivors in this group.

Some quick math - if Levi was born in 818, he'd be 26 in 845. If Bernell had met Tom at 12, got married at 15, got pregnant at 16, she'd be 21. Just so we're clear cuz math is dumb and hard. 5 year age difference between the two.

::RAPE::


Bernell held the now cold food in her hands as she sat in her cot. There was plenty for all three of them, though the boys had fallen asleep nearly immediately - after crawling into the same bed of course. She brushed her hair back, and dug in. The fish was cold but delicious. She smiled at the side of mushrooms that Lisa had obviously thrown in just for her and the boys. The bread was flat and stale, but filling. Gabriel mumbled and rolled over, making Bernell grin as she licked the food off her fingers. Abashed she realized she'd eaten everything on the plate. She grimaced at the taste in her mouth and went outside, her toothbrush and cleaning powder in hand. The ground wascold enough to shoot straight up through the sole's of her feet and into her shins. The muscles ached with the chill. She rushed to the horses pen, dumping a small amount of water on the plate and swishing it around before dumping the liquid and putting the plate in the cart. She dusted her brush with the oral powder and started scrubbing furiously, paying close attention to her tongue.

She hated smelling bad. She hated her breath smelling bad. She gargled and spat, dancing foot to foot. Looking around, shivering uncontrollably, she wet a rag and quickly washed her face, neck, and arm pits. She tossed the rag into the wagon and raced back into her tent, curling beneath the blankets, rubbing her feet together furiously to try and restore warmth to her frozen limbs. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. The tent flapped in the breeze, the cold seemed to creep up and around the edges of her terrible bed. She felt the tears leak out of her eyes, dampen the jacket she was using as a pillow. It was better than the pile of hay they'd been sleeping on, at least.

She smiled with her eyes closed. She could imagine walking down the streets to her home, her little house stood proudly in defiance of its larger neighbors. A quaint one story smooshed between two large store fronts with second stories made for living quarters. It was Tudor style, with white-washed walls. Dirt had turned them more of a brownish grey at the bottom three feet. The windows were framed by soft yellow curtains. Light shone out towards the street. It was eerily quiet. She moved forward, her shoes clicking loudly on the cobblestone street beneath her. The door gave way easily. Bernell felt annoyance surge. Tom hadn't locked it. Again.

Her mouth opened to admonish him, but the complaints died on her lips. He was laying in the bed with the boys, reading one of her books to them. Ezra was sleeping, looking like a doll in comparison to his father's size. Gabriel blinked once, struggling to open his eyes. Smiled and nodded sleepily. Blinked again and fell forward. Tom suppressed a giggle as he met her face.

God was he beautiful. Graceful, powerful, strong, understanding. He slid from the boys bed, pausing to tuck them in, kissing each on the forehead before turning to her. He moved across the room and Bernell felt the electric pull towards him. She stepped forward, meeting him as he grabbed her, pulling him against his chest. Passion erupted in her - she didn't know why, but she missed him. She missed him powerfully. Tears fell down her face as he kissed her deeply, pulling back and peppering her face, kissing her tears away. He moved a hand to her hair, tangling his fingers in it as her mouth searched along his neck, his jawline, for his mouth. His hand tightened painfully.

"Ow." She whispered as his hands ravaged. They were cold. So cold.

"Tom!" Her house was dark and damp now, cloth instead of plaster and wood.

Her eyes jolted open as the mouth crushed against hers. confused she squealed in her throat, moving her hands to push the man back. He grabbed her harder, making tears of pain well and spill over. Her scalp felt as though it were bleeding. His other hand was free, moving to pull her pants down. She struggled and squirmed against him, feeling his arousal pressing against the skin of her stomach. Her dinner roiled around, threatening to come back up. She could feel it in her throat, taste it at the back of her mouth.

"Shut. Up!" The voice growled.

Bernell stilled.

"M..." Her voice choked, she swallowed. Stomach acid was in her nose. "Mark?" Her words were hollow, thin and weak.

He growled, thrusting into her. The pain made her gasp and buck. It burned, it hurt.

"Oh God." She cried, biting down on her lip to keep from crying. She looked over at her children. They were asleep. They were still asleep.

Mark grunted above her, panting and grabbing as though... as though he liked what was happening between them. As though he was enjoying it. Bernell was in shock, her mind refusing to believe the reality. He couldn't enjoy this. He couldn't be doing this. He was supposed to be...

The hero? Her thoughts mocked her as the tears fell silently.

"Hurry up." a voice outside the tent hissed, "Someone is coming."

Mark laughed low, guttural. "Nothing like a little pressure."

He rooted his hands at her hips, pumping furiously. She could feel the sweat gathering at his waist, see it shine on his forehead and his teeth met in a grimace. He sighed, throwing his head back. She could feel it. She could feel him filling her as Tom once had. He lay inside her for a moment as he became limp, his member sliding out of her. She felt herself shrink away in revulsion. She could feel the trail of cum follow his withdrawal.

"Good girl." He growled as he put himself away, nodding at her kids. "Keep quiet and they'll never have to know."

He left her then, the man who had been keeping watch leaving with him. For a moment Bernell could hear nothing, see nothing. what had just happened couldn't have really happened. it couldn't have. Mark was a good man... wasn't he? He was supposed to be. Everyone thought he was. She had thought he was. As her mind slowed, as the events processed and her stomach calmed she could hear the noises outside.

Other women's stifled cries, moans. The shuffling of feet and grunts of men coming to completion. Dazed Bernell rose, pulling her pants up, aware of the moisture - of the aching, ignoring it. She wandered through the camp aimlessly, catching the wary or mocking gaze of those who knew exactly what had happened to her. a baby cried out, the faint wailing carrying over the distance. Bernell froze, her mind racing. Without hesitation she made her way back to the boys, her shuffling walk turning quickly to a run. Her feet burned, her toes were numb - but she had to know, she had to stop -

She pulled up, stopping just short of Lisa's tent. both the older boys were standing in front of the door. Bernell's questioned them without a word. She noticed the oldest held a knife, his sleeve was bloodied.

"Is that yours or-?"

He shook his head, refusing to speak.

"Is she okay?"

He nodded, his chin quivering. Bernell put a hand on his shoulder, then pulled him in for a hug.

"You are a good boy." She whispered, holding him tight as his shoulders shook in her arms.

The other boy raced forward, flinging himself at her. They fell to the ground in the cold, sobbing and holding one another until Lisa came out, shooing them back to their tents, assuring them the baby was asleep and she was fine. Lisa shared a look with Bernell before she left. the question was unspoken.

Are you okay?

Bernell shook her head, dropping her gaze. Lisa's eyes filled with tears, one hand moving to her mouth while the other reached out to her. Bernell held up her hands, stepping away.

I can't do this.

Lisa nodded, watching instead as Bernell made her way back to her tent, where she slept heavily nearly immediately.


The morning came weirdly fast, slapping her in the face with a blast of cold. Bernell felt sore all over. She looked to the boys. They still slept soundly, their small chests rising and falling. Slowly, cautiously she pulled her pants down, inspecting her under clothes. She grimaced at what she saw. Blood, dried cum. The smell was atrocious.

And he planned to do it again.

She pulled on her socks and boots, braced herself, and stood in one quick motion. The pain she felt was much worse now. Between the wagon seat and being violated her whole body ached. Quickly she moved to the horse pen outside. She had a plan, she was going to hitch up Cerberus. They were far enough out now that no one would notice them. She would get the golden mare tethered. They'd grab supplies and they'd-

"What are you doing?" A young woman confronted her.

Bernell sized her up. She was wearing a Garrison uniform, her hands rested on her sword handles. She looked at ease, but her stance belied her calm. She was ready to strike her down.

"Deserters are killed." She growled.

Bernell couldn't help her laugh, "Don't we die anyway?"

The woman pulled back at the mania in her voice, "A-are you okay?"

"Mark and half the other soldiers raped a handful of the women out here last night." She growled, "Do you think I'm okay?!" the woman stepped back, her gaze falling. Bernell felt her fire die. "You knew? You knew and didn't-"

"What's going on?"

For some reason Bernell felt herself grow small at the voice.

"M-Mark." the woman saluted. "Commander Mark!"

"What are you ladies talking about?" He leaned back, draping an arm over Bernell's shoulder.

She shivered, her eyes widening. She could see the soldier's gaze pale.

"Come, Bernell." He whispered in her ear. "Wake those boys of yours. Let's have breakfast. The least I can do for you after... everything."

Bernell pushed away, that word, how he said it - finally snapped something awake inside of her.

"You raped me." She gasped, spinning out of his reach. "You hurt me, you violated me."

He shook his head sadly. "I thought we were sharing something special, I thought you liked me."

"My husband just died!" She screeched.

His hand shot out, striking her across the face. Shocked she tumbled back into the female soldier.

"Sir!" She protested, "I don't think-"

"You're dismissed." He snapped. "Unless you want her punishment you will go to your quarters."

She helped Bernell stand, trembling in anger and fear. "I'm sorry." She whispered, before turning and saluting again.

Bernell watched her walk away. Mark caught her gaze, his smile twisted again; far more sinister than those moments before in the church, in the basement. Bernell shook her head. She had known. She had seen it. But she had thought it was all in her head, she had thought...

"Wake. Them." he growled, touching her sensitive cheek tenderly. "And we'll get this looked at. You really should be more careful around the horses."


His tent was opulent in comparison to her own. In comparison to most the others. It was at least twice the size, a fire pit had been dug out to heat his room. He had a fur blanket covering his bed. A small table laden with food sat near the foot of his bed, a rug lay over the ground. Two of the soldiers stood guard at the door way, saluting as he approached and raising the tent flaps to allow him and his guests to enter. Immediately the boys took off, bouncing on the bed, moving to sit before the fire, grabbing fruit from the table and eating it on the rug greedily.

"They missed dinner last night." Bernell spoke before she could process the words. An apology she was used to making in normal circumstances.

"It's alright." He grinned widely, back to his charming self. "I like kids. I could get use to this. After everything with Tom and surviving - well, all this. I feel like you're family. I feel like they're mine almost." He dropped a hand to Gabriel's head, ruffling his hair.

Bernell felt sick. "What if we all die out here?"

He paused, his face growing angry before it smoothed with a smile, "Well, if we die out here why waste that time being angry?" He shrugged, pulling out a chair.

"About last night," she bristled immediately. "No no, calm down. I realize I went about things the wrong way. I should have asked you first, but you looked so beautiful laying there... I'd like it if you visited my tent tonight instead."

She pulled back, her eyes scanning the room in panic. "No!" She spat.

"Now, now." He admonished, taking a bite of a peach. The juice ran down his chin and dripped on his pants. He met her gaze and smiled that disgusting same smile. "Before you say no think of how much awful things I could put you and your kids through. I can always just force it anyway."

"Boys!" Bernell snapped, reluctantly they stood and followed her to the tent.

"Be here or else!" His shout followed her past the guards, who exchanged confused looks.

Bernell couldn't quell the rage she felt, snapping at the boys till they were in the cart, even being rough with Cerberus. It wasn't until they'd been traveling for another two hours that she felt less agitated, less angry. The cold, the exhaustion, her children, her hunger... all of it had sapped her energy. They were traveling in a larger group now, far enough out that the fear of titans had diminished greatly for the majority. Between the lack of titan sightings and the fact that they were meeting up with the Scouting Corps moods were lighter, higher, than they had been in a long while. Bernell didn't feel light, she could recognize the other victims by their sour demeanor. they shared a glance and then looked away, ashamed further by the recognition of the pain in another.

A rider came beside the wagon, a young red headed man.

"We'll be stopping for lunch soon." He nodded, the kids look like they could use some food. We're supposed to be at our destination by sunset. That'll give us enough time to set up and everything." He was excited, Bernell couldn't help but share his enthusiasm.

He was as awkward as a sack of potatoes in his saddle, but his horse bore him with patient calm. Gold flashed nearby and Bernell knew it was Mark. He had taken to riding the little mare, though she clearly disagreed.

He likes to ride things that don't want him to. She thought grimly, her smile fading into a straight line. The young man had ridden off to tell the others. Lisa's hand snaked up, resting heavily on Bernell's shoulder. She had wept for her friend and protector, wept harder than Bernell herself had.

"Just remember to smile." Lisa whispered. "We'll slit his throat later."

Bernell bit her cheek to stop the growl coming out as he approached, his charming smile back on.

"Beautiful day for a ride." He commented cheerily. "We're stopping for food soon. Is that what that little kid was telling you?" He shot a look back at the red head. "He's just a child. What were you smiling at him like that for?"

Bernell felt the humor leave her when she realized he was jealous of the boy. "He was kind." She responded blandly, pinning him with a gaze. "Kindness gets you a lot in this world."

His face turned sour. Immediately Bernell wondered if she'd said the right thing. He looked off ahead at a sudden noise and Bernell inched her hand to the knife strapped at her boot. If she could just reach it she should stab him suddenly, quickly and-

"They're here!" His gasp stopped her, she looked ahead.

In the distance were black dots littering the snowscape, thundering towards them. It had to have been the Survey Corps coming to meet them. In just hours they'd be rescued by people like Erwin and Levi. Bernell felt a cold sweat break out. These were hard men and women, these were people who saw and dealt with death everyday by choice.

If Mark was this bad, how much worse would they be?