Jacob stood on Bella's porch trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. Leah Clearwater had dropped off Bella drunk. Not only that, but the two of them appeared to bosom buddies. WHAT THE HELL? Jacob walked into the house looking for Bella. He needed some answers if he was going to figure out this situation.
"Bella?" he called.
"In the kitchen, Jake."
Bella stood in front of the counter, potatoes in front of her, knife in her right hand. Jacob started to panic. Bella, clumsy Bells, drunk and holding a knife. This was not good. Did the booze kill her brain cells?
"Bells, honey, what are you doing?"
"Cooking supper, Jake." She waved the knife in the air, gesturing at the food in front of her. "Remember? I invited you and Billy over for supper?"
Jacob leaned against the doorway, arching an eyebrow at her. "Uh, Bells, I don't think you're in such great shape to cook right now. I mean do you really want to end up in the ER? You've only been back a few days."
Bella sighed and put down the knife, and Jacob let out a long breath of sheer relief.
"Well, Jake, what do you suggest we do for supper?"
Jacob shifted a little nervously. "Um, Bells, Charlie called me, and he got called out of town. He won't be home until tomorrow afternoon. So, it's just you and me tonight, if that's ok."
"Sure, Jake. Does Chinese take out sound good?"
Jacob pushed off the wall, and grabbed the menu off of the fridge. He didn't bother asking her what she wanted. All these years later, and he still remembered her favorites. "Uh, yeah, Bells. Look, why don't you go sit down and I'll call it in and then clean up in here?"
Bella just nodded and walked into the living room. Jacob called in the order, put away the knife and potatoes, and poured Bella a big glass of water, got out some crackers and went into the living room to sit down by Bella. Jake found her there, her head in her hands, looking a little green. He cocked on eyebrow in concern. "Bells, you gonna make it?"
Bella groaned. "Ugh. There's a reason people pass out after they drink. It's just the smart thing to do."
Jacob couldn't help but laugh. "Don't you laugh at me, Black. Just because you wolves don't have to suffer the effects of alcohol doesn't mean you shouldn't have sympathy for those of us who do!"
He smothered his laughter, and set a glass down in front of her. "Ok, Bells, Ok. I'll quit laughing. Here. I brought you some crackers and some water. It'll help."
Bella took the crackers gratefully, and started to nibble. "Thanks, Jake. Would you mind getting me a blanket from the closet? I'm cold."
Jacob grabbed a warm flannel blanket and draped it over her legs. "Better?"
She settled back and tried to relax. "Yeah, that should help. I get so cold whenever I drink."
Before he could help himself, Jacob sank down into the sofa and lovingly wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Bella melted into his touch and moaned. "God, that feels good."
As they sat there, waiting for the food to be delivered, Jacob was trying to figure out what to say to Bella. How did he end up with arms around her? He didn't plan on any of this, and as much as he wanted to be mad at her for the shit she'd pulled over the last three years, he was just so damn glad she was here, alive and in his arms. There was so much he needed from her, so much he wanted to tell her, but it wasn't the time. He couldn't trust her with his heart yet, but he needed her so badly. He found himself thinking back to her wedding day. He'd only hoped to catch one last glimpse of her before he left for good. His heart was breaking, and he knew he couldn't stick around and watch her become a Cullen. He never expected her to chase him into the woods. When he looked into Bella's eyes that day, the world shifted, but something wasn't right. He knew he'd imprinted on her in that moment, but he didn't care. He was still able to walk away from her. It wasn't like the other imprints. He was devoted to her, attracted to her, hell he'd always been in love with her, but the pull wasn't as strong as the the other imprints in the pack. At the time, he'd been confused and angry that he'd finally imprinted on her, and like so many other aspects of their relationship it wasn't right.
How the hell was he going to explain it to her? He'd told his father about it when he came back. Billy had his theories, but they were only that - theories. Bella had left town by then and he figured he'd never have to worry about it. Sure he'd dated, even been with a few other women, something a full imprint shouldn't have allowed him to do. When she showed up at his garage he told himself he'd walk away, but she turned around and looked at him with those big doe eyes of hers and he couldn't help himself. The screwed up imprint wouldn't let him stay angry at her for too long. Then after his fight with Sam all he wanted to do was get to her, protect her. Even now as he sat here, he felt the pull building inside of him, getting stronger. Having her in his arms was incredible. Being wrapped up in her scent was intoxicating. Maybe there was something to Billy's theories. Fuck. He hoped not. Jacob had no plans on becoming sole alpha of the pack. He didn't want to know what would happen if Sam had to answer to him. Not to mention he had no desire to be in Paul's head since he had imprinted on his sister. It was bad enough to come home and walk in on he and Rachel having sex in the kitchen one afternoon. He shuddered at the thought. It wasn't long after that he built himself a house. Maybe Billy was right. Maybe his imprint wouldn't complete itself unless he took his rightful place as full alpha to the pack. He was broken out his thoughts by the doorbell ringing.
"I'll get it, Bells. It must be our food".
Jacob walked back in the living room and set out all the various containers. The two of them began eating their food, while a heavy silence settled around them.
"When did Charlie get the new couch?"
"Today. The old one was uncomfortable. I had a bit saved and wanted to surprise him. Billy helped pick it out."
Jake raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I bet he did."
Silence hung over them once again. Finally Bella heard herself speak. Her sentence cut the thick tension in the air like sharp knife.
"So, Leah tells me you're Alpha now."
"Mmmhmm."
"Well, she said said you're one of them."
"Yeah."
Suddenly Bella started sobbing. Jacob dropped his kung pao chicken on the coffee table and scooped her up and into his lap.
"Oh, God, Jake. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." Bella just repeated it over and over like a mantra. When she finally stopped shaking and the sobs subsided, Jacob cradled her face with his hands.
"It's ok, Bells. It's not your fault. I was always meant to be Alpha. I've come to terms with that. I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm proud of my ancestors, I'm happy with my life. This is who I am. I needed to become Alpha to become me. You understand?"
"Jake, Leah told me why you left Sam's pack."
Fuck! Why couldn't Leah keep her damn mouth shut! He couldn't show his anger right now. He needed to concentrate on what was in front of him.
"I'm so sorry. I wish- no, I should have left Edward sooner. I should have listened to you. I thought that I'd be no better than my mother if I left him and didn't keep my word. It was so wrong. I was so in love with you and I -"
Bella didn't get to finish her sentence. The minute the words spilled out, Jake descended on her lips, tugging and pulling her mouth, tangling his hands in her hair, pouring out everything, every last confused piece of his heart into that kiss. Kissing her the way he had on the mountain, only now he was the one who had to make a choice. Kissing her in a way that left her wondering how she had lived without his kisses all her life.
Bella somehow pulled back from Jake. She needed to tell him, and she needed to do it now. "Jake, I still love you. I love you." She waited, biting her lip, a pensive look on her face while Jacob stared into her eyes, looking for any hint of remorse. He knew it was too soon to tell her. He didn't want to scare her away and more importantly, he knew he didn't fully trust her yet with his heart. He could never stomach lies, and never found comfort in half truths. He'd be honest with her and take his chances. If she couldn't give him what he needed, simple as it was, he'd walk away. He took her hands in his, and looked into her eyes.
"Bells, honey. There are things I need to tell you. Being Alpha has changed me. I have a responsibility to my pack, to my people. I can't dive into this. I need some time to figure things out. You've been gone a long time, and I want to be with you, spend time with you, it's just that, honestly, I don't know you anymore. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. We both grew up. I still know you, I think I know your heart, but our lives, who we are, what we do, that's changed. I want to trust you. I'm just not ready. I do want to know who this crazy Bella Swan is that gets drunk and stands up to Leah Clearwater. I'm shocked as hell by that scene. I mean, I'm proud of you. Despite all the tears today, it seems like you're this strong person now, I'm just at a loss about how to wrap my head around it."
She nodded her head, feeling a bit defeated. "It's ok, Jake. I get it. We've both changed. Maybe you don't want me anymore, maybe you won't want me when you get to know the new me. I'm happy with who I am now. Like I told you this morning. I'll be happy to be able to be a friend to you."
Jacob sighed. "Bells, nothing could make me stop loving you. That's never changed. I have some things I need to take care of in my life before you and I -"
Something clicked in her mind, and suddenly she looked scared and hurt. "Jake, is there someone else? Is that it? I didn't come here to break up a relationship and I'm sure she's a nice girl, I mean you're a nice guy and whoever you picked would probably be nice, and I'm sure she's beautiful, and that the pack loves her -" Bella was rambling now and suddenly she panicked. She jumped up and all but ran to the other side of the room. "Oh, God, Jake, is she your imprint? How could you have kissed me like that if she's your imprint! I, I - maybe I should leave town for awhile, I don't want to hurt anyone, and - damn you, Jake! How could you kiss me? Stop smiling at me like that!"
Jacob couldn't help it. Bella was being ridiculous, and the whole situation was funny. Well, except the imprint part. But now wasn't the time.
"Jacob Black! This isn't funny!"
"No, Bells, no, I guess it's not, it's just that you're still so cute when you get mad. Plus, you were rambling and I could see the wheels turning in your head and you started jumping to conclusions. Bella, I don't have a girlfriend. I won't lie to you. I have dated other women since you left, none of which I was serious about." Jacob paused for a moment, choosing his next words very, very carefully. He did not want to lie to Bella, but he wasn't ready to tell her the truth of the situation yet. He just hoped she wouldn't figure it out. "Bella, I have not imprinted on somebody else". He got up and crossed the room, wrapping her in his arms. "You are not the other woman, Bells, I swear to God." He could feel her relax in his arms. "Look, it's been a long day. Why don't I clean up down here, and you go grab a shower."
Bella looked up at him mischievously "Will you tell me a bedtime story too?"
"Yup, and tuck you in", grinned Jake. "Now go, woman! Hurry up before I throw you over my shoulder and toss you in myself. You smell like a bar, and those damn clove cigarettes that Leah likes so much. Go!"
"Ok, ok, I'm gone!"
When Bella got out of the shower she threw on her old robe and walked into her bedroom. She grabbed her pajama's, not the old holey sweats she used to wear. A tank top and some too short shorts that left little to the imagination. Jacob walked in just as she was starting to run the comb through her hair. "Here, let me." He sat down behind her on the bed and began to slowly run the comb through her hair. Bella settled herself between his legs, allowing his warmth to seep into her. When Jacob was through combing her hair, he buried his nose into the hollow of her neck, her scent washing over him, he began pressing small kisses along her shoulder. Bella leaned into him and allowed herself to feel in this moment, loved. Then in a whisper she spoke. "Stay with me tonight." Jacob settled further down the bed and pulled her into his chest. He watched as she fell into a peaceful slumber, and thought how beautiful she was with the soft moonlight shining on her face. Very softly he whispered a promise in her ear. "I love you, Bells. I've always loved you. I'm not letting you go again" As soon as the words left his lips, Bella snuggled further into his chest. In that moment, he was at peace. In that moment, Jacob Black knew that this was just the beginning, and he began to see a future with love in it.
