Chapter Eight

The next day, Johnny and Roy drove to the hospital, still on their own free time, and decided to "interrogate" Dixie. Joanne was very disgruntled with Roy, not liking his constant absence and running around the city with Johnny. Johnny himself didn't particulary enjoy this large task that just seemed to be dragging on. But, he kept convincing himself that it was for the benefit of Dr. Brackett, who was totally innocent of all the charges brought against him. As the two medics entered the hospital, they became more and more aware of how painful this interrogation session would be for Dixie. Certainly not physically, but emotionally; bringing up bad memories would do no good for her. As much as Roy hated to do this to his favorite nurse, it had to be done. They needed a prime suspect and this Baker fellow seemed to fit the bill. They just needed Dixie to help them discern a reasonable motive.

Roy first figured that maybe Baker framed Brackett because he wanted the young doctor out of the way so he could get Dixie back. He must have known that Dixie worked at Rampart otherwise, what would be the point? So far, he and Johnny had established no basis for Baker wanting to get revenge on Brackett. Did Baker hear about Dixie and Brackett's engagment and get riled up? What could possibly spur something like this?

Johnny had argued with Roy and said that framing someone just to get your ex back was a little extreme. He said that there had to be something more to it. Some benefit. Unless, Baker really was as sick as Peggy said, and just wanted to see Brackett in jail and away from Dixie so he could have her all to himself.

As they walked up to the head nurse's station, they took a deep breath and tried to develop as much confidence as they could; this would take firmness and aggressiveness.

"Hey guys," Dixie greeted from her station, forcing a weak smile onto her downtrodden face. "Hey," Johnny replied, trying to be cheerful. Roy tapped her desk and leaned on it nonchalantly.

"How are things here?" he asked. Dixie shrugged. "Adminstration is hiring a new doctor. He's supposed to be on the job tomorrow morning."

"I heard about that," Roy said, "And that's what we want to talk to you about."

Dixie looked puzzled. "What?" she echoed. Johnny grabbed her shoulder gently.

"Let's talk over some coffee in the break room," he suggested.

Dixie frowned at the two paramedics, knowing that they were up to no good. The only time they were doing good was when they were working. Most of the time, they were either snooping around or causing trouble…Well, Johnny was, anyway.

The trio sat down at the table in the break room and Johnny fetched some coffee. When they were seated comfortably, Roy, much to his own chagrin, started the conversation.

"Dix, do you know the name of the man they're hiring?" he asked slowly.

Dixie shook her head. "No…" she replied, just as slow.

Roy took a deep breath and let it out.

"His name is Dr. Derek Arthur Baker," Roy said.

Dixie's jaw dropped and her eyes went as round as saucers. Without a moment's hesitation, she got up and ran to the break room door. Johnny ran after her and grabbed her arm.

"Let me go!" she shouted. Johnny sat her back down at the table, with difficulty, and tried to get her to listen.

"Dix, we need your help!" he pleaded. Dixie scowled at him. "No, I'm not staying here a moment longer. Not with Derek!" she said, her voice wavering.

"We have reason to believe that Baker is the reason Brackett is in jail," Roy explained, "We think he might have framed him."

Dixie's forhead creased in anxiety and she strugged to get away from Johnny's grip on her upper arm.

"Johnny," she begged, "Please let me go! I have to get out of here! I have to get away! Before Derek finds me! If he finds me, he'll kill me!"

Roy grabbed both of her shoulders and led her to the couch, sitting her down.

"You need to listen!" he ordered, "We just want the full story! If we can come up with a reasonable motive for Baker to frame Brackett, we can get Baker arrested and you won't have to run. Just work with me here!"

Dixie stopped struggling and looked Roy in the eyes for a moment. She then looked down and started to cry. Johnny looked at Roy with disdain and mouthed the words, "What did you do to her?"

Roy shrugged. Dixie wiped her tears away with and finally relaxed. "What do you need to know? How did you figure out that Derek and I were…?"

"A lot of driving around," Roy said simply.

Dixie frowned. "I thought I'd shaken him off," she said, almost shuddering, "I knew he'd find me eventually. It was bound to happen sooner or later. My God, if he finds me now, he'll kill me. He must know I work here."

Roy sat next to Dixie and put her hand in his. "Why would he want to kill you?" Roy asked softly. Dixie rubbed her temple and squeezed her eyes shut. "It's a long story," she mumbled. "Then you better start from the beginning," Roy said solemnly. Dixie looked at him again and sighed.

"Derek and I were high school sweethearts," she began her tale, "We got married when we graduated and then we attended college. Derek went to Geffen Medical School and I went to Bakersfield to learn. It was hard being away from each other, but we got to see each other on the weekends, sometimes.

"Derek was always kind of….off, I guess. He was really touchy when anybody commented about him or displayed kindness towards me. He had some jealousy issues. Anyhow, Derek really wanted us to have a baby. I told him it would be a bad idea, since we were both still in school. He agreed with me, but reluctantly so. Well, we got to be together all during the summer and that was the summer I met Kelly. Derek introduced me to him at a party…said they were best friends. After I met Kel, I realized just how nice people could be and how Derek was turning me against everyone. He was always bitter about something and his jealousy and bitterness infected me and I just didn't know it until, like I said, I met Kelly. I also remember that summer as the summer I got pregnant. I found out about a week or so after the party and Derek was all excited."

Johnny and Roy nodded; they had heard this part from Peggy. Dixie then took a deep breath and continued.

"Well, during the summer, Derek stopped letting me out of the apartment we shared. He said he didn't want any harm to befall me. He said he would protect me from the 'cruel people out in the world'." Dixie then laughed harshly.

"He was a liar. He never did anything for me. I stayed home alone all day, scared that he wouldn't come back or that I wouldn't be able to protect myself if anything happened. I got a phonecall from Peggy one day, and she informed me that Derek had been cheating on me with several of my classmates. He met them at the party where I met Kel. I was furious when I found out." Dixie clenched her fist in Roy's hand and he gently let go of her. Both Johnny and Roy could sense the rage that was coming off of the troubled nurse.

"I confronted him about it one time…it was a big mistake. He hit me," Dixie said, her voice shaky, "He hit me and I was out cold. I woke up, just as alone as I usually was. I then got terrified whenever he came home. He'd come home drunk and violent and loaded for bear. I'd lock myself in the bedroom, and the times when I wasn't quick enough to hide, he'd beat me. He beat the bloody hell out me and I sat there and took it. I don't know why I stayed. I was foolish then, I suppose. Maybe I still am. But, I just loved him too much to leave him. I can't quite understand it. He made me feel like it was my fault I was getting beat. He said I deserved it, that if I was a better wife, he wouldn't be forced to treat me the way he did. I believed him…I believed every word he said to me, every lie, because I was blinded by love and loyalty to him."

Roy shook his head and Johnny sat there, dumbfounded.

"Oh, Dix," Roy said, pulling her in for a light hug. If there was one thing that paramedics were good at, it was comforting people. This was one thing they were highly trained in: keeping people calm and making them feel better. Even if things were going terribly, Roy was able to comfort the patients, whether with kind words or gentle reassurance, he could do it.

"We all do things that don't make sense," Johnny tried to encourage her, "Love can blind everyone at one time or another…even people who think they're strong and resilient still can trick themselves into doing, well, things that will only hurt them in the long run."

Roy frowned and looked at his partner, who was staring at Dixie with sorrow in his eyes. Roy had a feeling that Johnny was speaking from experience…he seemed to know what he was talking about. There just seemed to be something more behind what the young paramedic was saying; more than Roy could ever understand.

"What happened then? Did you leave?" Johnny asked.

Dixie cast a sideways glance. "Well, it was during a weekend when I went into labor and I called Peggy and had her drive me to the hospital. Derek was out drinking with some friends while I was in the hospital and after I gave birth. I called him when he was home and told him where I was and he refused to come, said there was no need. If there was ever a need, it was right then. I needed reaasurance from someone I loved, and granted Peggy was my best friend, she wasn't my husband. The whole situation felt wrong and I felt betrayed because of Derek's whole inattention. Well, I…" Dixie's voice faltered and she laid her head on Roy's shoulder while Johnny patted her on the back, something he wasn't used to doing to anyone.

"I had to do the right thing," she rasped, "I laid awake many nights during my pregnancy, trying to decide if what I wanted to do was truly right. I knew I could never raise a child with Derek being the drunken bastard he was. I also knew that juggling school and the care of a child by myself would never work. I wanted to give my baby the best of everything, and I knew having only one parent would be so unfair to him…so I…I gave him up for adoption after he was born. I never saw him again after I gave him up…I don't even know if he is still alive."

Roy couldn't believe what he was hearing; how could someone go on with their life for as long as Dixie had, bearing a hidden cross? She had obviously never told anyone else what she was telling him and Johnny, and it was causing her a great deal of pain to do so. Her eyes were staring off into the distance, back with the child she gave up so many years ago.

"Not a day goes by when I don't think about my baby," Dixie confessed tearfully, "Hoping what I did was best for him and for me. Hoping that I didn't make a mistake. I tried so many times to forget about him, but no matter how hard I try to shake it off, I can't. I feel like this is my punishment for making so many bad decisions. I tried to convince myself that it's not my fault, everything happening the way it did. But the truth of the matter is, I was an ignorant fool and I made bad choices. I still do…"

Johnny couldn't help but feel his heartstrings being tugged with every word Dixie said. Every sentence was so full of sincere emotion; he almost felt the pain she was going through.

"Giving my baby up was a pain I would never wish on anyone…I had to lie about it to Derek. I told him the baby was stillborn. I figured it would save us both a heap of pain. I was, as usual, wrong. He yelled at me, told me I was lying. He said there was no reason for the child to be dead. I didn't change my story and he remained furious. He stormed out and I was left in the apartment, still weak after having my baby. I only stayed in the hospital for the time that was necessary. After the adoption agency took my baby away, I left."

Roy pulled away from Dixie and looked her in the eyes.

"We talked to Peggy and she said that Derek knew you and her were friends. She said Derek made her cough up the wherabouts of the baby."

Dixie didn't move. She closed her eyes and turned her chin downwards.

"Derek raped her into telling him what happened to the baby. Peggy didn't have to endure that, but she did it, for me. He finally got her to tell, but even Peggy didn't know exactly what had happened. She just knew that I gave it up for adoption. She didn't know which agency or where they took it. I guess, after it happened, Peggy called me in tears and told me what had gone down and said that Derek was coming back to the apartment to kill me."

Johnny cringed. "Kill you?" he echoed. Roy gave his partner a dirty look; why couldn't he keep his thoughts to himself instead of voicing his outrage?

Dixie wiped one eye and continued. "Yes, kill me. As you can imagine, I didn't waste anytime in leaving. I packed my things, took every last cent of Derek's savings and left before he got back. I moved here and attended a different nursing school and completed my education. Everything had gone pretty smoothly, until Kel got arrested and Millie murdered. I knew that Derek must have had something to do with her murder from the moment I heard it…Millie was my mentor when I first attended school and Derek knew it. Maybe he figured killing her would be another way to weaken me, make me give myself up. Kel going to jail and Millie getting killed…I knew Derek had found me, was trying to get back at me. I just didn't know he would be working here. If he is, I have to say that he's had every opportunity to kill me. Why not now?"

Roy pursed his lips. "That's what we're trying to figure out," he murmured. Johnny twisted his mouth in a scowl of concentration. "Maybe he's planning something big? He doesn't start working until tomorrow. He might make a move then. If so, then we need to do some more probing."

Roy stood up and gave Johnny a look of agreement. "Right," he said, "But in the meantime, Dix, I want you to keep a low profile. I don't want Derek to hurt you, and like you said, he has the perfect opportunity to do so. Don't give him a chance; don't let him get you alone. Derek may be a psycho, but he is also a very smart man. He won't try anything when everyone is watching."

Dixie held Roy's gaze. "Then you don't know Derek," she said flatly, "He's a brazen fool and will do anything to gain attention, good or bad. Maybe I'll stick around Joe and Mike for awhile."

Roy nodded, "Whatever keeps you away from Derek is good enough for me," he said.