A narrow dirt road went up a small hill away from Atlanta. An old sign miles before had told them it lead to a deactivated quarry. The clearing on top of the hill had never been that silent; the constant humming of cars and machinery from the cities at the distance completely gone, now only part of the past. Blue sky, warm sun, singing birds seemed to have not witnessed the end of the world as humanity knew it. For those, it hadn't ended. Nothing was different except for the silence they hadn't known for many years. Silence that was broken, though, by the caravan that approached slowly, carefully in the early afternoon. All the cars stopped and were turned off, the silence returning abruptly.
Nobody moved for a while, looking around though the closed windows of their cars. The clearing overlooked the road that had lead that way and a deep, old quarry filled with crystal clear water and large patch of woods all around it. After seeing there was no movement, from the dead and the living alike, the group started pouring out of the cars as the empty, small field was filled with the group silently looking around, walking the perimeter, guns ready. Dale climbed up on his RV to check the view, Merle entered the woods, Shane walked for a few yards down the patch that'd take them down to the water, Sam checked the clearing just on the line of the woods, Daryl checked the perimeter for walkers. The other men on camp watched their backs, all the women gathered around one of the cars with the children. After a few minutes of silence, everybody gathered wordlessly in the middle of the area.
"I think it looks good," Glenn risked shyly, being the first to break the silence.
"Yeah," T-Dog agreed. "High enough to make it harder for the dead to come."
"I think we could set camp here, at least for now." Dale also spoke up.
"Woods' good to find food", Daryl mumbled quietly.
"Rabbit, dear… Maybe pigs." Merle contrasted with his brother by opining loudly. "Could be barbecuing soon."
"Water down there might have fish too." Shane nodded. They all looked at each other nodding in agreement, and Shane crossed his arms when he looked at Sam. "What ya think?"
"Gotta check deeper for walkers." she said worriedly, making a shade to cover her eyes from the afternoon sun with a hand. "Seems a good place, but gotta be sure. Set a safety perimeter on the woods, go down to the quarry as well and see if it's really empty. If it's alright, we set camp here. There's a good spot over there to set the tents." she pointed to where she had been looking before.
"Thought 'bout setting 'em right here." Shane disagreed shaking his head.
"I think we gotta use this as a living area." Sam insisted crossing her arms. "Make a fire in the middle, put the cars there at the entrance to protect the area and sleep further from it. It'll be safer if something or someone comes though the road."
"Sleeping in the woods don't seem dangerous to you?" Shane asked with a smirk before rubbing at his nose.
"Not if we get the area clear." Daryl was the one to answer, coming to stand by Sam.
"This part here's too close to the road," Merle agreed. "If anyone comes that way, better not find us right away."
"Especially if most are sleeping." Glenn completed with an apologetic tone.
Without saying anything, Shane finally nodded his agreement, his eyes on Sam. She swallowed down the irritation she felt at the fact that the men had only repeated what she had said before, but it was only when they spoke that Shane agreed.
"Let's split up to check it. Sooner the better if we want to get settled before night." she said avoiding looking at him again, arms still crossed and hands balled into fists. "Who's already killed a walker?"
The men looked at each other. Sam watched them, Daryl and Merle standing one on each side, also facing the others. Glenn looked around for a moment before raising a hand, a shy smile on his lips.
"Me too," T-Dog said after a moment. "Though I ain't sure it really died, I ran after hitting it."
"No one else?" Merle asked after the silence that followed. "Fuck, and here we thinkin' it'd be safer in a fuckin' group!"
"Ya never killed a walker?" Daryl asked for confirmation in disbelief.
"Never had too", Dale shrugged.
"Just escaped by running and avoiding them" Shane completed.
"Shit." Sam rubbed her face. "Ya'll know it's gonna happen? Ya gonna have to kill them."
"How do you kill someone who's already dead?" Dale asked.
"We saw on tv the cops shooting them and they just kept comin'." T-Dog said amongst a shiver. "That's why I ain't sure that one died."
"You hit the brain." Sam said as a matter-of-fact.
"And you don't make noise." Daryl stated. "Anything loud enough will attract them."
"Gotta lot to teach ya kids." Merle laughed. "Damn, gotta teach 'em it all!"
Sam crossed her arms again and turned away from them. She walked over to the car where the rest of the group was waiting, the men following her.
"We gonna stay here, but only after we check the area", she started and the quiet conversation that had been going on among them died out to give her full attention. "I'd suggest whoever can't kill a walker to stay inside the cars, but it's up to you. Gonna have to learn how to do any anyway."
"Do you know how to kill them?" It was Amy who asked, uncertain, glued to her older sister's side.
"Yeah. We ran into lots of them on our way here."
Ed, who was leaning against the car, once again smoking a cigarette, snorted aloud. "Mustn't be a big challenge, then." he mumbled smirking before pulling on the cigarette.
"You haven't killed any, have you?" Sam asked him in a louder voice. By his side, his wife Carol, arms crossed, moved uncomfortably.
"Nah." Ed shook his head. "Doesn't worry me though. If ya can do it…"
"Alright, fella!" Merle cut before Sam could answer. "Let's see whatcha can do then! Go on, ya comin' with."
Shaking her head, Sam walked away from the group, mainly away from where Merle walked with Ed, not wanting to hear anything else the later said. People gathered again in the middle of the field after gathering a few weapons from the cars, a few of the women joining them as well, except for Carol, Miranda and Amy, who decided to stay inside a car with the children. They were instructed no not leave he car in any circumstance. If a walker appeared, they'd just not panic and stay there; walkers apparently couldn't open car doors.
"Alright everybody!" Shane started clapping his hand together once. "Apparently most of us have never had to deal hand to hand with a dead, or a –" and he looked smiling amused at where Sam and Daryl stood together. "– a walker? That what you call them?" Shane paused, as if waiting for an answer, but got none. Sam and Daryl stared back at him, expressions unchanging. Shane cleared his throat, looked down for a second before raising it again and moved on. "But if we gonna set camp here and keep it safe, we all have to be able to do it. We'll protect each other from them; we will protect the weakest and the children, so we gotta know how to do it."
"But… Kill?" Lori spoke worriedly. "I don't know, it feels strange… I mean, they might have got this decease, this something we don't know what is, but they're people," and she looked around, looking for support. "Right?"
"Wrong." Merle said from where he had been hovering outside the group.
"They're dead." Daryl said and everyone looked at him. It was probably the first time he spoke up in front of the whole group. "They're no people no more."
"It was a person up until they died," Sam completed his thought. "Then they just get up and try to eat you. You don't kill it; it kills you, simple as that."
"See one of 'em going for your kid, ya gonna know how ya feel 'bout it." Daryl's quiet voice sounded grave.
Sam only nodded when all of the others exchanged nervous looks, and nobody voiced any more worries about it, although Sam knew by their looks they all still had many.
"Alright, we gotta check the area soon if we want the tents up to sleep in tonight." Shane cut the silence, clapping his hands once more as he repeated Sam's words from before. "Now, the only ones of us who have ever had to kill them were our Savannah friends over there and Glenn." he nodded at the Asian boy's direction and then at where Sam and Daryl stood, Merle out of the circle but hovering somewhere behind his two road companions. "I'd say we listen to their orientations about it."
"Go on, babykins." Merle said and stood behind her, tall enough to look at the others from above her head. "Show'em how it's done."
She turned her head slightly to look at Merle for only an instant, an amused grin on her face, and looked back. "Best thing would be to show ya, but I'm glad to see we don't have any walkers around right now, so you'll see as we walk around the area in a minute. Most important thing ya gotta know is that they do not die if you don't hit their brain. You cut the head off the body, the head still tries to bite you." she saw some reaction from the people around, especially from women, but ignored it and moved on. "Best way is with a knife through the eye socket, this part's easier 'cause you won't need to break through skull. Never forget to pull the knife off, don't let it fall down with the walker of you'll be unarmed if another one approaches."
"Can't we just shoot them?" T-Dog asked. "We got guns."
"Guns will ring the dinner bell," it was Daryl who answered. "Any walker around who heard it will turn to ya. I say only use guns if ya have no other option."
"Plus we won't have bullets forever, gotta make 'em last," Sam agreed. "That's it in theory, seems easy but when you do it the first time ya might get scared, I know I did. They are loud, disgusting and smell horrible, but you gotta know that if you freeze, you can die."
"Well, that's cheery." Andrea smiled nervously.
"Anyone got another question or can we just go and kill 'em motherfuckers already?" Daryl asked as he swung his crossbow from his back and held it pointing to the ground.
Mumbling in agreement, the group followed. Sam and Daryl walked in front of them, Merle closing the group without having to be asked to. Everybody was silent, Sam could feel their nervousness and wondered for a moment it walkers were like cats who could pick up the energy of the people around.
"What?" she heard Daryl ask quietly by her side, and only then she noticed she had been smiling.
"Oh, nothing… Just if walkers can feel the fear, we're fucked."
Daryl looked behind them, at the group, and as he looked back at her he was also smiling, trying to hide it, though. "Guess we're fucked anyway. They'd better start looking after themselves soon, or we gonna end up doin' all the work."
"It's ok, we trade protection for food and supplies." She smiled up at him again.
He smiled back, but before he could say anything else, something on the woods made him stop. A twig cracking and laves spreading out on the ground made him stop dead in his tracks, Sam following him suit, raising an arm to warn everybody else. There was silence for a long moment, and Daryl just kept still, eyes darting around the trees, Sam by his side waiting for some warning.
"What's going on?" Andrea's voice sounded loud among the threes, above the rustling of the wind on the leaves and the birds chirping.
Sam turned to her, scowling, and whispered firmly "What did we say about silence?"
"Good job, blondie, they heard you." Daryl said and pointed further to the woods.
Sam looked at the same direction and saw two walkers stumbling over their legs to approach the group. She raised her arm again, gesturing two with her fingers, and unsheathed her knife.
"You guys don't move." Sam told them without taking her eyes off the couple of rotting corpses approaching.
She and Daryl moved towards the walkers, he with his crossbow raised and aimed. When they were a few yards away, Daryl shot a bolt into one of their eye sockets, and the body fell instantly to the floor. Not stopping, Sam quickened her pace towards the other and shoved her knife sideways into the temple. It was over before people around could even think.
"Hey, their friend came to join the party!" Merle said happily from behind the group and everybody turned towards him. Another walker was approaching the group from behind. Merle already had his red axe in hand, but unlike Sam, he didn't walk over to meet with the corpse. He let it approach him, the moans getting hungrier with the proximity.
"Yeah, come and get me, mooch!"
The axe was swung from behind him into the thing's skull, nearly parting it in half with Merle's muscular force. Sounds of disgust and even some cheering erupted from the group. Andrea and Lori seemed a little grey from where Sam was standing. Even though she laughed at Merle's theatricals, her own stomach turned slightly, suddenly remembering the can of pork brains. She swallowed and breathed slowly, willing it to pass.
"That's how is done!" Merle cheered holding up the axe covered in rotting brain matter.
"Now ya wonder if you should've watched more gore movies growing up, huh?" Sam asked the others, laughing to cover up her nausea.
"Awesome!" Morales cheered.
The three walkers turned out to be the only ones they found on the immediate area of the woods by the camp. Daryl did see quite a lot of squirrels, thought, a good promise for a hunt later on. After a long walk around the perimeter, the group went down the path to the quarry. A single male walker stood in the middle of the road, very still, as if dormant. It turned its head towards the sound of the group's steps and moaned before turning its whole body and talking unsteady but quite fast steps towards them.
"Who wants to get this one?" Sam asked to the group.
"I'll go." Shane said walking past her as he unsheathed his hunting knife, his eyes on the walker who focused its attention on him.
"The faster the better." Sam reminded from somewhere behind him when Shane hesitated for a moment to decide whether to go for it or wait for it to come to him, her words making him decide to go. He raised his knife and attacked as he walked in fast steps, the lack of focus on aiming right making his miss the walker's skull. It got him unbalanced and, in less than a second, the corpse was on to him, hands gripping his shoulders and pulling him closer.
"Hold the neck!" Daryl shouted from their side. "Keep it away!"
"Do something!" Lori's shriek panicking voice came from the group.
"The neck!" Daryl shouted again, but raised his crossbow taking aim instantly all the same.
Shane let his left hand go from where it had been holding the corpse's arm to grab the rotting neck, his fingers dipping into the flesh a little more than expected, and forced it away, gaining the control to lift his knifed hand and stuck it into the white, dead looking left eye. The corpse fell to the ground, silence coating the group except for all the labored breaths; especially Shane's. He turned on the spot, looking at the people, a quick glance and a nod to Daryl. His eyes were a little more open than usual.
"It's harder than it looks," he told the group. "Be careful."
A low laugh issued from the middle of the group, clearly audible among the otherwise quiet people. All eyes turned to him, Ed looking down, still smiling and shaking his head slightly.
"Again, Ed, got somethin' to say?" Shane asked him, crossing his arms, tongue coming out to lick at his dry lips.
"Nah." the man said. "I'm good."
Shane took an angry step towards him, but was retained when Sam spoke up. "Hey, I got an idea!" She was smiling. "Why don't you take the next one? You should lead the group, go ahead, walk in front of us and take the next walker that shows up."
Ed carried a sarcastic, annoying smile on his face when he walked towards her. "Don't think you're giving me orders, pixie. Ain't 'bout to get orders from a puss"
Daryl took a step towards him; breathe hitching in anger, but Sam reached out and held his wrist. She said nothing, only shook her head slightly when he looked at her, the angry in his eyes not directed at her.
"Well, you are, apparently." Ed laughed as he looked up and down Daryl before walking down the path, the rest of the group moving unsurely the same way.
"Not worth it." Sam whispered, her hand still on Daryl's wrist, but not holding him in place anymore. "He's gonna get his, ya know that."
"Yeah he gonna." Daryl said looking down at her. "Might as well get it from me."
She smiled, "Thanks, but I saw him first." and squeezed his wrist a little before letting go. "He's mine!"
"Told ya, honeybun," Merle said as he reached them both, no stopping walking. "Got an eye on him."
They all walked after Ed down the path, the bottom of the quarry slowly approaching. After a couple of minutes in silence, Ed stopped dead in his tracks, starring down at two walkers. Them both had already seen him and the group and were walking unsteadily towards them.
"They ya go, big guy." Daryl said as he approached Ed, while the rest of the group stood behind. He took aim with the crossbow. "One of 'em is all yours." He completed before pulling the trigger and eliminating one with a well placed arrow.
Ed looked behind him for a moment, directly at Sam, and smiled. She raised an eyebrow and nodded towards the walker, encouraging him to show what he could do. He turned again, the walker much closer now, and lunged for it, an old and rusty machete in hand, clumsiness all over. He tried the head but the machete went straight down into its shoulder, getting stuck there as the walker growled even angrier and kept coming. Ed forced the blade up and out of the rotting flesh and tried again, gasping in the effort. He got the head this time, but not strongly enough. It broke the skin and blood flew all over, but didn't even break the skull. He felt the blood covering his face and tried a step back gasping and breathing hard, only to have the sole of his tennis shoe slip on the loose earth of the path. He fell on his ass, barely having time to think and the walker was on him, hands pinning him down by the shoulders, blood and drool oozing down on him.
"No! Fuck! Help me!"
Merle's laugh could be heard over all the noise right before the other people on the group insisted that someone did something. Daryl even raised the crossbow, but Sam was close and simply stuck the knife in the back of the walker's skull. It stopped moving and fell on top of Ed just as she removed the blade.
"Shit! Help, help me!" Ed still shouted.
"Shut up, it's dead already!" Sam growled at him and Ed pushed the corpse away. The group passed, some shaking their heads, but most of them looking completely terrified.
Most of the people had the chance to kill their first walker that afternoon. T-Dog was the next after Ed, who looked very red in the face when the men did it quickly by shoving a knife into a walker's eye. A little more confident, Morales did the same and laughed after, celebrating. Lori and Andrea, even though they looked very green even before it, were also able to do it quite well. Other people had more difficulties, like Dale, Jim and Jackie, but their specific walker fell finally dead to the ground after a little struggle.
Merle lit a cigarette and passed one to Daryl as they stood together in silence, looking around. Sam approached them after a minute, also quiet, and Daryl passed his own to her. She shook her head, refusing it.
"So what you think?" she asked them, ignored the confused look Daryl shot her.
"Good for now." Daryl answered; brows still frowned down at her.
"Far enough from city to keep big crowds away for now," Merle said looking up towards the camp. "But nothin' to stop 'em from reaching it."
"Yeah, that's what I worry about." Sam looked up the same way. "Gotta have lookouts all the time."
"Got enough people for that. They can learn, you saw it." and looking back somewhere behind them, Daryl snorted. "Except for Ed. He'll get killed real soon."
"If he don't take any of us with him, is good riddance".
They went quiet again for a moment until Shane came to them, the group already starting to walk slowly up the path back to camp.
"So, uh, that last one was standing in the water when Jackie got him… So I'm thinking we don't use any of this water without a good boil before."
"Yeah you're right", Sam agreed and started to walk, the three men following her. "We're still not sure how we get this thing. If a walker doesn't kill me, I ain't going down 'cause of tainted water."
* * *
Her tent was still flat on the ground as most of the others' were up, people putting their personal things inside, making a livable place. She yawned. In the last few minutes Sam felt like her energy was completely drained, now that things were somewhat calmer. She blinked heavily looking down at the tent's bright orange fabric and at the folded poles in her hand. Crouching down on her heels, she tried to insert the pole in the right place, or at least what she thought was the right place.
"You never camped before, did ya, poppet?"
Sam looked up from her position o see Merle approaching. "Nah. I got no idea what I'm doing." she confessed.
"First of all, ya trying to put the wrong pole in the wrong hole."
"Shit…" she mumbled and let the pole and fabric fall to the ground. "Fuck it, I'll just set up that hammock… It's still warm anyway."
She got up and groaned at the pain the position brought to her legs, and looked around, rolling her neck to feel a satisfying, loud pop. Merle took her place by the tent saying nothing else, only mumbling "women", under his breath.
"Hey, Andrea! Amy!" Sam called aloud over the tents, looking to the back of the clearing, and continued once the two sisters looked at her. "That's too far away. Tents should be closer together, it's safer this way."
"But we're still in the clearing!" Andrea contested.
"Barely, you're almost under the trees. It'd be better if you moved a little more to the middle, ok?"
Andrea and Amy shared a look that Sam felt too tired to analyze, but Amy nodded and they started moving their things closer. Sam yawned again and turned around to Merle. Her tent was up, Merle adjusting the last of it. She noticed it was small, probably the smallest tent on camp.
"You got magical fuckin' powers or something?" she asked him, impressed, as he got up.
"Just been camping too many times to count." he told her. "Ya just need the sleeping bag and ya set."
"That's great…" she smiled but another yawn interrupted it.
He laughed at her, "Fuck, woman, just go to sleep!"
"No, got things to do…"
"Hey, by the way, when did ya become the freakin' little boss 'round here? I see ya telling people what to do and not to do all day, and bossin' up Mr. Sniffers over there. The hell's that all about?"
"Shit, I got no idea, it's not like I planned to do that." Sam said while she zipped her tent open and peaked inside. "I'm just saying what I think, like I always did."
"Yeah, well, careful with that. Ya don't wanna be responsible for all those shitheads. Wouldn't wanna be in your shoes if they start seein' you as the leader."
"I don't even think they, or we, I don't know, actually need a leader. Why can't everybody just do shit and survive together?"
"Every pack needs a leader, sweetheart. And every male in the pack wants to be the alpha."
"I ain't no male! Where does that put me?"
He laughed, "You procreate with the alpha!"
Sam also laughed aloud, "Shit, please kill me first!"
"I'll do it quick and painless."
"Thanks, that's sweet." she said in a flat voice and he laughed before going on.
"Or I'll just fight Mr. Sniffs-a-lot for the alpha position and ya'd have to procreate with me!"
"Aaaand now you're an asshole again."
"Why did ya think I quit bein'?" he laughed more and turned around to walk away. "Good hangin' with ya, but I gotta take a piss."
"Thanks for the tent!"
Minutes later, sleeping bag inside the tent along with her backpack, Sam returned to the empty area in the middle of the camp. She saw that Dale's RV was already parked where she had said it should be, a folding camping table set up and Carol around it, a few bags on the floor. Sam could see the bags were filled with food supplies from the others and that Carol was organizing them; she noticed Daryl's bag was among them. On the hood of one of the cars parked at the entrance of the camp, Shane, Glenn, T-Dog and Daryl were going through the weapons they had – not all, seeing that Sam still had her gun holster with two pistols hanging from her shoulders and a knife tucked into the sheath. Dale was on top of the RV, binoculars aiming down the road and quarry. Ed, Morales and Jim were setting up twigs and dry leaves in the exact middle of the clearing, preparing to start a fire. Lori had Carl helping her carry a few pans and kettles towards were he fire would be. Sam smiled looking around, understanding how everybody had got occupied with something, working together. That might work, she thought. Occupying herself as well, she grabbed two big buckets she found where Lori had taken the pans and walked alone down the quarry. She returned with them filled with water a few minutes later.
"Oh, I was just going to do that!" Lori said when Sam placed them by the fire, which was already starting to burn.
She rolled her shoulders; the buckets had been really heavy, "Yeah, it's alright. We gonna need it to cook whatever it is we can invent from those cans." she said nodding to where Carol as still fussing over the cans, noticing she had separated a few to the side. "And to drink as well, gotta boil it all."
"We still have bottles of mineral water for now; do you think we should save them?"
"I guess, yeah. Maybe do what Carol did with the cans, put together all we have and save it all. If we ever got to leave here we have water to carry."
Lori looked worried, "Why would we need to leave? I mean, other than when all of this is over?"
Sam looked a Lori for a long moment before realizing she probably had to give her an answer. She found incredible that the other woman seemed to think everything was fine and things would just return back to what they were before. She considered telling all she thought about it to Lori, but she felt so tired, now even more after the water buckets, that she just smiled, lips tight together, before saying "We never know. What if we find a place that's even better than this?"
"I think this looks pretty god. The children like it. It's like an unexpected vacation for them. Carl always wanted to go camping but Rick and I –" Lori paused and swallowed hard, looking down at her feet. "We never had the time."
Sam looked around, looking for something to say. She had never been too good in comforting someone with words. She cleared her throat after a moment. "All it matters is that Carl is safe and even happy. Look at that," she pointed to the tree line where Carl, Sophia, Elisa and Louis were playing together, running around and laughing. "We just gonna try to keep it that way."
Lori smiled at her, still with sad eyes. "Yes, you're right. Thank you…"
"It's nothing."
Lori took a deep breath and shook her head a little, as if to shake away the sad thought from her mind, and changed the subject. "Hey, that small orange tent is yours, right?"
"Yeah?"
"You left the zipper open so I went to close it, you don't want bugs making their way in here, and well, I saw you only have a sleeping bag?"
"Yeah", she said again. "It's not even mine; Merle got it somewhere before we left Savannah. Why?"
"We have an extra folding bed." Lori told her pointing over her shoulder to the general direction of the tents. "If you want it, at least you won't be sleeping on the ground."
"You got an extra folding bed?" Sam laughed. "I find it amazing that someone would've even one folding bed in the middle of the freakin' walking dead apocalypse, and you got an extra? How did you guys think about that?"
"Well, I thought about it when Shane said we might need to camp for a night or two before reaching the shelter. And you know, I have a kid, mothers develop a strange talent of thinking about every detail. Shane had them in his house; he likes camping."
"Alright. So I means you, Carl and Shane already have a bed?"
"Yeah, if you want one…"
"Hell yeah!"
They returned to the tents again and Lori gave Sam the folded aluminum bed. Lori left Sam to rearrange her things inside the small habitation. It felt even more crowded now with the bed, but Sam was satisfied with it. She didn't intend to stay in there for long periods anyway. As she was leaving, Sophia, Carol's eleven year old daughter, was passing by running after the other kids. The girl stopped when she saw her.
"Hi!" she said timidly and smiling.
"Hey, what's up?"
"I like your hair." the girl still smiled.
"Yeah? You know, you can have that one day if you want." Sam said and threw all the loose dreads to one side, over her shoulder.
"Can I touch it?"
Smiling proud of her locks, Sam leaned down, "Of course!"
Sophia took one of the dreads in her hand, rolling it between her fingers. "Cool", she said after a moment.
"Look, this one had a ring on it." Sam said looking for one specific dread with the ornament.
Sophia took the ring in her hand, looking at the carvings, "You put rings on your hair?"
"And in my nose".
Sophia seemed to find everything about Sam interesting. Her hair, pierced nose, her tattoos – Sam explained to her what a Phoenix meant, she had never heard about them before – and even her gun holster. Sam still felt tired, but the energy and curiosity of the girl, still so optimistic before the facts, seemed to give her a boost of energy. Sam was now explaining what was the sport she did not only to Sophia, but for the other three children too. They got excited when she said what she knew how to do, jumping up and down around her, asked her to show them.
Sam forced herself not to yawn as she walked with them back to the clearing. The sky was only now starting to darken, the night approaching, the fire in the middle, one metal bucket of water heating up over it. She looked around, looking for something she could do. The possibilities were infinite, so she opted for leaving the children behind as she sped up in run towards the RV. In speed, she climbed on her side of it, pulling herself up on top of it in less than a second – it was not as high as she had thought. She heard the four children cheer and run closer to the car. She smiled to Dale, who had gotten up from his folding chair, scared by her sudden appearance.
"Sorry!" she told him before turning to the kids again, standing in the very edge of the RV. She opened her arms to her sides and stood like this for a moment before jumping down again with a front flip. She was surrounded by children as her feet hit the floor, their cheering calling the attention of the whole camp.
Her cheeks went bright red and her smile was the biggest Daryl had ever seen. After going through the weapons and distributing them evenly between the people who had been willing to take watch duties, he had been looking for Sam to give her a rifle when he saw her run from the edge of the clearing to climb incredibly fast over the RV and then jump down flipping over herself and fall steadily on her feet. Daryl felt rooted to the ground; glad he was still among a few trees and out of sight. He had seen her smile like that before.
Once.
He was sixteen as had been living in that neighborhood for nearly three, after the Dixon's former house had been burned to ashes with his mother inside. By that time he still went to school, but only barely, and he remembered clearly the day he was coming home from one of the few days when he actually showed up there. There was a moving truck in front of the house next door, which had been empty for the better part of a year now. He saw a man, grey hair and beard reaching his chest and a woman who Daryl didn't think to be five years older than himself. He was on the porch steps when he looked at them again, kind of curious but not so much, when he saw Sam for the first time. A girl who looked almost his age, perhaps younger carrying a box from the truck to the house; blonde hair so clear it was almost silver, green eyes that he could see from that distance. She looked like she hated every second of that day. Cuteness of a young girl in her high pony tail and baby blue dress contrasted with her frown and some hardness in her eyes that Daryl thought he recognized from somewhere.
Later that day he had to hear the rudest comments his father made about the new neighbors and it irritated him more than he could understand. It was probably because every single word his father said irritated him to no end. The next morning he emptied his school bag and filled it with some junk food and water and left with it in his back and a BB Gun in hand. He spent almost a week out, like he usually did from time to time. Nobody went looking for him, they never did. Merle was away again and his father simply didn't care, so he only went back home after six days when his food was over and he couldn't get any more squirrel for a whole day. He returned the house from the backyard. There were no fences there separating the houses, he area behind his and the neighbor's house filled with old trees, abandoned car parts and boxes that had been used when the new people moved in. First thing he saw, though, was Sam. She was facing the woods, a leg bended and resting behind her on the tree; grey sweat pants and white tank top, battered sneakers of her feet. She lit up a cigarette and pulled before looking back to her house, it seemed she was checking if she was really alone. He left the woods just as she looked in his direction again, and she jumped.
"Holy shit!" she cried, a hand on her chest. "Fuck, thought you was my dad!"
And with that, the laughed and said "phew!", but soon stopped and pulled on her cigarette again. Daryl had stopped moving, rooted on his spot, staring at her. He didn't smile or laugh with her, he was too shocked to do anything. There she was, the pretty, delicate girl he had seen days ago, smoking and swearing like he boys he knew, andspeaking to him. His throat felt like it was closed, no words coming to mind to say to her.
"You live here?" she asked him, and her voice really was delicate. "Never seen you."
He nodded, maybe a little too fast to look natural, and didn't say anything. He knew he'd make a fool of himself if he said words, or if he stayed there. She smiled even more at him, perfect teeth, smile reaching her green eyes, and Daryl felt a pang in his chest knowing his simple nod for an answer had made such a pretty girl smile like that. He suddenly felt completely out of place, having not showered for a week.
"You smoke?" she spoke again, and Daryl felt he'd look more like an idiot every second he spent without saying anything. He nodded again, lying. He had never smoked before, even if he'd had thousands of opportunities to do so. He didn't want to look like a wuss for not having smoked at sixteen when a girl who looked like fourteen was pulling on her cigarette like she'd been doing that forever. At his answer, he girl fished into her sweatpants pocket for her pack and reached out to give it to him. "I'm Sam, by the way. What's your name?"
Shit, there was no way he'd escape from speaking now. He'd sound like a fool, the idiot he really was, he knew it. He'd have to choose between making the girl – Sam – think he was a fool or that the as an asshole. He chose the least.
"None of ya business. Fuck off." he said darkly and moved towards his house, ignoring the pack of cigarettes she still held for him.
Now, rooted in an entirely different spot, looking at the same girl with the same bright smile, he wondered – like he had done millions of times since that afternoon eighteen years ago – why he had said that and how things would have been if he had simply talked to her like a normal person.
He'd probably have had more opportunities to see that smile.
"Fucking shit, is that a pool of drool where ya standing?" Daryl heard Merle approach him and laugh, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Ya gonna drown, little brother!"
"The fuck you talkin' about?" he asked, hoping to cover up.
"Talkin' 'bout shortie dread princess over there, don't try to sound more like an idiot that ya already do." Merle stood by him, towering, all signs of laugh gone. "Look all ya want, little brother, drool all ya want, 'cause that's all ya gonna have from that fine piece o'ass. Girl like that ain't never gonna look at ya."
"You just say that 'cause you ain't never had a fine one look at you."
"Fuck, Darlina, ya got no idea. If she by miracle even look at ya, don't matter. I don't want ya anywhere near Sam, ya hear me?"
"I ain't even trying, not goin' for it." Daryl said starring up at his brother, but taking a step back, his towering over him getting on his nerves. "But if I was? What the fuck you got to do with that?"
"Lookin' after the girl. Ya'd be no good for her. Shit, ya'd be no good for any girl, is just how us Dixon boys are."
"Never kept you away from any of 'em. What's it 'bout Sam?"
"None of your business, little brother, just mark my words. Stay the fuck away from her."
Sam didn't see or hear them, she was still surrounded by the camp's four children, their excitement clear in their raised voices and skipping around, asking for her to do more so they'd see, asking her how she'd learned that, if she could teach them, how many flips she could do at once. Although Sam had never had much contact with children in her life, she liked them; found their excitement before life refreshing, especially now with the world ending. She wanted to show them more, to play around with them, she really did, but her stomach seemed to find her running a flipping over completely abusive. It was turning again; bile rising to her throat, her head spinning a little.
Still smiling, she told the children they'd have to ask their parents if she could teach them, and that they'd talk again tomorrow. It hurt a little to see their disappointed faces as she walked away from them – nearly running – back towards the tent area. She passed right through it, towards the woods, now really running, a hand covering her mouth, until she found herself far away enough from anyone to get her relief. After emptying her already empty stomach even further, she fell on her butt on the wood's ground, tears falling freely from her eyes, catching her breath. She felt tired to the bones and only wished to lie down right there and take a nap. She was shaking, stomach still turning, tears now falling for some other reason.
She knew she was screwed. If those symptoms really meant what she thought they meant, she was even more fucked than she'd be back in the normal life. And, who was she kidding? She knew damn well what the symptoms meant. She was never one to get sick and feel this bad for nothing. Before she would have the help of the guy she had slept with – or she imagined she would, she didn't really know him that well to know it – and she could make the choice to keep it or not, and if she didn't want to keep it, she'd find a safe place to go and solve her problem. But now she wondered what her options were, but just as she started to think better into it, her body gave up on thinking and on sitting up and she felt herself falling backwards slowly to the ground, vision growing dark, thoughts failing her mind. All she was able to think was that she shouldn't let herself fall asleep right there, it wasn't safe, a walker could find her and eat her and nobody would even know about it.
At least it would solve her tiny little problem.
So she forced herself up, ever so slowly, holding up to the tree and walked back to the camp, tree by three, glad nobody was around. Her orange tent seemed too damn far away and the minutes it took her to reach it and zip herself in felt like a week. There were no more thoughts as she fell over the folding bed, finally permitting darkness to engulf her exhausted body and mind.
