Thanks to Kitty, Karen & Mary for all their help and to you guys for reading, reviewing etc.
Chapter 8
I made a few notes as I ate breakfast the next morning, mostly some ideas that I could put forward in the meeting with MTV. I'd thought things through and had some suggestions that I thought made for more interesting and entertaining viewing.
I showered and got ready quickly, aiming to be at the office as early as I could. I opened my door and as I did, the door to the apartment opposite me swung open too. Apartment 5b.
"Hey," the guy mumbled as he stepped out into the hallway.
"Um… hi." I noticed a dark bruise underneath his very swollen right eye. "Are you okay? I mean, you eye… it looks…"
He reached up and touched his eye gingerly and nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. No thanks to the crazy ass from downstairs. Showed up here firing accusations at me then landed one punch to my face before his wife dragged him away."
"Oh dear," I mumbled, feeling my cheeks flushed as I realized this was actually my doing. "Did you call the cops?"
"Nah," he said, and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. "If he shows up here again, I'll make sure to tell him it's not me screwing his wife, it's the FedEx guy."
"What the hell are you doing here at this time?" Rose poked her head around the door to my office. "I expected you to be recovering in bed until at least lunchtime. Usually after a night out like that you're not in the best of shape."
I frowned. "Are you talking about drugs? Do I really do that stuff as often as Esme said I do?"
She thought about it for a second and then nodded once. "Much more than you should. Honestly, you frighten me sometimes. I've told you before I think you're out of control, but you just laugh it off."
I put my head into my hands and let out a frustrated groan. "I can't believe it, I hate drugs. Why do I do it?"
The door closed and I thought Rose had left me alone, but then I felt her hand on my back and she crouched down beside my chair.
"Hey, are you sure you're okay?" she asked softly. "You've been all sorts of weird these past few days."
I looked up at her. "I guess I just found out some stuff about myself that I hate. I do drugs, I lost my best friend, and I'm a bitch to the girls I work with. I don't recognise myself, Rose, and I don't know how to make it right."
"I think you do," she said, her tone still kind. "Why else would you skip out on an important meeting to go and see your friend from school? Just be the best version of yourself you can be, and I'm sure you'll be fine."
I could do that. I would stop being a bitch, I most definitely would not take any more drugs, and I already had the most important thing—Edward. There was no way I was ever sleeping with Alec again, I would rather lose my job than be that girl.
"I need to speak to Alec. Do you think you could try and arrange for us to have dinner?"
"And you can't call him yourself because…?"
"Please, Rose," I begged, shuddering at the brief flashbacks of his… performance last night. "Do it for me? I can't talk to him yet and I want everything I do from here on in to be professional. I want him to know this is me seeking his approval the right way, and not because of what we used to do in the bedroom."
"You're changing right in front of my eyes, Bella. But you always knew my thoughts on what you were doing so whatever you need I'm on it." She laughed to herself and then ran through a few messages she had for me.
None of the names rang any bells, so I scribbled them down on my notepad with Google beside each one, meaning to research them later.
"I need to compile a new presentation for the meeting with MTV," I told Rose when she was finished with her messages.
"What?" she asked in surprise. "I only just completed the last one."
"You completed it?" I repeated and she nodded. "Why did I get you to do it?"
"You wanted it doing, so you told me to get it done. You have no issues with delegation that's for sure—just ask your last assistant, you were more than she could handle." She saw my face fall at yet another example of just how far up my own ass I was and tried to make light of it. "But that is my job, and I'll always be sure to tell you if you crossed the line with me. So, you're preparing another presentation?"
"Well, almost. I think we need something different if we want MTV to commission a new season. Truthfully, I think we have to try a new approach otherwise what's the point? We might as just air re-runs of the other seasons and save ourselves some time and money." I paused before adding, "But, I don't expect you to do it all again. If you can show me, I'll be happy to do it myself."
"What about Esme and her father? Won't you need to show it to them first?" I hesitated for a second and Rose grinned. "You sneaky dog. You're not telling them?"
"I think they'll stop me presenting it if I tell them about it beforehand, I doubt Esme would like the premise of what I had in mind. If I take them by surprise and the execs from MTV like it, they'll be in a position where they have to say yes or lose everything completely. Well, that's my plan anyway." I chewed nervously on my finger. It was a scary prospect, risking the friendship I'd had with Esme since high school.
"Good for you," Rose said almost proudly. "And let me have it as soon as you're finished preparing it, I'll make sure it's done before your meeting."
"Thank you, Rose."
"Anytime." She stood up. "I think I'm gonna like this new you."
"I hope so, because I really don't think I like the old me."
She left me alone and I moved away from my desk, spreading out the work I'd done so far on the floor and sitting amongst it all trying to put the pieces together in my head. I had an idea of what I wanted, and now I just had to make sure I presented it well enough so the people at MTV could see it would work.
I became so immersed in my work, I didn't notice the time passing by and it was a little after six in the evening when Rose announced she was leaving for the day. She almost seemed reluctant to leave me, asking over and over again if I wanted anything before she left.
"I'm good," I told her with a tired smile.
"Are you planning an all-nighter or do you think you'll get home at some point?" she asked, her voice laced with concern and I shrugged.
"I'm not leaving until it's done. I have plenty of coffee and a lot of time to make up. Don't worry about me, you just take off." I returned my attention to the mass of papers on the floor, the mass of papers that were not starting to resemble something interesting.
The hours continued to tick by and it was almost midnight when I was finally done. I had a speech to accompany the presentation, sketches of one or two scenes that I had in mind, an entirely new opening sequence playing out in my head but I just couldn't get it across on paper. It needed something else… something more real… it needed…
"Edward!" I said to myself with a triumphant smile. The scenes needed bringing to life, even if they were just stills and in my best friend, I had someone who knew every part of me… the old me… the me I had invested into this new idea. He would know what I wanted even if I couldn't explain it in words.
Without a second thought to the time, I picked up my phone and called him. It took a few rings before the line connected and a very sleepy Edward answered the phone.
"Bella? Is something wrong?" he mumbled.
"I need your help," I said, now feeling bad for calling so late.
"Why, what's wrong?" he asked, now sounding anxious. "Are you okay?"
"I have a huge meeting with MTV coming up, and I've been working on something completely different, but it's just words on paper right now and I need you to help me make it real. I know you can do it, Edward, I know you're super talented. I looked on your website the other night and the photos you've done are so incredible. Will you help me?" I crossed my fingers, toes, arms, and legs, praying he wasn't overloaded with work already. "Please, I'm begging you."
"It's nearly one in the morning, Bella. This wasn't something that could wait until the morning?" he asked with a groan.
"I'm sorry, I didn't even think about that. I've been here all day working on it and I just didn't want to stop while I was on a roll. Do you want me to call back tomorrow?"
"Nah." He yawned and then asked me, "Look I'm doing a wedding tomorrow at City Hall. They only want pictures of the ceremony, so I should be finished for lunchtime. Meet me outside and we'll go for lunch somewhere and you can tell me exactly what you want."
"Oh my God, thank you, Edward. Thank you, thank you, thank you," I said excitedly down the phone. "And dinner is totally on me. Pick any place you like!"
"No problem," he said, sounding like he was falling asleep again. "I gotta get some sleep."
"Sorry, yes, go and sleep, Edward." Then I added cheekily, "I need your undivided attention tomorrow."
"You always had that, Bella. Always."
The rush of warmth and contentment that I felt at such innocuous and innocent words left me speechless, and Edward had hung up before I'd composed myself enough to wish him goodnight.
I left my mess on the floor and lay down on the couch in my office, thinking constantly about Edward and then the show, the two keeping me from sleep for the next few hours. The building itself was eerily quiet, and despite the noise and lights from the city outside my window I felt more alone than I could ever remember.
I wanted to pick up the phone and call my mom. I wanted to know what role she and my dad played in my new life. Had I pushed them aside like I had Edward? Did they know what their little girl was really like now? Were they proud of me?
I had another ten days to go before they returned from vacation, and hopefully I could figure out some things for myself before then. If I could just get my idea across to MTV, if I could prove to myself and to everyone else that I was more than Esme's puppet and achieve something real then that was the first steps to distancing myself from the old Bella. The one I didn't recognise.
"I knew I'd find you here in the same clothes this morning."
The sound of Rosalie's voice woke me up and I opened my eyes to see sunlight streaming in through the window. I sat up and stretched. "Yeah, it was really late when I finally finished and I thought it was easier to just crash here."
"I brought you breakfast and a fresh coffee." She thrust the bag containing my breakfast and a cup at me and then looked down at the papers on the floor.
I took a bite of the burrito, keeping my eyes on her as she glanced over the notes. I watched her expression shift to one of surprise before she looked back at me.
"A little different?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.
"It evolved," I said with my mouth full of my breakfast. "I figured if I was going for different why not completely change things? They'll probably hate it, but to be entirely honest I don't think I can put forward the old idea for Empire even if I wanted to. What do you think of what you can see so far?"
Rosalie shook her head. "I'm reserving judgement until I've seen the finished product, but one thing I've learned about you, Bella, despite all your flaws—and I know you have plenty—there's no denying you're responsible for everything you and Esme achieved. You were always better than Esme let you believe, and if she'd given you the free rein from the start, there would have been no need to ever have to sleep with Alec Rhodes. I say go for it and if it fails… well at least you know you tried honestly. I'll always have your back if you need it."
I smiled at her, thankful I had her on my side. I needed someone like her that's for sure. "Promise me one thing?" I asked and she nodded. "Always tell me straight. I'm done with the bullshit and pretences and the only opinions I really care about now are the truthful ones."
"So I have permission to tell you if I think your attitude stinks or if I think your new idea is a sack of shit?" she asked with a smirk.
"Maybe just be tactful?" I suggested and she laughed.
"Sure thing, Bella." She sat down opposite me and started her daily debrief. "I made dinner plans with Alec for you tomorrow night at nine at Katsuya. I also took matters into my own hands, primarily because I was sick to death of her calling and arranged for you to meet with Angela Weber. I told her you were busy planning the next season of Empire, but could fit in dinner on the twenty-ninth. So, you have until then to make up your mind once and for all. I also have here about twelve messages from one Carlisle Cullen—I know you said to hold his calls, but he's not giving up. Maybe you could tell him to quit hassling your overworked and underpaid assistant?" I saw her smirk, so knew she was joking. "You don't want me to read the messages do you? It was bad enough writing them down."
I shook my head and took them from her, blushing instantly as I saw the first lines of the first message.
Come on, baby, you're killing me here. I miss you and I'm as horny as a motherfucker without you. I don't know why you're ignoring me. The handcuffs were supposed to be a joke.
"Oh my God," I whispered and hid the rest of the messages underneath the cushion on the couch. "Carlisle Cullen… me… sex… I just can't… I really got to do it with Carlisle?"
I wasn't actually talking to Rose, but the fact I said it out loud must have given her the impression I was asking her the question. "Cute guy, a little too charming if you ask me, but you obviously like him. Why else have you kept letting him walk in and out of your life all these years? He has a nice ass too… that image I can't shake from my mind."
"You've seen his ass?" I asked and she grimaced.
"Oh yes. I can't blame you for blacking out the experience of me walking in on you two on the desk. I wish I could forget it."
I looked at the desk and images of the Carlisle Cullen I remembered flashed into my head along with some other ones which were much less innocent. Despite the nasty person I'd become, apparently I was still likeable enough that Carlisle wanted to be a part of my life. Surely then, there had to be something he liked about me?
"I guess I could call him?" I said, feeling instantly nervous at just the prospect of talking to him on the phone. "But first I have to go and meet Edward."
"His brother… again?"
"Yeah, he's a photographer and I need his help getting the presentation just right. I need to get changed first… and take a shower."
"That was going to be the next item for discussion on my list," Rosalie said with a laugh. "Are you out for the rest of the day?"
"I don't know," I admitted.
"Then I might suggest you move that," she indicated to the floor, "Because if Esme comes looking for you and sees what you have up your sleeve, I expect fireworks."
"That's a good idea," I said and immediately started tidying them away, the last thing I needed was Esme putting a stop to everything.
I arrived early to meet Edward, and he was still taking pictures of the newly married couple outside the venue. I waited as close as I could without imposing, fascinated as I watched him move the bride, groom, and their guests around to post for the photos. He was so enthusiastic and confident as he worked. He was also a perfectionist, and if the slightest detail wasn't just right, he wasn't happy. I giggled to myself as he moved the grooms hand just a few inches to the left so as not to conceal the detail on the bride's dress.
I thought I'd laughed quietly, but evidently not, because he looked over at me and smiled. For a few seconds he didn't look away, and I felt it again… that same flood of warmth through my entire body. I couldn't describe exactly how it made me feel, but whatever it was it made me feel at home again.
It took him another ten minutes or so to finish and as the bride and groom drove away he walked over to me with his camera in tow. I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him, and he quickly snapped a shot of me.
"It's been a long time since I saw you smile like that," he said, turning the camera around so I could see the picture. "So, where are we going for lunch? I'm starving."
I had no idea what to suggest. "You choose. My treat, remember?"
"Let's just grab a hot dog and then go sit in the park. It's a nice day, shame to be stuck indoors. You're not too posh to eat a hot dog now are you?" His tone was playful, but it was another reminder of just how different our lives had become.
"Honestly, Edward, I'd rather eat a hot dog with you in the park any day of the week. I know we've grown apart, but despite that, you're still my absolute best friend." I nudged him as we walked. "I have some serious begging to do, because I need you to do me a huge favour."
"Should I be scared?" he asked and I just laughed.
"If spending a lot of time with me over the next few days is scary to you then yes, I think you should be terrified."
"Spending time with you isn't scary, Bella. It's been great seeing you again… it's what happens afterwards that's scary." He looked down at the floor and took a deep breath.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, stopping in my tracks and tugging him around to face me. "Edward?"
He reached out and squeezed my hand. "It took a long time to get used to you not being my friend, Bella. A long fucking time. I just don't want to have to do it all over again when you get past whatever phase this is that you're going through right now."
"Phase? What do you mean by that?"
"The Bella I hear about from my mother is most definitely not the one standing in front of me. You have nothing to do with anyone or anything from Ventura except Esme and my brother. You haven't been home in years and you hardly ever speak to your parents. The Bella I knew all those years ago, I'd happily spend every minute of every day with, but the Bella you became I can't stand to be around. I just need to know now… before I get trampled on again."
I stepped closer to him and hugged him tightly. "I swear, Edward, it's me… the old me, I promise. I don't want to be anyone else but the Bella Swan you know better than anybody else."
Hope you liked it!
I will try, try, try to post another chapter next weekend, but I don't have anything else prewritten yet and I just haven't have a lot of time to sit down and write!
Geek now has the most incredible banner thanks to the awesome Evil Nat. I will get it uploaded to my profile here, but for now it is up on the Facebook group Mrsk81 Fic. Feel free to come say hi!
Hopefully see you next weekend, if not will be as soon as I can!
TTYL
Katy
