Molly:
Tonks reminds me of myself, if I was more public about my emotions. She could be helping me cook, she could be helping me pick vegetables from the garden, she could be watching the telly, and then suddenly burst in to tears. I'd ask her if she wanted to talk about it, because it's the right thing to say, but she would always reject. Honestly, I didn't mind, but guilt has made it's way into my heart. I feel so useless like this. I volunteered our home to this girl because I thought she could use some support, but really I am the one who needs saving. But my hero isn't coming. He gave up on us at the worst moment possible. The man I use to know, the man I married, the man I loved, is long gone.
Tonks wants to be strong, I can tell, but who could be in a situation like this? Harry could. But even he doesn't want to be here. It's because I am beyond saving, like Nymphadora. In her, I see so much of myself, it's scary. All she wants to do is put on a brave face, because that's what is expected of her, and that's what is expected of me. It seems like the more you try, the more you fail. Then the more you fail, the more you lose. I haven't seen Ginny all summer, and I know it's because of her father. She always had him, she always clung to him, not me. And now I've lost him, because he would always know when I have been crying, when I have been selfishly grieving without attempting to comfort anyone else. That was the main reason I took on the task of Tonks, a desperate attempt to hold what was left of my family together, to show that things could only get better from here, even in as dark as times are. You-know-who is back, and death eater numbers are only increasing. Very encouraging.
In the week that has passed since Tonks arrived, only George has visited me. He came to update me on the war, since I've been tending to the off-duty Auror, and Arthur has remained at the office. He told me that a lot of shops are closing down, and he and Fred have noticed a great economic-opportunity with the rapidly public trend of anti-death eater items. I just gave him honest insight, supported by a subdued Tonks (all thanks to a calming potion), that they might be taking advantage of the desperate people. He quickly assured us that they would be credible, to a certain extent. He explained that they wouldn't actually repel the dark wizards, but would be mostly bent towards concealing and quick-escape items. He concluded, with a mischievous grin I might add, that they had only the best interests of the Wizarding Community in mind. He left soon after, promising a visit from Fred soon. They couldn't risk leaving the store unwatched, since Lee was currently on a summer trip with the rest of the Jordan family.
