There's another four chapters to go, so I'm aiming to have them all up by Christmas eve. For the reviewer who doesn't like GS stories, you…um…might want to avoid reading after this chapter! Thanks for all the reviews btw, you guys are the best. Huge thanks to Marlou as always for beta-ing ** hugs**
Chapter eight
He could feel the heat from her body as he leaned in a little closer to her. Her stature alone caused worry to spike through his body like a thousand double-edged blades, puncturing through into his heart, which ached to comfort her.
"Sara," he whispered, his hands twitching by his side as he spoke. "He belongs with his mother."
Sara closed her eyes with his words, groaning out a whimpered sigh before she opened them again. "Don't you think I know that?" she seethed, her voice lowered in a hushed whisper. "But ask yourself this: How long will it be before she dumps him again when she feel it's once again the right thing to do?" Turning to him, she met his worried eyes with hers, unable to hide her blazing anger. "I'm not mother material, I know that, hell everyone knows that, but I would never back away from my responsibilities."
"Sara you underestimate yourself," he whispered, his eyes drawn to hers as he tried to defuse her anger. "I saw you with him," he told her, nodding his head towards the sleeping infant who moved slightly in his sleep. "You have more maternal inclinations than you would like to admit, but from what I witnessed, I'd say you would make a wonderful mother."
"Oh stop," she told him, turning her face away from him. "I could never have a kid when my whole life is in a shambles." Letting out an empty chuckle, she shook her head, trying to hide the sadness in her voice. "My life's a mess."
Grissom watched her worriedly, a huge weight of guilt washing over him. When she began to move and step away from him, he panicked slightly, desperate to hold onto the Sara he once knew and reel her back to him again. But, she avoided his eyes, unable to allow him to see her vulnerability. Walking past him, she made her way towards the door and hovered in the doorway to take one last look back at the tiny child who had turned her world upside down. Lifting her eyes, she met Grissom's gaze, holding it for an eternal moment before turning away from him as she tried to escape the intensity of his eyes.
Taking a deep breath, Grissom closed his eyes briefly before regaining his composure. He had many regrets, the list growing on a daily basis, but he was determined that Sara would not be one of them. It was time he listened to his heart, and it was time he left the past behind. Opening his eyes, he made his way towards the door, determination soaring through his body.
Her sorrow filled eyes met his own when he stepped out into the corridor. She was leaning on the wall just outside the baby's room, arms folded and desperately trying to control her treacherous emotions. "It's just not fair," she whispered, her voice shaking with sadness. "There are thousands of women in the world who can't have kids, and there are people like this," raising her hands in the air, she swiped at the empty space around her. "Women who hurt their children, women who brutalize and maim, women who abandon their children hoping that society will provide." Taking a breath, she turned to him, her eyes filling with pooling tears. "What about the children Grissom? What happens to them?"
"Sara," he sighed, coming to lean on the wall beside her. "It's our job to process the evidence and find the perpetrators who drive families to despair. That little boy in there has a mother, and whatever reason she may have had for abandoning him, she came back after only a few hours. That at least says something." When she didn't respond, he reached out a hand to squeeze her shoulder. "You have to learn to let go of this or you'll lose yourself entirely."
He heard a soft whimper escape her throat as she turned her head away, avoiding his eyes so he wouldn't see the lone tear trickle down her cheek. "I'm already lost," she whispered as she swiped the tear away with the palm of her hand.
"Sara," he started, his voice trailing into a sigh as he moved a little closer. Snaking his arm around her shoulder, he intended to pull her closer to him but when she stiffened when she felt his touch, he slowly started to withdraw his hand, until she hissed out an angry breath.
"Is that her?" she asked, her voice dripping with venom, causing Grissom to realize that she wasn't refusing his touch. Leaning back off the wall, he looked down the corridor to see Brass approaching with a young woman and quickly hooked his arm into the crook of Sara's elbow.
"So, are they just gonna hand him back to her as if nothing ever happened?"
"Sara," he urged, reaching around to her other arm so he could turn her to face him. "Not here. There's no place for this here."
"He could have died Grissom," she told him, anger spiking her voice icily. "If we hadn't found him. What then Grissom? Would you feel differently if he was in the morgue and we'd be looking for a murderer?" Folding her arms across her chest, she moved away from him to turn around and face the approaching woman.
Closing the short distance between them, Grissom once again reached out to touch her arm, drawing her attention back to him. His eyes pleading with her to calm down and lower her battling defenses. He knew she had the capacity for forgiveness and understanding, he'd seen it. So when he saw her deep brown eyes glazing over with unshed tears, he knew she was fighting for control.
"The hospital won't just relinquish him over to her," he told her, his voice lowering into a soft whisper. "I promise you Sara, she'll have to have psyche exams and interviews with a social worker before she will be allowed to have him back with her. Even then, it'll be first on a trial basis."
Grissom remained close to her side, providing her body with the warmth of his touch. He felt her shoulders relax slightly, her fighting defenses deflating in surrender. Holding his breath, he stayed close by her side when Brass and the child's mother came to a stop before them.
tbc
