A/N: Hey, Roleplayer48, noting was preventing the postings of your reviews. I just barely got online a short time ago, and I was reading through them and collecting the stuff for this chapter, so that's why there was a delay. It's Utah, and there were cultural things that I needed to attended to, and treat my bum toe that is healing. I hope Lyra hasn't stolen Sunrise Blossom's potions again.
Chapter 8: Fight To The Death!
(Captain Crocodile signals the hippos, and they start to drum, the elephants trumpet their trunks, and the rhino soldiers do their signature march as the Stork leads the way to the royal platform and waves his bow in the air like a baton. When they reach the platform, Maid Marian holds the red velvet pillow that the golden arrow rests on.)
Prince John: (stands with an evil smile that leaves Little John concerned) Archer, I commend you, and because of your superior skill, you shall get what is coming to you.
Maid Marian: Indeed you shall. (Gives Robin the golden arrow) Here you are.
Robin Hood: (whispering) Thanks, Marian. Now let's get out of here before PJ...
Prince John: (interrupting) Our royal congratulations.
Robin Hood: (annoyed sigh) Ahem. (Regains his stork impression and begins shaking Prince John's hand wildly) Thank you kindly, Your Highness. Ya know, as I told that nice old Sheriff earlier, meetin' you face-to-face, Your High and Mighty, is one heck of a real treat.
Prince John: (yanks his paw away and makes sure that he has all his rings/jewels) RELEASE THE ROYAL FINGERS! Ah!
Robin Hood: So, uh...Marian? Sir Reginald? Let's go celebrate my victory down in Sherwood Forest...far away from here...right now...away from this ''kind'' prin...
Prince John: DON'T leave JUST yet! (Grabs his sword to tap both Robin Hood's shoulders)
Robin Hood: (gulps) I'm dead. (Forces himself to bow)
Prince John: And now, in this very moment of truth, I now name you the winner...
Little John: Uh oh.
Prince John: ...or more appropriately...(snickers then slices through Robin Hood's stork disguise revealing his true self)...THE LOSER! (Cackles as the crowd gasps and Little John, who knew this would happen, looks alarmed) Okay, boys. You know what to do.
Derek (the Rhino Guard): Uhh...what?
Prince John: (sighs) Seize him.
Derek (the Rhino Guard): Oh yeah. COME HERE YOU!
*The Rhino Guards jump at Robin Hood, who immediately jumps off the stilts and leads them on a merry run around the area until they all finally manage to dive at him, resulting in a dust cloud of shouts and fists. When the dust clears, Robin Hood is done up in chains.*
Prince John: I sentence you to sudden, instant and even...immediate DEATH!
Maid Marian: (begins to cry) Oh no! (Sniff) Oh!
Little John: I knew it, Rob! I just knew this was gonna happen to ya! I knew no good would come of this prank! But ya didn't listen!
Robin Hood: Okay, okay! I'm sorry, Johnny! You were right the whole time! I'll listen to you next time! I promise!
Prince John: (chuckles evily) Oh Robin, you DO realise that there isn't even going to BE a next time, right?
Maid Marian: (still crying) Please. Please, sire. I beg of you to spare his life. Please have mercy.
Prince John: Quit blubbering, emotional lady, and take your medicine like a man. Why SHOULD I spare this outlaw anyway? You don't make the rules.
Maid Marian: Rules? You're wanting to kill one of my friends!
Prince John: He is a traitor to the crown! And all traitors to the crown must die!
Robin Hood: (Outraged) TRAITORS TO THE CROWN? That crown belongs to King Richard. LONG LIVE KING RICHARD!
Crowd: (Shouting out) LONG LIVE KING RICHARD!
Prince John: (Shouted) ENOUGH! (Begins throwing a childish tantrum) I AM KING! KING! KING! AH! OFF WITH HIS HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAD-UH!
Captain Crocodile: Psst, Mr. Hippo Drummer!
Hippo Drummer: Hmm? Oh! Right!
*The Hippo Drummer plays the tune of an execution theme as an executioner, which is a rhino that's even creepier than the other ones, was heading for Robin Hood holding his axe ready to make with the chopping of the head. Everyone in the crowd knows there's nothing they can do to stop it, and all that Marian can do is cry in the arms of her friend Lady Kluck. Until...*
Prince John: (suddenly shouting in pain) STOP! EXECUTIONER, STOP! I HAVE ALL OF A SUDDEN CHANGED MY MIND! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD YOUR AXE!
Little John: (holding a knife to Prince John's back, forcing him to withdraw his orders) Alright, you little momma's boy. I'm done playin' games with the likes of you. I have a real sharp knife here and I ain't afraid to use it. Now tell those rhinos to untie my buddy or I'll...
Prince John: B-GEEK! Sheriff, release my buddy-EEK! I mean release THE PRISONER!
Sheriff: (confused) Wait, what? Untie the prisoner? Have ya lost your marbles?
Lady Kluck: You heard what he said, bushel britches!
Prince John: SHERIFF, I make the rules! And since I'M the head ma- (gets jerked from the back by Little John as if to say ''just get on with it'') Watch where you point that knife, you MEAN thing.
Little John: Okay. That does it. (presses the knife into Prince John's back even more)
Prince John: LET HIM GO! FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, LET! HIM! GO!
Lady Kluck: (cheering) YEE-HEE! LONG LIVE ROBIN HOOD! (Robin Hood frees himself as the crowd cheers with joy)
Derek (the Rhino Guard): Uhh...what...just happened? (The other rhinos just shrug)
Sheriff: I don't know myself, Derek. But one thing's for sure, there's somethin' funny goin' on around here. And I intend to find out what. Stay here. (Sneaks up to the back of the royal box)
Little John: (still holding a knife to Prince John's back) Now PJ, we're gonna be takin' our leave now. And you will swear to your very soul, if you have one, that you will forever leave Robby alone and let him be, or I've just found myself a new pin cushion.
Sheriff: WHY YOU! (Tries attacking Little John but gets uppercut by him which releases Prince John by mistake)
Prince John: KILL HIM! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! KILL HIM!
Derek (the Rhino Guard): Oh, I do wish the prince would make up his mind. I'm confused enough as it is.
Prince John: I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND, YOU NIMRODS! NOW, KILL HIM!
Derek (the Rhino Guard): Oh alright, fine.
*The fight begins as Little John hands Robin Hood a sword seemingly out of nowhere for him to use to fight back the rhino guards. This unfortunatley leaves Little John WITHOUT a weapon and all he's using to fight the rhinos with is a brown pole/stick. Well, it's better than nothing because Little John manages to fight them just fine. Especially if he uses it to poke them in they're tummies making them groan in pain, which he just now did to Derek. Meanwhile, Robin is still fighting against the other rhinos and Prince John is just about to strike with the sword he had in his paw earlier right behind him when...*
Robin Hood: Think fast, PJ! (Kicks the sword out of Prince John's hands with HIS sword)
Prince John: (beginning to panic) Don't hurt me!, No, no! Don't hurt me! Help! Help! (Runs from the royal box and hides behind the same barrel of ALE that Sir Hiss is still trapped in) KILL HIM!
(I just find it really funny that Prince John wants to hurt/kill Robin Hood but PANICS when the sword is directed toward HIM and begs Robin NOT to hurt/kill him! What a crybaby.)
Lady Kluck: Make a run for it, lassie! (Maid Marian does as she says) This is NO place for a lady!
Maid Marian: (pauses running in confusion) ...but...aren't YOU a lady?
Lady Kluck: No, I'm a girl chicken! Now go!
Maid Marian: Alright, alright! (Runs for it again, being careful not to trip on her long dress...or bloomers because of how long they are)
Lady Kluck: (walks up behind Derek who is still battling with Little John) TAKE THIS! (Pokes Derek in the butt with the golden arrow causing him to scream like Tom Cat) I think he's got the point. (Rimshot)
Sheriff: (grabs Lady Kluck's arms from behind her) GOTCHA! Now I...(Lady Kluck grabs HIS arm)...wait...what are you doing? (Gets flung over her shoulder) WHOA! OOF!
Lady Kluck: Take that, you scoundrel.
Maid Marian: (being chased by three wolf archers) HELP! (Stops to look behind her to see if she's still being chased when she SHOULD be RUNNING!) ROBIN, HELP!
*In a daring rescue, Robin Hood swings down from a large rope, grabbing the fair maiden and carries her to safety on top of Prince John's royal box.*
Robin Hood: So, uh, how was your day?
Maid Marian: Oh, you know, the usual. Going to an Archery Tournament, begging the prince not to kill you, running for my life from three wolf archers with a big long pointy arrow in they're hands, same as always. (The two of them fall through the high top curtain and land right on Prince John's throne) Oof!
Wolf Archer With A Sword 1: (begins sword fighting Robin Hood) Your luck runs out, Mr. Nice Guy.
Robin Hood: I didn't think you wolves could sword fight at all! I thought all you did was shooting with your bows and arrows nonstop!
Wolf Archer With A Sword 1: Well, maybe we wanted to try something completely different to make us feel more SPECIAL!
Wolf Archer With A Sword 2: Wait, we're NOT special?
Robin Hood: Oh, of course. How stupid of me. If you REALLY wanna feel special, you'd better take this special throne then.
All Wolf Archers With Swords: NO! DON'T! (Too late! Robin pushes the throne onto them causing them to get squashed) OW!
Robin Hood: Ha! Too easy. Bet you couldn't do that.
Maid Marian: I don't even think I'd even dare. I can't even sword fight at all! (Both laugh)
*Meanwhile, Lady Kluck is being chased by three hippos while Little John is STILL fighting with the rhino guards and forcing them into a small yellow-striped orange tent.*
Little John: Ooh, what a main event this is. (Laughs to himself)
Lady Kluck: (rushes into the tent from the other side with the hippos still chasing her forcing Little John out the front) 'Scuse me! Coming through!
Little John: Ho, this is startin' to get tense here. What a beautiful brawl! (Forces his way back into the tent at the same time Lady Kluck is kicked out the back by Derek)
Lady Kluck: Oof! Ooh, now I'll show you! (Pokes Derek in the butt again causing all the rhinos and hippos inside the tent to run blindly as Little John peers out the top)
Little John: Hm. This feels more relaxing. Kinda feels like riding on a choo choo train. (Realises something) WHAT A MINUTE! WHO'S EVEN DRIVIN' THIS FLYIN' UMBRELLA?!
(Well, it's definitely not Mary Poppins. That's for sure. You get the joke? Flying UMBRELLA? Mary Poppins? Huh, huh? Why is no one laughing at that joke?)
*While the crowd try to run away from the runaway tent as quickly as they possibly can, Robin Hood takes on sword fighting with Captain Crocodile near a pie stand where Trigger (a vulture that's a LOT smarter than Nutsy) sells pies.*
Maid Marian: Robin, when we get out of here, will you teach me how to use a sword?
Robin Hood: Of course I can!
Maid Marian: Wonderful! (picks up a pie and throws it in the face Captain Crocodile): Take that!
Captain Crocodile: Hey! Stop that!
Trigger: (appears from out of the pie stand) Say hello to my little friend called ''Ol' Betsy''! (Fires ''Ol' Betsy'' at Robin who ducks as the arrow bounces back at him after hitting Captian Crocodile's shield) YIPE! (Ducks as the arrow strikes the sign in the stand)
Maid Marian: Take that! (Throws a pie at Trigger's face and breaks down laughing with Robin)
Trigger: Okay, was a pie to the face REALLY necessary? I...wait a minute. What's that funny rumbling noise? (The runaway tent bursts through the pie stand as many of Trigger's pies fly right into Little John's face) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Captain Crocodile: (winces) This fighting is getting us nowhere. And the chaos is only making things worse. I'd better calm everyone down.
Robin Hood: Oh, so you give up? Am I free to go for now?
Captain Crocodile: Yeah, sure, fine, whatever. (Runs up to the centre of the field) Attention, everyone! (Gets run over by the runaway tent as Trigger lands on his back) D'OW! (Groaning in pain) Now I know what getting run over by a real train feels like.
Trigger: You're telling me. (Coughs)
(And Nutsy and Trigger will never be seen in this movie/fanfic ever again until much later on in the movie starting from the Jailbreak scene. Isn't it weird that certain characters get a certain amount of screentime or speaking roles or scenes to themselves at certain points of this movie and then either do or don't show up again at all later on as if the animators and script writers completley forgot they're even exist. Take Skippy and the kids for example. They only get like only TWO scenes such as Skippy's birthday, meeting Maid Marian and then that's it. Just cameo apperances later. Though Skippy does get a few lines near the end but that's not the point. And speaking of Maid Marian, after the Phony King of England song, she and Lady Kluck don't appear in the movie for a long time until the ending! Did you notice that? And then there's Otto who only has ONE scene all to himself and only shows up later as a cameo in a crowd of poor people throughout the rest of the film. Weird, isn't it, Dede42? Any thoughts you'd like to share on this matter?)
Sheriff: Uh, where did everybody go? (Notices the runaway tent heading his way) OH SWEET MERCY! LEG IT!
*The Sheriff tries to get away from the runaway tent by running as fast as he possibly can...which isn't really that fast at all considering his weight. But the tent eventually catches him along with Prince John's throne.*
Sheriff: (eyes Little John) Uh, how do you stop this thing?
Little John: That's what I've literally been asking myself the whole time, bushel britches. (Suddenly notices where the runaway tent is headed) Uh oh.
Sheriff: What?
Little John: We're headin' straight toward those two stone pillars that the trumpeting elephants stand on!
Sheriff: Oh no! Uh, Little John? I know it may against my better judgement to ask YOU of all people for help, but can you help me get off this thing before we cras...
Little John: (jumps away from the moving tent to rejoin Robin and the others) Sorry, Sheriff. You're on your own. I'm outta here!
Sheriff: Wait! No! Come back!
Elephant Trumpeter 1: 'Ere, mate. Do you see what I see?
Elephant Trumpeter 2: Hmm. Looks to me like a moving tent.
Elephant Trumpeter 1: Looks to me like we've been standing up on these stone pillars near the sun too long and we're seeing things.
Elephant Trumpeter 2: Are you sure about that, mate? For a hallucination from being in the sun too long, it's pretty loud and it looks like it's about to crash into us.
Elephant Trumpeter 1: Are your eyes working properly, bro? It's clearly going AROUND us.
Elephant Trumpeter 2: (sighs in relief) Phew. That's a relief. (Hears a train whistle seemingly from the runaway tent and jumps onto the other elephant) AH! Okay, NOW it's going to crash into us!
Elephant Trumpeter 1: You mean it's NOT a hallucination from being up here near the sun too long?
Elephant Trumpeter 2: No! Brace yourself!
*The runaway tent crashes right into the stone pillars making it falling to pieces as our heroes try to get out of the way.*
Both Elephant Trumpeters: (falling from the collapsing pillars) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- (land in the spilled pile or rubble) Oof!
Elephant Trumpeter 1: Hey! Robin's getting away! Oi, you! Don't just sit there! Do something! Sound the alarm!
Elephant Trumpeter 2: Oh, right. Gotcha. (Sounds his trumpet but gets silenced by Lady Kluck who squeezes his trunk)
Lady Kluck: AHHHHHHHHHHH, SHUT UP!
Prince John: (still hiding behind the barrel of ALE) STOP THE GIRL!
Skippy: (aims his bow and arrow at Prince John's butt) Alright, Skippy. You can do this. Remember, it's about stayin' focused ON YOUR GOAL! (Fires his arrow which hits Prince John's butt as planned)
Prince John: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOW!
Lady Kluck: (smacks PJ on the head with the golden arrow) TAKE THAT, YOU SCURVY KNAVE!
Prince John: Who hit me on me noggin? I...(notices Lady Kluck) YOU! RHINO GUARDS! SEIZE THE FAT ONE!
Derek (the Rhino Guard): Ooh! Can we tackle her like we're playing Amercian Football?
Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Derek, how can you think of something so STUPID like an American sport at a time like THIS?!
Derek (the Rhino Guard): I practice.
Prince John: JUST SEIZE THAT CHICKEN ALREADY! 'Cause I'M certainly not gonna waste my time trying.
Some Other Rhino Guard With No Name: Oh, okay, Derek. American Football tackling with Lady Kluck it is.
Derek (the Rhino Guard): YAY!
(The rhino guards charges toward Lady Kluck like a bunch of linebackers and when she sees this, she grabs up a small barrel, tucks it under one wing, and she charges forward like a quarterback. Despite the differences of size, she manages to send the rhino guards flying left and right, and she does a victory dance when she reaches the edge of the woods.)
Lady Kluck: (cheers again) LONG LIVE KING RICHARD! YEEEE-HOOO!
Prince John: DON'T MENTION THAT NAME!
Little John: Come on, Klucky! We gotta vamoose! (Grabs Lady Kluck and retreats into the forest as a bunch of randomly fired arrows miss our heroes and hit the trees instead)
Prince John: (still kneeling near the barrel of ALE) HISS! YOU'RE NEVER AROUND WHEN I NEED YOU! (Sigh) Where could he be? I haven't seen him since I told him to leave the royal bo...
Sir Hiss: (from inside the ALE barrel) I'm on my way, sire. I'll be with you in a minute. (Hic!) Oh, this is the best ALE I've ever drunk! (Chuckles) Oh, for I'm a jolly good fellow. For I'm a jolly good fellow. For I'm a jolly good felloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow! Which nobody can deny!
Prince John: I can deny it. (Removes the cork from the barrel) Come on out of there, you!
Sir Hiss: (slithers right out) Cuckoo! (Notices Prince John) Oh! Oh, there you are, old boy! I've been (Hic!) looking all over the place for you! (Hic!)
Prince John: (Facepalms) Hiss, why have you been in that barrel getting drunk?
Sir Hiss: It's a (Hic!) long story, Johnny Boy! But I have some brill-(Hic!)-iant news you're absolutely (Hic!) going to love!
Prince John: (sigh) What is it.
Sir Hiss: Well, PJ. You may not believe what I'm (Hic!) about to tell you, but the (Hic!) stork is really Robin Hood!
Prince John: (growling) Robin Hood?
Sir Hiss: (drunkly nods and chuckles) Aren't you (Hic!) proud of me?
Prince John: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (Grabs Sir Hiss and ties him to a pole) Get out of that if you can, Captain Obvious.
A/N: Yup, I say that this chapter is finally wrapped up. See you on Tuesday! R&R everyone!
