Chapter 8- Puzzles, puzzles, and dogs
"Careful, it's icy," I warn too late. Frisk takes a step onto the ice and proceeds to glide gracefully across. I'm impressed. "There's a sign in the middle of the ice, if you would like read it."
Frisk nods, and slides back halfway. I read the sign, "North: Ice. South: Ice. West: Ice. East: Snowdin Town. Also ice."
"Hmmm…" Frisk says thoughtfully. "I'll go north first," They nod. We slide up, and I see a snowman waiting there.
"There's a snowman," I say. Frisk gives me a double thumbs up and approaches the snowman.
"Hello. I am a snowman. I want to see the world… But I cannot move. If you would be so kind, traveller, please… Take a piece of me and bring it very far away."
"Of course!" Frisk says.
"Thank you… Good luck!"
"You got the snowman piece. It heals full health. Better hang onto that," I comment. We go down and slide to the east. "There's a patch of stomped down snow, and-"
"YOU'RE SO LAZY!" Papyrus interrupts me. Well, Frisk probably guessed what I was going to say anyway. "YOU WERE NAPPING ALL NIGHT!"
"i think that's called… sleeping," Sans responds. Hey, how did he get here? He was just a little ways down the trail behind us! I look down the path, and he's definitely not there anymore. I should keep a closer eye on him.
"EXCUSES, EXCUSES!" Papyrus finally notices us. "OH-HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU… MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE… QUITE SHOCKING!" I groan loudly. "FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE… ELECTRICITY MAZE! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP! SOUND LIKE FUN?"
"Not at all," I say.
"BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE, IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL, I THINK. OK, YOU CAN GO AHEAD NOW," Papyrus explains. Frisk takes a few uncertain steps forward, and seems to have touched one of the walls. But instead of them getting zapped, Papyrus gets electrocuted, and steam rises off his bones. "SANS!" He yells. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"i think the human has to hold the orb," Sans says, with his perpetual grin.
"OH, OK." Papyrus goes through the maze, leaving behind huge footprints as he does.
"He left footprints through the maze, I'll lead you through them," I tell Frisk. They nod.
"HOLD THIS, PLEASE!" Papyrus tosses the orb in the air, which lands neatly on Frisk's head. He goes back through the maze, deepening his footprints. "OK, TRY NOW."
"Stay close." I take Frisk's hand, and lead them through the maze, making sure they stay very close behind me.
"INCREDIBLE! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL! YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY… TOO EASILY! HOWEVER! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE SO EASY! IT IS DESIGNED BY MY BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!" Papyrus races off, down the path.
Frisk walks over to Sans, to see what he has to say. "hey, thanks… my brother seems like he's having fun. by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing? we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. he hasn't worn anything else since… keeps calling it his 'battle body.' man. isn't my brother cool?"
"Not really," I say. Though Papyrus does have some kind of strange… charm? We continue down the path. "Hey, there's a weird rabbit-looking guy selling stuff. Do you want to buy something?" I ask Frisk. They nod, and walk over to the guy. He doesn't notice at first.
"I don't understand why these aren't selling… It's the perfect weather for something cold…" He sees Frisk. "OH! A CUSTOMER! Hello, would you like some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15G!"
"Sure!" Frisk says.
"Here you go! Have a super-duper day!" The rabbit man says.
"There's a small wooden bridge going over a huge cliff, just so you know." I tell Frisk.
"Are you serious?!" They say in a hushed whisper. "Is it safe?"
"Probably. I don't know," I respond. "There's no railings? I'll just lead you across." I take their hand, and walk slowly across the bridge. It's like two feet long. "Okay, there's a big snowball on a huge patch of ice. Down there, there's a hole. I would assume you have to get the snowball into the hole. Have you ever played soccer?" I ask.
"No, I don't do sports," Frisk answers. They give the ball an experimental kick. It goes down, and bounces off a wall, shooting to the right. They chase after it, and send it into a wall, sending it bouncing back to the left. They groan.
"Alright, just push it down, gently-" I try to direct. "That wasn't gently! Now it's over there, and is it getting smaller? Frisk, cooperate! Go around, push it down, that's right, and go after it! It's melting! Down a little more- and it's over there. Great. Careful, that part's especially slippery… And it went up." I sigh. "Go back up, push it down, there you go, and just… Nope, it's melted." I cover my face with the sleeves of my sweater, and scream.
Frisk puts a hand on my shoulder. They quickly withdraw it, though. I turn around, and what do you know, Sans has been there for a while. Probably. "Thanks for the help, buddy!" I yell at him. "We have to do this, right? There's spikes or something?" Frisk nods. I take a deep breath. "Alright, go back to where you started. Kick it down, not too hard, good, and a little to the left, good, and down some more… Yeah, that's it. Now just go around the side of it and push it to the right. There we go!"
"Yes!" Frisk exclaims. They point at the hole, and look back at me.
"A blue flag popped up. There's a message. 'Hopping and twirling, your original style pulled you through.' It must be timed or something. Hey, you were awarded 2G," I say.
"Should we talk to Sans?" Frisk whispers.
"No. Let's not. Let's keep moving instead."
Frisk shrugs. "This?" They point at something on the ground.
"It looks like a snowball. Actually, it's a snowdecahedron," I say upon closer inspection. Frisk laughs. I look around. "There's no spikes or anything. I'm not sure we actually needed to do that," I grumble. What a waste of time. We keep walking.
"HUMAN!" Great, it's Papyrus. And Sans? Wasn't he just behind us? This is the second time. "I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR… SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"
"it's right there. on the ground. trust me, there's no way they can get past this one." Sans says.
"It's a piece of paper. Pretend to read it, I'll tell you what it says." I say. I think it would be a bad idea for Sans and Papyrus to know Frisk is blind, because then they'll start asking too many questions. "Oh… it's a 'Monster kidz word search.' Just… put it down?"
They put down the word search, and look back at Sans and Papyrus. "SANS! THAT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" Papyrus yells.
"whoops. i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."
"WHAT!? CROSSWORD!? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! IN MY OPINION… JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."
"what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."
"UN. BELIEVABLE. HUMAN!" Papyrus dramatically points a finger at Frisk, making them jump a little. "SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"
"Well, which do you think is harder? Jumble or crossword?" I ask.
"For me… Junior Jumble?" They say hesitantly. I look at them in confusion. Then it clicks. At least with crosswords, they can figure it out if someone tells them the clue. But being blind, they wouldn't be able to do a word search very easily.
"HA! HA! YES! HUMANS MUST BE VERY INTELLIGENT! IF THEY ALSO FIND JUNIOR JUMBLE SO DIFFICULT! NYEH! HEH! HEH!" Papyrus runs off, leaving Sans.
"He's such a delight," I say sarcastically. Frisk walks over to Sans.
"thanks for saying 'junior jumble' just to appease my brother. yesterday he got stumped trying to 'solve' the horoscope." He says. I think that he's being kind of rude to poor Frisk. But, we move on.
"There's a lot of things in here. Another mouse hole, too," I say. I see a piece of paper, that I can read out loud. "Here's a note from Papyrus. 'Human!'" My Papyrus impression could use some work. "'Please enjoy this spagetti! Little do you know, this spaghetti is a trap! Designed to entice you! You'll be so busy eating it, that you won't realize that you aren't progressing! Thouroughly japed again by the Great Papyrus! Nyeh, heh, heh, Papyrus.' Wow."
"You don't sound like Papyrus at all," Frisk says.
"I know, okay? I'm trying."
"No you're not."
"Fair point. Well besides that, there's a plate of frozen spaghetti on the table next to you. It's so cold, it's stuck to the table… Next to that is an unplugged microwave. All of the settings say spaghetti," I frown.
"I hope that the mouse can enjoy the spaghetti, even if I can't," Frisk says wistfully. I notice a shimmer on the ground.
"Knowing that the mouse might one day find a way to heat up the spaghetti… It fills you with determination." Frisk grins at me. They're always so happy. We come across a sign. "'Warning: Dog Marriage.' Under that it says, 'Yeah, you read that right.'" I blink a few times, unmoving. I narrow my eyes at the sign, and shrug it off, shaking my head.
"I like dogs," Frisk says.
"Really? I hadn't guessed."
"Did you ever have a pet?" They ask me. I turn around in surprise.
"Well, no… I guess I wasn't really an animal person?" This was a slight lie, since the people I considered family were all goat-people. But I had never had an actual pet before.
"That's a shame. I've never had a pet, either, though." They shrug. They start downwards, and I forget to walk for a moment or two.
Then, of course, we enter a FIGHT. "Oh, you'll like this one. Lesser Dog appears!"
"Yesssss. Act, check."
"ATK 7, DEF 0. Wields a stone dogger made of pomer-granite." The dog smiles happily, and Frisk dodges its attack with ease. Lesser Dog cocks its head to one side.
"Nice puns," They say, flashing some finger guns at me. "Act, pet."
"You barely lifted your hand and Lesser Dog got excited." I notice its neck get a little longer as it lets out a tiny bark. This attack is different, and Frisk gets hit once and loses 3 HP. Lesser Dog is barking excitedly.
"Act, pet." They lightly touched the Lesser Dog. It's already overexcited… "Act, pet." The dog raises its head up to meet their hand. Frisk gets hit, and lose 3 more HP. "Act, pet." It was a good dog. I watch in horror and amazement as its neck grows ever longer. "Act, pet." Lesser Dog is overstimulated. "Act, pet." Its excitement knows no bounds. "Act, pet." Critical pet! Dog excitement increased. "Act, pet." They have to jump up to pet the dog. "Act, pet." They don't even pet it, and it gets more excited. "Act, pet." Lesser Dog shows no signs of stopping. And neither does Frisk. "Act, pet." There is no way to stop this madness. "Act, pet." It's not even attacking anymore. "Act, pet." Lesser Dog enters the realm of the clouds. "Act, pet."
"Please stop," I beg.
"No. Act, pet." I call the dog but it is too late. It cannot hear me. "Act, pet." …. "Act, pet." Its head is coming down the other side. We can reach Lesser Dog again. "Act, pet." Lesser Dog is lowering. "Act, pet."
"It's possible that you may have a problem," I warn both of them. Lesser Dog continues to lower, until he is nearing the ground.
"Act, pet." Lesser Dog is learning to read. "Act, pet." Lesser Dog is now unpettable, but appreciates the attempt. "Act, pet." Lesser Dog is whining because he can't see us. He's blocked by a lot of text. Text about him, perhaps? "Act, pet." His tail is going nearly lightspeed. "Act, pet." Lesser Dog emerges from the text.
"Hello there," I say.
"Act, pet."
"Perhaps mankind was not meant to pet this much?" I hint.
"Act, pet." It continues. "Act, pet."
"Lesser Dog is questioning your choices," I say. I want to get a move on. As amusing as this is, it has to stop soon.
"Act, pet." Lesser Dog's head is submerged in the snow. He has gone where no Dog has gone before.
"Frisk. Stop. Now." I say. They giggle. It's the most response I've gotten out of them for the past twenty minutes.
"Alright." They spare Lesser Dog, earning them 60 gold. We walk down, further into the snowy abyss.
"There's some loose snow on the ground, and it looks like there's something under it. Spikes block the way," I narrate. Frisk kicks the snow around, and I see more markings underneath. "Yes, keep doing that." The snow is completely cleared. "It's a map! The X is over on the top right, between three, um, things… There's cliffs around it… I think this is a map of where we are. Go back up."
We go back up to where we fought Lesser Dog. "Is it over here?" Frisk asks.
"Well, there's three trees, and a suspiciously colored patch of snow in the middle. I think it is… Yes, there's a switch hidden in the snow." Frisk reaches down and puts their hand in the snow, pressing the switch. Their hand must be freezing. Their entire body must be freezing. I hope that we get someplace warmer soon.
"Now the spikes are probably gone!" Frisk says. We walk back to where the spikes were, and they are gone. We cross a short bridge, and stop as two menacing figures in black cloaks come towards us. They circle us for a moment, then stand on either side.
"What's that smell?" One says.
"Where's that smell?" Says the other.
"If you're a smell…"
"Identify yoursmellf!" They circle us again, sniffing the air.
"Hmmm… Here's that weird smell… It makes me want to eliminate."
"Eliminate YOU!" We enter a FIGHT.
"Dogi assult you!" I say. "Dogamy and Dogaressa."
"Act, check Dogamy," Frisk says.
"He has 6 ATK and 4 DEF. Husband of Dogaressa. Knows only what he smells," I say.
"Let's kick human tail!" Dogamy says.
"Do humans have tails?" Dogaressa wonders. Frisk dodges all their attacks.
"The Dogs are practicing for the next couples contest," I say.
"Act, check Dogaressa," Frisk grins.
"She has 6 ATK and 4 DEF. This puppy finds her hubby lovely. SMELLS ONLY?" I frown.
"Don't touch my hot dog."
"He means me." This attack looks much harder to dodge, and Frisk gets hit, bringing them to 11 HP. They should heal soon. In a couple turns, maybe. The dogs start saying sickly sweet things to each other.
"Maybe if you smelled different, they could get confused?" I suggest.
"Maybe? I'll try it, I guess," Frisk says. "Act, roll around." They roll in the dirt and snow, and stand back up, now fairly damp.
"Now you smell like a weird puppy," I wrinkle my nose. They stick their tongue out at me. They dodge the next attack, though. "The Dogs may want to re-smell you."
"Act, re-sniff." Frisk holds out their hand to the Dogs, and they sniff them again… They seem to decide that they smell all right.
"What! Smells like a…"
"Are you actually a little puppy!?" They seem shocked.
"Act, pet Dogamy," Frisk says. I hope we don't have another Lesser Dog incident.
"Wow! Pet by another pup!" Dogamy says.
"Well. Don't leave me out," Dogaressa complains.
"Ok, act, pet Dogaressa," Frisk says.
"What about me…" Dogamy whines.
"You got your turn!" I yell. The great thing about being a… ghost, I guess? Is that I can be as loud as I want, and say anything I want. It's very freeing.
"A dog that pets other dogs… Amazing!" Dogaressa says. It seems the Dogs' minds have been expanded. We spare them, and get 40 gold.
"Dogs can pet other dogs?"
"A new world has opened up for us… Thanks, weird puppy!" The Dogi go back to wherever they came from. I notice Frisk is shivering.
"Are you cold?" I ask.
"Yeah. Do you think there's someplace warm around here?"
"I kind of doubt it. Maybe there's a murder cabin somewhere around, though." Frisk just gives me a confused look. "There's one in every horror movie, correct? This would be the perfect place for that. Monsters, skeletons everywhere… We can start a fire there, if we find one."
"Alright?" They give me a half confused, half concerned look. But it looks like it's a plan.
Thanks for reading! Your reviews on the last chapter were all so great, thank you! 3
